but I knew him...

cynthia | twenty-something | artistically inclined goober mr. nobley is checking out my blog. go on, don't be shy. i know you want to check it out too!

[tvmusic-blog]

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from EVERWOOD 4x22 ‘Foreverwood (part 2)’

when Amy is waiting outside for Ephram with the ferris wheel

[annebonnysbastard]

If you post your most recently used emojis in a row it’s a pretty damn accurate picture of your mental health.

😃😂😉😩😳😶😣😲😒😈😄😙😡☺️😔😍👉🏼😜😱😊

[idkloner]

😂😒🙌🏾😋😍😊💀😶👀😳😕🙋🏽😜😐😩😭😫🙈🙊😘😔😷

[dmvkidcudi]

😑😤😐😂😕🙌👆😊😌😳😍😏👍😭😔😵🌑🌚😁😒🙋☕🐸😷

[classofcyprians]

😂😷😋😣😹😨😭☺️😘😤😧😞😩😌😫😱😥👌🏾😍❤️👊🏽😬😡😓😒😐😁😾😮

[theemperorrises]

💑👫💪💜💛💚💙😙😑😍😧😌🙋😯😥😉🙆🙌😒❤😘😊😁😂😃🐶🐩🐱🐭🔰

[salemthefamiliar]

😂😱😒😃😛😅🙌🏽💀👌🏽🐝💅🏽👯😭😍💦😳💁🏼👱🏼👸🏾💯🎃😀🔫😕👏🏽👀😩💋👎🏽🚽

[cynder-ella]

😊🙈😅✌️😎💕😄😳😘😕💋😒☺️😆👌👍🍦😝😂😍🙌🎉😵🚲😁😜😑😔👌🏻😪

[cynder-ella]

A Quick Summary

I'm learning that each day has many new opportunities to offer. They may be well hidden sometimes, might even be a smaller reward in comparison to others you find, but once you open up to these treasure moments you feel more fulfilled. It's definitely one way of finding and welcoming and bringing happiness your way. Where I was a year ago was different. But I'm not going to recap and search my catalogue of memories and regurgitate whatever it was I was feeling back then. I'm here, in the present. What happened before is in the past and I'm focused on today. Tomorrow is judged by what happens today. Now is what counts. Make the most of that. Be brave and try new things, be open minded. Take caution when giving in to impulsive decisions but also...just go for it. There will always be risk and consequence. But living, experiencing and exploring what life has to offer is so much better.

[extramadness]

More inspiring quotes here

[lovequotespost]

[lovequotespost]

[cynder-ella]

Feel Good Moments

Being invited to something you weren’t sure you would be part of

That accomplished feeling of doing yard clean up on your own despite having asthma and allergies

Getting up early and going to hot yoga two days in a row

Ordering, receiving, and wearing a new leotard (it’s been 5 years since my last purchase!)

New nail polish color that doesn’t clash with your tan

Being the reason someone laughs or smiles

Baking treats for friends just because

Someone planning a group thing with you at the center of it

When your friend custom designs sunglasses for you and another friend finds what you designed already in stock

Surprising someone with an early birthday present

Sharing a moment with someone and making them truly happy in that moment

Special Moments:

Making him laugh

Being the reason he’s smiling to himself

Seeing his eyes crinkle up from being amused at/with me

When we joke around

Seeking his advice

His patience with me when discussing important things

When he admits he can’t quite read me and my realness vs sarcasm

When he shares a personal story or reveals something about himself

The trust he has in me when he unloads some of his stress

Seeing how talented he is

Sharing his passion and opening up 

[cynder-ella]

If she has a lot of guy friends or her coworkers are mostly men...

Don’t worry too much because she chooses you over them

You are the one she comes home to

You are the one she wants to see after a long day

[extramadness]

More inspiring quotes here

[extramadness]

more quotes here

[cynder-ella]

He fills that space just the way I like it. Reaches beyond and it feels like it stretches endlessly but then that energy comes right back to him-to his center. He sits in that pocket of being comfortable in his skin but still has that nerve, that edge, that boldness to spill out of that and explore the surrounding space. He moves with ease, with intent, without inhibition and it’s beautiful.

He dances alone but you can tell if he had a partner the support would be there. You get the sense that he would share that space with someone and challenge them with the journey of creating something together.

[50shadesofyodaddysdick]

crush: why are you texting me its 3 in the morning?

me:

[martymcflyinthefuture]

Today is the day Marty McFly goes to the future!

[cynder-ella]

I understand the sentiment and symbolism of possessive natures wrapped up in the act of taking and wearing of a significant other’s article of clothing. Some friends shared their views on this topic and the fact that they were a couple shed some interesting light on this topic. This couple was of the male and female pairing and their points of view were interestingly similar. The guy said that he likes seeing his clothes on his girl and to have things that she wanted of him, that sort of keeping you with me mentality I suppose. The girl said that she liked that aspect of it as well and also the scent factor. When you’re missing the other you smell that familiar scent and you feel comforted.

I had always appreciated the notion of wearing another guy’s sweater and smelling his cologne or specific fabric softener or wearing his favorite baseball hat. But when it comes down to it, the act of taking clothes that are his just isn’t quite as appealing to me now that I’m older. Middle school days, I was definitely a fan of stealing my crushes hat or wearing a boy’s sweater. I’m not quite sure what’s changed my mind though. Perhaps it’s because I haven’t been in a relationship before or the fact that I’ve only took a short dip in that “somewhere in between” grey area, but I think that maybe it’s just that I prefer to delve a little bit deeper. Sure, I wouldn’t mind borrowing a cozy sweater and maybe I would feel some sense of pride to be wearing his jacket while we’re out together. But to put some kind of symbol of possession out there relative to this clothing sort of fanaticism? I don’t know. I just feel very differently about this. What he would give me of himself, of his mind, would make me secure enough in us that just the thought of him would make me feel better. Remembering his words and the look in his eyes would give me more comfort and I'd feel more connected to him than what clothes and scent memory can offer.

Now that I’ve had some time to let this thought linger, maybe what I’m trying to say is that if I could claim something that’s his I guess I’d rather it be his quirks. I think I’d want to pick up those little things that he does differently from me and put them into my own day. I’d want to have a corner of his mind find a place in my own and to see the world the way he does sometimes, to do things he does the way he does, to listen to the music he prefers to enjoy while driving. For me, instead of wearing a reminder of him, I think I’d rather ride the waves and echoes of him and his daily mantras. I’d want to be carried by little reminders of influence through my day in ways that surprise me. A shirt that smells of him is great and all but I want more than just a shirt and a fading memory of what he smells like.

[lovequotespost]

[cynder-ella]

OMG BATES MOTEL. YOU GUYS IT IS BACK!

[cynder-ella]

It physically affects me, the threat of losing someone I care about so deeply. It hurts like the sorrow of grief even though I haven't lost them (at least so far). It tightens something in my chest and twists my stomach. I feel sick with it. If that's part of loving someone then I really hope that the other side of love makes a visit soon. Something needs to calm the demons hiding in the shadows for a little while. It gets very lonely on this side, patiently waiting for the other side of love.

Cynthia Llanos