Hello! @dancingbigfoot - Tumblr Blog

[Transcript:

Hi, this is how I wrap presents for people with lower fine motor control; it could be older people, younger people, people with disabilities.

You can use ribbon you already have for wrapping present, and I measured around the item I am about to wrap leaving a little bit of room for the handle.

I taped the beginning end of the ribbon to the box and then loop back the extra ribbon to make a handle, and it should look something like this

You can wrap pretty much like you normally do as long as you make sure that the handle is exposed .

You could even tie something onto the handle for extra support

All done!

End Transcript]

Punctuation and spacing was added for readability but all the text is verbatim.

fandomsandfeminism

When people get pregnant, they will give up smoking, give up alcohol, give up coffee and soda, give up fondue and raw cheese, give up cold cuts and sushi, all because they have heard somewhere, from someone, that these things can be bad for the baby. They don’t know the research, haven’t looked at the studies, can’t talk about sample sizes and control groups. But their dedication to their future child’s safety is so strong, their caution is so overpowering, that they give up these things just in case.

So it baffles me when those same people will insist on spanking their kids.

Even when they are shown the research.

Regardless of what the experts in the field say.

No matter who says it.

Or how it is said.

People are so invested in this ability to hit their kids without judgement or consequence, that it absolutely confounds me.

fandomsandfeminism

I’m just going to say this- if you come on this post, which specifically critiques spanking children, ignore all the links which provide evidence for why spanking is bad, and argue that you either DO or WILL spank your own children -

You are either an intentionally bad parent and/or a deeply damaged child.

We can forgive our parents for fucking up in their ignorance and acting out on their own damage. You don’t have to condemn them or hate them for it. They loved us, and they weren’t perfect.

But you are your own person and you have an obligation to be better.

rpepperpotshipssciencebros

I think most people agree that hitting a baby hard enough to make them cry is not OK. In fact, you could be brought up on abuse charges for it. Non-consensually hitting an adult hard enough to make them cry is illegal as well; it’s assault/battery.

So why do some people believe that there is there some nebulous age in which it’s perfectly OK to hit someone hard enough to make them cry? Someone who is too young and too small to even defend themselves against you? Someone who you are supposed to protect?

doctorbones

“When I was about 20 years old, I met an old pastor’s wife who told me that when she was young and had her first child, she didn’t believe in striking children, although spanking kids with a switch pulled from a tree was standard punishment at the time. But one day when her son was four or five, he did something that she felt warranted a spanking–the first of his life. And she told him that he would have to go outside and find a switch for her to hit him with. The boy was gone a long time. And when he came back in, he was crying. He said to her, “Mama, I couldn’t find a switch, but here’s a rock that you can throw at me.”

All of a sudden the mother understood how the situation felt from the child’s point of view: that if my mother wants to hurt me, then it makes no difference what she does it with; she might as well do it with a stone. And the mother took the boy onto her lap and they both cried. Then she laid the rock on a shelf in the kitchen to remind herself forever: never violence. And that is something I think everyone should keep in mind. Because violence begins in the nursery–one can raise children into violence.“

- Astrid Lindgren, Never Violence

captain-snark

That nebulous age is “old enough to have done something to “deserve” corporal punishment but too young/vulnerable to hit back.” This child did something I didn’t like and instead of being a parent I’m going to traumatize it right out of them.

Babies are entirely helpless, we can’t manipulate them into behaving a certain way (mostly) but once a child is old enough to have their behavior shaped by an adult its easier to just hit than have to deal with the reality that sometimes being a parent means dealing with things you don’t like, because just like that baby, children can’t help the things they do.

Parents that strike children were never taught how to cope with their emotions. That’s what it comes down to.

Timmy is having a temper tantrum, something must be very distressing to have a person acting this way. Lets try and figure out what’s wrong with Timmy and then we can fix it and come up with better ways of dealing with it instead of having a temper tantrum.

