but failures always sounded better @danceandsing - Tumblr Blog

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#personal #warning that this is the place where i show my fucked up mind unfiltered: may have untagged triggers #like i cannot stress enough that this is not a place of direct expression or consumable content.#but rather a place to express freely and without perceived consequence #.txt

darkaviarymc

Tragedy alignment chart. Feel free to use, but please reblog if you do.

mikkeneko

And of course the second part of the tragedy, which is: which quadrant did you think you were in vs. which one you were really in

mynameisrocks

#one of the most tragic things too is how generally when you're not in control #you try to believe you were to cope and that leads to blame that's indescribable #bc it counters the helplessness #but also when you're in control sometimes you have to perceive that you're not

mylifeisroosterteeth

you know what you shouldnt do? constantly tell your child how expensive they are to take care of. because eventually, that child gets scared of asking for money, and doesnt feed themself at school, doesnt go places with their friends that require money, because she doesnt want to be expensive. it really does get into their minds, that theyre too much money and that they shouldnt do anything.

#this is so funny to me because i got told this but i also didn't have money to eat at school or go places #like.#my mom would lose her mind if I asked for a quarter to get to school via the bus #things like books were scary #if i did anything my friends would have to pay for it #but i was still always so expensive #but she wouldn't LET me be cheaper either bc if i wore close from good will that'd reflect badly #they had so much food in the house but none i could eat #of course my fault #there is something really really wrong with me

stillnaomi

unless you want to teach small kids about a laundry list of sex acts, they're not going to even recognise many acts of CSA as sexual in nature. instead, we need to have children who are raised with an expectation of bodily autonomy and who feel comfortable complaining when they're made or asked to do things they don't feel comfortable with. we need children to have the expectation that those complaints will be taken seriously and that they'll receive backup to make sure situations like that don't continue. if their desires for bodily autonomy are consistently ignored, how can we expect them to speak out when something confusing and uncomfortable happens with their parent, cousin, or babysitter? we've already taught them that what they feel comfortable with doesn't matter

#tw csa #I may be wrong but I also think it's important that as someone raising a kid if you're educating them on bodily autonomy you don't also act #contrary by means of things like excessive shaming or spanking or hitting or tickling after being told many times to stop #bc it's very difficult to believe what someone is telling you could apply to something else is bad if the same types of like patterns seem #to be eroded or normalised. a kid won't have all the societal context for 'it's okay to be spanked by my parents but if x y z touches my #butt it would be wrong' in fact depending on grooming or dynamics that could create defensiveness

sometimes it really feels like other people didn't spend all their teenage years researching intensely how to handle supporting their friends after rape, abuse, suicidality, and drug addiction

#personal

pocket-deer-belly

in order to protect the children we have to kill the people who harm them most: dads

pocket-deer-belly

i do wonder if the people who go "we have to kill all pedophiles" understand that like most instances of CSA happen between parent and child. like yes let's kill the kid's parents i'm sure this is a great and uncomplicated solution that would not further traumatize the child

pocket-deer-belly

to put it succinctly, if "kill all rapists and pedophiles" were to be enacted you will have a system in which victims of sexual abuse will feel (and in part are!) directly responsible for the deaths of their abusers. most people are raped by friends and aquaintances. most children are raped by their parents. it is a reactionary and punitive sentiment that does nothing to help victims of this type of violence.

nightcorp

weary4u

#me when i'm lying

I wish someone could understand how deeply she hurt me. I wish I could.

#personal #it doesn't feel like it should be this important to me and I never think about it but that's because of the dissociation #it was too much. the impasse the reality #it was all my worst fears and she knew it #they compounded on each other the trauma the things she said the way she left in ways I can't explain #but it hurt so much it ruined me so badly I can't #but there are all these giant holes in my life in this timeline in my processing #and the problem is she's one #and the worse problem is that she's one that as unbearable as it is might not be as out of my control as everything else #whenever it twists the terror the horror the disgust the loneliness hits worst #but that's not loneliness really is it? it's. grief it's abandonment.

pocket-deer-belly

the older i get the more it's terrifying to me how much child surveillance is normalized. scared for your child's mental health? here's more tools that will make them feel even more watched at all times. child is experimenting with their gender identity while away from you? we made it this other adult's job to surveil them for you. kid is "enjoying" their "free time" instead of doing homework? we've put parental controls on the things that they like so that you can monitor their private time. like can we fucking stop

pocket-deer-belly

it took me until 24 to realize that my parents don't deserve to just waltz into my room while i'm asleep and that me thinking this was fucking terrifying behavior wasn't actually unreasonable at all

pocket-deer-belly

unrestricted internet access is good for children because the alternative is that their parents are fucking inescapable. surveilling your child is abuse.

hiya-gayass

#finding out my mother has been surveiling me in the internet was so much more traumatising than the people trying to groom me or take #advantage of me on the internet that i didn't even realise the latter traumatise me for over a decade

str-ngeloop

you will struggle to say the unsayable thing for five years straight. and then it will suddenly become easy on a Wednesday morning

#me getting ten times more comfortable about talking about getting raped after a more societally acceptable type of sexual assault

girlzoid

me: god that session was so embarassing, i was way too hyper

therapist's notes: flat affect

#the opposite happens to me #i'll be like wow i can't believe i was so emotionless and dead inside and they'll be like. manic.

3-17-2010

Anne Sexton, A Self-Portrait in Letters ⁠— Brother Dennis Farrell, 28th March 1963

#i'll be the love of your life inside your head!

officialkendallroy

im in my girl's ear like i feel like something bad is going to happen to me. i feel like something bad has happened. it hasn't reached me yet but it's on its way.

#2022

sadomiasochasm

Do you have an evil uncle

yes

no

Voting ended onApr 9

#yes :/:/ but like evil the same way my parents are #very enlightening to how my mom ended up like that though #my dads brothers seem chill tho

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