The Department of Anomalous Containment and Research

This is Beau's blog where she keeps all her tabletop stuff.

[dacr-unofficial]

Merlin: Listen, I need you to swear-

Caelan: FUCK.

Merlin:

Merlin: Swear as in promise.

[dacr-unofficial]

“The average person eats about 2 people a year while they sleep.”

- Meri

[dacr-unofficial]

Tadd: Hey Jade-

Jade, sighing: Heather used to call me Jade...

Tadd: Because it's your fucking name?

[dacr-unofficial]

Tadd: Hey, I've seen worse.

Megan: Really?!

Tadd: No. We are most definitely fucked.

[dacr-unofficial]

Maude: Pass me a napkin.

SEU: Is milady's arm broken?

Maude: Yours is about to be.

[dacr-unofficial]

Caelan: You know, I've been thinking...

SEU: That would explain the beads of sweat.

[dacr-unofficial]

Maude: Aren't you gay?

Melanie: I like how you imply that I have done something heterosexual. If so, I apologize.

[dacr-unofficial]

SEU: You're scamming them?

Maude: I was thinking more like flat out stealing from them.

[dacr-unofficial]

Caelan: How does it feel to be the worst ever, huh?

Maude: Shut up, your mother buys you megablocks instead of legos.

Caelan, choking back his tears: You fucking take that back.

[dacr-unofficial]

Caelan: It's just like chess. Sometimes, to win, you have to sacrifice your king.

SEU: That's exactly how you lose.

[dacr-unofficial]

SEU: I admit, I fancy myself more as an intellectual, but I can assure you, as a human, I've had my fair share of tussles.

Caelan: Like the mushroom?

SEU: Those are truffles.

Caelan: ...Like the sprout?

SEU: Those are brussels.

[dacr-unofficial]

SEU: This calls for a delicate blend of psychology and extreme violence.

[dacr-unofficial]

Joe: Where are you going?

Maude: To either get ice cream or commit a felony. I'll decide in the car.

[dacr-unofficial]

Joe: Whoa, you're being a little-

SEU: Obstreperous? Recalcitrant? Truculent?

Joe: I was going to say "cray-cray".

[dacr-unofficial]

Joe: It's hard being the dad friend sometimes, but I love my friends and that's what matters-

Caelan: Mom! I tried to make ramen in the coffee pot and I broke everything!

[dacr-unofficial]

Merlin: Maude, I never doubted you for a moment!

Maude: Thank you, Merlin. You're lying, though.

Merlin: Oh, yes. I doubted you very strongly.

[dacr-unofficial]

Maude: I didn't want to do this, but I know one way we can get the money.

Caelan: You'd make a decent prostitute.

Maude: I'd make an amazing prostitute, but I was actually talking about this guy I know.