Rubbish.

Namie Yagiri, 25, Female, Secretary to Izaya Orihara and formerly the chief of Yagiri pharmaceuticals. ...

[originaltrickster-deactivated20]

It wasn’t as though Izaya forced her to work for him, there was a reason she was here and not still at Yagiri Pharmaceuticals. Not like it mattered to him, her reasons were her own. 

"I’m aware of what this job requires. I am a dog walker, those people are dogs and I’m going to talk them for a walk. Observe."

Izaya pushed one of the buttons of his phone, “Moshi Moshi, Izaya Orihara speaking….. Oh really? You’re not satisfied with the service? I don’t think I am either…. Yes, that’s what I said. You said that you would pay me 600,000 yen upfront and you never delivered, yet I was kind enough to give you a little piece of the information you desired. Consider this deal terminated.”

Click.

Izaya spun around in his chair, chuckling to himself and eventually stopped to face her.

"Now tell me about these matters you have".

[cynicalsecretary]

      Namie crossed her arms, a clearly unimpressed expression visible on her face. She didn't have the patience to deal with humoring him.

                           ❛ Aside from dealing with your juvenile schemes

                                 for entertaining yourself? Many, to which I

                                     have no interest in sharing with you. ❜

[cynicalsecretary]

My apologies for being gone for so long. If you want a starter please like this post.

[originaltrickster-deactivated20]

It wasn’t hard for the informant to ignore the sour mood of his secretary as he walked by her, he was in a rather good mood and she wasn’t nearly important enough to ruin it. 

"I don’t know why you’re getting so stressed out. All you have to do is take a message and some details and tell them that I’ll get back to them"

Izaya flopped down in to his desk chair and spun around once before facing his phone which seemed to be lit up with calls that were on hold. A frown befell his features and he turned to look at her, unimpressed by what he saw.

"Don’t tell me you can’t even do that?"

[cynicalsecretary]

    Her eyebrow twitched in response to his snide comment. Part of her didn't want to answer the calls because she had never planned to be a secretary. Busting her ass in med school only to work for him? Not exactly part of the plan. Another part of her just wanted to aggravate him, with his constant schemes and existence bothering her on a day to day basis the slightest annoyances she could deliver would be considered small victories... though she would never give him the satisfaction of telling him that.

                      ❛ That's not the point... In your particular line 

                             of work, you don't experience the most 

                             civilized customer service calls. Besides,

                             there are more important matters i need

                          to address before assisting a random stalker.❜

[cynicalsecretary]

                          ❛  I'm way too exhausted to deal

                             with anymore bullshit today. ❜

[manjirou-sano]

いざなみらくがき

[xlivestogo-archive-blog]

psa:

[cynicalsecretary]

if i fuck up anything in our post — be it a major point of your character history or just a tiny, nitpicky error — please go ahead and let me know. or if anything i wrote makes you uncomfortable as the writer i’ll change it immediately, no questions asked. or if my post makes it difficult for you to respond because it just doesn’t give you enough to get those creative juices flowing, that’s ok. i will be happy to provide more creative lubricant. come in my inbox.

[frommemetoyou]

SEND ME A SHIP INVOLVING MY MUSE AND I'LL TELL YOU;

Who would be the big spoon?

Who would wake up first?

Do they have nicknames for each other?

What happened when they met each other’s parents?

How do they apologise after an argument?

What would they be like as parents?

Who is the better cook?

Who is more romantic?

What sort of gifts do they get for each other?

Who gets jealous easiest?

Who gets more excited for events e.g.. Birthdays, Christmas?

Who is the most adventurous?

Who is the most protective?

What would they have been like as childhood sweethearts?

*BONUS: Song to sum them up?*

 Do I ship it?

 NOTP / Crack only / AU only / Not really / Maybe a little / Well now I do/ Yes/ Of course! / OTP

[of-monsters-and-enigmas-archive]

臨波と静波

Pixiv ID: 25638744 Member: かおり

[cynicalsecretary]

switchbladeromance  originaltrickster blood-sucking-flea unraveling-insanity uzainomi

     Namie scowled at the sight of the informant leisurely walking through the door. He had been gone all day and the phone ringing off the hook, leaving her to do the most tedious task ever.. dealing with clients.

