Soft and on Sale

Whats up, my name is Alicia, im 22, and i never fuckin learned how to read.

[gifsboom]

[dr-dendritic-trees]

[A large and fluffy dog is sleeping on a porch. A tiny grey bird is bouncing around on the dog, stealing its fur.  Its tiny beak is full of dog floof.  The dog is totally still and does not appear to have noticed the thief.]

[aviculor]

a burglar

[knightoftaurus]

a birbler

[bbyg-rl]

new hotline, who bling?

[ulibeanzz]

“sir what you did is literally 100 percent illegal” “ok but get this: im a rich white person"  “oh sorry about that sir" 

[necrophilofthefuture]

[whoisshe777]

[omghotmemes]

Friday the 13th

[dankmemeuniversity]

[dipsetflag-deactivated20141026]

Parents: HOORAY! You’re 21 now! Let’s go for your first drink!

Me: OH BOY MY FIRST DRINK!!! CAN’T WAIT!!

[dankmemeuniversity]

[laoflyer]

[rojo-todd]

[singular] y’all

[plural] all y’all

[mixedapocalyptic]

3. [alternate plural] all'a y'all

[simplessence]

4. [possessive pronoun] y’all’s 5. [future tense] y’all’ll

[bottlesbreaking]

SO TODAY I REALIZED THAT WHEN YOU GOOGLE SEARCHED “DOLPHINS IN TUXEDOS” NOTHING COMES UP SO I DECIDED TO PHOTOSHOP IT

AFTER PHOTOSHOPPING THE FIRST DOLPHIN, I DECIDED TO MAKE HIM A BRIDE, YOU KNOW, JUST BECAuSE

THEN I REALIZED THAT I DIDN’T REMEMBER WHAT HAND THE WEDDING RING WENT ON SO I DECIDED TO TEXT MY MOM AND

I COULD HEAR HER LAUGHING FROM MY ROOM

BUT THE N

I’MM CRYING

[cursedcatimages]

[wimberry-deactivated20150825]

which are u: wine mom, beer dad, or vodka aunt

[dizepm-deactivated20180217]

im an orange juice grandma

[obeyev1l]

Not all heroes wear capes

[twisteddelusion]

[xenosagaepisodeone]

having a permanent full time job is you thinking to yourself “so this is really the rest of my life huh” as you come home every single day before using your 4 hours of recreational activity to do nothing and then going to bed

[left-reminders]

[dankmemeuniversity]