Cinnamon @cursed-critters - Tumblr Blog

Stop! Read this, or not.

This is an 18+ blog! Minors DNI!

I take (free) writing requests and whatnot

Requests are currently open!

I do not write x reader

I do not write Franco x Gooseberry

I do not write Coyle x Gooseberry

I do not write Easterman x Amelia

I do not write Franco x Liliya

I do not write Coyle x Liliya

I do not write Easterman x Liliya

I do not write Amelia x Liliya

I do not want to write Liliya

I do not write Ang*lina Barbi

I do not write scat

Don’t rush me, I write/post things at my own pace! Hey, anyone who happens to be here! I’m Rowan (he/they/it) , some creature who found their way to this app. I tend to hyperfixate on things for extended periods of time. I find myself more focused on specific characters sometimes as opposed to the entire creation (be it a book, game, show, movie, etc.). I primarily do writing, on the rare occasion you may see a drawing. I have so many headcanons that’ll die with me unless asked about them, so feel free to ask about that, or share yours with me! Be kind, any hate will be deleted!

Find me on Bluesky where I post almost the exact same stuff

He/They/It | Panromantic & Asexual | What’s your opinion on taxidermy?

Find me on Twitter where I also post the same stuff

Find me on Reddit

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Find me on ao3 🔞

An Archive of Our Own, a project of the Organization for Transformative Works

I’ve been sick on and off again all summer, and I’ve lost, like, thirty pounds, and now I think I just have to die. I’ve gotten so much “Oh, you’re lucky you lost weight at least,” fucker I ain’t trying to lose weight. I was actually very happy being fat, thank you.

God forbid someone not want to be thin. God forbid someone actually likes being fat. God forbid I’m not happy about my unintentional weight loss.

#rowan rants #the fuck do you mean lucky #I’ve been puking my guts up for months

When I post a fic to ao3, I don’t usually post it separately here (like the link) but I’ve been asked to a few times now, so I think I’m gonna start doing that also for people who don’t have email notifications/check ao3 but still want to know.

Since I don’t write daily (currently) I don’t think it should clutter too much stuff. It’s probably easier than digging through my writing tag.

#rowan rants

.

I was always expected to lead prayer as a family. I’d lead prayer before dinner, before bed, etc. because I was the one with the strongest link to God, seeing as I was viewed as a prophet. There was this one time when I was little, where I was just really hungry, so I reached for the food without thinking, and my grandfather stabbed me in the hand before I could even register what happened.

#rowan rants #vent post #kinda

I don’t know you personally and I don’t want to overstep as a mutual but I want to tell you that I’m proud of you, which could sound corny, parasocial, or maybe even pitying, but I don’t mean to be any of those things.

I thought that you were strong just from seeing how you handled the cruelty people online dished out to you- and that you took it very well and showed maturity and growth from it.

When you started to share about your past, the fact that you’re a strong person had only been reinforced.

I can’t lie or act like I understand those struggles as I’ve not gone through them- but I do understand that it takes someone with immense strength and will to persevere through them.

It may seem odd, but I wanted to let you know.

You don’t have to respond or anything, but I just thought it would be a nice thing for you to hear, that someone out there is proud of you .

🫶

Also I’m sorry if this is not very cohesive or eloquent. I also do not mean to over step.

You’re not overstepping, don’t worry, and I really appreciate this. Thank you for being nice, and for thinking I’m a strong person, that means a lot. Thank you.

#rowan replies

I’m keeping myself anon but you might know who it is twin.

I just like- wanna say you’re brave? If that’s the right word? Idk. I find it really fucking cool that you’re brave enough to talk about childhood stuff (even if it hits too close to home sometimes). I really wish I had that courage to say all that on the internet or even comment on those posts.

You are so awesome and strong for all the shit you had to deal with and how you’re still standing despite it. I kinda also am jealous? I’m jealous that you’re able to have a fiancé that loves you and that you’re popular because you’re not afraid to post what you like? Like I’m so proud of you but sometimes I look at myself and ask why I couldn’t have turned out as successful as you are in my eyes.

And I really don’t mean to vent to you, I just idk- I really admire you and stuff and I’m getting all emotional writing this so I just keep rambling. And I love seeing you as a sort of friend even though we don’t talk too often rn.

