Life of Da Muffin

I'm a pretty typical person. I love fantasy a ton. Politically I'm pretty in the middle. Rat mama to four great boys. Dog mama to one beautiful girl lab. Part time employee at Petsmart (self-titled rat genius) and part time student. Fandom-wise, I love Doctor Who, Supernatural, Merlin, and other stuff... If I've watched it I probably like it. :-) :-)

[groenendaze]

if u put dogs in scarves u get………this

[daibora]

Wanna hear a secret?

I’m not over these past few years. Since turning 23 my life changed so much. I left my ex, who promptly turned around and married his new girlfriend within these two, almost three years. I still am not over losing my pets. Particularly Oz. I’m not over my boyfriend “not cheating because we weren’t together yet” even though we have learned to talk about it and somewhat resolve things. I’m not over the nostalgia of friendships that are most definitely over. I’m not over school, though it’s almost done. I’m fighting so hard, but I’m not over anything and I’m just near the end of my rope. I’ve been doubting everything. Besides my education. I’m pretty clear that my education will be completed here soon.

[daibora]

Elementary Student Teaching-Are You a Boy or a Girl?

I'm student teaching for elementary music right now. My first week I was anticipating the "are you a boy or a girl" question... and it came. But in the most hilarious way possible that's too good not to share.

*introduced to the classroom*

Student: I have a question.

Me: Yes.

Student: YOU LOOK LIKE BATMAN! (explains why my eyeliner makes me look like Batman.)

Me: ...thanks.

*few minutes later

Student 2: Why does it look like your wearing make-up?

Me: Because I am.

Student 2: Only girls wear make-up.

Me: No, you're wrong.

Student 2: Are you a girl?

Me: ...nooo, I'm not a...

Student 2: YOU'RE WONDER WOMAN!

Me: Oh gosh.

Student 2: I'm keeping my eyes on you!!!!

(If the spectrum were set-up between Batman and Wonder Woman... that would be awesome, and not terrible.)

[nadhie]

my dad just exploded into laughter out of nowhere and told me ‘imagine the lion king but with sea lions’ he has been chuckling about it for 5 straight minutes now

[nadhie]

apparently it doesn’t matter that i’ve told him 10 times it’s the monkey who raises the newborn and not the lion himself, this is the scene he has been imagining

“he can’t raise his kid over his head”

[wakingfromthewater]

I want it

[crockpotcauldron]

okay but have you considered

[imaginarylock]

quality content

[thorinobsessed]

Extreme quality

[janetbrown711]

@squorkal can it be my job to find you seal posts? Because I want that job

[squorkal]

[humansofnewyork]

“We had a Native American museum today in third grade and the whole school came. I’ve been looking forward to it ever since second grade when I learned that third graders get to make dioramas. The museum was open from 10:15 to 10:45 or something like that. There was a cooking section where we gave out pumpkin bread. Then there was a tools and artifacts section. My table was in the games section. I put my snow snake on display. Snow snake is a very fun game in my opinion, but only four people came to my table. They said: ‘What is that?’ And I said: ‘It’s a snow snake. You can read about it on my poster.’ Then they looked at my poster for two seconds and went to get some pumpkin bread.“

[a-girl-and-her-rats]

Introductions have been going very well! I started out in the bath tub and after about twenty minutes with no signs of aggression (just a few ‘LET ME OUT OF THIS TUB MOM’s) I decided to move on to the next step and let them meet on my bed- a normal place I hang out with Oz.

There was some power grooming. I was nervous because when we introduced Vlad to the boys they HATED power grooming. Well, I think Cena is the exact opposite! When Oz wasn’t grooming him a few times Cena went up to him and basically pushed him into grooming him. Then they started grooming themselves. I didn’t expect this to be so successful so fast, so I’m really happy. =) Idk, maybe Vlad just power groomed way too hard or something? But this is great, they’re getting along great.

Immediately Cena discovered Oz’s favorite perch spot in this room- by the old radio. (Don’t worry, it’s not hooked up and I watch them very carefully to make sure that they don’t mess with the wires when they’re over there.)

All-in-all, today was a success! They’re in their separate cages right now, but when I clean them on Wednesday, if everything is well, they will be living in the smaller cage together! Not the larger one because the bars are too wide, we’ll graduate to that as Cena gets bigger. Success!

