Hey I'm Cake

You're going to have to fight, and you're going to win

[escuerzoresucitado]

[haybalesims]

[dropkickpikachu]

ba groba naby dooni tudem

[jessebloom]

i do have to hand it to him

[pancakeke]

I've been waiting for him to say this lmao

[gaybastich]

[weirdadvicehumangirl]

He's responsible for this beauty

There are more but I don't have them

[ocean-again]

all classics

[goth-aunt]

Anyways no weapon forged against me shall prosper and any evil wished upon me shall be reflected back to you tenfold, so jot that down.

[powerburial]

talking to army recruiters at the mall wearing a robe with my pet lizard on my shoulder: I will join your so-called army, only if you allow me to take my companion into battle. My great beast, he is my eyes and ears.

[powerburial]

me and my lizard both love weed

[thehalflingsleaf]

"what do we do about people who fake disabilities to get ssi" we throw them a fucking party for pulling off the most difficult and unrewarding grift of all time. literally i don't care

[catchymemes]

[fruitpilled-peachcel]

[smute]

[patrick-stewart]

Twilight (2008) but it’s just the parts I quote all the time (1/?)

[beemovieerotica]

omg so we have 1 seeing dog and 1 blind dog and whenever there's a toy they both want, the seeing dog takes it and just...stands very still. immobile. she KNOWS he will try to wrestle it from her but she has figured out that if she does not squeak it, then he will not find it. leading to this.

"god....grant me the strength to not squeak the squeaky toy"

[beemovieerotica]

[beardedmrbean]

[konigstigerr]

[prolifeproliberty]

Credit to @year-of-the-taiga

[pfaugh]

Src

[amygdalae]

genuinely terrifying how adhd will have you be fully aware of the responsibilities you’re neglecting and yet its like you’re being piloted by a super chill hedonistic demon who can’t hear you/doesnt care

[duizelig-deactivated20221027]

[bane-of-technology]

[azaleatown]

I've never seen a more fitting encapsulation of American media than this sinister Snapchat discover page

[still-waiting-for-cap3]

Why is this so funny like