~M

I think I know who this is, but I won’t say anything. For what it’s worth, you’re more than welcome to message me on here anytime if you need/want to talk, I’m also on Discord if that’s a place you’d rather talk to me (I’ve sent a couple people my Discord username who wanted to talk more often, so don’t be afraid to ask) and I really appreciate all of that. I have a lot of trouble imagining myself as someone that people would look up to, because, to me, I’m just a silly little guy who posts online, and on the rare occasion post something deeply personal. I never imagined a day that I’d have any type of audience, and I think that’s something really special.

Let me tell you this much, it took me a very long time to get to where I am. It took me a long time to feel like I could have a serious relationship, that I deserved to have someone to love me, but everyone deserves a chance to be loved if that’s something that they want. I don’t mean romantic love, just any type of love, whether that’s friends or chosen family, or even self love. It doesn’t matter what happened in your past, what was done to you, or what you might’ve done to someone else. People are constantly growing and changing, moving on from things despite the fact that memories linger, and that’s a good thing. You’re allowed to feel bad for yourself, you’re allowed to feel disgusted with yourself, but that doesn’t have to define who you or who you will be.

It’s hard to think that things will ever get better, and sometimes it’s hard to think that I’m deserving of a happy ending, but I want to believe that I am, that everyone is. I try to be optimistic, even if it’s hard, even if I still complain, even if I vent every now and then about stuff from years ago, or something that happened recently, because I want something to look forward to in life, even if it’s small. Even if the thing I’m looking forward to is a new movie, getting food that I like, watching a new video, taking my pets for a walk, or anything, no matter how trivial, because without something to look forward to, I’m stuck thinking about everything terrible from the past, so I need to keep my head up and look forward to things.

Sorry this reply is so long.

#rowan replies

Every time my fiancé and I play Deltarune together, they make me voice 90% of the characters, and I think it’s done irreversible damage to my vocal cords.

Like, I’m used to barely talking at all, so that’s a lot.

#rowan rants #all they voice are the king #and Ralsei #and asgore #and berdley #I’m literally everyone else #so it’s mostly just me talking while they get to watch and listen #like its a show

Hello! Don’t feel pushed to respond to this right away or anything, I’m just sending this before I forget! Could I maybe ask if you had any thoughts on any of Franco’s stepmothers? You can exclude Angelina because we’ve already talked about what she was like, but if you wanna add anything I don’t mind! They definitely weren’t good, obviously, but I wasn’t sure if you had any thoughts on vibes or if any of them were less bad than others, I just don’t see a lot of speculation on them but when I do (minus like, the obvious nonsense I hate) it can be really interesting. But if you don’t have any thoughts, that’s okay! I just really enjoy your opinions and ideas on Franco’s childhood (and Coyle’s) so I wanted to check if you had some more to share :)

I will quite frankly never be open to giving thoughts on Angelina, writing about her, or talking about her in any detail. I can’t explain why I draw the line at her, but I do.

A lot of people seem interested in my thoughts on Franco’s childhood (and to a mildly annoying lesser extent Coyle’s childhood) and I think that’s really neat! I’m always happy to talk/write about the original three prime assets and their childhoods; I’ve talked about Gooseberry’s a few times, and I’ll eventually post a fic about her childhood.

Franco’s stepmothers got increasingly younger every time Salvatore remarried, with the first one actually being close in age to Salvatore and baring a resemblance to Franco’s birth mother- physically, at least. Salvatore never exactly got over Franco’s birth mother, despite being the one to kill her over how Franco was born, because he did truly love her to an obsessive degree; one that would make itself apparent as Franco got a little older and began to look more like her.

Salvatore did kill all his wives; sometimes they’d try to walk out on him, but they’d die regardless. The younger they got, the worse they got, because they cared less about even pretending to mother Franco and they became more vocal with their opinions on him. Every single time one walked out, Franco always got blamed for it by Salvatore, because he’d swear up and down that they would’ve stayed if it wasn’t for him. A majority of his stepmothers were bilingual (English and Italian) while the later ones only spoke English; Franco didn’t pick up well on English until he got older, still misses a few words now when he’s stressed or regressed, because Salvatore didn’t prioritize him knowing it until he was brought into the mafia. This led to a gap between Franco and some of his stepmothers, because there was an obvious language barrier, and it usually annoyed the stepmothers that they couldn’t tell what he wanted; they probably still wouldn’t know even if they spoke the same language.

