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[a-milky-strawberry]

BTS Reaction - When You Have a Tattoo (+ Meanings) (Hyung Line)

A/N: hey guys. i know i’ve been gone a while and i’m really sorry about that. work has been hell and i can’t honestly remember when i last got more than 4 hours of sleep. however, i’m going to start up a new schedule for myself to update this blog full of scenarios and reactions that i have saved up so that this blog doesn’t become dead in the water. ALSO. i have a youtube channel now. it’s not much, i’m mostly going to start posting playlists and themed/aesthetic playlists on there so it would mean a lot if you guys could check it out: here

strap in. this is a long one.

tw//: mentions of suicide, old cutting scars, and implications of anorexia or atleast malnourishment

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Jin: (Arm)

You and Jin have been dating for a while and he noticed a little thing about you. You always wore long-sleeved shirts. Not that he was complaining or anything, but you always seemed to wear them. Even in a formal situation you would wear a beautiful dress with long sleeves. Jin simply thought of it as an aesthetic. Plus, you never seemed to mind or care, even on the hottest days so as long as you were fine with it so was Jin.

So, when Jin popped by your apartment for a spontaneous movie night without so much as a text or call, he was a little starstruck when he saw you sporting a tank top. Of course you wore tank tops. You didn’t have to wear a long sleeve shirt everywhere. Just as Jin was getting the couch comfortable for the movie night and you brought him the popcorn, that’s when he saw it.

A simple, minimalistic tattoo of a rose in the middle of your arm with blobs of watercolor red filled into the petals like an overlay. To say Jin was taken aback by it wouldn’t be full exaggeration and atleast he finally knew why you wore those long sleeved shirts everywhere you two went together. Nonetheless, Jin thought it was beautiful.

Jin gently traced your tattoo and looked at you in awe.

“When did you get this?” he asked, still gently tracing the simplicitic drawing.

“Oh, this?” you replied, “I got this, like, maybe over a year ago back when I was college. I like minimalism. I always wanted to get a tattoo, but I didn’t want an extravagant one. I wanted something kinda small and cute but also that held a lot of meaning to me.”

Jin tenderly nodded his head. “And does it mean anything?”

You felt your cheeks warm as you let out an awkward giggle. “Yeah, but the meaning is kinda cheesy and weird and really embarrassing...”

“Please tell me.” Jin softly begged as he pulled his secret weapon: that handsome face.

You playfully rolled your eyes and let out a groan. “You know I can’t say no to that face. It’s basically cheating.”

You faced your tattoo towards Jin and began to tell your story. “Well, a while ago -- I guess over a year ago -- I was struggling. A lot. I didn’t know what I wanted to do in life or even when I should do it. All my siblings and cousins and relatives were doing so many cool and great things. Traveling, learning multiple languages, charity work, getting accepted into prestigious colleges and companies. And then there was me; a person couldn’t even decide if they wanted to finish college or drop out altogether. I guess you could say I was a little lost and confused. I couldn’t hold down a job and I would always say the same thing to my parents, “I’m holding out for something better” or “I’ll find my way eventually”. I was also broke and the only kid in my family still living with their parents. Growing up I always had this idea of what I wanted to do when I got older, but then when I got older I realized I didn’t have much of an idea as much as a passing thought. I still felt like that little kid dreaming about what I really wanted to be.``

Your tone had taken on a softer tone and your eyes lost a little light. Jin’s heart ached to see you so sad. You had never told him anything about this.

“So, you were a little insecure because your family seemed to be doing better than you?” Jin asked carefully.

You snorted and faced forward, now facing the TV that played Netflix trailers of popular shows. “To say I was a little insecure would be an understatement. I was full blown jealous. I would hope and pray every day that I would find what I was meant to do. My passion.” You were now staring at your hands, your eyes completely downcast as a small sad smile formed on your face. “I always felt like I was letting my parents down, y’know? Quitting job after job, telling them that they were just overreacting about their worries for me. When in actuality I think they knew that I was lost and confused about what I wanted to do. I think they saw how pushing others caused my siblings to strive for their success and they thought that the same would work on me. Which I didn’t have to tell you it didn’t.”

You leaned back into the couch, staring up at the ceiling mindlessly following the spin of the ceiling fan. “I got into a huge fight with my folks about dropping out of school and just taking a year to find myself. I ran off to my grandmother’s where I cried and spilled out all my anxieties and worries over this peach matcha tea she used to make for me whenever I got really upset.”

You then faced Jin with a smile. “That’s when she told me this story about these different colored roses. About how each rose had a meaning and the color associated with that rose can bring about a different outlook and meaning to the flower. And at the end of the story she said, “No matter how beautiful colored roses there are in the world, Y/N, you will always be my red rose.”

Jin smiled along with you. “That’s a beautiful thing to say.”

“Yeah, I never truly understood it until she died. She died a few weeks after that conversation. I was the last person to see her alive.” Jin rubbed your back gently. “I’m so sorry, Y/N. That must’ve been rough for you.”

“Yeah,” you let out a shaky breath as you felt your eyes getting wet. “It was really rough and I can’t tell you how long I cried after the funeral. Heh, I cried so hard I lost weight.” You turned to face your boyfriend. “Do you know the meaning of a rose, Jin?”

Jin shook his head.

“It means a few different things. It symbolizes passion, romance, affection, beauty, and grace, but can also represent balance depending on the color. Many colored roses have completely different meanings for different occasions. But do you know what my favorite meaning for the red rose is?”

Again, Jin shook his head.

“Immortal love. So, when my grandmother told me that I would always be her red rose and that was the last thing she ever told me, those words rang in my head for weeks. Then, one day, after I finally got all my sadness out, I finally knew what I wanted to do. I was going to start living like the meaning of a rose. Full of passion!” You smiled brightly. “I dropped out of school and started living the life I wanted. Finding myself in each and every activity I could afford. And I did! In the beauty and grace of music. In the balance of my own schedule and the affection I hold towards the art.” You turned to Jin with the same bright smile and softly caressed his face. “And in the romance of my true love.”

It was now Jin’s turn to blush. “True love, huh?”

You happily nodded your head. “If it weren’t for my fight with my parents that led my to my grandmother’s final words that led me on the path to starting music which in turn led me to you, then I’d probably be still living with my parents, working job after job after job, being miserable and my grandmother’s words would’ve been her dying breath.”

“I guess I have a lot to thank her for then.” Jin smiled as he held your waist and snuggled into your neck. You smiled gently at the thought. “Heh, yeah.” you replied somberly. “On some days I visit her tombstone and talk to her about you and how things are going. If you want, and if it won’t be too weird, maybe we could visit her together.”

Jin smiled into your neck. “I would love to. I have to meet the woman that brought my rose to me.”

Namjoon: (Spine)

Things between you and Namjoon were starting to get quite hot and heavy. You guys seemed to be in a perpetual lovey-dovey stage that always involved either touching, hugging or kissing each other. You tried to keep the PDA to a minimum on your part, especially around the other members. You went to high school. You knew how gross and annoying it was to always see that same couple every day in the hallway making out everywhere they went. Namjoon on the other hand thought that if the members had a problem with it they could easily look somewhere else, go somewhere else, or put on some noise-canceling headphones. Beats? Raycons? Sony? That price for some noise-canceling headphones is almost nothing to BTS. However, you came to a compromise with Namjoon and the rest of the members after Jin once caught you guys in a full-blown makeout session on the kitchen counter. He still brings up how he had to scrub and disinfect every inch of the kitchen just in case of possible “contamination”. The compromise stated that the PDA displayed by the two of you would have to be in a closed off area with the minimum of two people in the vicinity and there were to only to be affection, if not limited to, hugging, cuddling, kissing, massages (nothing sexual, such as head, feet, back, and neck), and naps. Nothing that displays explicit PDA in a vicinity of more than two people such as making out, grinding, biting, hickies, dirty talk, and/or other explicit behavior that should be done in private. Everyone seemed to agree and were even more comfortable that you came up with the compromise. Even though it took a while for Namjoon to come around the rules he found that he did like cuddling you after a hard studio session or a concert more than making out every second you two were together.

Namjoon was in his studio working when he got a call on his cell. Normally, he would ignore the call or at least put it on silent and text the person on the receiving end that he was busy, but he made an exception as he could use a break for a few minutes. He looked at the ID and saw that Suga was calling him.

“Hello?” Namjoon answered.

“Yeah, uh, Namjoon?” spoke an oddly nervous Yoongi.

“Yeah? What’s wrong?”

“Umm, could you come to my studio?”

Namjoon quirked his eyebrow as he looked up from scanning the lyrics in his notebook. “Why? Is something wrong? Did Jungkook and Taehyung lock you out of it again?”

“Uh,... no… It’s Y/N… she uh…”

Namjoon immediately jumped out of his chair and raced towards Yoongi’s studio, hanging up all too quickly. Were you hurt? Did something happen to you? Yoongi did sound nervous over the phone. A wave of anxieties rushed over Namjoon as he quickened his pace towards Genius Studio.

Namjoon finally made it towards the studio to find you kneeling over on your hands and knees with a pain-stricken look on your face and with Suga by your side anxiously wondering what to do. Namjoon rushed to your side, looking all around you. “Baby? What’s wrong? Are you okay? Are you hurt? Are you sick?” Question after question, Namjoon bombarded you faster than he gave you time to answer.

“My… back…” you wheezed.

“Your back? What’s wrong with your back?” Namjoon gave your back only a gentle stroke only to be met with a pained grunts and hisses escaping your mouth.

“She threw her back out trying to help me move some of my new sounding equipment into the studio. She wanted to only call her a ride back home so she can take her painkillers, but I thought it would be best if you took her home. I’d feel a lot better if her boyfriend took her home in this condition than some strange taxi service.” Yoongi explained, pointing to three large boxes packed to the brim with sounding equipment, instruments, and speakers.

“Thanks Suga. I’ll make sure she gets home safe and sound. Walk with me to the car. I’ll have to carry her.”

Yoongi nodded and went to open the door while Namjoon picked up bridal style. Your face was flushed with embarrassment. Not only did you throw your back out after adamantly stating to Yoongi that you could move all his boxes without any help, you’re now being carried out to the car park like a child. As Namjoon gently put you in the passenger seat and Yoongi closed the door, you rolled down the window.

“I’m really sorry, Yoongi… I hope I didn’t break anything when I-” you started to explain but then you were immediately cut off by Yoongi.

“Hey, hey, hey. Don’t worry about it. I think you already know the story of how I dislocated my shoulder before. Plus, I should’ve just paid extra for the dolly just to prevent any injury from either you or me. So, don’t worry too much. Focus on getting better.” Yoongi smiled as he ruffled your hair. Now you were really pouting. If you didn’t already feel like a weak child then the hair ruffling really made it clear.

You all said your goodbyes as Namjoon slowly pulled off the spot and out of the car park, on his way to your apartment.

When you finally returned home and Namjoon finally fished the keys out of your back pocket, Namjoon made a b-line for the couch. Ever so gently he put you on your stomach and you let out a soft sigh as you melted into the couch, the stinging pain of your back beating and pulsating.

“Can I get you anything babe?” Namjoon asked softly.

“Yeah, uh, in my bathroom down the hall, you know the one, in my medicine cabinet there should be a brown bottle with blue pills in it. Can you bring it to me with a glass of water?” “Of course!” Namjoon scurried off to your bathroom in search of the medicine and you heard a few crashes and bangs along the search. He called out a timid ‘sorry’ and you tried not to laugh as he came tumbling into your kitchen to get your water. Namjoon placed the water on the coffee table in front of you and opened your bottle of medicine.

