Public Enema No. 1

I love men, monsters, and muscles ⟡ Call me a Happy Meal the way I come with a little toy

[tle13]

[iamoutofideas]

didn’t even realise goku had heart disease

[coughloop]

Fake fans everywhere

[redstonedust]

'being single sucks because youll be lonely' lame and untrue. 'being single sucks because a lot of groceries are portioned to make food for more than one person and you cant really take advantage of buying in bulk because it'll go bad before you use it all' this i cannot deny.

[coffeepeople]

One time a friend told me that if she wanted to have a chill night she would come to me and ask for tea and a book to read. I didn’t like tea at the time, but I always made sure my cupboards had them in case she needed a quiet night. One time I told my boss that I loved oranges, but couldn’t peel them because of my nails. For a year he made sure to peel me one at least once a week. Once my friends gave me a made up superlative of “most likely to have a pen they could borrow” and ever since I’ve made sure I always carry a pen with me. A long time ago, my high school librarian told me that no one would care what my grade in my sophomore chemistry class was if I’m bringing them doughnuts and asking them about their day.

[coffeepeople]

Sometimes friendship is about carrying pens and peeling oranges. But the point is, surrounding yourself with people who you want to do the little things for. The point of it all is bringing in the doughnuts because you’ve found the people who deserve the doughnuts.

[big-smiling-monkey]

How sweet it is to be with people you enjoy taking care of

[virtualgirladvance]

[the-quasar-hero]

You can make a movie with where the only white character is a man named Ray Cism whose one line of his 16 seconds of screen time is “I seriously hate women and minorities.” and you’ll find fifty bajillion reader x Ray Cism fanfics and renaissance style drawings of him with a halo of golden light

[mayhamster]

Holy fuck

[my-dailydreams]

[thoodleoo]

oh so when other people call a baby "cute enough to eat" it's sweet and charming. but when i, cronus,

[pussyronin-deactivated20260120]

Me: my god.. i did it.. i killed him..!

Angel on my shoulder: we're extremely fortunate. You shot him in the side of the head and you're wearing gloves. Place the gun in his hand and set the house ablaze. Officer Goger's tragic suicide will be the perfect cover story

Devil on my shoulder: Goger was always eating stuffing and spelt wheat and steel cut oats. Bet he'd taste reeeeal good on a spit with an apple in his mouth. Come on, i've seen the way you've looked at him..

My tulpa, a 6'9" DD smokeshow hottie PS1 graphics anthro leopard girl in a lab coat: you must put a baby in me Your Highness, quickly!

[bedupolker]

Donnie darko if it was good

[daezedglownut]

@l1zardl1ps

[cloudabserk]

“fujoshis are harmful to gay men” not this gay man.

[cloudabserk]

on twitter this got a bunch of responses like “wow even the evil fujoshis? the homophobic yet hypocritically fetishistic ones? what if the fujoshi is racist?” and like well no obviously not in that case.

[cloudabserk]

“shoutout to everybody from new jersey!” “even the new jersey serial killers…?”

[butchfagminotaur]

[blair-kamo]

[everymangavegeta]

[propanepimp]

[perfectly-cell-centric]

This little tidbit came to mind from that last ask.

“I don't care how unmotivated you are! Pick up that pen, and draw my Perfect Jawline!"

There ya roach, I got motivated XD

[mtsodie]

genuinely so obsessed with this twitter post

[evilnermal]

there was another update

[special-lucky-chosen-one]

couldn't find a thread with both the followups together

Not on purpose!

[wyrmicelli]

me tongue-deep in a sandalwood candle: 🤤

the tjmaxx employee loading a fourth tranquilizer dart into their blowgun: i need backup

[snowown]

[lostcryptids]

the problem with horror now is there is no men in little tank tops and booty shorts

[deadmentellnotales13]

[mint-stone]