Blog's been dead for two years but I'm back with updates lolololol
My therapist introduced me to the concept of internal family systems a couple weeks ago and I'm having the realization that daemonism for me has served as a pretty solid precursor to that!
Rune's still around. He chimes in from time to time but is mostly dormant/integrated. Still the voice of reason and the smartest person in the room. Now I kind of recognize him as one of my parts, or facets, as I call em. He's one of many, so let me introduce y'all to a couple more.
My therapy homework assignment this past week has been to get acquainted with Fawn and Nuke. I think that Fawn is one of my firefighters and Nuke is one of my exiles. Fawn is named after the trauma response that she embodies. She's pretty young, and has learned the art of rolling over and accepting mistreatment, especially if she thinks it prevents greater mistreatment or the cessation of important relationships. She's a people pleaser through and through, to the point of being a doormat.
Nuke is younger than Fawn, and hates Fawn with every fiber of their being. This is because Nuke really loathes being disrespected. Nuke wants me to be a badass who doesn't take shit from anyone. Nuke wants to rain hellfire upon our enemies. They will throw down with god in a Denny's parking lot and they view Fawn as a stubborn and immovable obstacle. Nuke represents the suppressed rage I carry, whose impotence only begets greater rage.
So that's one firefighter and one exile. Some of my managers are The Diplomat and The Narrator. The Diplomat is perhaps an older sibling or parent figure to Fawn: wiser and cunning enough to figure out how to keep the peace by finding acceptable compromises with others. The Diplomat isn't afraid to make sacrifices to keep the peace, but they can do so in a way that maintains our integrity. I think that when push comes to shove, I go from The Diplomat to Fawn pretty quickly. And The Narrator is the part of me that craves understanding and hates being misunderstood. The Narrator needs to rationalize everything and over-explain myself so as not to be misunderstood.
Another potential manager that I have yet to bring up to my therapist (but that she'll probably agree with), I've been calling The Performer. The Performer is charming and charismatic, lively and fun to be around. The Performer is the life of the party and down for whatever adventure you can throw at him. Extremely easy to get along with, that one.