“What is this? The prescription is too faded to read how much you need.” Namjoon asked, squinting at the bottle trying to make out the faded English letters.

“They’re painkillers and I need to take two.” you answered as you held out your hand.

“Are you sure? Plus, this bottle looks pretty old. Maybe you need a new prescription.”

“Yes, I’m sure Namjoon. Just please give them to me already. My back is killing me.”

Namjoon placed two pills into your hand and you gulped them down quickly. You then grabbed the water next to you to smoothly chase down the chalky, gross aftertaste of the painkillers. You let out another gentle sigh as you waited for it to kick in.

Namjoon sat on the floor, head resting on your thighs. “I didn’t know you took painkillers.”

“I don’t regularly, but I have an old injury that kinda acts up on some days and I keep it around in case I need them.” you explained your face becoming flushed again with embarrassment. With the way you were talking it made you sound like you were an old person.

“An old injury? You injured your back?”

“Yeah, I did… um… a while ago or something…”

And here Namjoon thought you guys told each other everything. You never once spoke about this to him. Now it was Namjoon’s turn to be embarrassed. I mean… with all the stuff you two did it should’ve at least came up once. Just then, he came up with a great plan to make you feel better.

“Hey, how about a massage?”

“A massage?”

“Yeah, a nice soothing massage to relax your back while you wait for the painkillers to kick in.”

Well, a massage does sound nice right now and you can’t think of the last time you had a massage. “Okay, sure. I have some baby oil in my bathroom cabinets.”

Namjoon gave a quick nod and hurried back to the bathroom. He came only a few seconds and a few more crashes with lavender baby oil in his hands. He shot you a quick smile. “Do you need help taking off your shirt?”

You blushed again. “M-My shirt?”

“Um, yeah!” he laughed, setting the baby oil down on the coffee table. “Unless you want me to ruin your shirt, how else am I going to give you a back massage?”

Your face was now redder than a desert sky at sunset. “Y-You can take it off for me. But! Only just a massage! That’s all!”

Namjoon laughed again. “Of course.” He slowly lifted up your shirt and whispered softly in your ear. “What else did you have in mind? Naughty jagi…”

“If I weren’t in so much pain I’d kick your ass.” you pouted, smothering your face into your couch pillow.

Namjoon let out a hearty laugh and with a flourish slipped your shirt over your head and folded it neatly on the coffee table. Namjoon then squirted some oil into his hands and gave them a nice rub. As he looked down at your bare back he noticed something.

“You have a tattoo?” he asked. He stared down at what looked like symbols and scribbles of some sorts in the middle of your spine.

“Hm? Oh yeah, that. Yeah. I got it forever ago. Around high school actually.”

“Wow…” he gaped in awe. You had a tattoo and you got it in high school? You were definitely holding back secrets. “Do these symbols and scribbles have any meaning or did you just want to get it?”

“They have meanings. Um, on top, do you see a symbol followed by a moon with a dotted circle around it?”

“Yeah.”

“The moon symbolizes feminine energy. And do you see the lotus flower and at the bottom those circles and lines? The lotus flower represents purity and the circles and lines are actually called “unalome” which means “path to enlightenment”.”

Namjoon nodded along to your explanation tracing the symbols and symbols along your spine finding it all fascinating. “Wow. Really? That’s really powerful. Why’s it on your back though? Why did you get it in the first place?”

“If you want to know the story, then I’d suggest putting those hands to work because it’s going to be a long one.”

Namjoon squirted some more oil into his hands and gently began to work on your lower back. You let out a purr as you sunk deeper into the couch and felt the soothing touches of your boyfriend. He sure did know his way around with those fingers.

“Hey, so tell me the story.” Namjoon piped in.

“Oh right. Well, when I was growing up I was a bit weaker and underdeveloped than most kids my age. And when I say underdeveloped I mean really underdeveloped. When I was five people still thought I was three years old. 1st graders were taller than me. And I was really weak. I would get sick easily and would have to miss out on a lot of things like school and making new friends. When I was at school, no one would play with me. My parents have made a fuss about me at each school I went to so most kids thought I was contagious and didn’t want to touch me or be near me because their parents told them that they’d get sick if they played with me.”

Namjoon clicked his tongue and shook his head. He knows that this was long ago but that seemed like a sad way to grow up. Kids can be so cruel sometimes.

“Not only that, but even if I could play I couldn’t keep up. I wasn’t fast or agile or even sneaky. After running for only a few minutes I’d be a coughing wheezing mess. Which meant I couldn’t play tag or hide-and-seek with the other kids. I was often exempt from classes like gym because I couldn’t keep up. The other kids thought I was just faking it to get out playing dodgeball or running laps or climbing that rope thingy. I got called all types of names that now don’t really mean anything to me because it happened so long and we were just kids y’know but back then it really, really hurt. I started to hate going to school more and more up until high school. Most of the kids that used to bully me or call me names had either moved away or went to a different high school or simply didn’t remember.”

“High school’s when you got the tattoo right? Did something happen?”

“Yeah, I got tired of being weak and looked down upon with pity by my classmates and teachers. It felt like they were putting me down with their looks and words. Like they were saying, “Hey, here’s some sympathy you weak, scrawny child. I have no idea what you’re going through so let me pretend you’re worth a damn by feigning interest in your life and giving myself a pat on my back for acknowledging you.” Or something like that.”

“Oh, babe. That couldn’t have been true.”

“And it wasn’t! It was just that stupid little voice in my head from kindergarten all the way to high school manifesting itself and telling me that no one around me actually cares. They all just want to feign sympathy from the weak kid so they can look like they actually care. So I wanted to make a change in myself. I didn’t want to be forever known as the weak kid all throughout high school. So, I signed up for my high school weight lifting club.”

“Weight lifting club? You were a weight lifter?” Namjoon asked, shocked, now massaging the middle of your back.

“The best, but we’ll get back to that in a minute.” you said, smiling brightly, remembering fondly of your high school days. “At first, the coach told me that there was no way he could in good faith let me join the club. I was weak, had respiratory problems, got sick easily, and I was 100 pounds soaking wet. I was just about to leave school when I ran into my first best friend, Liam. We had a few classes together but we never really talked up until that point. He asked me what was wrong and I told him all my struggles and how I really wanted to join the weight lifting team but the coach told me no. The way Liam looked at me was the first time anyone has ever looked at me without a look of pity. He had this… determined look in his eye. He talked with the coach and they came to an agreement that if I weighed 115 pounds by the end of the month, I could join by next semester. It was already a few months into the winter semester so if I could join by spring I’d be in the clear of everyone’s pity. We all agreed and Liam and I began to work even after the month had passed to reach my goal. Light training, jogging here and there, and a well-balanced diet made by Liam, my coach, and of course, my doctor.”

“That’s amazing, babe! Your parents must’ve been proud.”

“Oh, no! Nuh-uh! Not one bit! They thought I was going to hurt myself or something terrible was going to happen to me if I started lifting weights, which something did but we’ll get to that part. Anyway, I get back to the coach before the start of winter break and I’m just above my goal weight like 116 or 117 or something. I was ready to join the team in the spring. Liam and I worked and we trained and trained and trained. Liam was the only real one that believed in me to see it through. To push me to my greater limits. But, he always knew when I needed to take a break. And since I had joined after one person used a piece of equipment it would have to be wiped down and the locker room would have to be cleaned and sterilized every day. Oh, I should also mention that I was the only girl in that club.”

“What?! Really?!”

“Yep, it was all boys before I got there so they had to make a lot of adjustments and accommodations for me.”

“Well, look at my babygirl! Setting examples of strong women.”

“Oh, stop it!” you rolled your eyes, blushing. “Anyway, Every week I was getting stronger and better. I was the first freshman to deadlift 250 on the team, and my doctor said my health was looking better too. I looked better and even felt better. Weight lifting was such an amazing outlet for me. I was setting records almost every month. That’s when my coach enrolled me into a weightlifting competition similar to the Olympics but with the best student from every school. I was so pumped and I knew with Liam by my side I knew I could go and win it. I got the go ahead from my doctor and I got permission from my parents. The day the competition rolled around I was so excited. I was finally going to show everyone that I wasn’t that weak little kid they knew growing up. Skipping forward I make it to the final 3 rounds. The first round I lifted 275. Hold for 3 secs. And drop. Easy. The second round I lifted 300. Hold for 3 secs. And drop. I got a little shaky, but I was determined to win! The last guy lifts 315. And I’m thinking, “I gotta go big or else, I’m going home!” So I go up to 335. The crowd is whispering and aweing and my coach looks nervous. “Can she even pull this off?” Everyone is wondering. It goes quiet. I lift 335. And I drop.”

Namjoon’s eyes are big at your words. “You dropped? Like the weight?”

“No. I mean I drop. I folded. I dropped to the floor onto my back screaming bloody murder. God, the pain. It felt like I broke my back. Almost as if I snapped it. My coach and medical professionals are all gathered around me. I’m carried off onto a stretcher. The looks from the crowd and the other competitors all blur together until… I passed out. I woke up in the hospital hours later connected to morphine and my parents crying beside me. Spondylolysis. Repetitive strain, the doctor said. He didn’t know if I could ever weight lift again. I was crushed by that more than anything else. Not losing the competition. Not what the students at my school would think. Nothing.”

“Holy shit, baby! That sounds awful.”

“It was. I had to get surgery and attend multiple sessions of physical therapy at home. I was excused from school during all of it. The team would send me get-well soon cards, candy, homework, and flowers but nothing could make me feel better. I was completely and utterly depressed. I thought that if I couldn’t weight lift anymore then I’d just go back to being that weak kid that everyone had pity for. I wasn’t eating properly. All I did all day, every day, for the next few months was sleep and do physical therapy and maybe eat a few bits of food my mom would bring me. Thinking back on it now it must’ve broken her heart how upset I was. Even though she was against the idea from the very start, she saw me happy which in turn I guess made her happy. Soon, I had to go back to school. I was getting better and at least starting to walk better. I thought everyone would look down on me with pity once again.”

“Did they?”

“Heh, no. When I came back everyone was cheering and congratulating me. Giving me soft hugs, candy, and pats on the back. They gave me this huge card with everyone’s name in it. Everywhere I went they would shout compliments at me and tell me how strong I was to even make it to the top 3. I even inspired some girls to join the club for the next semester. Even other students from the competition would congratulate me. But I don’t think anyone was more proud of me than Liam and coach. Coach told me that in all his years of weightlifting at the school not one freshman had been able to enroll in the competition -- let alone make it to the top 3. I was the first female freshman to receive a varsity jacket only given to seniors. I even got a trophy. Well, not a real one. It was made by the team, but I think that counts more than some silly competition. Liam was so happy, you should’ve seen his face. And as Liam and I were walking home together, he said jokingly “You should get a tattoo on your back so you can remember that day.” And I took it to heart. I researched until I found the perfect tattoo. It took a lot of convincing but once I pulled up the back injury card they caved so fast. I wasn’t even 15 yet and I had my first tattoo.”

“Is that common in America?”

“Not really common. But if you’re under the age of 18 you can get a tattoo or piercing with your parents permission.”

“Really?”

“Yep! So, all together do you wanna know what it means?”

“Does it have a different meaning altogether?”

“Yep! Separately they have different meanings but altogether I like to think the meaning is the path.”

“The path?”