[daibora]

Cena baby is getting old. He's lost use of his back legs and I don't know how much longer I'll force him to stay in this world. I'm sure he misses Oz. It's hard letting my rat babies leave me. Cena has been such a great pet.

[daibora]

I'm strong

Yet it takes a lot to remain that way.

I don't know.

I keep thinking I'm strong, maybe I'm not...

Don't get me wrong, I'm happy. With my life's progress and with my boyfriend. He's trying to find a job and move to be with me.

I feel lonely, though.

And my ex is getting married in four months. We never talk. I shouldn't be so upset. I have my boyfriend. I love him. But nostalgia hits...

I saw a throwback picture of us that first year and the only real smile I had in a picture pre 2011.

I see pictures of him and his fiance and the clothes he wears... I was there when he bought half of them. Most if not all are older than the relationship he's in now. I was there when he bought the shirt for his engagement photos.... Hell, I think I helped him pick it out.

I just can't help myself from looking at his Facebook.

He's not the person I loved but I didn't expect it to get to this point, where we're perfect strangers.

Maybe this is just rough because I don't see my boyfriend all of the time, because I'm so lonely...

But there's another part of me that is worried that he is just going to move here and I won't be what he's expected.

I'm already kind of having to mother him from afar, be responsible for him.

I don't want to be a mom to my man, that's why I left my ex.

I'm just... sad and unhappy tonight.

[daibora]

I'm wondering if I'm actually okay or making a big deal out of nothing.

It's like... am I actually depressed? Or just over dramatic...

I've had the urge to cut out everyone and everything. To just stay in my room, alone, not leave my bed.

It's unacceptable.

So I go out there and do my schoolwork, because that's what I'm supposed to do. I go to events. Talk to people. Make jokes. hell, I was in a wedding this weekend. I have an awesome boyfriend, albiet long distance... I'm never actually alone.

But I feel really alone lately.

Maybe I'm making a big deal out of nothing.

I want to tell Adam about this pain I'm feeling but I don't want to ruin his trip.

I think about breaking up with him daily because it's just too hard and it'll probably happen anyways. Who knows if it'll be tomorrow or three years from now.

I don't know.

and on the other hand.... I don't want anyone to be concerned about me.

it's bothersome at times if they check up on me. It's a waste of their time. they're not actually interested, they don't really care, so why ask.

I'm exhausted.

[daibora]

I don't know if I'm overdramatic or if there's actually something wrong with me, and that horrifies me.

[daibora]

How many times have you died, yet kept breathing?

I have twice.

[daibora]

You know you're a little messed up from your last relationship when you think it'd be easier to break up with your boyfriend instead of having a conversation that might turn into a fight. Fighting is terrible.

[daibora]

It's not "getting over" my first love that's my problem. I am completely over him. My problem is the side effects that came with the ending of a seven year long relationship. The fear that comes with that, the skepticism of another relationship working. That is my problem.

[daibora]

Long-Distance is challenging and not something I’ll attempt again if we don’t work out.

I seriously like my boyfriend. We haven’t officially brought up that silly “L” word yet. I think he’s such a great guy. I mean, he has his issues- don’t we all? And I see some serious road blocks in front of us... Though, to be fair, there are already a few we’ve jumped over.

Having Him in my life has been a huge joy to me- but has also been exhausting and confusing. He says some things, he does other things... I some times have no clue what he wants from me. We go crazily fast on some things, like sex, but when it came to being “official”... It took about six months for him to be comfortable with it.

My instincts yell at me that I need to get out at times... So far I’m ignoring them, because I really care for this idjit. I feel like he just needs time, patience... and where am I really going? I already spent seven years of my life with Nick... if things go downhill with this guy, I’m pretty sure he’ll figure it out pretty soon... I have 3 years until my “real life” starts. Hopefully he can figure out what he wants within that time.

I fear, with distance, things... just won’t work. He has a certain need for physicality that I won’t be able to keep up with as a full time student at school. I can’t move to Wisconsin- not yet. I can’t afford rent by myself, Tim most likely will move with his boyfriend, and my boyfriend isn’t ready for that commitment... nor will I ever force him to make a move of that sort.

Speaking of that... I’m still so screwed up over my past relationship, it’s hideous. 

