it’s been a while, so here’s another resource post that hopefully will be more helpful and targeted.
character death is very difficult to deal with when the character in question is someone you’re in love with. there are plenty of ways to cope with it, but those vary from person to person. this is an issue i’m familiar with (i’ve had f/os die before) so hopefully this will be helpful to someone other than me. i’ll touch on just a few possibilities for how people may choose to approach the death of their beloved f/o.
the most common approach seems to be to either AU away the death or focus on the character’s time before the death. those both work very well. the nature of a fictional love necessitates the use of one’s imagination, so it makes perfect sense to take artistic license with the events of the character’s canon. maybe you simply don’t acknowledge canon past a certain point. maybe you have a divergent storyline, where before the unfortunate event things changed and it never happened. perhaps you save your f/o from their death. in your mind, it’s possible to avoid this subject or erase it if it’s painful to you. that’s a wonderful thing.
however, sometimes a death is an important part of a character arc. sometimes someone may wish not to erase ANY aspect of their f/o’s life, even their eventual death. in those cases, it is still possible to accept that death without giving up on your beloved. for example, some people prefer to view their relationships as literally interdimensional, with the character in question being fully aware of all points of their canon. in such a case, the character may remember this death but still be “alive” in the sense that their partner actively imagines them to be. in other cases, individuals nurture their affections while simultaneously accepting the fact that their beloved is deceased, and incorporate even this death into the story of their relationship.
in the past, i’ve employed several of these methods, sometimes more than one at a time. the circumstances of a character’s death and the type of the relationship both influence greatly which approaches might best help one cope with the knowledge of their f/o’s passing. this varies so much, it’s impossible to list every approach which can be taken. ultimately, however, one must either deny the death or accept it. there are advantages and disadvantages to any approach in this regard.
allow yourself time to comprehend your own feelings. understanding what pains you most about the death will help you find the right path in easing that pain. for many people who connect so strongly to fictional characters, dealing with a fictional other’s death can be an ordeal. be gentle with yourself. remember, above all, that no matter what the circumstances of their death, this character is not gone — they still exist, and in most cases you can freely revisit their living moments if it brings you comfort.
as always, my ask is open. if you’re having trouble deciding how to approach a character’s death, or don’t even know where to begin, i’m here.
pixelskylines
amandla
