It has happened again, everyone.
Spoiler warnings for Xmen ‘97, specifically the final episode.
The sun rose pink and orange the day after the battle. To most people, it wouldn’t have been a particularly notable sunrise, but in the days since dying and coming back to life… Remy had learned to appreciate the small things even more.
He sat wedged in a window seat that faced the sun as it rose over what remained of Genosha. The concrete and stone ruins of a place that may have been his home stood silent and empty, so different from what it had been the last time he was here. If he closed his eyes, he could almost hear it. The laughter of the mutant children at play. Music floating down the street, accompanied by the clap of hands and stomping of feet. The buzz of a crowd going about their daily business.
It had been the professor’s dream, and for a moment, it had been his, too.
But now, like so many other things, it was gone. Wiped away in an instant.
He sighed, resting his forehead against the cool pane of glass that covered the window. The sun warmed his cheeks.
How nice it is to feel again, he mused to himself. Warmth was another luxury he wouldn’t take for granted.
Had it only been a day? One day since the defeat of Apocalypse, one day since Kurt sacrificed himself for them? One day since it was nearly Rogue instead?
A wave of nausea rolled over him at that last thought. It was practically unthinkable, a perversion of everything Remy had sacrificed his own life for.
And yet this time, it had almost been her.
She would have done it, too. And that was the worse thought of all.
He startled, turning around to see her.
Ah, mon dieu, how lovely she is. It was a thought that never got old, because the truth was that she was the most beautiful woman he’d ever laid eyes on. In the early morning light, her skin almost glowed, and she looked jawdroppingly stunning in a tank top and shorts.
Anna Marie smiled at him, her green eyes sparkling in that familiar way he loved so much. “What are you doing awake, sugar?”
“Couldn’t sleep, mon ami.” Remy smiled back—how could he not?—and moved his legs so she could sit with him. There was no helping the flash of joy that went through him when she did just so, their knees pressed together. “Guess I’m not used to it anymore.”
“Did you not sleep before?”
“Not really. Who needs to sleep when you’re already dead?”
It was meant to be a gentle joke, but her features darkened almost instantly, like a light being turned off or a window shuttering closed.
Rogue looked out the window, drawing her knees up to her chest. “… I never thought about it like that before.”
Stupid! Should watch what I’m saying more closely. Gambit reached over and put a hand on her knee. “I’m sorry, Rogue. It just—”
“It’s fine,” she interrupted quietly, shaking her head. “Just had death on the mind a lot recently. I know you didn’t mean anything malicious by it.”
“‘Course not.” He sighed. “We all have, haven’t we?”
Anna Marie looked back at him with a frown. “Remy… we’ve talked about this.”
“No we haven’t, actually.” Remy sat forward, squeezing her knee to keep her attention. “Chere, what were you thinking, sacrificing yourself for me!? Why in all hell’s name would you think that’s a good idea?”
She huffed, looking away again. “It had to be done. I had to save you.”
“And I love you for that, I really do. But—“
“You really think I was just going to let you die?” Rogue interrupted, her gaze flashing back to him. Her eyes were fiery, even defiant. “I’ve been through hell, Remy. I—I could feel you again after all this time, and I felt your pain and I couldn’t let it happen again. I couldn’t! I don’t want to live without you!”
Her words hit him like a stab to the heart— or maybe to the side, with how painful they were. He knew from personal experience. “So you would make me live without you? You were going to save me, use your beautiful, amazing, incredible powers to save my life… and then die in my arms? That was the plan?”
“Better than letting you die again,” she whispered. She didn’t look at him, just drew her knees even closer as if she could shrink into a ball.
But he never wanted her to shrink herself because of him.
Remy swallowed. Then, before he could overthink it, he sat up on his knees so he could be closer to her, close enough to feel the warmth radiating from her skin. Warmth that, until only a few days ago, he could only dream of touching.
“Mon chere…” he murmured. “I don’t want that to be our lives. Always sacrificing for the other.”
“Isn’t that what love is? Being willing to sacrifice?”
“Maybe so, but I prefer the other ways to show a woman how I care for her. Death should not be how we end.”