“Yeah. The moon represents my powerful feminine energy as I was the only girl to set records in the weightlifting team. The lotus represents my purity but also my rebirth and self-regeneration as I moved on from my depression once I realized that not everyone thought of me as weak. Finally, my unalome represents my path to how I discovered true enlightenment within myself. Just because I injured my back doesn’t mean my life is over. I was still able to train and do the things I loved to do even with a bad back. And with my treatment it’s actually way better than it was years ago. Put all these things together and it says that I am a strong and powerful woman waving her path through enlightenment.”

Namjoon smiled and kissed the top of your head. “That’s beautiful, baby. By the way, have your painkillers kicked in?”

“Yeah, a few moments ago. Thank you for the massage baby. You are seriously magic.”

“I do what I can.” Namjoon wiped his hands of the baby oil and sat by the couch again, his head resting on your thigh. He then eyed your bottle of painkillers and a frown grew on his face.

“Babe? Maybe we should get your prescription renewed just in case something like this happens again. I don’t want you taking these old pills from high school. It’s not safe.”

You let out a quiet hum. “Okay. Can we go tomorrow? I’m kinda sleepy…”

Namjoon smiled at you. “Of course. Let’s get you to bed. Couches aren’t good for your bad back anyway. It might aggravate it.”

Namjoon gently picked up and carried you off to bed. His jagi. A strong powerful woman. He always knew that.

Yoongi: (Wrist)

Being with Yoongi was always amazing. Everyday was like an adventure. If you count adventure as watching him masterfully working in his Genius Studio and taking naps together then you both are adventurous. In all honesty, you were amazed with Yoongi. His skillful raps, the way he made creating a beat out of nowhere seemed almost so easy, and his dedication to his work made you swoon. You’re in the same line of work as Yoongi, only not as successful. Which is fine! Your poor nerves couldn’t handle the amount of fame and recognition that Yoongi gets let alone BTS as a whole. Someone once recognized you from YouTube in a coffee shop and it took every ounce of fiber in your being not to run away. At first the member thought you were the shy and quiet type like Yoongi. You weren’t so much as shy and quiet as you were socially anxious. Always afraid of saying or doing the wrong thing, not wanting to step on anyone’s toes, never speaking up so that your ideas don’t get shot down or called stupid. That was the way you’ve lived your life. A shadow that if no one heard sneeze or saw eat they’d think you were a ghost.

Yoongi was different from other people you’ve dated. He would often complement any beat or form of music you would make. He was always there if you needed advice. He was your guru and you were his inspiration. You guys thrived off each other. You two could talk for hours and yet say nothing in comfortable silence. You two shared everything. Well, almost everything. Like in Jin’s scenario you had a habit of wearing long-sleeved shirts. Yoongi normally wouldn’t mind but you would often wear them to bed and during the hottest days of the summer. However, Yoongi minded his business. He didn’t think it was necessary to question your outfit choices. If you were comfortable wearing it then that’s all that mattered. At least it would be if you weren’t odd about it. Not weird, but odd. Whenever he or another member would try to grab your wrist you’d pull away. Hard. You’d pull your sleeve down to your fingertips and mumble an excuse. Again, Yoongi didn’t really see the point in asking. It’s not like you were doing anything wrong.

Yoongi soon awoke to the sound of dishes softly clinking from the kitchen. With his eyes still closed he felt around the bed for you where you both were sleeping just moments ago. He patted the spot where you were supposed to be and found it empty and cold. You must’ve been up for a while. Picking himself up from his nice, warm bed he let out a grunt as he went to go find you. You were exactly where he thought: in the kitchen washing dishes. You barely had time to react before you felt two arms snake across your waist. You let out a small squeak in surprise but soon calmed down when you felt the familiar lips and rough voice grace your neck.

“What’re you doing? You should be sleeping with me.”

You let out a small giggle. “Yeah, I know, I’m sorry. I came in here for a snack but then I saw the dishes piling up so I thought I might as well do them now so I don’t have to waste future quality nap time with my boyfriend.”

Yoongi let out a small hum. “This is why I love you. You’re always thinking five steps ahead.”

You laughed and continued to wash the dishes with Yoongi clinging and leaning on you, eyes closed and enjoying the soft clinking of dishes. Resting his chin on your shoulder he glanced down at your hands and saw your long sleeve risen a little higher than normal. Is that…? That looks like…

“You know you can go back to sleep if you want to. You don’t have to lean on me like this--”

“Do you have a tattoo?”

In a blink of an eye, the sound of a loud crash startles him but not you. A bowl you had in your hand had slipped through your fingers and shattered into the sink. You stood frozen in place as Yoongi scanned your hands.

“Woah! Are you okay? You didn’t cut yourself right?”

You didn’t answer him but as soon as you felt his fingers grace your wrist you snapped back into reality. You clung onto your wrist and held it close to your chest. Yoongi didn’t understand this reaction. It’s not like he’s never seen a tattoo before. Hell, Jimin and Jungkook are the most tatted ones. Was it something personal?

“Jagi? Are you okay?” he asked again. You didn’t answer him. You faced towards the sink again, still clinging onto your wrist like it was going to fall off.

“Y/N? Look, if you’re worried about it, I don’t care that you have a tattoo. I was just curious. I’ve never seen it before.”

“It’s… it’s not the tattoo I’m worried about.” you said, your voice shaking.

Yoongi quirked his eyebrow up and noticed you shaking. What was going on with you?

“Huh? What’re you talking about? If it’s not the tattoo then why are you being so weird about it?” he genuinely asked.

You slowly turned around, still shaking and your eyes looked like you were close to crying. Yoongi was going to say something else but you quickly cut him off.

“If I show you this… do you promise not to be mad?”

Now Yoongi was really confused. Was the tattoo offensive? Why would he be mad over something like this? He took a step towards you. “Of course. I promise I won’t be mad. I swear on my life.”

You took a few shaky breaths and closed your eyes. You held out your wrist towards him and slowly pulled up the sleeve just a bit. The black ink that he saw on your wrist was a tattoo. It was a small one. It was a small music note that trailed off into a heartbeat reading. Yoongi smiled gently.

“It’s really cute, Y/N. Why would I be mad over something small like this?”

You let out another shaky breath and opened your eyes. “Because… that’s not the part I’m talking about.”

Before Yoongi could say anything else you raised up your sleeve even higher and Yoongi’s own breath got caught in his throat. All over arm were cuts, small ranging from small to big and from many faint and few dark and deep cuts. Yoongi felt like he couldn’t breathe. The silence that filled the room was damn near suffocating. Yoongi wanted to say something. He needed to say something. But,... what do you say?

“I knew you’d be mad.” Your voice quickly snapped Yoongi out of trance. Your eyes were welled up with tears now and you were full blown shaking, your breathing was becoming very uneven and broken sobs bounced off each and every wall of the kitchen.

“Nononono! Baby! I’m not upset! Trust me, I’m not upset with you.” Yoongi was quick to catch himself and rub your arms to comfort you. “I’m just…” Shocked? Flabbergasted? Can’t believe this is actually happening?!! Okay, okay. First, he needs to calm down before his brain stops working.

“I’m just surprised, okay?” Yoongi said gently, trying even harder to comfort you without freaking you out. “Do you… um… do you wanna talk about it?” He didn’t want to rush you but he needed answers.

You took awhile to answer before eventually nodding your head. “I’ve never… really… I mean… This happened way before I met you. A long time ago, I wanted to kill myself…”

Yoongi felt all the wind knocked right out of his body. His legs felt like rubber, almost as if he was going to pass out from the sentence alone. You… wanted to kill yourself. Kill yourself? If any of the members were the most mentally health conscious it was Yoongi. He’s been on the other side of that shooting range. Yoongi wanted to know more.

“You ever have that little voice in your head tell you that everything you do is shit and you’ll never amount to anything so you might as well kill yourself? Well, I’ve heard that voice over and over and over. All throughout my life. I’ve been to a mental hospital twice and this might sound condescending to them but nothing could erase that voice in my head, screaming and clawing at me. Pushing me to my limits. Just waiting for me to break.”

Yoongi kept silent, nodding along to your very words. You didn’t need his words right now. He just needs to listen. So you continued.

“But you know what made that horrible voice stop? Music. Creating music, listening to music, studying music. It sounds totally stupid and cliche and like something out of a crappy cable daytime network show, but it’s true. Focusing on my music and listening to the music of others is what made that stupid voice shut up. When I had my headphones I could finally be at peace. I feel happy. Now, I’m not saying that music is the cure all for mental illness, but… it just… something happens to me when I sit down in my own little studio and create music. That’s why I got this tattoo. I guess as more of a reminder that I live for music and music, in weird terms, kept me going through those rough times. The only other time I didn’t hear that stupid little voice is when I was with you.”

Yoongi’s eyes widened. “Me?”

“Yeah, you have this… I don’t know what you would call it… aura? You have this aura about you that makes me relax and feel safe and warm. Like nothing will ever hurt me as long as I’m with you.”

Now Yoongi was going to cry. The man doesn’t cry much but when the waterworks were turning on now and there was now way of shutting them off. Yoongi pulled you into an engulfing hug. He buried his nose deep into your neck and yours in his neck. There you both stood for a few moments taking in each other's warmth and comfort. After a while, Yoongi was the first to say something.

“Words can’t describe how happy I am with you. I want you to know that you will always be warm and safe with me. And even with the other guys. Trust in them too to help you, okay?”

“Okay…” you sniffled.

“How long have you been--?”

“I’ve been clean for a year, Yoongi. Don’t worry. I haven’t thought about relapsing ever since I met you.”

Yoongi held onto you tighter and slowly pulled away, staring right into your eyes. “I’m happy to hear that, Y/N.” Yoongi took a deep breath. “Have you… have you thought of scheduling an appointment with a psychologist?” As much as Yoongi was glad to be your support system you would also need expert support from a professional.

You nodded solemnly. “I did when I was younger… but they just wrote me off as attention-seeking. I… don’t have the best experiences with therapists.”

Yoongi felt anger rise inside of him. What kind of “psychologist” just brushes off a person with obvious signs of suicidal tendencies and mental illness. It’s the kind of story that makes you sick to your stomach when some teenager kills themselves because they weren’t being heard. Maybe that’s why you were always so small with your opinions and needs. That asshole pushed away your signs for help and left you to sink or swim. Well, not this time.

“I’ll help you find one. We’ll do research and look up quality professionals for you. This time you will get the help you need!”

“But…”

“Shh! No buts, baby. Listen, I’m happy to be your support system. If you ever hear that voice in your head or you feel like you just need to take some time away from a situation, I will be there. But, you need professional help. I know you said that I was one of your reasons for not relapsing and I would be happy to care and pamper and spoil you. But, not everything can be fixed with love.” Yoongi gestured to the scars that covered your arms. “Love can help you rebuild, form new bridges, and start wonderful possibilities, but it’s also with the help of professional and medical attention that you will truly heal as well. Okay?”

A small smile formed on your face and you nodded. “Okay. Thank you, Yoongi.”

Yoongi nodded at you, taking your hand into his. “You’re welcome. Come on. Let's finish that nap.”

“Oh, but the broken dish--”

“It can wait. I wanna hold you right now.”

You followed Yoongi back into your shared bedroom and joined him back into the soft, plushy dreamland as you both held onto each other even tighter than you had previously. In his arms. Right where you belong.