Timmy’s parents take ten minutes to discover Timmy’s major melt down was his sock felt funny in his shoe. Timmy’s parents teach Timmy to tell them these things in the future instead of getting upset first. Everyone goes home happy.

Meanwhile, Peter’s parents can’t handle Peter having emotions and needs that aren’t absolutely immediately obvious and since Peter is just a tot he can’t simply explain his predicament to his parents.

His parents have never learned how to communicate with anyone about their needs and emotions and so their own override their child’s. Let us strike Peter and he will learn that temper tantrums will not be tolerated. Peter shuts up but his problems are never solved.

But his parents go home happy.

Peter needs therapy in the future to unpack a Lifetime of Oppressed Emotions.

I hate to break it to parents sometimes, but unfortunately, your entire point is to make sure that child is the most functional adult it can be. How do you do that? By letting them act like children now, so they don’t act like children later.

bendingsignpost

My grandmother once told me why she was so anti-spanking, both as a parent and as a social worker:

The only times she could remember being spanked were times when she was absolutely certain she was being unfairly punished. The only lesson you can learn from that is not one parents mean to teach you. And as a very much older woman stubborning her way through life, she is to this day pissed.

randomslasher

The best explanation I ever heard against spanking was this:

If the child is old enough to understand words, then you should use your words. If the child isn’t old enough to understand words, then they also won’t understand why you are hurting them.

cluegrrl

All being spanked as a child taught me was that if a parent was angry, I would get spanked for something. Even if it was something that didn’t matter on any other day, if they were mad, and needed to hit something, then I was going to be it. It taught me that my parents couldn’t control themselves, and I lost respect for them WAY faster than they were prepared for.

peterfromtexas-deactivated20250

Farm dogs leading their cattle out of the flood in Florida and to safety.

sheherazade-deactivated20201117

i need you all to know how beautiful gaspard and lisa illustrations are… unparalleled!

catchymemes

Exciting news out of Madison Wisconsin…

personification-of-anxiety

autoimmuneamy

“Do you want to talk about it or be distracted from it” is honestly the best thing you can say to me when I say im sad/in pain etc.

luckytwodollarbill-deactivated2

this is really good advice to say to anyone who is upset

elaxisfae

Alsooo may I add: “do you want advice or do you just want to vent?” Is also good to add because often unsoliticited advice can further hurt someone who really just wanted a listening ear.

teaboot

I’m a bag of anxiety but also dense as fuck which is a great combo in social situations because when I screw up it plays off as sheer confidence

teaboot

“Eating a sandwich,” I answer happily, to what seems to be a positive reception. I finish my lunch and leave the cafeteria. Halfway to class I realize that junior kid meant “what’s your major at this institute,” not “what brings you to the cafeteria” when he asked what I was doing here. He laughed at my dry humor, thinking my jape funny. Little does he know, I am but a witless fool. I will now stress binge an entire loaf of pretzel bread and sleep for twelve hours

rasputinberries-deactivated2014

I love this contest

calmb4tehpwn

LAYS MISERABLES

THAT TOOK ME TOO LONG

charaznable

ok FINE i’ll reblog this one i hope you’re proud of yourselves

thechargrey

A little tip for parents with children in school (or for children in school to show their parents)

My mom gave me and my sister two days every semester that she called “mental health days.”

Those were days, that for ANY reason, and without having to tell my mom the reason, we could skip the day of school. We’d just tell her we were taking a mental health day and she’d call the school and let them know we were not coming in.

#1 This helped keep our grades up by lowering our stress levels. I never got a C in any grade school class. The majority of my classes I received A’s. I also took 4 AP classes and they were not weighted. Trust me, it made a difference.

#2 I never felt the need to skip school. I knew if I ever wanted to or needed to my mom would help me.

