It’s like “I’m Baby!” But I’m also a Slut

CYCON | SHE/THEY

[durbikins]

[star-pocalypse]

[lesbinewren]

we need to make using chatgpt embarrassing bc sorry it really is. what do you mean you can’t write an email

[cannibalchicken]

[tenmillionpoundsofsludge-deacti]

The brotherhood of steel respecting pronouns was not on my fallout bingo card

[mostwantedpotato404]

Best character in fallout, period

PRINT

[mostrovskaa]

Rotating them in my mind... ( sorry for all the tw stuff, it just fits them :-(( so I put them in a little polish cartoon style piece as retribution)

[nonrebreather]

when i was post op after top surgery i had a good friend there with me to help recover. but the nurse didnt get the memo and when i woke up she was like “ok i’m gonna go get your girlfriend and bring her in to see you!” and i remember being so zonked on anesthesia and so disoriented i just laid there thinking wow…… all that an they’re bringing me a girlfriend too this place is amazing

[shaxza]

now playing on lightspeed FM...

[yakowo]

Brooding no more!!!🍻

[kinoselynn]

concepts

[huffylemon]

[triviallytrue]

aren't gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn't maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

[friendshapedhole]

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

[triviallytrue]

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I'm fine, I wasn't planning on smiling at him

[max1461]

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

[triviallytrue]

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I'm confident I can stay out of the gorilla's way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it's all over.

It's not just about the physical danger either, it's about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he's actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

[ghostpalmtechnique]

They should substitute "chimpanzee" for "gorilla" in this hypothetical.

[triviallytrue]

if it was a chimp i'm taking the fucking snakes

[notwiselybuttoowell]

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I'm not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

[chaumas-deactivated20240115]

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

[nightingalesoul]

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

[bermuda-n-drangle]

fucking enamored with the implication that this gorilla is fully intelligent but is trying to manufacture plausible deniability like the movie barnyard

[seongpinkhwa]

cant believe we live in a reality where getting a silly iced drink can set you back 7 dollars. it's like they want me dead

[deus-ex-moshina]

Honestly the fact that Jaskier is (also) kind of a celebrity in Netflix Witcher canon is. SO fucking funny to me….. Can you imagine being another Wolf witcher in this universe. It’s like if Hozier wrote 5 Grammy-winning albums exclusively about this weird kid from your high school

[streetlight-spam]

fuck it we crawl 🐛

[shinolavolume1-deactivated20240]

if i went to a bar and the bartender was a mouse girl i would submit a food safety violation report to the county health department

[dipshit-supreme]

[berlingotesque]

Wanted to doodle some of my first intrusive thoughts about batdr when I finished playing it Tuesday so hERE IT IS-