Cosmic Funnies
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$LAYYYTER
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Misplaced Lens Cap
2025 on Tumblr: Trends That Defined the Year
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oozey mess
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@daphne--tyler
“Do it and you’ll see” He said, smirking against her lips, before starting to kiss down her neck.
She let out a soft moan, allowing her head to fall back as she got caught up in the neck kisses. “In your dreams.” she finally answered, pulling him in for another kiss, rougher than last.
Listens carefully before placing both his hands behind his head. “Have you considered that maybe you should be the one going down first?”
“Where’s the fun in that?” she smirked and moved closer to him, running her hand down his chest, before closing the gap between them.
“Look, I’m skipping the whole awkward ‘sorry we haven’t spoken in over a month’ thing and getting straight to the point. I haven’t had good dick in so long and I need to come. You down?”
Seriously, Daph? We haven’t even been here for a hour and you’re already making a mess.
Maybe I pre-gamed a tiny bit back at the house. And fuck you, I’m not making a mess, I’m making everything look better.
“Barbie you’re a hot mess get your shit together already.”
“I’m the hot mess? Excuse me? Look at your hair.”
Yeah, cause that’s just what you want to hear from your sister.
If you want advice or words of wisdom you should probably talk to Ella.
Daph— … What? Anywhere near that dress? I don’t think so. Pretty sure it’s worth more than any stain’s life. Shouldn’t you have someone hired to hold your drinks for you?
Mm-- they quit. Apparently it’s a very demeaning job. But you know, if you’re still looking for work, the position is available.
It’s not cause of him, I just…can’t stand his friends, okay? They’re all dumb.
Did you miss the part where I mentioned all free alcohol and drugs you want?
What the hell are you looking at? I obviously meant to spill my drink. Mind your own business.
Keeping his gaze on her ass as she walked up to his front door, he narrowed his eyes at her words. Old man? Old man? God, she was gonna regret that. But not just yet– Forcing an amused smile at her, he took his time searching for his keys and unlocking the door, finally pushing her against it once they were inside. “Who the fuck you calling an old man?” He asked, gripping firmly at her hips.
“Just calling it like I’m seeing it.” She smirked and trailed her fingertips down his chest and toward his belt, enjoying how aggressive he was being. “What are you gonna do about it, Ethan?”
Spencer? Seriously? —Actually, I think I’m coming down with something.
Really? You’re going to avoid a party filled with semi-hot guys and free alcohol because of one idiotic boy. You’re a Tyler, Lilah, we don’t let boys ruin our fun.
Trust me, I ask myself the same question. Who’s party even is this anyway?
The idiot Ella babysits all the time. It’s supposed to be legendary, but it’ll probably get broken up before things get exciting.
Don’t you mean leaf it? …. Yeah, okay, whatever. I’m in.
Did you just---? God, I will never understand how we share the same DNA. Super. Be ready to go at 10.
How many packets of Pop Tarts is deemed ‘too many’, do you think?
I’m tryna be sensible here but I already threw in some fruit and a couple cans of peas so it’s not like I’m not conforming. But who can argue with the convenience of the Pop Tart. You put ‘em in the toaster. I swear, no matter what they tell you, grocery shopping is horrible no matter how much of an “adult” you’re supposed to be.
—I should probably call a professional or something.
“This is exactly why you hire people do your grocery shopping for you, Mr. Macfarlane. So, you don’t have to deal with the headache of shopping an even more important, so you don’t drag me to the store with you.”
Always looking out for me, Daph. I don’t know if I can just stop. What would they do without me? Being a terrible waiter is part of who I am…. Yeah, I should probably quit. Besides, let’s not forget that I’m actually a musician, alright? That’s the real occupation. [laughs] ‘Course, what can’t my good looks do? I’m sure the upstanding salon going women around here’ll take one look at me and think yup, there’s a guy I wanna talk to about the latest deals on hair care.
Realistically the most your resignation would do is make their yelp rating go up. Exactly! So go take your lame band and tour the country or something. All your shitty job is going to is drain the creativity right out of that little soul of yours. [pokes the middle of his chest]. Whatever, excuse me for trying to be a great person.
lilah-tyler:
Why are you inviting me to a party?
Because I’m over all of the tension in our conversations and I’m extending an olive tree or whatever it’s called. Take it or leave it.
Ethan knew her well enough to know that little polite smile she had on her lips was just there to mask something. He was hoping it was jealousy she was trying to hide, but with the shitty lighting on the cab he couldn’t see her well enough to figure it out. When she called him by his first name, he had to bit his lip not to speak up, instead, he just focused on paying the driver. Walking out of the car, he went to the other side, opening the door for her. “Come on”
Rolling her eyes at his demand, Daphne stepped out of the car and walked toward his front door, not even bothering to wait for him as he trailed behind her. To say she pissed off was an understatement and as much as she tried to hide her feelings, this particular emotion was etched deeply into her features. All she wanted to do was get inside so she could deal with her anger in a more constructive way-- sex. “We don’t have all day, old man.” she teased, tossing her long blonde hair behind her shoulder.
