Dan Povenmire @danpovenmire - Tumblr Blog

Yea but that's what I'm saying! You don't think Dan Povenmire would put that in his bio ironically?

The feds are going to come for my ass if you all don’t stop thinking this is actually Dan Povenmire.

Is bujeet doomed yaoi?

???

Can Norm smoke a joint aswell

Yeah, fuck it. He can smoke a joint. Sure.

Coins or bolts?

Have you ever read Homestuck?

1 BOOP = 1 BLOCK

#Kidding!

adhdoofenshmirtz

Since I know he will never see this...

Dan Povenmire

#?

I'm pretty sure your list is just random stuff you made up but I like to think that you're actually shading one specific celebrity who's personally done all of those things

Ben Affleck

PSA: Stop submitting extremely compressed Safeway coupons to me

I do not shop there ❌

I can't even scan the barcode at the store due to the compression ❌

They all expired in 2013 ❌

#I have 92 of these in my inbox. STOP!

To be fair, running a "parody" blog of yourself would be the most hilarious thing to do as a celebrity. 'Mask of My Own Face' core lmao

I can easily think of 14 other things that would be “the most hilarious thing to do as a celebrity.”

Get cosmetic plastic surgery to look like Cher

Drinking perfume on TikTok Live if someone gives the Universe gift

Sign on with {redacted fast food chain} for one of those celebrity collaboration meals like Cardi B did

Hike nude through Acadia National Park

Play a main character in a Kojima Productions game for the sole purpose of befriending Hideo Kojima

Run for president of the United States and lose by only getting 60k votes

Announce you're retiring from acting, making this news a huge deal. Continue making films despite saying you were done. Pass away just as your final performance in Cocomelon: The Movie airs on Paramount+. It gets a 2% audience score on RottenTomatoes. Your iMDB page redacts your final failure gig from your filmography record.

Insist on wearing a full brim hard hat (either Klein or LANON brand) 24/7. 365 days a year. 366 on leap years.

Open a Cameo account regardless of your billion dollar net worth

Become a reply guy for El*n M*sk to gain his trust. Backstab him by buying out his emerald mine.

Hooters sponsorship

Make a huge scene at the coffee shop when your order/name is called. "You guys... hold your applause, please. You're making me blush. I'm just like you! Except I'm a celebrity!" you say to an empty, silent café.

Actually breaking a leg before a big performance.

Why the fuck am I making this list

I can't tell if you're actually a parody account or the real Dan playing 5D comedy chess

Highly concerned about society’s reading comprehension!

His name is Ferbs.

Do NOT fuck with me!

phineas and ferb

WHO?

Phineas and Ferb Reboot Teasers

Lawrence smokes a joint

Doofenshmirtz hacks into Epic Games and inserts himself into Fortnite. Comedy ensues.

Home Depot sponsorship

Phineas dyes his hair purple

There may or may not be a Brandy & Mr. Whiskers crossover

Disney’s first ever gay character (Never been done before)

Episodes will be exported into tiktok’s 9:16 aspect ratio

Kidney stone episode

All of Ferb’s lines will be bass-boosted for maximum impact

Perry the Platypus will say “Fuck”

Pinhead Pierre’s funeral will be the season finale cliffhanger

Phineas and Ferb destroy all A.I. databases with their own bare hands, no wacky inventions necessary

Peter the Panda also smokes a joint

#Phineas and Ferb

AAAAAUGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

It is a privilege to announce that Hamster and Gretel will be coming to the WII U! We were unable to book an appearance on a Nintendo Direct but a Tumblr Announcement is just as impactful. Look forward to the Hamst and Geetle on Wii U this holiday season 2023.

this one time my sister, my dad and i were watching a jackie chan movie and he was being frisked by the police. Eventually he was naked because they kept making him take his clothes off and his butt was shown on screen. My dad was walking on the treadmill while watching( asian households we dont map shit normally) and as his butt showed on screen , i being the scared 8 year old i was, tried to run away and ended up running into my dad and tripping him and we both fell while the treadmill was running. We were both ok but that was how jackie chan's butt almost killed me and my father ok have a good day

In an alternate universe, one of you did not survive that day. Your sister would take the directors and editors of that movie to court. Jackie Chan had to testify on behalf of his biggest muscle (butt). They had to re-release the film with significant edits to either cover up or remove scenes displaying Chan’s ass entirely. This silly moment of your life significantly altered the history of another dimension. Cinema would never be the same. Perceptions of the ass would never be the same. Phineas and Ferb would not have been pitched. Dyson would go bankrupt.

All this to say, I am glad you both are well in this dimension.

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