Her gaze finally flicked to his, and she adjusted a little so her knees were no longer blocking them. The seat was small, but there was a still enough room to balance, to see how her green eyes were filled with sadness, brimming g tears that lingered too close to falling. “Everything ends in death, Remy. Especially for the ones you love. I know that all too well.”
“So do I. But I don’t want you to sacrifice your life for mine.”
“And guess what? Gambit came back.”
A wry smile twisted at her lips. “That’s not the point.”
“It is exactly the point I’m trying to make, chere.” He reached over and tucked a curl behind her ear, his fingertips just barely brushing against her skin. “There’s always another way. Isn’t that what the professor is always trying to tell us?”
Rogue tilted her chin up a little, raising an eyebrow in that defiant way he had grown to love so much. “I wasn’t going to let Apocalypse kill you, Remy. If I had to choose, I’d do it all over again.”
“So would I. But I’ve been selfish enough in my life to warrant a sacrifice or two. You are what means the most to me.”
“Well, how about this then, Cajun?” She cupped his face in her hands, her gloves smooth against his skin. “Since we aren’t gonna agree on this, how about we agree not to sacrifice our lives for each other? To always find the other option?”
Remy smiled, the sudden urge to kiss her flaring up like an itch that he needed to scratch. “Careful, chere, that almost sounds like another proposal.”
“Maybe it is,” Rogue shot back. “Should it be?”
He laughed. “I thought a traditional Southern Belle like yourself would prefer a real proposal from your man. Ring and all.”
“Well, my man has technically already proposed to me. And I remember saying yes.”
He waved a hand in the air. “I was dead, Anna Marie. A proposal of such… weight hardly counts when the groom is dead.”
“But you aren’t dead anymore, sugar. And… well, neither am I,” she said softly, her gaze staying fixed on him.
The mention of Kurt—even as accidental as it was—still made his gut twist with regret. It should have been me. Not Rogue and definitely not Kurt.
It was a thought that had plagued him all night.
But regrets would not change that which had already happened. And from the look on Rogue’s face, she knew that as well as he did.
“He would want us to be happy,” she said quietly. “Upset to not be able to walk me down the aisle… but he’d want this. For both of us.”
Remy bowed his head, pressing a kiss to the inside of Rogue’s wrist. Even that small bit of contact was enough to set off fireworks as bright and colorful as Jubilee’s inside of his stomach. “You’re right. And I want it more than anything.”
“No buts this time. Really.” He looked up at her again. “I’ve waited for you for a long time, Anna Marie. If you want this—want me… Then I’m all yours. Just say the word.”
He smirked at her, unable to resist the joke that came right to his mind. “I don’t think it counts if you don’t say it in front of a priest, chere.”
Rogue rolled her eyes. “Oh shut up and kiss me, Remy. Assuming you’re not afraid, that is.”
“Of you? Never. I view you and your powers with all the respect they rightly deserve.” He leaned close, savoring each second of being so near to her, of being able to touch her after so long… and then he kissed her.
And it was as beautiful as it had been each time before. Not as easy as kissing other women had been—although she was mostly in control, there was still the faintest pull on his powers, on his very life—that wasn’t very comfortable, but he was fine with that.
If discomfort was the price to pay for being with Anna Marie, he would deal with it a thousand times over. He would allow himself to be stabbed again, to suffer pain and agony, to even die, just to be with her.
For what is pain if not love enduring? Compared to death, a bit of discomfort was nothing.
“I used to think you should be afraid of me,” she whispered against his lips. “Thought I’d kill you, or put you in a coma forever.”
“I’m not afraid of you, Anna Marie,” Gambit whispered back. “You wouldn’t hurt me. I would die a thousand times over for even a moment with you.”
A smile flicked across her face at that. “Well, in the future, let’s both avoid dying. I wasn’t a huge fan of being without you.”
“You’ve got a deal, chere,” he promised. “No more dying.”
Rogue raised an eyebrow at him, that mischievous smile still playing at her lips. “How about you seal that promise for me, Cajun?”
“Your wish is my command.”
The sun rose behind him, casting light on the new day. But Remy wasn’t focused on that anymore. The light of his life was close enough to touch, and he’d climbed through hell to get back to her. How could he let an opportunity like this pass by?
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