dialogue prompts that really butter my eggroll
”Wait, when did I take off my clothes?”
“I am fully convinced you never graduated kindergarden.”
“I’m not here, actually, this is a projection from… Mars… I moved there recently.”
“This is going to sound controversial, but I think that went well.”
“You have no idea how to make a toast?!”
“I haven’t showered in four days.”
“Tell them how you screwed up.”
“Until the day you learn how to start a normal conversation, I will have to be there to fix the messes you make.”
“You’re more zombie than human.”
“I don’t know what the question was but without a doubt my answer is ‘I don’t know’.”
“We settle this the old fashion way, like real men: dance off.”
“Well this just scrambles my eggs.”
“Look, I’m not the brightest tool in the… toolbox.”
“I am the backbone of this household.”
”With all due respect, I’m going to ignore everything you just said.”
“You have the audacity to wake me up but not actually die.”
“This is pretty funny, though.”
“That’s because of my complete and utter failure of being a well-mannered, functioning member of society.”
“You got me detective… looks like I’m going to liars jail.”
“I have one speed: none.”
“You did this! You’re still doing it!”