Alpacasso Thoughts

Not perfect at anything Not terrible at everything ACNL: BouvilleTimes

[lokidokeyartichoki]

I found a company called “Frantic Meerkat” who makes journals whose sole purpose is to call me out

[hellenhighwater]

This is by the Mincing Mockingbird guy (of “I’d sell you to satan for one corn chip” and “The risk I took was calculated, but man, am I bad at math” fame) and you can buy them here

https://www.mincingmockingbird.com/collections/frantic-meerkat

[eelpatrickharris-deactivated202]

i stroll into the little saltwater store in the city. a border collie comes barreling over and begins nibbling my toes through my open heels. the dude behind the counter introduces himself and asks me if i have any tanks at home or if he needs to set one up for me. i tell him that i have 16 tanks and ask him if he has any personal ones before he can comment on that number. he proceeds to say “yeah, i have a 120 in my office. it has a clam in it.” i cautiously respond “oh, a clam?” and he whips out his phone which already has a livestream up on it. it’s centered on the biggest clam i’ve ever seen, just chillin’ in this tank and taking up half of the available floorspace in a 120 gallon. “that’s my baby,” he says, and points at the unholy bivalve in case i didn’t notice it on my own. there are now two border collies snorfling at my toes while i stare in awe at this dude’s gigantic fucking clam

[zippiestrock]

Op is he single

[eelpatrickharris-deactivated202]

idk but i’m wondering if my guy would mind if i left him for a positively stunning clam

[untoxicated]

Date him to lull him into a false sense of security and Steal His Clam

[eelpatrickharris-deactivated202]

Clam Theft Auto

[cupisbow]

My brain went from shirt tanks then military tanks before it understood you were talking about a fish tank.

[justbadpuns]

To the guy who invented zero, thanks for nothing

[paramaline]

shoutout to my coworker for thinking that “illuminati” and “alumnae” meant the same thing and absolutely destroying everyone in the room when he casually dropped the sentence “i get a discount there because i’m an illuminati” into the conversation

[shutupmerlin]

A series of events:

1. I put in an Annual Leave request form almost 3 weeks ago and my boss has not approved it yet

2. I went into my office today and replaced every single writing utensil with crayons in preparation for April Fools Day on Monday

3. Whilst searching for pens to remove, I found my unsigned Annual Leave form in my boss’s drawer

4. I placed my unsigned Annual Leave form in a photo frame and put in on his desk

5. The frame I used was from a photo of his kids that I deemed less important than my Leave form

6. My boss sometimes goes into the office on Saturdays to work

7.

[aerialsquid]

I appreciate the context of 1-6 or else 7 might have had some very concerning implications.

[jasper-rolls]

remember that sasuke figurine that could hold up like literally fucking anythign

[pooplex-deactivated20140101]

[atomicpowered]

And my personal favorite

[frxppy]

ARE YOU KIDDING ME

[blizzard-bells-deactivated20180]

I had to reblog this, I’m sorry

[comic-canary]

This is back and I will never not reblog

[quirkless-boyo-deactivated20190]

Re-Blogging if anyone else needs to laugh : ‘ )

[skrewsociety]

Pull me into a bathroom at a party and tell me how bad you want me. Then fuck me.

[sodomymcscurvylegs]

Me, outside the bathroom waiting for these two to stop fucking so I can pee:

[sourearth]

my brother is a little shit in minecraft

[darkmoron]

This is the most accurate portrayal of siblings on this goddam site

[studentlifeproblems]

[thatsathing-yourfavorite-blog]

Cant figure out if im too young or too old but i dont remember this

[taestoy]

Nope. Not something I ever saw

[cupisbow]

How old is OP?? It was Senior Year of high school for me when Smart Boards started popping up

[kim-kartrashcan]

I mean…I’d be concerned too

[j-sillabub]

They tracked the person down and it turned out to be a woman from Scotland whose baby *really* loved Bee Movie to the point that it was the only thing that stopped him crying. So she just played it over and over. The endurance. She must have been exhausted.

[toastbutteregg]

the fact they tracked the person down to check on them made me feel like Netflix cares

what a turn on

hot

[thecittiverse]

Fearing for Isabelle’s safety, Samus trains her to defend herself! This may take longer than she thought…

[fuckyeahwomenprotesting]

[baelanii]

This educated me so I’m sharing it

[rsf0908]

Yeah, me too.

[zackisontumblr]

as someone from the midwest i’m 200% sure i’ve said this before

[ilovepeppers-deactivated2019122]

[ithotyouknew2-deactivated201710]

Look at how well you age when you stay in your lane

[melonmemes]

99.9 percent

[youcanthandelthetruth]

Some old fella came up to me at work and asked a question only he didn’t quite figure out if he should call me “sir” or “ma’am” by the time he got to the end of his sentence and in a moment of apparent panic ended up saying “captain” instead. Absolutely made my day.

[meganbagels-deactivated20251216]

Ideal pronoun

[c-rowlesdraws]

every time…

[acfan120]

Some Gremlin is best

[c-rowlesdraws]

omfg I can’t BELIEVE I hadn’t reblogged this adorable addition to my post yet. I love the balloon and the flower crown.