Who's The Man?

Damien Dalgaard - 17 - trouble why be a king-- --When you can be a god?

[dalgaardisms]

notsolovely-lili :

Let’s just chill out, okay? The world’s gonna keep turning, we’re still gonna have to apply to colleges and let’s be real, we already know each other’s business. We’re the kids of notorious gossips. Deep, cleansing breaths.

Yep, good advice. Upper East Siders are all so good at chilling out and being calm. No dramatics or anything, ever. Me, though? I’m always cool. I mean, in a chill, calm sense, not in a ‘I’m proclaiming myself cool’ sense, because you....can’t...do that. At least not if you actually want to be cool.

You’re cool, though. If we’re talking about cool people, which we kind of were. Anyways, I’m breathing, like you said. Good advice.

[dalgaardisms]

Alissa Dalgaard considers herself the only Dalgaard who has any sense. She’s practical and stubborn and refuses to give in to the peer pressure of her drug dealing relatives. Not that she cares what her half-sister does, but it’s still annoying to have her reputation hanging over the family like that. Alissa herself is pretty notorious around the UES, but for very different reasons. She doesn’t have the charm or charisma needed to sell people on an idea of their own free will, so she resorts to throwing money or threats around. That, paired with her bad habit of swearing revenge on anyone who pisses her off, have lead the term “Georgina Sparks 2.0″ to be thrown around a lot whenever she’s out of earshot.

She does, however, have a soft spot for one thing: pretty girls. She’s a scary, mean badass who could totally make someone disappear if she needed to, but she gets all tongue-tied whenever she’s around a girl. It’s really inconvenient, and she’d like it to stop, but since that doesn’t seem like it’ll be happening any time soon, she’s resolved to just avoid girls entirely until she gets her shit together. That’s proving to be more difficult than she’d anticipated, mostly because every girl on the UES is unnaturally beautiful.

Thanks to a pretty girl she couldn’t figure out how to say no to, Alissa’s recently been hoodwinked into joining the school play, something she’s not looking forward to at all. She’s read the script, and she knows her character has a kiss scene she’ll need to suffer through near the end--if she doesn’t pull the fire alarm to escape first. Despite all of this, Alissa doesn’t really mind school. It’s nice to have a place to get away from the insanity that is her family, and when she’s busy trying to understand math and SAT prep words, she can’t be worried about her sister.

FACTS:

18 years old

Senior at Constance

Daughter of Damien Dalgaard and Jenny Humphrey

FC:Kathryn Newton

She can and WILL fuck you up, don’t forget it

She’s run away from home 16 times

CONNECTIONS:

Niki Mahdavi: Alissa’s been hardcore crushing on her since she realized she liked girls, and it’s just a teeeeeny bit inconvenient to have to see her at school every day. Also it was totally a mistake to follow her on snapchat, Alissa doesn’t need to see her cute selfies, puppy filter or no.

[dalgaardisms]

archibaldgoldenboy :

Thanks, man. I guess insensitivity is better than the weird looks or the mom-ing I’ve been getting instead so don’t worry about it. Can you believe my hair ever looked as good as it did at the ball? I’m just a shadow of my former self. I… I will. It’s just, there’s one too many lawyers in my house right and I’d rather wait until there weren’t. Me parading around in a towel probably isn’t gonna help anyone’s case. Probably.

Yeah, don’t worry, I would never mom you. I’m more of a second cousin than a mom or dad of a friend group. Honestly? Yeah. The way people talk around here you’d think Nate Archibald’s hair was magic. Unless you’re going by Vanderbilt now. I....[and shit, there’s the guilt. He could probably feel more of it--no, he could definitely feel more of it--but the fact that he was feeling any of it at all was unsettling. Gross.] Why don’t you come hang out at my place for a while today? I’m unofficially crashing with the Huntzberger-Reyes’s, but I’m sure they won’t mind the extra body around for a bit. Unless you think you could seduce a lawyer and get her to help your case if you go back home....

[officercalloway]

Spitting gum out is littering. And not to mention completely unladylike. I recommend you put that in a wrapper and that wrapper in the nearest waste-bin. Uck. Here, have some hand sanitizer.

[dalgaardisms]

What are you, the gum police? Chill. Everybody’s just living out here, try to enjoy yourself, too, or something.

[archibaldgoldenboy]

This has got to be the longest day ever.

