Rowan | He/They/It | Non-binary | Pan + Ace | DID + Autism + Selective Mutism + Tourette Syndrome | Adult | I like a variety of things that I draw + write | Ask me about headcanon stuff | I’ll write requests within reason
Don’t rush me, I write/post things at my own pace! Hey, anyone who happens to be here! I’m Rowan (he/they/it) , some creature who found their way to this app. I tend to hyperfixate on things for extended periods of time. I find myself more focused on specific characters sometimes as opposed to the entire creation (be it a book, game, show, movie, etc.). I primarily do writing, on the rare occasion you may see a drawing. I have so many headcanons that’ll die with me unless asked about them, so feel free to ask about that, or share yours with me! Be kind, any hate will be deleted!
Find me on Bluesky where I post almost the exact same stuff
He/They/It | Panromantic & Asexual | What’s your opinion on taxidermy?
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An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works
I was always expected to lead prayer as a family. I’d lead prayer before dinner, before bed, etc. because I was the one with the strongest link to God, seeing as I was viewed as a prophet. There was this one time when I was little, where I was just really hungry, so I reached for the food without thinking, and my grandfather stabbed me in the hand before I could even register what happened.
I don’t know you personally and I don’t want to overstep as a mutual but I want to tell you that I’m proud of you, which could sound corny, parasocial, or maybe even pitying, but I don’t mean to be any of those things.
I thought that you were strong just from seeing how you handled the cruelty people online dished out to you- and that you took it very well and showed maturity and growth from it.
When you started to share about your past, the fact that you’re a strong person had only been reinforced.
I can’t lie or act like I understand those struggles as I’ve not gone through them- but I do understand that it takes someone with immense strength and will to persevere through them.
It may seem odd, but I wanted to let you know.
You don’t have to respond or anything, but I just thought it would be a nice thing for you to hear, that someone out there is proud of you .
🫶
Also I’m sorry if this is not very cohesive or eloquent. I also do not mean to over step.
You’re not overstepping, don’t worry, and I really appreciate this. Thank you for being nice, and for thinking I’m a strong person, that means a lot. Thank you.
I’m keeping myself anon but you might know who it is twin.
I just like- wanna say you’re brave? If that’s the right word? Idk. I find it really fucking cool that you’re brave enough to talk about childhood stuff (even if it hits too close to home sometimes). I really wish I had that courage to say all that on the internet or even comment on those posts.
And I really don’t mean to vent to you, I just idk- I really admire you and stuff and I’m getting all emotional writing this so I just keep rambling. And I love seeing you as a sort of friend even though we don’t talk too often rn.
~M
I think I know who this is, but I won’t say anything. For what it’s worth, you’re more than welcome to message me on here anytime if you need/want to talk, I’m also on Discord if that’s a place you’d rather talk to me (I’ve sent a couple people my Discord username who wanted to talk more often, so don’t be afraid to ask) and I really appreciate all of that. I have a lot of trouble imagining myself as someone that people would look up to, because, to me, I’m just a silly little guy who posts online, and on the rare occasion post something deeply personal. I never imagined a day that I’d have any type of audience, and I think that’s something really special.
Let me tell you this much, it took me a very long time to get to where I am. It took me a long time to feel like I could have a serious relationship, that I deserved to have someone to love me, but everyone deserves a chance to be loved if that’s something that they want. I don’t mean romantic love, just any type of love, whether that’s friends or chosen family, or even self love. It doesn’t matter what happened in your past, what was done to you, or what you might’ve done to someone else. People are constantly growing and changing, moving on from things despite the fact that memories linger, and that’s a good thing. You’re allowed to feel bad for yourself, you’re allowed to feel disgusted with yourself, but that doesn’t have to define who you or who you will be.
It’s hard to think that things will ever get better, and sometimes it’s hard to think that I’m deserving of a happy ending, but I want to believe that I am, that everyone is. I try to be optimistic, even if it’s hard, even if I still complain, even if I vent every now and then about stuff from years ago, or something that happened recently, because I want something to look forward to in life, even if it’s small. Even if the thing I’m looking forward to is a new movie, getting food that I like, watching a new video, taking my pets for a walk, or anything, no matter how trivial, because without something to look forward to, I’m stuck thinking about everything terrible from the past, so I need to keep my head up and look forward to things.
Hello! Don’t feel pushed to respond to this right away or anything, I’m just sending this before I forget! Could I maybe ask if you had any thoughts on any of Franco’s stepmothers? You can exclude Angelina because we’ve already talked about what she was like, but if you wanna add anything I don’t mind! They definitely weren’t good, obviously, but I wasn’t sure if you had any thoughts on vibes or if any of them were less bad than others, I just don’t see a lot of speculation on them but when I do (minus like, the obvious nonsense I hate) it can be really interesting. But if you don’t have any thoughts, that’s okay! I just really enjoy your opinions and ideas on Franco’s childhood (and Coyle’s) so I wanted to check if you had some more to share :)
I will quite frankly never be open to giving thoughts on Angelina, writing about her, or talking about her in any detail. I can’t explain why I draw the line at her, but I do.