Franco tried to get his earlier stepmothers to like him, but it never really worked. Every so often, one would hesitantly try to connect with him, to calm him down when he’d come home from school, but most of them didn’t make the effort. It was really common for new stepmothers to assume he was younger than he actually was, because of certain habits (pacifier, plushies, etc.) and his size, as well as him being late to certain milestones (walking, talking, etc.) so that led to some awkward interactions.

None of them went through efforts like cooking for him, cleaning his room, or teaching him how to do anything. Ultimately, Franco still spent more time around hookers than his stepmothers, even from a young age, because they just didn’t want anything to do with him, especially not the later ones. There were a few stepmothers early on that Franco got along with, because they at least tried to be kind and patient with him, even cooked for him some- it’s where he learned a little bit of it from, they at least acted like mothers, but those ones were usually the most short lived for reasons he didn’t understand; he could only assume Salvatore was somehow punishing him.

#rowan replies #outlast #outlast trials #the outlast trials #franco barbi #franco il bambino barbi #headcanon

Hello :) Sorry you’ve had a hard time with some childhood memory stuff recently, I don’t always have the right words for this, but I wanted to make sure I showed you some support and stuff, I get lost in memories a lot and it can fuck up my day, so I know it gets really hard sometimes. Wishing you the best :)

Thank you, I’m sorry you have to deal with that also. I appreciate you checking on me.

#rowan replies

Easterman forcemasing a reagent, making him a better perfect whole man

I already got other x reagent requests, so I’ll add this to the queue as well. FYI, I leave reagents fairly blank canvases, as in they aren’t OCs (hope that’s okay) if so it’ll be up when it’s done.

#rowan replies #outlast #outlast trials #the outlast trials #dr easterman #doctor easterman #hendrick joliet easterman #dr easterman x reagent #outlast reagent

you think yeasterman's pH is messed up from letting all of Sinyala hit?

i think that

I mean, yeah, now I think that…

#rowan replies

if you had to choose between franco or coyle to blend alive while one of them is forced to watch who would it be, (they are both in relationship)

I mean, how bigs my blender? Franco’s probably easier to fit into a blender, even a large blender, and his clothes are probably easier to blend than leather. Plus, if I blend Coyle alive, Franco’s gonna whine about it, and I’ll never hear the end of it. If I blend Franco alive, Coyle’s gonna be angry, but he’ll keep it bottled up. I’d rather blend Coyle, but I feel like it’s objectively easier to blend Franco.

#rowan replies

Here’s a picture of my son, now let’s pretend I’ve been normal all day

#rowan rants #tell him hello

Back to being normal and happy with my posts tomorrow, I swear, I just had some stuff I needed to get out of my system. I’m done now, so this is the last one.

We’ll return to your regularly scheduled programming.

#rowan rants #vent post #back to being silly and normal and whatnot #just needed to complain I guess #uhh blood and naked kinda #caution #even if it’s cartoony

Childhood complaints (pt. 2)

I feel no pity nor sympathy for my younger self, and that’s odd. If it were anyone else in that situation, I’d feel bad for them, I’d sympathize, but any hint of remorse is gone when it comes to myself. I blame myself partially for what happened, because it’s not like I did anything to try to stop it from happening. I can’t feel bad for myself the way I feel bad for anyone else.

If it were anyone else, I’d tell them not to blame themself, to blame their mother, but I don’t feel that way when it’s me, I just blame both of us equally.

#rowan rants #vent post #kinda #last one probably #I just have things I need to get out of my brain #or I’ll pull my hair out

Franco humping reagents that he eliminated by beating them with his lapara while jumping onto on their lap. (Death animation) because of what he saw with Coyle

Jfc I’m disgusting

Okay, noted, noted as well. The fic idea grows!

#rowan replies #outlast #outlast trials #the outlast trials #leland coyle #sergeant coyle #officer coyle #franco barbi #franco il bambino barbi #francoyle

Bonus points if Easterman watches his boys connect with each other from the security cameras. Father is all to happy to see his favorite boys getting along. Bastard probably saved so much footage of those two for later personal use.

I’m always gonna shoot for bonus points, consider this noted!

#rowan replies #outlast #outlast trials #the outlast trials #leland coyle #sergeant coyle #officer coyle #franco barbi #franco il bambino barbi #francoyle #dr easterman #doctor easterman #hendrick joliet easterman #francoyle x easterman

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