[dalgaardisms]

Dude. You look wrecked. That was probably insensitive, but somebody needs to give it to you straight. You should....shower or something. Not or something--just shower. Please.

[dalgaardisms]

gigi-sparks :

You still know me so well, D. Obvi though, I don’t want my grand return to be built on bullshit either and I’m pretty sure in this one, excellent instance I won’t have to manufacture anything. Nothing grabs attention like a comeback, just look at Serena van der Woodsen. There would only be one way to find out, wouldn’t there? I bet Gossip Girl keeps more than a few dirty dirty secrets in her ’do not post’ pile. Maybe pushing her buttons would force her hand, make her go nuclear and then what would we do? Sounds awesome, right? If anyone was going to do it… If anyone could, I mean, duh.

You’re right… Rome wasn’t built in a day and it definitely wasn’t built without a caramel cream frappacino. You’re buying, right? I can only imagine how much Howie paid you last night. [ winks ] Ooh, you might be a little too close for comfort on that theory. Let’s just say I couldn’t stay away.

See, you still have that devious mind I remember. You couldn’t have picked a worse day to make a gossip-worthy splash, though. Have you heard about the mess the Fairchild Ball turned into? Total disaster, the FBI crashed and there were punches being thrown. I heard it all ended with the host making a dramatic exit into a helicopter waiting on the roof set to the musical stylings of Nicki Minaj’s Anaconda, but some of that might have been exaggerated through the grapevine. That...could end really badly. Or it could end really fun for us. Honestly it would be a gamble I’d go for, but you might not like the odds. Ha, well, you definitely could, I know that for a fact.

I, uh, I don’t think Starbucks was around back in the day, but they were definitely chugging whatever the boozy equivalent of a caramel cream frappacino is. ‘Course I am. What good is my dad’s charge card if I can’t use it to buy a pretty girl a drink? I hit him where it hurt with the party pricing, but I almost feel bad now that I know his family is gonna have their accounts frozen or some shit while the FBI figures out this fraud stuff. Not enough to give the money back, or anything, but still. Damn, you really are still a bad girl. Glad to have you back, G.

[dalgaardisms]

juvenile-jenny :

“So you’re charging other girls?” It was a joke and her smile made that clear, but in the back of her mind Jenny still wondered if she was the only girl he had been spending time with.

“Nah, you know what? I don’t think I am.” It was almost a surprise to realize that she was the only girl he wanted to spent time with right now, but it was almost....nice. In a weird way. Still, he had game to run, and he had to play it cool. “It wouldn’t be right to step out on you halfway through the ball, even if Mrs. Van Walsh has been eyeing me up since I walked in here.” Wink.

[gigi-sparks]

If Gossip Girl doesn’t immediately blast about me in the next ten minutes, I’m calling bullshit. She’ll officially be cancelled. Over, done. Let’s all move onto the next thing, thanks.

[dalgaardisms]

I’d send in the tip for you, but somehow I don’t think you’d appreciate it if the attention is manufactured. By someone other than yourself, of course. Careful, G, that’s starting to sound a little like a declaration of war against the queen of mean herself, and you know how she takes to threats. Actually, how does she take to threats? I don’t think anyone’s ever really tried anything on her, have they? Not that I know about, at least. You gonna be the first?

But, you know, might want to enjoy a couple days back in the city before going to battle. Did you miss The Big Apple too much to stay away? Or did whatever prison boot-camp you’ve been locked away at finally hire a seduce-able night-guard?

[roniravenwood]

And why wasn’t I introduced to Gossip Girl my first day here? She’s so… Well, you all must hate her.

[dalgaardisms]

“You actually have to do something to get on Gossip Girl, hate to break the news. But all it takes is one not-so-secret hook-up with a Vanderbilt, or accidentally exposed drug problem, and you’re big news. I’d vote getting started with your takeover now, there’s a lot going on.”

[dalgaardisms]

sincere-scarlett :

Scarlett smiled a little, “Yeah, that’s me. Thanks.” She briefly looked down at the dress before returning her gaze to him. “I heard you can get things for people? Um… I don’t want-…” Taking a moment to collect herself, she took a nervous breath. “I need something that helps people focus. Something that will keep me awake. I have exams and… you know?”

“You heard right.” He nodded. “Let me guess, your parents are riding you, and the stress is too much? Don’t worry, I’ve got all kinds of things to help you ace your tests. Are you looking for Adderall, or something harder?” Right, right. Exams. She looked like a lady, so he was inclined to believe her, but you never really could tell. “We’ve got party specials going on, so it’s fair pricing on everything.”