The most recent thing that’s really bugging me... We talked about when we’d move in together. He doesn’t want to move in together until we’re engaged. I’m over here hoping that we can kind of move a little bit forward in this next year or two, maybe I’d finish my education in Wisco... Well, that destroyed my hope. Because I can’t move to Wisco on my own to be closer to Him so we can date more.  Because I can’t even imagine accepting a proposal from a man I haven’t lived with for a year. I lived with Nick for, what, three or four years... things went to shambles. You don’t know your significant other until you live with them. I lived with Nick and things fell so far apart. He started taking me for granted. What’s to say that won’t happen again with Him? Not to mention he had one serious girlfriend before me, and that was in high school? He hasn’t even gotten to that point in a relationship yet, the point where you’re getting tired of the other person, the point where you almost have to choose to keep loving them.... What if He gets to that point and He finds that he doesn’t really like me as much as he thought he did?

There’s other things. I’m so prepared for him to leave. Always. So I feel like I have one foot in and another out of the relationship. Like, hey, it’s great if I get to keep him, but he’ll probably find another that catches his interest more... I don’t want my heart broken again. I don’t think I can survive it being broken again. It completely destroyed me the first time. I want to trust him, so much, but... Well, things that happened before we were “together” makes it hard.... 

Then the fact that he hasn’t said he loves me yet... or not even knowing if he does... or can.... I don’t want to be in a relationship with someone who doesn’t love me again. I’m so scared. Because I always love people more. I always get attached. I always invest more than they do. I don’t... I don’t want that again.

I’m tired. I’m confused. I really like this guy. I really want it to work. He lifts me up so much. I have definitely come into myself more as a woman due to him. I’m confident now. I’m so happy when I’m around him and I feel so special. He makes me want to be a better person. He’s got such a massive, sweet heart... I want to say that I hope I can earn his love some day. But part of me thinks that if he doesn’t feel that way about me now, he probably won’t ever. Love doesn’t just appear one day out of nowhere- it finds you.

I’m tired. Physically. I’m going to rest. But soon I’ll be spending a week with him again. I miss him already.

[daibora]

On some level I miss Nick. He was there for all of my moments of weakness. He stood by me, listened to me, gave me advice, held me.... told me that things will be okay.... I don't get this any more. Especially with a "long distance boyfriend". I feel alone constantly. Not only that, I don't want to tell him this because it'll make me seem weaker. When I'm with him, everything seems okay for a split second. When I'm not, anxiety piles on me. I don't know. It's been a rough week. I'm tired of feeling alone and hurt.

[rachol]

[blanketforyourshock]

you know ive hit quality blogging when i post a picture of 16 vicars riding oblivion

#oh my god

That’s what they said

[roseforthethorns]

I love how many of them are praying

[heaven-and-hale-deactivated2015]

man that one in the front right corner just does not give a fuck

[vassraptor]

And by looking at that picture, you can experience the roller coaster… vicariously.

[cumaeansibyl]

even better than the one in the front right corner: the one in the front middle who’s like HELL YEAH HELL YEAH HELL YEAH

[oradianto]

😂

[quantumstarlight]

Wait but there are more! 

[alixabethmay]

Now this is the sort of quality religious content I want to see on my dashboard

[mishasminions]

SEEMS LIKE A HELL OF A RIDE

[thedeepwalrus]

HOLY WATER SLIDE

[daibora]

My Ex got engaged today

Hahaha I needed a laugh after this terrible week of mono and losing Oz...

[peterfromtexas-deactivated20250]

Reenactor throws a spear at a drone

[supapoopa]

What a time to be alive.

[tenthcorner]

“The medieval warrior, realizing the consequences of his impulsive act, immediately approached the owner of the drone and offered to pay for the damage.

The owner of the drone was so impressed by the brilliant attack that he suggested organizing a competition for bringing down “dragons” with short spears next year.

Drone owners have another year to develop a unique “dragon-like” design for their flying machines.” (x)

[kineticpenguin]

I am 100% cooler with this knowing that the spear-thrower realized “oops maybe I shouldn’t have done that” and tried to make it right, and that the guy who the drone belonged to was cool with it

[brunhiddensmusings]

just so everyone knows, this has already been memorialized in a runestone

[stephendann]

Everything about this post blesses those involved with a +4 on their next Today is Good Day roll