Hoseok: (Foot)

J-Hope truly is the light of your life. Even something as simple as taking a walk or cooking together, he always seemed to brighten your day. You two often did the most bonding when you two were dancing. Hoseok is the dancing machine so of course when you excitedly expressed your love for dance too he was extremely ecstatic. Like no joke you guys practiced for hours that day. J-Hope was always happy to teach you the dances of BTS music videos and you were more than happy to learn them. Not only to spend time with your precious sunshine, but to also make your friends extremely jealous when you’d dance to the group’s song with no effort.

Just like any other day, you and Hoseok were in the practice room. Take a wild guess as to why. You guys were in there for a few hours, laughing and goofing off making parody BTS dances. J-Hope really was the best dance teacher. Not only strict but seriously hilarious and fun at the same time. Just as you were about to reach down to grab your water bottle you felt a sharp pain shoot from your left ankle. The sudden wave of pain caught you off guard as you tumbled to the floor. Hoseok, hearing you fall, whipped his head around and saw your face scrunched in pain. Thinking that he pushed you too hard this time he rushed over to you scanning your body.

“Jagi! Are you okay? Where does it hurt?” he asked, anxiously holding you as if you were made of glass.

You winced as you turned your body to sit on your butt and clutched your ankle. “Nothing… it’s just my left ankle…” you hissed. You started to untie your shoelaces when Hoseok immediately stopped you.

“Your ankle? What’s wrong with your ankle? Did you hurt it or something?” he asked, slowly taking off your shoe.

“Umm… yeah. Not today, but don’t worry it’s not a big deal.”

As Hoseok went to remove your socks, he noticed a tattoo along your foot. It was in a completely different language. It was Korean and it sure wasn’t English. It was in beautiful cursive.

“You have a tattoo?”

“Oh, that? Yeah, I got that a long while ago.”

“Really? Cool! What’s it mean? Why’d you get it?” he asked, scanning the tattoo and squeezing your ankle a little tight. You let out another hiss in pain and Hoseok lessened his grip. “I’m sorry! I got too excited! Here. I’ll massage it for you.” Hoseok’s fingers gently kneading into your ankle. You sighed and relaxed against the large dance mirror.

“Thank you, Hobi. And my story behind it isn’t really interesting or long. Up until I was a teenagaer, around 17, I was in ballet and jazz classes. I was pretty good and I won some awards here and there. But my teacher was nothing like you. She was strict, rude, and mean. We’d practice from 6 am to sometimes 2 am, she’d keep on a diet that wouldn’t even be healthy for a domestic pet rabbit, and she would constantly undermine and overblow situations that were often out of my control. Like one time, she made me do the same move 21 times and call me stupid if even one thing was off.”

“Jesus. What was she, a perfectionist?”

“I guess so? But she would go beyond perfectionist sometimes. Even at competitions and dance concerts she’d make a huge fuss about the judges and would actually throw tantrums to hand pick ones herself.”

“Really? Isn’t that unethical? And unfair to the other competitors?”

“Yes, exactly! But she was known as a legend in her time. She was a goddess to a lot of her old dance students, the dance community, and was the best out there. How I even got her to begin with was nothing short of a miracle. Anyway, to make a story short, I was in a competition and I completely destroyed my ankle trying to land my final move. And you know what they say about ankles and hips. After you break them they’ll never be 100% anymore. I had to get surgery and that basically was the end of my ballet and dance career. I still have the stamina but as you saw today it still kinda hurts when I go for too long. You can actually still see my scar. Right here.”

You pointed along your ankle to where your tattoo began. Hoseok traced your finger and saw a faint scar. His face grimaced at the mere thought of you being in pain.

“I’m so sorry baby. That must’ve hurt like hell! I’ve had some injuries, but I can’t imagine breaking an ankle like that.”

“Yeah, it hurt like a bitch. My parents were furious though. When my teacher came to visit me in the hospital they screamed and scolded her in the hallway. Everyone could hear it. According to the doctor, my ankle snapped like a twig because of the diet she put me on. She assured my parents that is was safe and healthy, but the doctor described it as “idiotic” and “dangerous to my health”. He said, “Any sane person with any knowledge on dancing and nutrition would never put a young dancer on a diet like this. It’s inhumane.” After that, I never saw her again. She sent me a card written with an apology with some flowers along with the refunded money my parents asked for since I broke my ankle in the middle of the payment year and that was it. Her studio was empty and no one has seen her since.”

“You’ve never told me that story. Ballet and jazz, huh? Well, it’s true you have to be on a strict but also well-balanced diet to be a dancer in either of those fields so the fact that you broke your ankle because it must mean you were really malnourished. I’m glad your parents got you away from her. She sounds crazy.”

“Yeah, but I also thought that maybe she did those things because that’s how she was taught y’know? Like mentor, like student. She was probably badgered and criticized and put on the same diet. And since she came out a legend, she must’ve thought it would work for all her students. I guess traditional methods stick harder to you when you don’t know the modern ones. Think about how people decades ago were taught to swim. My mom told me that her grandpa took her on a fishing trip and then just threw her in the water shouting “Kick with your feet!” Nowadays, that would look so outdated and abusive if you did that to your kids now.”

Hoseok nodded. “Yeah, I guess you’re right. We can only be so lucky to be born in this time period.” Hobi looked back down at your tattoo. “So, what does it mean? Your tattoo. What language is this?”

“Oh, it says, “danse avec la vie” which means “dance with life” in French. I got this tattoo just to serve as a reminder that I shouldn’t push myself too hard and that if I’m going to dance I’m going to do it of my own volition and most importantly, I’m going to have fun with the person I’m dancing with.”

Hoseok smiled. “That’s beautiful.” he whispered, gingerly kissing your lips. “So, do you think you can put any weight on your ankle or do you need help getting up?”

You rubbed your ankle with a smile. “It’s still kind of tender and sore, but don’t worry I’ll be fine. When I get home I’ll just have to rest and pace myself. This happens from time to time so I’m pretty used to it.”

Hoseok didn’t seem satisfied with your answer and didn’t like that you were so quick to walk on an already damaged ankle. He doesn’t care if this happened years ago or just a few minutes ago. It was his duty as your boyfriend to help you in situations like these. So, he turned around and shot you a cheeky grin.

“Hop on.” he said, patting his back.

You snorted. “You must be joking. I know I said I was on that diet when I was a teenager but there is no way I’m light enough for piggyback rides.”

“Whaaaaaat? You barely weigh anything! And even if you did I’d always carry you no matter what! Plus, I’ve been working out.” he exclaimed, puffing his chest and flexing his arms. “Come on! Let me take care of you.”

You giggled and felt your face flush. “Oh alright! It’s not everyday that the J-Hope offers you a piggyback ride. I’m sure your fans would kill to be in my position right now.” You leaned against Hoseok and wrapped your legs around his waist as he lifted you up with no problems.

“See?! You’re not heavy! Watch this!”

Hoseok took off into a sprint with you bouncing on his back. He let out a squeal trying to contain your giggles as you wrapped your legs and arms around him tighter.

“Hobiiiii!! Slow down!! We’re gonna fall!”

Sounds of laughter can be heard from both of you as Hoseok continued to sprint out his studio and outside. Everything you did with Hoseok always turned out to be a hilarious ride. He always seemed to know how to put a smile on your face!

[ijustpeedalittlebit]

*quietly whoops like a bird*

[a-milky-strawberry]

🦊

[a-milky-strawberry]

hi

hello😊

[buzzfeed]

Everyone Has A Tarot Card That Matches Their Personality — Here's Yours

The cards hold all the answers.

[peachpitgirl]

no sorry I can’t hang out I’m busy feeling nothing and then feeling everything all at once and getting too overwhelmed

[a-milky-strawberry]

SHINee Reaction - When You’re Pregnant

Minho:

The moment you announced your pregnancy he was ecstatic. However, with that happiness came overwhelming protection. Even though you were only 2 months pregnant and could still do a lot, Minho followed you everywhere and handled you like you were an egg.

When you two started dating, the both of you bonded over the same thing: Exercise. A few of your dates even took place at the gym! As unorthodox as it sounded to your friends, it made you two closer.

He thought he didn’t  have to worry so much about the exercise part of your pregnancy until he came home one afternoon and saw you roughly playing soccer with Taemin. The term ‘roughly’ might be exaggerated because you weren’t doing anything dangerous. Just a little hard defense and you skidded only once to score a goal. In any case, Minho was not happy.

“Yah! What’re you doing?!”

Y/N: “Don’t worry! I always play sports with Taemin like this. It’s good exercise for when you’re away.”

His eyes softened and he breathed a sigh of relief. He held you tightly and kissed your sweaty forehead.

“Wait for me next time, okay? We’ll work out together and do something safer.

Key:

He’ll never admit it, but he bawled his eyes out when he found you were pregnant. A sense of joy and pride washed over him when you told him over dinner. A mini sassy, sarcastic, fashionista. That’s what he wanted. Whether your child was a boy or girl, they’d have a fashion sense and a mouth on them. Sometimes you wonder if they’ll be able to behave in school with Key’s attitude and your stubbornness. It would only take a miracle.

While pregnant you’ve noticed your strong craving for sweets has tripled. Normally, you could eat half a pint of ice cream and a bag of candy and be full. Nowadays, you’d be working on your third pint of favorite ice cream and second bag of gummy bears. 

This was a big no-no for Key. 

“YAH! YAH! YAH!”

He came into the living room and saw you eating cookie dough ice cream. He snatched it away from you and you gave him a pout while whining and making grabby hands like a child who got their toy taken away. He sent you a soft glare and huffed.

“You can’t be eating this stuff anymore! It’s not healthy for the baby!”

You pouted and huffed. He knew you could help your cravings, but the face you were making was too cute. He sighed and kissed your lips lovingly.

“I’ll make you something healthy and yummy, arasso?”

Jonghyun:

You actually didn’t tell Jonghyun. He found your positive pregnancy test in the trash and when you came home from work and confirmed, he was jumping for joy. You’d never seen him so smiley. Jonghyun wasn’t nearly as protective as Minho or health conscious like Key. Yes, he wanted you to be healthy for the baby but he was whipped hard when you started showing. Anything you wanted he got for you. Ice cream at 3 a.m.? Sure. Pizza with pineapple, black olives, and jalapeños? Oh hell yeah, baby! Let’s try new things! A specific piece of candy you haven’t eaten since you were five? Sounds yummy! A new BMW? Anything for his baby.

If anything Jonghyun just didn’t want you to move. Needed to do laundry? Nope, sorry. Wash the dishes? Might burn yourself. Cook? Might cut yourself. You’ve told him that he didn’t need to do everything for you and even though you were 6 months pregnant you could still vacuum the house. He always brushed you off saying that queens don’t have to lift a finger. Especially a pregnant queen.

You two were sitting on the couch watching The Lion King when someone knocks on your door. You guys had ordered pizza about 45 minutes ago and you were starving. As you were about to get up, Jonghyun’s hand rested your stomach making you stop. He gave you a warm smile.

“Don’t strain yourself. I’ll get it.”

He got up and grabbed your wallet as you nestled back down into your spot on the couch. He came back a few minutes later with two pizza boxes in his hands.

Y/N: “Y’know, I could’ve got it.”

The door’s too far away. Plus, these pizza boxes are hot. I don’t want you burning yourself.

You playfully roll your eyes and smile. If you had to deal with this until the end of your pregnancy then you were glad it was Jonghyun.

“Now, which one do you want first: bacon, ham, chicken, and green bell peppers with chili paste or kimchi, bulgogi, tomato and horseradish sauce?”