                            ❛ About time you got back, you've

                                 only missed hundreds of calls.❜

[cynicalsecretary]

are boys worth it? the answer is no

[rpmemes-gallery]

; munday

[cynicalsecretary]

name: Mary birthday: february 1 gender: female orientation: i go between the labels bisexual and lesbian a lot age: 16 favorite candy: i love too many to choose favorite pizza: hawaiian favorite salad dressing: caesar favorite meal: sauteed shrimp with lemon sauce best friend(s): idk best relative: lmao best pet: my cat Aldo best celebrity: If Nicki Minaj, Beyonce, or Rihanna showed up to my door this second and said 'lets run away togethor' i would pack my fucking bags. one random fact about your day: I actually did my homework and didn't skip class today one random fact about your job/school: my school literally has a school rap  one random fact about your favorite tv show: Dio brando is trash but i love him one random fact you wish was a fact but it isn’t: shizuo being real favorite soda: dr.pepper best memory: either getting wasted and nearly kicked out of a hotel with friends or sneaking into the hot tub at 3 am with friends and surviving on onigiri and cookie dough for 3 days one random fact about you: im bitchy af but i'm moderatley funny so its worth it

tag five people: anyone.

[super-paper]

Original ★ Artist

[flirtwiththemonster-blog]

[cynicalsecretary]

“It happens to everyone, you just sell your skirt for some coke.”

    It took everything in her power not to slap him across the face, she clenched her eyes shut, grinding her teeth. 

                                   ❛Fuck off. ❜

[comerpwithme]

STRANGE SENTENCE STARTERS —— for the creative writer in you. Send these in and see what your partner comes up with as a scenario!

*These are completely interchangeable, they’re just in categories to make it easier for all of y’all.

FOR AMIGOS;

“How many times are you going to do that, exactly?”

“You were right. As per usual.”

“Sometimes it’s hard to see the lines you’ve drawn until you’ve crossed them.”

“You’re surprised because you have a soft spot for hot blondes.”

“Is that – that’s a naked Scarlett Johansson on your fridge.”

“You can stay, but for no more than two nights.”

“Please don’t look in this drawer. Please.”

“I told you not to pick him up, he’s very sensitive.”

“Yes. I might have given you rabies. But in my defense, that’s ridiculous and I didn’t.”

“I’m sorry, my cell phone data coverage does not cover the bullshit zone you’re in.”

“Hey! Give me your pants. Quick, give me your pants.”

“No, I’m serious. Stop it right now or I won’t give you the last cookie.”

“You think I’m kidding. But I’ve never been more serious about anything in my entire life.”

“How much would a stripper cost and why so much?”

“I’m going to buy you a drink. Next week. On Thursday. When I get paid. Can you swing this one?”

“Hippos are hungry, hungry! And you are considerably larger than a small piece of lettuce!”

“When I was little, I used to be afraid of mummies. And now look at me. I love dead people!”

“I don’t even miss my ex-boyfriends/girlfriends, I just miss my glockenspiel.”

“It happens to everyone, you just sell your skirt for some coke.”

“Please do not pull your pants down in front of baby Jesus.”

“That’s not the phrasing you want to use.”

“Because nothing says heterosexuality like a gold sash.”

“Please don’t take it out on my boobs.”

“When it gets really windy I look like a bizarre combination of Marilyn Monroe and Cousin It.”

“We have to change our names and run away to Mexico. It’s the only way. Adios.”

“How much money do you have on you?”

“Please tell me that’s a raisin and not a tiny hamster shit you’re eating.”

“Life is a lot better when you put things on your head.”

“For someone who’s not very deep, I’m incredibly not shallow.”

FOR LOVERS;

“I need you to remind me what it feels like to love you.”

“I love you. What? No I don’t. Forget I said anything.”

“I need you to tickle my feet but like, sexually.”

“If we got married, would I have to take your last name? Or could we just make up a new one?”

“I don’t think I can do this anymore.”

“I heard you say his/her name in your sleep last night. Want to explain or should I just leave?”