A lot of people seem interested in my thoughts on Franco’s childhood (and to a mildly annoying lesser extent Coyle’s childhood) and I think that’s really neat! I’m always happy to talk/write about the original three prime assets and their childhoods; I’ve talked about Gooseberry’s a few times, and I’ll eventually post a fic about her childhood.
Franco’s stepmothers got increasingly younger every time Salvatore remarried, with the first one actually being close in age to Salvatore and baring a resemblance to Franco’s birth mother- physically, at least. Salvatore never exactly got over Franco’s birth mother, despite being the one to kill her over how Franco was born, because he did truly love her to an obsessive degree; one that would make itself apparent as Franco got a little older and began to look more like her.
Salvatore did kill all his wives; sometimes they’d try to walk out on him, but they’d die regardless. The younger they got, the worse they got, because they cared less about even pretending to mother Franco and they became more vocal with their opinions on him. Every single time one walked out, Franco always got blamed for it by Salvatore, because he’d swear up and down that they would’ve stayed if it wasn’t for him. A majority of his stepmothers were bilingual (English and Italian) while the later ones only spoke English; Franco didn’t pick up well on English until he got older, still misses a few words now when he’s stressed or regressed, because Salvatore didn’t prioritize him knowing it until he was brought into the mafia. This led to a gap between Franco and some of his stepmothers, because there was an obvious language barrier, and it usually annoyed the stepmothers that they couldn’t tell what he wanted; they probably still wouldn’t know even if they spoke the same language.
Franco tried to get his earlier stepmothers to like him, but it never really worked. Every so often, one would hesitantly try to connect with him, to calm him down when he’d come home from school, but most of them didn’t make the effort. It was really common for new stepmothers to assume he was younger than he actually was, because of certain habits (pacifier, plushies, etc.) and his size, as well as him being late to certain milestones (walking, talking, etc.) so that led to some awkward interactions.
None of them went through efforts like cooking for him, cleaning his room, or teaching him how to do anything. Ultimately, Franco still spent more time around hookers than his stepmothers, even from a young age, because they just didn’t want anything to do with him, especially not the later ones. There were a few stepmothers early on that Franco got along with, because they at least tried to be kind and patient with him, even cooked for him some- it’s where he learned a little bit of it from, they at least acted like mothers, but those ones were usually the most short lived for reasons he didn’t understand; he could only assume Salvatore was somehow punishing him.
Hello :) Sorry you’ve had a hard time with some childhood memory stuff recently, I don’t always have the right words for this, but I wanted to make sure I showed you some support and stuff, I get lost in memories a lot and it can fuck up my day, so I know it gets really hard sometimes. Wishing you the best :)
Thank you, I’m sorry you have to deal with that also. I appreciate you checking on me.
Easterman forcemasing a reagent, making him a better perfect whole man
I already got other x reagent requests, so I’ll add this to the queue as well. FYI, I leave reagents fairly blank canvases, as in they aren’t OCs (hope that’s okay) if so it’ll be up when it’s done.
if you had to choose between franco or coyle to blend alive while one of them is forced to watch who would it be, (they are both in relationship)
I mean, how bigs my blender? Franco’s probably easier to fit into a blender, even a large blender, and his clothes are probably easier to blend than leather. Plus, if I blend Coyle alive, Franco’s gonna whine about it, and I’ll never hear the end of it. If I blend Franco alive, Coyle’s gonna be angry, but he’ll keep it bottled up. I’d rather blend Coyle, but I feel like it’s objectively easier to blend Franco.
Back to being normal and happy with my posts tomorrow, I swear, I just had some stuff I needed to get out of my system. I’m done now, so this is the last one.
We’ll return to your regularly scheduled programming.
I feel no pity nor sympathy for my younger self, and that’s odd. If it were anyone else in that situation, I’d feel bad for them, I’d sympathize, but any hint of remorse is gone when it comes to myself. I blame myself partially for what happened, because it’s not like I did anything to try to stop it from happening. I can’t feel bad for myself the way I feel bad for anyone else.
If it were anyone else, I’d tell them not to blame themself, to blame their mother, but I don’t feel that way when it’s me, I just blame both of us equally.
Franco humping reagents that he eliminated by beating them with his lapara while jumping onto on their lap. (Death animation) because of what he saw with Coyle
Bonus points if Easterman watches his boys connect with each other from the security cameras. Father is all to happy to see his favorite boys getting along. Bastard probably saved so much footage of those two for later personal use.
I’m always gonna shoot for bonus points, consider this noted!
Imagine if Coyle is getting head from the warden during prime time but Franco is watching and clumsily exposes himself during the whole ordeal.
Instead of being angry Coyle just becomes rougher with the warden while watching Franco and only Franco during; basically mounting the warden’s face and being as loud as possible with it. The thought of Coyle using the warden as a replacement for Franco is soooo good but add the sexual tension from this scene afterwards. The two of them would be hot and bothered for multiple trials. Franco would act far more bratty than usual
There’s so much potential with this, and I think I may make a little fic about it. I’ve been loving all the francoyle to come out of the new update! Expect a fic at some point!