Taemin:

You two actually found out together. He drove you to the hospital because you thought you had food poisoning. Turns out, you were 4 months pregnant! Taemin was silent for a while but erupted into sheer happiness. Jumping all around the doctor’s office and smothering your face in kisses. Nothing could calm him down and who could blame him. The youngest of the his friends and he was going to start a family! 

Taemin immediately jumped on buying clothes and toys for the baby and deciding on furniture and if you were going with a theme. He wants his child to have everything. He also picked up on the little things that bothered you. Like if your feet were hurting or if he heard you in the bathroom with your head in the toilet, he’s always there. 

You were cooking dinner when your back started to ache. You would rub the sore part and it would be fine for a while, but then it would ache again and even more. You didn’t want to bother Taemin with something so minor as a sore back and you’d have to get used to it another 3-4 months, so you tried your best to ignore it.

You felt hands cradled your stomach as Taemin approached you from behind. You jumped a little but relaxed when you saw his smiling features. He kissed your temple and rubbed your belly.

“Let me finish up, okay? You go rest.”

Onew:

There’s a reason why he has a condition named after him. This man is clum-sy! Of course he was grinning ear to ear when you told him you were pregnant, but that didn’t stop him from worrying his head off. What if he accidentally hurt you or your bump? What if he tripped and fell on you? What if he dropped his newborn?! Thoughts and worries clouded his mind over a few days. But, you assured him that he would never do that and it was all in his head. You were 6 months pregnant and he treated you like you were made of glass. He put your shoes on for you. He helped you sit down gently on the couch and helped you stand back up. He always made sure you were standing the farthest away from the sidewalk and would block any cyclist or skateboarders passing by. He even blew on your ramen and fed you.

You didn’t mind any of things he did. You thought it was adorable.

You had recently started taking walks around the city. Not only for exercise, but to clear your mind and it was a great way to calm your baby. Onew had taken notice of your routine and had invited himself on your daily walk.

You take a walk around the neighborhood, city, or the nearest park. You chose to talk a walk in the park just to see nature and not just city living. Plus, it was also a chance to give Onew a break on nearly tackling any cyclist than came your way.

“Are you okay? Do you need to take a break?”

He noticed you two have been walking for a while now. Almost an hour.

Y/N: No, I’m fine. This like 1/5th of my walk. I walk much further than this. It settles the baby down and the quiet helps me think.”

“Jinja?!”

Onew stared at you wide-eyed. 1/5th?! Come to think of it, he did start to notice that you would be gone for a while, but he also assumed that you’d take the car so you wouldn’t have to walk all the way back home. He carressed your belly and kissed your cheek.

“Don’t strain yourself, arasso? Let’s take a ten minute break on that bench over there.”

[a-milky-strawberry]

Chanyeol x Reader - Happy Virus (Angst/Fluff)

You didn’t have the… most amazing childhood. Your childhood wasn’t terrible, at least for the most part. The first ten years of your life were amazing. You had a loving mother, a caring father, two wonderful brothers, and an overwhelmingly big family. You came from a close-knit family. There were no secrets, no rumors. Everyone knew everything about family and our friends. However, there are reasons for why you used the term “had” when it came to telling anyone regarding your family. That includes your ‘Happy Virus’ boyfriend, Park Chan Yeol.

Keep reading

[a-milky-strawberry]

Chanyeol x Reader - Happy Virus (Angst/Fluff)

You didn’t have the… most amazing childhood. Your childhood wasn’t terrible, at least for the most part. The first ten years of your life were amazing. You had a loving mother, a caring father, two wonderful brothers, and an overwhelmingly big family. You came from a close-knit family. There were no secrets, no rumors. Everyone knew everything about family and our friends. However, there are reasons for why you used the term “had” when it came to telling anyone regarding your family. That includes your ‘Happy Virus’ boyfriend, Park Chan Yeol.

When you first met Chanyeol you fell head first in love. No, seriously, as he was walking by you got so distracted by his handsome face that you fell head first into a pond. Chanyeol was nice enough to give you his jacket for warmth while you dried your clothes. After that encounter, you two just seemed to have a lot in common and he still tells that story to anyone within earshot. You two shared everything together.

Well, not everything.

Chanyeol knew a lot about you. He knew your favorite color, ice cream flavors, types of music. He knew all your friends and even your favorite animals (spoiler alert: it’s all of them), tv shows, favorite serial killers, etc. He knew everything. At least he thought he did. Chanyeol didn’t know a single thing about your family. When he thought about it he never met you mom or your dad or even a single cousin. At first, he didn’t think much about it. He was an idol after all. You were probably protecting him from loose lip family members, he thought. But, that never stopped him from being suspicious about your behavior when he brought it.

He would always talk about his family. He’d go on and on about stories from his childhood, stories about his mother, and funny anecdotes about his father. You never got tired of hearing his stories. A bright smile would be plastered on your face the whole time. However, whenever your family was brought up your face would change. It seemed almost stoic with a mix of sadness and anger. Your body language would be closed off and you talked as if you were a bad actor regurgitating a line.

“My childhood was good. Mom, dad, two brothers, y’know. Kind of a big family, I guess. They live far away so I haven’t seen them much since moving here. Do you want to make out?”

That was just one of the many ways you’d get him to lose interest in the topic: food, making out, night markets, arcades, and so on. It worked, but the thought never left his mind.

---------

Chanyeol was exhausted. These seemed to be one of those days where schedules seemed to happen back to back to back. He wanted nothing more than to cuddle you and order takeout. After his final schedule, he hurried straight over to your apartment. He sent you texts stating that he was coming over and you couldn’t be happier. You two couldn’t help it. The both of you were just that cheesy. Not seeing each other for a few hours turns into some type of Rose and Jack scene.

As Chanyeol walked up to your apartment building entrance, he noticed a middle-aged woman looking more than a little lost. She had a small piece of paper in her left hand and a bag in her right. She looked sweaty and exhausted and her shoes looked run down. It was as if she had been walking all day.

“Um… is this it? Oh… why did my phone have to die? I have no idea where I am…”

The woman kept looking at a small piece of paper and your apartment building. Was she looking for someone?

“Um… excuse me ma’am? Are you lost?”

The woman looked up at Chanyeol startled but soon was relieved as she took a big sigh.

“Yes! I’ve been looking around all day for this apartment and I don’t remember the apartment I’m supposed to go to. It’s on my phone but my battery died 2 hours ago! Can you please help me?!” the woman pleaded. She looked pretty desperate and the last thing Chanyeol wanted to do was leave a woman outside this late at night without any forms of communication.

“Sure!” Chanyeol smiled. “I’d be happy to help.”

The woman returned the smile. “Thank you! So much! Such a nice, handsome man.”

Chanyeol let out a chuckle. He was always a hit with older women and grandmothers. You’d often tease him saying that he should be a sugar baby to a grandmother if he didn’t want to be an idol anymore.

Chanyeol took the woman’s piece of paper and quirked his eyebrow. ‘No wonder she couldn’t find this place! This address is smudged and you can barely see the apartment number.’ He looked back up at the woman. “Um… Is there anyone in particular you’re visiting? My girlfriend lives here so they might be looking for the person.” Chanyeol asked already to pull out his phone to text you.

The woman nodded. “Of course. I’m looking for a (Y/N) (L/N). Do you happen to know them?”

Chanyeol almost dropped his phone. Why… would this woman be looking for you? Is she a relative? A friend?

“Uh… yeah, I do. Are you a family friend or something?”

The woman chuckled, but her eyes seemed to dart away at the question. “I’m her aunt.”

As much as Chanyeol didn’t want to seem shocked he couldn’t help but choke on his own spit. Here was your blood relative standing right in front of him. His eyes widened. Didn’t you say that your family lived really, really far away? Well, that would explain how she got lost and the smudged address. But, why didn’t you tell him your aunt was visiting? Better yet, why hadn’t you told him sooner.

“Umm… are you alright?”

The woman brought Chanyeol out of his thoughts and he realized he had been staring.

“Oh, yeah! Ahem! I’m fine! I know them. I can take you right now.”

The woman beamed with happiness. “Oh! Thank you so much!”

Chanyeol led the woman inside the building. They got in the elevator and he pressed your floor number. As the elevator shook with movement, Chanyeol took peaks at your aunt. She looked fairly young but had lines on her face to give out her age. She seemed nervous and fidgeting. Was this woman really your aunt?

“So, uh, are you from out of town? Because of the address and directions?”

Your “aunt” nodded. “Yes. We haven’t seen much of each other since they moved away. In all honesty, I haven’t seen them in decades.”

Chanyeol nodded. That seemed to line up. You had told him that it had been years since you’ve seen anyone from your family that wasn’t your two brothers.

“I bet they’ll be happy to see you. But, why didn’t you ask them to pick you up or give you directions?”

“Oh, um… I wanted it to be a surprise.” she said curtly. Chanyeol nodded and left the conversation alone, getting the feeling that she didn’t want to talk anymore. However, it did explain why you didn’t tell him they were coming. Once the elevator reached your floor, the doors opened and Chanyeol led the “aunt” down a long hallway. Once they reached the door, your “aunt” seemed visibly nervous now.

“Are you okay?” he asked.

Your “aunt” swallowed harshly. “I-I’m just a little jittery… I wonder how they’re going to react…”

Chanyeol put on a brave face. “Well, no time like the present!” He knocked on your door with a familiar rhythm.

“Come in!” he heard you yell.

Chanyeol opened the door and the smell of Chinese takeout made him drool. He always looked forward to the scary movie nights and takeout. Apparently, you were in the mood for Chinese as he saw piles of it on your coffee table as he guided the woman into the living room. You were on your knees, digging your big box of movies searching for something to watch. You were one of the only people he knew who still had a DVD player.

“Great timing! I was having a hard time choosing between Us and Ma-AAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!” You let out a gut-wrenching scream as you laid eyes on your boyfriend… standing right next to your aunt. The air immediately turned tense and cold and Chanyeol could feel a chill rip through his spine. He has never ever heard you scream like that. In all of the scary movie nights and spiders and roaches, that scream you let out gave him goosebumps. As your aunt took a step forward, you fell on your butt trying to scramble away from her. The fear in your eyes was uncanny.

“H-Hi (Y/N)... Look, I don’t want to make trouble but I came here be-” Your aunt was cut short as a vase whipped centimeters away from her head. The ceramic shattered everywhere and Chanyeol didn’t have time to respond as a clay dish also whipped towards you aunt just barely missing her face.

“GET OUT OF MY HOUSE!” you screamed, already arming yourself with another vase and clay dish.

“Please sweetheart! Just listen-!”

Another vase whipped at her.

“DON’T YOU DARE CALL ME ‘SWEETHEART’ AFTER WHAT YOU DID TO MY FAMILY!!”

‘What you did to my family!!’ What did your aunt do?! There was no time for questions as an ashtray you used to hold your jewelry broke on your aunt’s face. Your aunt dropped to the floor as she cradled her face and yelped in pain. The sounds of your panting were the only thing filling the silence in your apartment. Chanyeol just looked on in horror. He didn’t know what to do. Did he check to see if your aunt was okay or did he go and comfort you? His hands were shaking and he could barely breathe. Just what the hell was going on here?!

“I… I deserved that…” your aunt whispered as she wobbled trying to get on her feet.