Your kids are young and need time to recover. They need some days where they can do nothing but stay in bed for no reason. They need their own space where their privacy is respected. It will make a huge difference.

buckwildbarrelracer-deactivated

Will do this when I have kids

mossman-making-stars

I would like to add something to this for the teachers too! (I may have already told this story on tumblr but OH WELL I’m telling it again)

One of my math teachers in high school had a policy called The Red Beanbags of Don’t Bother Me. He kept a pile of red beanbags on his desk, and at any time of the day you could go over and take one. From that point on, as long as you were in his classroom with a beanbag on your desk, no one could bother you. He wouldn’t call on you to answer problems, no students were allowed to talk to you, and perhaps most importantly, no one could ask why you took a bean bag that day. The only caveat was that if you used the beanbag more than three times in a semester you had to go talk to the school counselor about it.

I only used the beanbag a handful of times during those 4 years, but it was a godsend when I needed it. I knew people who would camp in his classroom during lunch (or even skip class and stay there all day) under the protection of the beanbag. As a teacher there’s not always a lot you can do for a student suffering mental illness/emotional abuse/ other struggles, but giving them some space and privacy in your class can make a HUGE difference.

tumble-duh

^^ that story is perfect

jimhenson-themuppetmaster

Jim Henson first Sketches of Oscar the Grouch

nau-see

my ideal form

chillgamesh-the-swing

miiriya

you ain’t grading a college paper

vanlifunhouse-deactivated202101

Do this for any company that asks you to review their employees always.

an0nymz

You wouldn’t believe the number of times I swear I get 4/5 star ratings at my job just because the way people think is “well 5/5 means perfect and nobody’s perfect, 4/5 is good!” The company I work for doesn’t understand this common mentality at all, and will let people go over not having consistent enough 5/5 ratings. Obviously they don’t inform the customers of that.

fwizard

this also applies to your restaurant servers!!

huffpost

crappy-deity-deactivated2019091

‘Hello land dog, I am water dog.’

venusisascending-deactivated202

🥰

keybladesoras

SO PURE!

azeher

Just so some of y’all know, this is not the actors or Marvel or Sony promoting the movie. This is them being the nicest people ever. They’ve talked about this. Tom started this habit of visiting every children’s hospital in the cities they film at ever since Homecoming. He would ask permission to borrow the suit and go on his own. No one was filming. Then Zendaya started going with him cuz she thought it was an awesome idea and then cameramen started also going. No one asked them to go. Jake Gyllenhaal then said recently that when he heard about this tradition, he had the need to do it too cuz it was the most amazing thing he’d heard of. Most of these visits weren’t even recorded. They’re just nice people wanting to make children happy and it’s so pure. There was even a clip of Tom crying afterward but I’m glad it was cut off cuz I did feel like they were invading his privacy there. And honestly, even if more actors from different franchises started doing this for publicity I wouldn’t care cuz they’re still making these children happy and fulfilling their dreams.

picsthatmakeyougohmm

hmmm

curlicuecal

Whenever someone posits that people are ‘lazy’ I’m reminded of the fact that if you leave humans in a room with some blocks and no instructions they will literally make up their own tasks to carry out because humans just fuckin love having stuff to do and objectives to work towards

seraphimalune

In one of my psych courses we learned about a study where a person was left in a room with nothing but a box that would SHOCK THEM painfully if they touched it. After awhile, everyone touched the box and got shocked to hell and back. Now, this isn’t that abnormal. What’s abnormal is that everyone then sat there for a few minutes and then TOUCHED THE BOX AGAIN. And got shocked AGAIN! Moral of the story: People fucking hate being bored. They would rather be in IMMENSE PAIN than be bored.

femcassidy

i want you all to know that there is an artist (carmen papalia) who, after he started using a white cane, assembled a 12 foot long white cane and began using it in downtown vancouver. the length of the cane made it functionally useless as a device and the only purpose it served was making him an obstacle for sighted people. dare i say… 2019 goals

femcassidy

therapist to sighted patient: long cane isnt real and it cant hurt you

carmen papalia:

[id: a dimly lit photo of carmen papalia using his 12 foot “long cane” piece. he walks casually behind it. the cane takes up the majority of both the photograph and the sidewalk.]

thevioletsunflower

Okay I went to a conference where this guy was a keynote and he’s so fucking cool. He’s done a ton of art around disability rights. The twelve-foot cane is really cool, but here are some of my other favourites:

From the series on replacing his cane, this is one where he replaced his cane with a megaphone and would stand at intersections repeating “I can’t see” until somebody would stop and help him cross the street

Another cane replacement, this time replacing it with a high school marching band who would change the music depending on if there was something in the way or not.

A museum intervention where he got people at the MET to go through the museum with their eyes closed and experiencing touching things he’d gotten permission to touch (the floor in this image) and just exploring a visual art museum blind.

The Blind Field Shuffle, in which he has dozens of people form a conga line behind him with their eyes closed and leads them on a blind tour of the city - literally the blind leading the blind.

Wish I could find a better photo, but this is a museum gallery he curated where the works are almost at floor height, making them accessible to children, little people, and people in wheelchairs, but requiring abled people to bend down or sit on the floor in order to see them properly.

In short, this man is amazing and I love his work.

captainlordauditor

……okay, that last one is my absolute favorite

badsciencejokes

…I almost killed myself

I put on my sunglasses, to hide my swollen eyes, over my tears. I cried all my makeup off. Went inside to have a milkshake. I don’t know why. I wanted something to drink as I figured out what I would do. I got a soda and a milkshake. Medium. The cashier looked at me and with a line around the corner of the counter he rushed away from the counter “Hold on “ he yelled to a coworker.

I filled my soda and went back and saw him looking all over. I go up and he gets close and says “I made it a large”.

That was seriously enough for me not to do it. His kindness. Someone went out of their way and as I went back in my car to cry I realized I could muster through a few other days. A few more weeks. Then I came down from that panicky high of anxiety, depression, and pain. I finished my shake. And it was enough time to let me feel better. I… I’m alive. I’ll make it through.

Try and be nice today. Tomorrow. Something as much as a smile. It helped so much.

Thank you man at McDonalds.

The milkshake saved my life

blackheartseverywhere

I hope you all can read this and remember to be kind

the-quiet-priestess

The smallest of gestures can save a life. My Mum answered her phone when I called and I am alive today because of that.

badsciencejokes

I’m glad you’re here.

It’s a phone call, a milkshake, a friend.

badsciencejokes

I feel like I shouldn’t keep reblogging this but when I do more people see what kindness can do…. I don’t know. Love everyone as yourself.

nunyabizni

Nah, keep rebloging it. It gives hope.

evilerthanthou

walked sobbing around a city once wearing a summer dress in mid-september thunder and rain. basically dragged myself into LUSH as the smell of the store always made me smile. the shop was empty and dead due to the weather, just this blonde short woman behind the counter who smiled at me. i stared at her feet and asked ‘do you have anything for people who are scared a lot?’ (i was so out of it i had no clue). she showed me two bath bombs, one pink and one blue, and said both were good - i chose the pink, paid for it and left. i then sat at a bus stop clutching the LUSH bag in one arm and my prescription meds in the other - i’d lied and ordered a refill so i could just drift away with sleeping pills. when the bus arrived and i was out of the rain, i decided to have another look at my bath bomb, smell it and what not. opened my bag and saw she’d put the blue one in there for me as well and written on the receipt ‘feel better soon :) hope you like x’.

no one had ever been so selflessly kind to me before, i didn’t know what to do with it except hang around long enough to use the other bath bomb.

maggie-stiefvater-deactivated20

Actually I’m going to reblog this again because of the truth of the inverse: think of any time you have been casually cruel or petty to someone for humor or because you weren’t in a great mood.

The power of small gestures goes both ways.