To students whose family is able to afford your tuition fee and living fee.
When I was in high school, I had never worried about money. My parents paid for almost everything that I needed, if only not too much. I used to spent money and time on movies, activities, shopping, travelling, and sometimes, studying. But the thing is that the more activities I joined into, the more attention I need to pay on social relationships. The one with friends, with the people I met at that specific time. I was feeling like there were always so many things to do and care about. Seemed like my schedule was so crazy. Some people like my life. For many times my friends told me that, “why you are living in such a freedom, you are doing everything you want.”
One time a roommate asked me to go to the library, I said, “I’m sorry I’m afraid I can’t, got a meeting for a club, after that I need to go watch movie with my boyfriend and then go to a party. I also need to go to a concert tomorrow because one of my friends will give performance there.”
I published many well edited photos and videos on public media to show the exciting moments, which got so many “likes” and “comments”. Every time when there is a birthday remind, I would spent couple of hours on gifts. It is not easy to be welcomed among all groups, and even harder to remain the status in a group. I tried to be busy, to be a friend of most of people.
Meanwhile, the girl who asked me to go library never asked me again since that time. Sometimes she went to study alone however late or cold it was. The only thing she likes except for studying is film editor. Since both of us were enrolled in accounting, she had to teach herself how to do it. She made short movies by herself, recorded the world around her and then spent hours and hours editing them. Study and film making, the only two things in her life. Compared to me, she was so quiet and unsocial, she did not have many “friends” in social media, did not have a really outstanding grade, did not even have many real friends in real life. At that time, she was just like “nobody”.
However, after about four years, I suddenly realized that I did not really know what I want and what I can do. I could not even get a proper job that I want. The “friends” I cared about could not help at all, once we graduated, I had never seen them again. I used to have a so-called busy life and close friends, but I am not good at what I learnt for my major. I used to join into concerts, parties, cinemas, but having no relevant experiences on how to organize or control or host one. I used to get lots of “likes” but none of them could be added into my resume, and actually, the “likes” were far not enough to make me to be a web celebrity.
In contrast, the girl, by herself, had been the first one to get a proper and well paid job, which was in a film studio, among all people I knew, although she was majored in accounting.
At that time I finally started to doubt myself, what did I spend the time on? Why I looked so busy but got nothing? Did I really know what should have been my priority in the past years?
Life is always limited, no matter for the whole one or for a period of time. The minute that had gone would never be back. But have I really used it effectively or just spent it on lots of meaningless stuffs?
In July when I got Canada, I started to focus on the program and part-time job searching. At that time I said to myself that I would not ask for even a cent from my family.
After about five months when I needed to pay the tuition fee, which is 5000CAD for the second semester, I found that I totally ran out of money. I could not even afford the rental fee. Although I have signed a contract of a part-time job, because of the lack of SIN card, I was not able to start the work.
I searched online and tried lots of ways to get 5000 in 20 days, spending almost whole days on it, but I am not smart and skilled enough to achieve it.
One evening during a video call with my mom, she asked me if I was in any trouble, because I looked so tired and awful. I tried my best to cover the emotion but failed again. She kept asking and trying to find out what was happening. After about half an hour, I finally told her the truth. My mom was in silence for a while, and she said, “my girl, you are such an idiot.”
You are using your most valuable period of time working on the things that you don’t really need to work on. You want to save money for family, which is good, but have you ever thought of your opportunity costs when you were trying to get some money? You used the whole days, which you can actually spent on studying and then get a higher score and more knowledge to put on your resume and keep in your brain and mind. You are trying to earn some limited amount of money by doing the job that does not need any knowledge and skills that you have learnt and would need in the future. If you truly want to get a job, get the one that you can really learn something from, instead of the one you can get money from. Because you are young and we can afford the fee you need. Your time and what you are learning now is the true priority to you. We are not paying for you, but investing on you.”
I do not want to be the worst investment that my parents ever made, but the best.
What is the priority for my whole life? What is the priority for a specific period of time? What is the priority for the moment in front of me? Everything we are doing has an opportunity cost, can we really afford that?
Again, time is limited, so does life to every single person. Can you still recall the thing that worried you the most when you were in high school? But at that time, you felt like it was the end of the world. If you have ever learnt something from it or have been stronger, smarter etc., then the tears you had, the stuffs you destroyed, the curses you made were kind of deserved, but what if you had learnt almost nothing from it? What if you cost much more time and emotions and a good body shape and even a valuable opportunity for that but gained nothing?
In the other way, what if you missed a concert, a party, a date, a movie, but gained the thing, like an experience, knowledge, skills that you would need for applying a job that you constantly want? Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mean job is everything, but at least, it is not nothing.
Of course you could be much smarter and talented than I am to live your own life in a totally different way, but to the ones who are similar to me, or under a similar situation to mine, do you really have the answer?
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