lmaooo he dead

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@danamii
lmaooo he dead
Okay, I saw this on TikTok, and I have to say I feel 💯% better about my chubby self after this. My dude... Bless You!
Hopefully it helps others like me feel better about their thick, life saving thighs, too!😆
@angryschnauzer @nuggsmum @loricameback God does not sleep on a pillow so soft yassssss
bless this man
Image description/transcript: a thin white man with a beard is in front of a door. The screen says “Paying for tinder gold to see who likes you.”
He says: “Well let’s see what’s behind this door.” He opens the door and the phantom of the opera soundtrack plays with a spooky sound that denotes the phantom. The screen says “fat girls.” He then says “Nooooo...” and closes it
The camera cuts and a thin Black man is now in the frame. He says: Move stupid, get out of my way!
An off-screen voice says: Bro you’re a chubby chaser?
The Black man says, with a look of disgust: chubby chaser? motherfucker, I am a chubby whisperer. a chubby hunter. My pronouns are moto/moto. [his expression changes to one of reverence] have you not heard the news? first off thick thighs save lives and I will be fucking immortal. second off have you ever watched anime with a big girl? there are three snacks there: the ones you brought, the ones she brought, and her. and I guarantee there’s enough left for seconds. there’s a reason we call them party size. And third of all, have you ever hugged a big girl? every part—every part of them is squishy. God himself does not sleep on a pillow so soft! so soft. [he returns to a look of disgust] and your disdain for them is both ignorant and foolish. you’re a clooooown! [he now opens the door with a look of delight] now if you’ll excuse me— I’m comin’ baby!
end caption/ID
Confession:
I’m scared of being forgotten…
gonna quit my job and move to some random town and open up an ice cream parlor called I SCREAM and it's only open from dusk til dawn and the flavors are all spooky names like MONSTER MASH MANGO and BLOODY ORANGE and ROTTING CORPSES & CREAM and EXISTENTIAL DREAD and i'll only be seen at night except for occasional daytime appearances where i wear dark sunglasses and long flowing coats and people will ask me what my favorite flavor is and i'll say "oh no, i don't actually partake in...eating..." and they'll all think i'm a vampire but i'm really just lactose intolerant.
MONEY CAN COME TO YOU IN MULTIPLE WAYS. STOP THINKING THE ONLY WAY TO GET MONEY IS BY GETTING A JOB. If you want money, be open to it coming from anywhere. LITERALLY.
Alive still.
Been in the hospital since the beginning of January.
Missing 80 percent of my stomach now
Miserable but alive
Bite me as hard as you please, and make me see stars. I am yours to use.
imagine a burger saying this haha
how lucky do two people have to be in order to fall for each other at exactly the right time in exactly the right way
This is about Sci-Hub. yeah we get it.. gatekeep knowledge and protect the interests of capital…
Listen, this is serious.
Do not use the website called Sci-Hub!
It lets people access scientific articles for free. This is dangerous. It helps the free flow of knowledge and reduces the competitive edge of all the people who worked really hard to have been born into a wealth.
Like, it’s literally a website where you can type in the DOI of an article and read it, without ever having to pay the publisher who exploited the author.
So, again, do not, under any circumstance, use Sci-Hub. I mean, can you imagine a world where knowledge is free and easily accessible to everyone? Even, y'know, poor people?
Libgen also has many books online, including textbooks, searchable by name, author, and ISBN. Can you imagine textbook companies not getting their hard-earned income from poor college students? Here is the link just so you make sure that you never accidentally stumble across this horrible, unethical website.
Oh, and while we’re talking about books, if you’ve managed to stay clear from Libgen, definitely don’t go to zlibrary, where you can also find a lot of textbooks, but unfortunately they’re completely free.
Reblogging so you know which sites to totally avoid
he looks like this thing
Let bi boys date girls
Who isn’t letting them……
Gay boys who see me with a girl and say I shouldn’t be allowed in lgbt spaces because I’m actually really straight
Straight girls who see me as their “gay friend” or who say they don’t care about sexuality but wouldn’t date a boy who’s had sex with a boy
Straight people in general who say “isn’t he really just gay” or telling girls that I’m actually gay and faking it with them
Gay people who say that because I have the option of dating a girl I’m the same as the straight people who oppress our community
Gay people who say I’ll never understand oppression or what it’s like to “actually” be gay
So there’s quite a few people not letting them!!
Keep reblogging this post all the comments are people showing how much they hate bisexual people
Biphobes unfollow me, you’re not welcome here. LET👏PEOPLE👏LOVE👏WHO👏THEY👏WANT👏
I haven’t seen a post like this for bi boys, only for bi girls. let’s fix that.
ways to respond to being asked "are you a man or a woman?"
i sure hope not
who's to say
that's between me and God
i'll tell you for $100
i don't think so, why?
probably, not sure though
additions collected from the notes
not to my knowledge
sometimes
wouldn't you like to know weatherboy
Additional Options, Provided By My Hearing-Impaired Ass:
No I just work here.
I'm an Artist!
I'm sorry we're out of those, may I interest you in an Amish Paste Tomato instead?
Not until 5:30
No thanks!
I think I’m just gonna start answering any questions with “Wouldn’t you like to know weatherboy!”
Through dangers untold and hardships unnumbered, I have fought my way here to the castle beyond the Goblin City to take back the child that you have stolen. For my will is as strong as yours, and my kingdom is as great… You have no power over me.
LABYRINTH (1986) dir. Jim Henson