[dalgaardisms]

riotous-ruby :

“For the first time.” She all but threw her head back in laughter. “You’re cute, Dalgaard. How about you tell me what you’re packing and you can let me decide what I do and don’t want, hmm?”

“Yes, for the--Are you serious? You’re messing with me, right?” He stared at her incredulously. She’d been pretty much the picture perfect daughter in all his interactions with her, there was no way she’d been doing drugs. “Uh...Okay. If you’re sure...”

[dalgaardisms]

sienna-haven :

“Well, I hope it’s rather soon. Could I get your number in case I can’t find you when I’m ready? Yes, it is, but I’m kind of walking on thin ice so I have to listen to her for the time being. Luckily they have tons of healthy things that I definitely don’t want to eat, but for now, it will do.”

“Nice to meet you, Damien, so is this all you are doing at this party?”

“I hope so, too. Course. Give me your phone and I’ll put it in. That sounds really boring. Good luck under the eyes of your babysitter. Like carrot sticks. I’m pretty sure nobody’s touched any of them, and we’ve been here for hours. Seems like it’s shrimp puff or bust for everyone.”

“I’m also technically supposed to be on a date? But she’s got other stuff to distract her, so I thought I’d set up shop while she’s busy.”

[dalgaardisms]

archibaldgoldenboy :

“Fine. Excellent. Just-,” Howard waved a dismissive hand, already feeling his patience slip. He was so sure if he could just get what he needed then he could make it through the night. Everything would be okay tomorrow. He’d make Eleanor Waldorf reconsider. Everything would be okay. The alternative was simply unthinkable but right now, all he could think about was one thing. “I need-,” he hardly remembered to lower his voice, “Just- Just a gram. Less even, half. Whatever you have. I just need it. A pick-me-up. Nothing huge just a little bit, okay? You can do that, I know you can. So just… Name your price.”

He looked neither fine nor excellent, but Damien wasn’t going to call him on that. Men in positions of high-stress were often known to snap, and how could they know that this wasn’t Howard Archibald’s moment? Shame they didn’t do a mandatory pat-down at coat check. But what Howard said was almost more surprising a murder spree. “--Here? Mr. Archibald, are you sure you know what you’re asking?” But who was Damien to argue with the will of a desperate man? “Um, yeah, right. I’ve got...K, some poppers, a little coke. What do you want?” Oh man, it was tempting to name some outrageous price just to see if he could get Howard to pay it, but there was a difference between being crafty and being stupid. He didn’t need the fallout that would come from overplaying his hand here. “Fifteen hundred. Party pricing, you know? This shit’s in high demand.”

[dalgaardisms]

sienna-haven :

“Yeah, it is a shame, I usually love to take the edge off. Maybe if you aren’t busy after I can buy something from you. I can have some, but my agent is pretty controlling nothing too fatty. Think you can help me sneak some.” Sienna smiled as she looked at the other. “I’m Sienna by the way.”

“If you want to buy something, I’ll be around. Just come find me when you’re done with the place. Nothing fatty? That’s the best stuff. Lucky you’re here, though. The women here are so worried about their waist’s that they’d never let anything full-fat in the door.” He smiled.

“Damien. Nice to meet you, Sienna.”

[dalgaardisms]

camille-thehunter :

“That would be up, sir. Up,up and away.” If Cami was in any right mind it would be a different story. 

“Nothing better than Special K for that.” He told her, reaching for her hand and dropping two tiny pills into it. He didn’t carry anything stronger than Ketamine to events like this, but even that packed enough punch to please most socialites. “Make sure you drink water with those.”

[dalgaardisms]

archibaldgoldenboy :

“Damien Dalgaard, right? The diplomat’s kid? I need to ask you for a…favour. It- It’s important.”

@dalgaardisms

“That’s me. Not my preferred title, but we can’t always get what we want. Are you okay, Mr. Archibald? You look...shaky.” Damien shrugged. “Uh, yeah, ‘course. I’m all ears.”

[dalgaardisms]

camille-thehunter :

“Whatever kind of MJ you have and whatever else will keep a smile on my face.” 

He shrugs. “I’ve got some good stuff. You want to go up, or down?” He indicates with his thumb the directions she might want the drugs to take her. This was a party, after all. It was all about the mood.