“I want to spend the night with you tonight. But I also want to sleep on your side. And without you on the bed. So technically I just want your bed.”

“Please don’t be proposing to me in an empty parking lot.”

“Stop saying you’re sorry, you stupid fucking broken record. It’s done.”

“I’m not jealous, I’m curious. About the things you were doing. With him/her. Without me.”

“Your mother’s looks could kill. Actually, are you sure they haven’t before?”

“If you’re breaking up with me tonight, can I at least eat first?”

“Stop sweating. It’s not attractive during sex, and it’s not attractive now.”

“Are you – are you checking me out? In the line for the confessional?”

“We have to go. I might have told your mom I’m pregnant. I don’t know why I said that. I’m not.”

“So what you’re saying it that you’re snorting sugar to get excited for sex.”

“My dog licks better than you do.”

“But through every stupid thing you do and say – and those are a lot, by the way – I love you.”

“I don’t care if you’re growing another head. I’ll talk to both of them. I love you.”

“And I’d take fifty years of not talking to you for just a day of doing so. I promise that’s a compliment.”

“I don’t want to hide this anymore. I’m not some dirty little secret, you American Reject.”

“This is a bit too dramatic for my taste, so can we skip it and have sex instead?”

“I don’t want you to think of me as your personal sex toy.”

“Thanks and all, but that makes me feel like a low-class escort, so.”

“A kiss in exchange for every nice thing you say about me. Deal?”

“Promise me you’re not like him/her. I need to hear it from your mouth. Promise me.”

“Look, I’ve had my heart broken before. I’m not ready to let you in just yet. Anywhere.”

“Don’t leave me here. Anywhere else, okay, but not here.”

“I wish I could say that was the worst sex I ever had, but I’ve had worse.”

“I just blew you. Could you look a little happier about it?”

“I’m attracted to shiny things, so if it looks like I’m staring at your chest, it’s because I am.”

FOR TEXTERS;

[text] This is upsetting my poop.

[text] Hey, are you up? If you’re not, can you wake up? I need some help.

[text] So it involves feces and large birds.

[text] She said that to you? Why?

[text] Please come back. I miss you.

[text] What are you good for if you’re not gonna bring me ice cream?

[text] Can you ignore that last text? It wasn’t meant for you. I’m sorry.

[text] …did you just send me a nude?

[text] FUCK OFF YOU ONE-EYED WHORE.

[text] I don’t know why I said that.

[text] Leave it to you to fuck the simplest of requests up.

[text] Do we have to go to their wedding? He’s only my first cousin.

[text] How much does ‘I love you’ mean to you?

[text] I am not stalking you. But you should do something about your bathroom, it’s gross.

[text] Please. I need this so badly.

[text] I trust you completely.

[text] I’m a genius. You’re a peasant. Everything makes sense again.

[text] Hey, buddy! Got like, five hundred bucks I can borrow? Times ten.

[text] She lost it. She completely lost it. She said her uterus was attacking her bone marrow.

[text] I will not get you donuts.

[text] Please? I love you.

[text] I think I’m gonna go to sleep now, but you keep thinking that.

[text] I can’t say this out loud. They might be listening.

[text] I never meant to hurt you. I didn’t think he’d duck when the ball came at him, I’m sorry.

[text] You’re cute.

[text] I just need you to understand how important you are to me.

[text] Fuck off.

[text] Okay. Guess we’ll leave it at that then.

[cynicalsecretary]

pecusx 

    While working for Izaya she had met Shizuo numerous times (most being quite brief). Seeing him in a more calm atmosphere seemed almost alien, like the entire scene was staged. She shook her head, tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She sat down across from him, calmly looking up to meet his eyes.

                       ❛ Is there a particular reason

                           you called me out here today?❜

[cynicalsecretary]

xaziro

started following you.

   Namie's eyes flickered over to Izaya, the expression setting on his face being all too familiar. He was up to another precious scheme, pulling the strings of the city from a desktop computer. A certain part of her respected the absolute manipulator he was... though she would never admit that.

                         ❛That rotten smile of yours 

                            is like a child in a toy store.❜