“You deserved to have your skin peeled off with a rusty, ancient potato peeler and have all of your orifices sewn with piano wire while a mix of salt and lime juice embalms your entire body.” you snarled. Another chill rips through Chanyeol’s spine. Your voice laced with pure hatred and he has never seen you this angry. It was like you were a whole different person.

“Please… 귀여운… please just listen… I didn’t come here to fight you. I came here… to ask for your forgiveness…”

You scoffed. “Forgiveness? Forgiveness?! After everything you’ve done?! And you dragged my boyfriend in the middle of all of this!!” you pointed at Chanyeol who stood like a statue.

“I didn’t mean to! He said he knew you… and I came all this way… just to find you…”

“Well, you wasted your time! Because I don’t want to see you! Not only did you ruin my life, you ruined everyone’s life! The family, the relationship between me and my dad, and your own sister!! My mother!! She-!” Your words caught in your throat as tears streamed down your face. “I’m not discussing this in front of Chanyeol… Go home (Y/A/N)...”

“Please 귀여운!! I came all this way! I looked for you all day! I came here to give you news about your dad! And I really wanted to see you…”

You stood quiet as she went on. “No one has seen you in years… You’re the only one who doesn’t keep in contact with the family. Your brothers still keep in touch-”

“That was their choice. The moment I left was when I decided I had no family.”

“(Y/N) please…”

“You and that bastard are nothing to me. That whole family is nothing to me! That whole family knew what was going on but were too fucking cowards to have the decency to tell my mother what was going on!!”

“(Y/N)... there’s still so much that you don’t know… If you had stayed and hadn’t pushed us away you would know the full story.”

“LISTEN TO WHAT?! The excuses?! The tears?! The cries?! What “story” is there to tell?! The story about how you're selfish?! And spoiled?! And how you couldn’t just let my mother be happy even if you weren’t?! So you played with my father the same way a child plays with their other siblings' toys when that sibling gets news ones?!”

Your aunt turned silent as she looked down at the ground. Tears were flowing through her eyes too.

“Or are you going to tell him how you two were so in love that you couldn’t recognize what was wrong? Forgiveness is the last thing I want from you. I don’t want your forgiveness. I don’t want your hugs, no sweethearts, not even a damn handshake from you. Because of you… my mother is dead.”

The air dropped 20 degrees lower and Chanyeol could hear you choking back painful sobs.

“Killed by your selfishness… Can your forgiveness bring my mother back? Can your forgiveness bring back all the heartache and crying and trauma that I had to go through finding her body that morning? Can your forgiveness bring back all the years I slept on the streets, begging and crying in the alley alone, when I ran away from home because you and that bastard immediately put me and my brothers in boarding schools after my mother’s funeral?”

Your aunt said nothing more. You blinked the tears out of your eyes and turned around. “I would like for you to leave my house.”

“(Y/N)-”

“I’m afraid I don’t know you ma’am. Please leave my home before my boyfriend calls the police.”

You aunt looked over Chanyeol as they made eye contact. Her eyes were red and her face wet with tears. She gave him a sorrowful look as if to say she was sorry for having to witness this distratious reunion. She slowly picked herself up and placed her bag on the coffee table. She looked at Chanyeol once more and then the bag. Her eyes told him that whatever was in that bag was why she made the journey all the way here and was leaving with a gash in her cheek. As your aunt made her way to the door, you spoke up again.

“(Y/A/N)?”

She turned her head and looked at the corridor that led to your living room. You were standing between that entrance with a cold, tearful look.

“I don’t know how you got here. I’m 10000000% certain that it was none of my brothers, but I will tell you this. If you tell that bastard where I live or anyone else for that matter or get anyone else to come here, I’ll call my brothers and tell them what happened. They’ll cut you off with no hesitation… and then, you’ll be left with no one.”

A painful sob left your aunt’s throat as she nodded and scrambled to get the door open.

“귀여운… my sweetheart… I am so so sorry…”

The door softly shut and you aunt was gone. You slowly walked towards the door, locked it and pressed your forehead on the cold door.

Chanyeol had finally gotten up and was staring at your back, a few tears in his eye as well. He approached you slowly as not to stress you out.

“(Y/N)...?” he whispered. “Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.” you stated curtly. Oh, but you were far from okay. As much as you were angry and upset, you were more so embarrassed that this happened in front of Chanyeol, the love of your life. You wanted to have a relationship with this man. He was one of the few that you actually trusted, just not to the degree. You always knew you’d have to tell him one way or another. Just not like this… How were you going to be normal knowing that Chanyeol knows everything. He’s not an idiot. All the clues were there and based on your reaction he knew this was serious shit he just witnessed.

“I’m sorry-”

“Can I give you a hug?” he asked gently. You turned around and were faced with your gentle faced boyfriend with his arms out already out. You looked in his eyes. They were shiny from tears and you knew rejecting his hug would only make him feel worse. You didn’t give an answer as you willfully ran into his arms and sobbed into his chest. Chanyeol patted your back and smooth your hair, shushing you and whispering gentle words like: “You’re okay. Everything’s okay.” “You’re safe now.” “Whenever you’re ready.” After a while your sobs turned into small sniffles.

“I-I’m so s-sorry you had to see that… I w-w-was gonna tell you s-s-s-soon b-b-b-but…” you stuttered trying to get your words in order.

“Shh… it’s okay… Take a deep breath…”

“I-I was so s-scared that you would leave me!!!”

Chanyeol felt his stomach drop. He would never leave you. Especially since he’s gotten a snippet of what you’ve got through.

“I would never leave you Jagiya…” he assured, giving you a tight squeeze. “We’re in this together now, araso? Your worries are now my worries. When you want to talk about it and explain your story I will always be here to lend you my Yoda ears.”

You let out a soft giggle.

“My ears can pick up anything. I can even hear your thoughts! You’re thinking: ‘How did I get so lucky with such a handsome, generous, man with a ten-pack and great hair.’

You laughed as you pulled away and looked into his eyes. “Close. More along the lines of ‘dorky’ and ‘nine-pack’.”

Chanyeol let out a dramatic gasp and threw his head back. “Are you saying my abs are uneven?! I’ll have you know I count my abs everyday in the shower, just like I count my bread!”

“Pfft-! You count your bread?! Who the hell does that?!”

“Um! Every good-looking rapper with a ten-pack, great hair, handsome face, and who’s Jagiya keeps making peanut butter jelly and honey sandwiches at 3 a.m.”

“Oh my gosh! You’re such a weirdo!” you laughed, holding your stomach with now a new set of tears running down your face. A happy set of tears. As your laughter died down you took Chanyeol’s hand and gave him a gentle almost pleading look.

“Promise you’ll wait?” you asked.

He smiled gently and stroked your cheek. “I’ll wait forever if that means I get to see you smiling everyday.”

You leaned into his cheek and smiled. “Thank you.” You gave his palm a kiss and led him into the living room. You noticed the bag on the coffee table. “What’s this?”

“I don’t know. Your aunt had it with her. It seemed like she wanted you to open it.”

You stared at the bag not knowing what to do. A million thoughts rushed through your mind before Chanyeol’s voice snapped you out of thought.

“Do you want to throw it away?” he asked gently. “Her being here made you really upset and I wouldn’t want you to open the bag if you don’t want to.”

You thought for a while before sighing. “Can you… put it in my closet? I’ll open it someday. Just not to today.”

Chanyeol gave a quick ‘of course’ before giving you a peck on the head and putting the bag in your closet. You’d definitely want to be in the right mindset before seeing what was in that bag. Chanyeol came back and saw you looking at the piles of Chinese food and giving a big sigh. “Well, this food is definitely cold now. Plus, there's glass everywhere…” you grumbled looking at the shattered pieces of once was a vase, two clay dishes, and an ashtray.

“Let’s heat these up and clean up this mess. Then we can start our scary movie night. I still need you to help me pick between Us and Ma.”

“Of course Yeobo! But first, you need to work on your target practice because you missed.”

You tilted your head in confusion. “Missed what?”

Chanyeol pointed to his lips with an adorable pout. “My lips aren’t on my palm~! You really need to work on your aim.”

You giggled as you stood on your tip toes and gave him a quick kiss.

“And just a few more.” he said before smothering your entire face in kisses. Your laughter filled the apartment once again as you both fell on the couch in a kissing frenzy.

“W-Wait! Chanyeol!”

“Not so fast! You need to pay your fees!”

“What fees?”

“What if I get glass in my foot? And what if I bite into a cold noodle because of the microwave? You need to pay for all precautions!”

“Chanyeol!!”

This was why you love this man. He could turn your pain and sobs into laughter. He could make a bad day seem like nothing more than a grain of sand in the ocean. He always made you feel loved and happy. I guess that’s why he isn’t nicknamed the ‘Happy Virus’ for nothing.

hey guys. sorry i haven’t been active recently. college has been kicking my ass even though WE HAVE REMOTE CLASSES >:( anyway. i’ll try to update as much as i can and for those wondering if i’m going to be continuing the suga x reader - cold series, i am! also, look out for some reactions coming soon! later!

[cottoncanyon-deactivated2018012]

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $599.99

[sailed-0ut]

Please don’t hesitate

[imhellafit-personal-deactivated]

1 penny below reporting limit for the IRS… I see what you did there

[shysweetthing]

(Don’t give me $599.99)

That’s not the right IRS rule.

$599.99 is the amount below which a business does not need to issue a 1099 to a contractor who provides business services. The contractor still needs to report the income on their taxes.

The correct number for the IRS rule for money that is gifted rather than received in a business transaction is $13999.99–more than that, and the recipient has to pay tax on the gift and report it to the IRS. Less than that, and there’s no taxation or reporting requirement.

If we’re choosing amounts on the basis of IRS limits, give these people $13,999.99. 

Go. Do it.

[capriciousarsonist]

Reblog if it’s ok for people to give you $13,999.99

[mystericmoon]

gonna tell my kids this is Santa Claus

[commodorecliche]

me: why is my fic not done already

my piece of shit rational brain: you gotta like… write it bro

me:

[minsbutt]

4 / ?? gifs of yoongi

[theodoredimas]

Me, realizing I have to actually write my own stories instead of them just magically writing themselves:

[narniacloud]

Respect

[kook-jk]

Yoongi looking a king and saying fUck you with a raspy voice MUST be a kink.

cr:@sweaterpawsjimin

[veryuniquenamegoeshere]

I may have already shared this. But I will share this EVERY time it passes my feed for LEGIT ADULT REASONS

[feed-my-geek-soul]

I mean….how can you NOT reblog this…

[a-milky-strawberry]

Suga x Reader - Cold (2) (Angst/Slight Fluff)

It’s been years since you were discharged from the hospital. The doctor had put you in a therapy program. You were required to meet with a man 3 times a week to discuss your “condition”.Due to the fact you didn’t go to half of them, you now had to have the sessions in your own personal home. Whoopee! At the time your parents were so anxious and frustrated over you that you felt you couldn’t even take a shit without them trying to break down the bathroom door. The last straw was when they told you (not asked you, told you) that they were going to take the hinges off of every door in the house, not including the front or back door. Yep, that meant the bathroom, your room, their room, closets, etc.. You moved out 2 days later. You had found a nice, small apartment that was cheap to the point of being suspicious. There was no kitchen, 1 bathroom, and your living area and bedroom were connected. The only thing you had remotely close to a kitchen was a mini fridge and a hot plate. It was kinda like a studio only smaller.

You weren’t going to do anything stupid with moving out and plus you hadn’t done much of anything since you got discharged. In fact, you had taken temporary leave from school and they understood once word got around about your accident. However, the pity in their eyes made you wanna vomit. You didn’t need their pity, their “how are you feeling today”’s, or the burdensome help. You just wanted to be left the hell alone. Was that really too much to ask? With the money you were saving for grad school you instead used it to get said tiny studio in Jeonju. The tenants were primarily old people but they were nice and it was always quiet. Sometimes you’d joke to yourself if you accidentally rented in a retirement home.

Today the weather was nice and sunny but due to your blackout curtains you could hardly tell. If it weren’t for the small gaps on the side shining a bit of natural light you’d think you lived in eternal darkness. Besides, the T.V. provided enough light for you as you laid on the cool wood floor. You weren’t watching anything in particular, just surfing the channels for anything interesting. A familiar song bombarded your ears and you tune into the screen.

BTS.

If you could’ve rolled your eyes any harder they’d get stuck staring at your brain.

It wasn’t that you despised them now. In fact, you were still on good terms with them. Well, except for that piece of shit moron Suga. You clicked your tongue as that name entered your head as his face shown on your screen. You spit on the name Min Yoongi. Being that you had an extreme allergic reaction to him caused you to miss out on some good songs and concerts. Though you didn;t really care because--

*K-Chlick*

You groaned thinking you had jinxed yourself as your heard your front door being unlocked by a certain spare key.

“HEY!! WAKEY-WAKEY BEST FRIEND!!” 

Oh no. Please no.

“WOW! IT’S SUPER DARK IN HERE!”

Your curtains flew upon letting in the blinding rays of death. You curled up in a ball and let of a harsh hiss as you were temporarily blinded.

“THERE! NOW IT’S ALMOST AS BRIGHT AS ME!!”

Sigh. You jinxed it.

J-Hope. Jung Hoseok. Sunshine. Your Hope, Hobi.

Now, you hadn’t given him a spare key specifically. You had given it to Jungkook, your still best friend. He gives it to one of the members in rotation when he doesn’t have enough time to check on you. But now, you have almost every member busting through your day everyday even without warning. However, none of the guys are as loud as J-Hope, but what did you expect?

You felt as if someone was staring at you and it had gotten way too quiet. You peeked open your eyes and saw a smiling Hobi with the sun rays in the background like he was some goddamn angel.

“Hey best friend! Didya miss me? Huh? Huh?! Didya?!”

“As much as I hate to admit it, your presence is very… overpowering.” You sighed.

He dramatically gasped and clutched his heart. “Did I just hear a compliment that wasn’t bitter or sarcastic? Am I dreaming?!”

You groaned at his theatrics. “Don’t push it.”

You then felt some strong back pats and rubs. “Okay, okay. Anyway, I brought you lunch.”

You uncurled and sat up to see a large fast food bag and the smell of salty fries and processed cheese with sweaty meat.

“Lemme guess… McDonald’s? Cheeseburger, medium fries, and a Sprite.”

This man had the nerve to look shocked at your obvious guess. “H-How’d you know?”

“You bring me the same thing every time you come over, Hoseok. At least be original and bring me like a Fillet Fish or something.”

Hoseok chuckled embarrassed and scratched the back of his neck. “Yeah, I guess you’re right.”

You turned your attention back to your T.V. and changed the channel to a random sitcom that played. “You can have it. I’m not hungry.”

Hoseok frowned. “Are you not eating again?”

You rolled your eyes. “First off, just because I was lazy not to walk alllll the way to the kitchen at my parent’s house doesn’t mean I was unintentionally not eating. Second off, no dummy, I just went out last night and picked up some street food. I had some leftover this morning too, so I’m not all that hungry.”

You side-eyed the greasy food on the floor. “Plus, if I eat another McDonald’s cheeseburger again I’m gonna be sick.”

Hoseok laughed. “Fair enough.” He gathered the fast food bag and put it in your fridge for “that special midnight craving”.

As he was heading towards the door, he stopped and looked back.

“Hey, ummm… (Y/N)?”

“Uh-huh?” I answered still watching the sitcom.

“There’s gonna be a concert tomorrow night. And I was wondering… if you wanted to come this time.”

Here we go again. Anytime the guys would visit they would try to convince you to get out of the house to go to either their concerts, after parties, movie nights, and it didn’t matter where you were, on the toilet, in the shower, night outs, lunch, dinner, brunch, you name it. A tiny part of you wants to go, like it’s still clings to who you once were. But, the rest of you doesn’t want to exist socially and you feel like if you see Suga nothing’s gonna stop your fists from colliding on his cheek.

“Probably not--”

“Please (Y/N). I’m begging you.” He was now fully turned towards you and on his knees. “We haven’t been able to be all together or see you as much since you moved out from your parents and we miss you.”

You stayed silent.

“Everyone is so worried about you. Even Bang PD-nim. Everyone misses you and they want to see how you’re doing. Please (Y/N).”

You felt this weird pain in your chest. Almost like your heart was clenching tight at his plea. Why did you feel pain over this?

“I didn’t ask for ANYONE to be worried about me. I’m FINE!” you snapped. You didn’t mean to snap at him or was it that you didn’t mean to be defensive?  Why were you getting so in a knot over this? Just tell him no like you have multiple times. Or was this feeling because you wanted to go? It’s now making your head hurt over how stupidly convoluted your overthinking was.

Hoseok sighed. “If you won’t come for us, then please visit Yeontan.”

Yeontan? V’s puppy?

“I know you saw on Twitter that he got a puppy. Don’t you want Yeontan to meet his auntie?”

Well,... you had been wanting to meet that fluff ball too and the pictures you saw on Twitter made you have a case of FOMO big time. He was the only one that made a small smile appear on your lips and a twinge of happiness in your heart.

You sighed. “Maybe.” you mumbled as you closed your blackout curtains back.

Hoseok was silent for a while before heavy stomps made their way towards you and you were lifted off the ground. “FOR REAL?! OH THANK YOU (Y/N)!!” he screamed as he lunged forward and picked you up in celebration. “YOU WON’T REGRET THIS IS SWEAR!”

“Put. Me. Down. You. ANIMAL!” you yelped. “I’m getting nauseous!”

Hoseok put you down and ran towards the door. “Just wait until I tell the guys about this! They’re gonna be sooo psyched!”

“Dumbass! I said--” the door slammed closed with Hoseok already gone “maybe…”

You clicked your tongue at his brashness. You never fully agreed to go. He was blowing this whole thing out of proportion. Besides, how’d he even think you were going to get it? The concert is tomorrow night. If there is a ticket out there it probably costs an arm and a leg to get it. And that’s not counting if it’s also fake. You groaned in frustration and fell to the floor already tired of the day’s events. You felt your eyelids grow heavy and decided on a cat nap. You crawled over to your mattress and pushed it closer to the T.V. You laid on top and wrapped yourself in a warm weighted blanket and snuggled into your pillow. Before you knew it, you were fast asleep.

---

It was the night of the concert and you were staring at the ceiling in the dark. Why was yesterday’s talk with Hoseok bothering you so much? You hadn’t stopped thinking about it since he left and it was honestly giving you a headache.

*Grooowl*

Your stomach cut through the silence. You lazily crawled over to the fridge and winced at the bright light and shivered from the cool air. There wasn’t much, except the greasy bag of McDonald’s Hoseok had given you yesterday. Sighing, and praying that you don’t get an upset stomach, you took the bag and opened it.

You pulled out some fries and them being illuminated by the fridge light was a ticket and a backstage pass sticking out of it. You automatically groaned and took them both out. What also caught your eye was on the fries bag was written: ‘PLEASE!’ You pulled out the chicken nuggets: ‘PLEASE!’ The cheeseburger: ‘PLEASE! PLEASE! PLEASE!’

Your eye twitched in annoyance. He really was trying here. You looked back at the ticket and then at your phone.

“The concert’s already started… Is there any point in going anymore? Plus, I didn’t even promise that I would even go…”

You looked back at the pleading food and remembered Hoseok’s face when he collapsed on his hands and knees. And even when you told him ‘maybe’ he looked so happy. He would want me to go for even a little while, right? You sighed, got up on your feet, and walked over to your closet.

“Where’d I put that hoodie?”

---

You were now standing outside the stadium already regretting your choices of being outside. You had drove nearly 3 hours from home to this concert and you were already having second thoughts. You suddenly had a stomach-churning flashback as you remembered what they’re concerts are like. It’s hot and loud and sweaty and full of screams; both fanboys and fangirls. You shivered and shrugged it off. You were more than late to the concert. You already knew how this would plan out. They’d tell you it was too late, you’d text Hoseok saying you were late and couldn’t get it, and that you would be the end of it. You’d go back to your bed where things were nice and quiet. At least, that’s what you thought…

“Oh, Miss (Y/N)! You finally arrived! I thought you were having second thoughts!”

A perky woman in the ticket booth greeted you happily and took your ticket. How did she--

“How do you know my name?”

“Oh! From BTS, of course. They told me you’d be arriving and gave me a picture as reference. Though, I must admit you do look a little different. But anyways, they told me to let you in no matter what!”

You internally screamed. Of course. That loud mouth J-Hope must’ve gone and run his mouth to every and anyone. Idiot. What if I hadn’t shown up or threw out that McDonald’s? Wait… does that mean he knows I’m--

“Here you are! Enjoy the show!” the woman said giving me back the ticket stub.

I muttered a thanks and went in. You were more towards the front and that meant you’d be pushed and shoved by the mosh of fangirls. Before opening the concert door, you took a deep breath. You could already hear the soft roar of the fans. Maybe they’ll be singing Heartbeat and it’ll be calm when you walk in.

You opened the door and your ears were immediately assaulted with the unholiest of screeches. They weren’t singing Heartbeat. You slammed closed the door and tried to steady your already hyperventilating breathing. God! Were these concerts always this loud?! How were you not deaf?! Okay, okay, okay… this won’t be that bad. Just go in, stay for about 30 minutes, take a picture, send it to the guys, and get the hell out of here. You breathed in once more ready for the game plan and opened the door once more.

You walked down the stairs and found your row. Being meek and polite, you made your way through the horde and found your spot. You looked up at the bright lights that displayed the dancing group. They were singing Dionysus and of course they were giving it 110% almost matching the same volume as the fans. ‘This song… ah… from the new album…’  You tried your best to endure the loud volume and you bobbed your head to the lyrics. Even if your worst enemy was up there, you should at least enjoy the music. The next song to play was HOME which was your favorite because it was nice and slow. The vocals on Jimin, V, and Namjoon were so beautifully woven that you couldn’t help but sway. You looked at Jimin as he sang. ‘Ah… how cute… oh! I should take a picture…’ You took out your phone and as soon as you were going to press the button someone slammed you from behind causing you to drop it. ‘Shit!’ Not worrying about who pushed you, you bent down and started looking. You were getting glares and whispered comments about your situation during such an emotional and beautiful song. You ignored them and kept looking. It was too dark and you could barely see anything apart from the soft glow of the Army Bombs and shoes.

“Excuse me?” said a male voice.

You looked up to see a nice looking boy holding something. “Are you looking for this?” It was your phone! You quickly stood up and nodded. As he handed you the phone he gave you a wink and a chuckle. “I drop my phone sometimes at so many concerts I’d hate for it to happen to someone else. Hold it tight, kay cutie?”

You felt your face go red and I bowed a quick thanks as you went back to your spot. No way… Did that guy just make you… blush?! You shook your head and went back to the task at hand, taking the picture. As you raised your phone up, you saw that Jimin was making a passionate face. Smirking, you took a pic. ‘I bet if I post this…. That’ll be hilarious!’

As the concert came to an end you had a feeling of slight sadness. You had enjoyed the new songs and the silly antics they did. You also saw how dedicated they had become and how grown and strong they looked. Maybe Jungkook was right. It wouldn’t hurt to pop in every now and again. The stadium was clearing out and you sighed and looked at your backstage pass. Then, you had a question that should’ve been asked before coming: Since when did BTS start doing backstage passes? Where would you even go? As you walked up to the silver gate that protected the security and BTS, a security guard walked up to you.

“Miss (Y/N)?” he asked.

Of course it had something to do with J-Hope. “Let me guess. BTS told you about me?”

He nodded and held out his hand. You gave him the pass and he nodded again. “Please follow me.” You took his hand and he helped you over the gate. Some leftover fans stared in disbelief at the fact you were personally being escorted backstage. Walking back there gave you a since nostalgia. Meeting the guys after the concert, congratulating them, going out to eat as celebration and relaxation. Your heart twinged at the memories, but you tried to shrug it off. You were going to see them after a long time. This is a happy thing, right? Happiness…

“We’re here.” spoke the security guard as he opened the door to the green room. The guys weren’t there yet. “You can wait here.”

I said a polite thank you and walked around the room. It was so much bigger. Your boys were getting so popular… Well, they deserved it. As you looked around the room, a cage caught your eye. Curious, you bent down and looked inside. “Yeontan?” The dog seemed to recognize its name and lifted its head. You opened the cage and Yeontan walked up to you, sniffing. You picked up the tiny fluff ball in awe and held it close to your face. “Aww!” you screamed. “Aren’t you just about the cutest thing ever! Who's a good boy?!”

Your words got Yeontan hyped up and he started licking your face. You smiled brightly at the cutie. This was so much better than looking at his pictures on Twitter. “You’re a good boy! Yes, you are! You look like a tiny chocolate chip cookie! I could just eat you up but I wouldn’t because you’d be too sweet!”

“(Y/N)?” called a voice. You looked towards the door and saw all the members staring. All of them. You felt nervous and your stomach started churning again. It’s been years since you’d seen them all together. You normally saw them one at a time, but that didn’t mean you saw them everyday. You had seen one member every few months if you were lucky. They looked tired and Jungkook looked more like an adult. Those pictures on Twitter don’t do him justice. What would you even say to them? What do you say in a situation like this?

“Didja miss me?” Smooth (Y/N), real smooth.

Suddenly, all at once, the members group hugged you and started talking over each other.

“See I told you she’d come--”

“Of course we missed you idiot--”

“You’ve missed so much--”

“We’ve miss you so much--”

“Have you been eating?”

“You look sooo skinny--”

“You playing with Yeontan was sooooo cuuuuuttteeeee--”

You pushed back from the group hug and grinned. “Yeah, yeah… I missed you guys too. You look so mature now.”

“How was the concert?! Didja like it?! Didja love it?! Oh who am I kidding? Of course, you loved it! You wouldn’t be here if you didn’t love it! Didja like our songs?!” Jungkook rattled off a hundred words a minute.

“Jungkook, calm down. You’re going too fast for her to answer.” said Namjoon. “Did you enjoy the concert (Y/N)? We wanted you to be comfortable but thought putting you in VIP would make you irritated.”

“Well, I only caught the middle of Mikrokosmos and to be honest,” you said as they got nervous, “HOME is now officially my new favorite song.”

“Really? You liked it?”Namjoon asked. You nodded. “My favorite vocals were Jimin, V, and you, Namjoon.”

As the guys talked amongst themselves, you glanced a saw a lone figure standing far from the group. Your grin turned sour as you two made eye contact. “H-Hey (Y/N).” The group turned to see your reaction. You turned your attention back to Yeontan still in your arms and looked at V. 

“V, where’d you find this cutie? He’s so adorable!”

Deciding not to make the situation awkward, he answered. “Oh, I got him back in 2017. He is adorable huh?”

“Um… (Y/N)-”

“Where do you find time to take care of him? Ooh! Does he tour with you guys? Like a secret member or something?”

“(Y/N)-”

“Hehe, unfortunately no. He lives with my parents for now because of my busy schedule.”

“Ah, I see. I did see that on Twitter. He lived with you guys at first right?”

V nodded. “Yeah, but when J-Hope told us you’d come to the concert I thought you might want to meet him.”

You smiled and snuggled into Yeontan’s fur. “Well, I’m glad I came. And if you ever need a babysitter for this cutie--”

“You don’t mind?”

“Of course not! From now on, he’s family. Plus, it might liven up my room to have a cute puppy in there before getting one of my own.”

“You’re thinking of getting a puppy?” asked Jimin.

You smiled. “Maybe.”

“You know,” spoke Namjoon, “it’s been forever since I’ve seen that smile.”

You felt your face. You were smiling. Why now? You looked down at Yeontan.

“My dog is magic!!” V shouted, hugging you.

You brushed him off and grinned. “Yeah, maybe he is…”

---

You stayed for a few minutes and talked and played with Yeontan all while avoiding a certain someone. You put Yeontan down and stood up.

“Well, I better get going. It’s pretty late…”

Jungkook shot up. “So soon?”

You nodded. “I’ve done a lot today and I forgot how much a concert takes out of me. I forgot how loud and rowdy they were. I’m exhausted.”

You yawned as you were saying goodbye Jimin caught your hand. “You’ll visit, right? I mean, will you be coming back anymore?”

Then Jungkook grabbed your other hand. “J-Hope hyung told us that maybe you’d open back up and hang out with us and eat dinner with us like you used to? Are you going back to avoiding us? Avoiding me?”

You felt a break in your heart. All those times they invited you out over the years you saw as a burden and troublesome for the awkward tension between you and Min Yoongi. When it fact, you had hurt them. You had moved 2 hours away from them. They wanted you and you were too selfish to even consider that you should just ignore the hatred in your heart for Min Yoongi. 

“Well,” you said softly, “being here brought back a lot of memories. Some good, some bad. Listening to your music again, seeing your passionate faces, watching you guys have fun were one of the many enjoyments I had at your concerts. So…”

You let out a sigh and squeezed Jimin and Jungkook’s hand. “I can’t promise I’ll begin saying yes to outings. My anxiety has gotten really bad over the years and like I said, being here brought some bad memories. I also live far away. But… I would like to be here for you guys again…!”

The members consumed you in a group hug and you left saying goodbye to all but one.

---

As you walked down the street, away from the concert you felt a little happy. ‘Maybe the reason I didn’t want to go out was because of my anxiety. Maybe  should’ve stayed with that therapist. I think I still have their number somewhere. Maybe I should give them a call for more meetings. No. I will call them. First thing in the morning.’

As you were having these thoughts, you had the feeling you were being watched. You glanced back and didn’t see anyone. ‘I really should head home. There are always creeps at this time of night.’ As you sped up the sound of shoes speeding up caught your attention. ‘It’s just your imagination. Just the dark playing tricks. There’s no one there.’ You glanced back but this time you saw a shadowy figure following right behind. Following your instincts, you immediately booked it. The person had the same idea and ran after you. Breathing heavy and the sound of harsh footsteps sent fear through you. Why?! Why was this person following you?! No-- chasing you?! A sasaeng fan?! The thought sent you running faster. As you made it towards a more populated area with cars, you glanced back. All of of sudden honking. A car’s headlights. You froze.

Suddenly, you pulled back onto the sidewalk as the car zoomed by. You whipped your head back to see Min Yoongi, panting and sweating.

“IDIOT! WHY DID YOU JUST STAND THERE?! DID YOU WANT TO GET HIT AGAIN?!” he shouted.

“IDIOT?! ME?! I WAS RUNNING TO GET AWAY AND I DIDN’T HAVE TIME TO--”

Wait. Panting. Sweating. Stage clothes still on. Hat and face mask sloppily thrown on.

“WHERE YOU FOLLOWING ME?! WHERE YOU THE ONE CHASING ME?!”

He went silent. 

“Oh my god! You fucking stalker!”

“I’m not a stalker!”

“Oh really?! Let’s assess the situation. It’s nighttime and extremely dark. The only source of light from the stadium to the this main street is a bunch of street lights. Oh! And when I started running, the first thing out of your mouth wasn’t, “Hey (Y/N)!”. It was to run after me like some deranged psycho! Did I also mention IT’S NIGHTTIME! I bunch of fucking weirdos walk around and you expect me to know it was you!”

Your rant made Min Yoongi’s eyes widen and a few onlookers were staring as they passed by. “I-I didn’t think about that…”

You scoffed. “Oh, just like how you weren’t thinking when you told me to disappear and I got hit by that fucking truck? Or when you had the gall to show to the hospital and proclaim your love for me after all you said to my face?!”

He winced. “I said I was sorry--”

“Sorry doesn’t mean shit when your family thinks you should be on some kind of list and your best friends think that for the past 2 years they were the problem and that I was avoiding them! Don’t you realize what you’ve done?!”

You couldn’t stop them from coming. You had tried avoiding this and still the tears you swore to never show had reared its ugly head. 

“D-Don’t you realize what your coldness has done to me…?” you hiccuped and sniffled. “I rarely go outside because I was afraid-- I am afraid that someone is going to hurt me and look down on me the same way you did! And then you have the nerve to save me this time, how dare you! How DARE YOU, MIN YOONGI! WHERE WERE YOU THE FIRST TIME!!”

The street grew quiet. Onlookers were now fully staring and little crowd had gathered. Whispering, pointing, gasping. 

“You know… for the first time in years since my accident, I actually had fun today. I heard beautiful music, I got to see my closest friends, and I even smiled.”

You looked him in the eye. “Do you know how long it’s been since I’ve smiled?”

He didn’t answer.

“A really, really, really, really, long time.”

“(Y/N), I--”

“Save it, okay. I’ve spent way too long hating myself and hating everything because of you. Because of your coldness. I thought that if I behaved as cold as you, nothing would get too close to my heart and I wouldn’t be hurt anymore.”

“(Y/N), please--”

“But after seeing the pain of my friends faces, I’m done being cold. I’m done obsessing over my hatred over you. You’ve eaten up so much of my life before and even after my incident that I need to move on. I guess I never truly moved on, even after all that’s happened. I need to get my life back on track. I need to mend some fences that my coldness have frozen.”

You sighed and wiped your tears. “I’m done with you. Goodbye.”

You walked past the small crowd and made way home. You felt lighter. Better. All those emotions that you shoved and locked deep down came out and you couldn’t help but feel better. You’ve felt so many emotions today. Maybe you can feel something. Maybe it just took one emotion to overpower the others. Hatred. Sadness. Heartbroken. You remember the day of the incident. You felt such sadness and hatred that you didn’t want your tears to flow. Well, now they did. Maybe this is a good thing.

No-- this is a good thing.

- - - 

holy shit. has it really been 2 years since the first one. okay! so! I know promised you guys like months ago that this shit would be out by the weekend but college has been absolutely kicking my ass. like holy shit. tbh i didn’t even think you guys liked the first one. but after seeing that people wanted a sequel here you go! i’m sorry that it’s so goddamn long. it’s been a while since i had to write about something else that wasn’t an essay. anyways, here you guys are! i think i might turn this scenario into a multi-part series, who knows. i will try to upload more consistent and give you guys more kpop scenarios and i might start doing reactions too. my ask box is open if you guys have any suggestions. later noonas and oppas. peace out!