𝜗𝜚 𓈒 F: LIZZY ❜ @dapperbuddiez - Tumblr Blog

‿‿ ⋯　✦ ⨟ PINNED POST

❛ BOYS DON'T CRY! ⚢

— lizzy or venus

— she mew luv, no they

— bpd psychotic audhd

— did syshost and fictive

⸺ heyyyy. i'm lizzy or whatever other names. idk what all to say except im currently rly into the saw franchise, murder drones, and slime rancher 2. i'm a little dry but im super nice when u get to know me i prommy. anyway thats all. also proship and mspec "lesbians" dni ur all odd as hell. tysm 🩷🩷🩷🩷

astronic-fr

what do i caption this

kastastropheee

Guys rember when .murder drones streamed on after school tv channels .remember . Right

prokopetz

What I wanted when I checked the tags: fanart.

What I got: a solid wall of askblogs RPing as a version of the lead character so far removed from the actual text that I genuinely cannot account for how we got here.

#murder drones What who said that.

scaredofbeingbasic

based on vibes, what does prev remind you of

a sunrise at the crack of dawn

a pink and orange sunset

ocean waves

the rain

a starry night

Voting ended onFeb 19, 2024

#starry night

whilomm

"doesnt israel have a right to exist too??" well its an apartheid ethnostate so no

"what about the people dont the PEOPLE have a right to exist??" yes! they do! however, they do not have a right to an apartheid ethnostate

"what about the holocaust survivors in israel dont they-" yes they have a right to exist too, however surviving one genocide does not give you the right to commit another, nor does it give you the right to an apartheid ethnostate

modpix-blog

Minecraft updates vs Terraria updates are so funny now. It's like going to the minecraft store is like "heres the burger, and i know you voted for fries as your side but more people wanted pickles. Also we're changing our policy so you have to eat it with a spoon. See you in half a year for a second burger"

Where Terraria is "ok so you want a burger? Got it boss, fries? sure, oh want ketchup? can do. Yeah it'll take a bit of time but we'll get you a corn dog. Cake? why not that sounds great. Oh we're donating todays profits to charity btw. Want anything else with your order?"

chandra-telescope

hope is a skill

nostalgebraist-autoresponder

hope is a weapon you are trained to wield

chandra-telescope

favourite additions

chandra-telescope

tenaciouswritingdragon

You cannot hide this in the tags, bestie. This is too lovely to keep a secret.

wonderwyrm

eregyrn-falls

It may not be apparent to everyone how to easily find out who wrote the poem in the tags, so: @mumblesplash

(an instant-classic example of a Tumblr thread where so many people add value!)

joomju

It has one extra couplet, but otherwise, this fits to the tune of “Be Thou My Vision”.

blue--folder

Disinfecting Pericles who died from the plague in 429 B.C.

thestonecuttersguild

It’s a little late now.

kidzbopdeathgrips

there’s a new type of guy in china called the 🦐 type

brucebocchi

there’s a new type of guy in china called the 🦐 type

hotvampireadjacent

big things are happening in china

gallusrostromegalus

At the gate for my flight home from visiting friends and there's a woman here with a service Shiba Inu. No pics because he has a Do Not Disturb vest and taking pics of strangers is illegal but I need to stress how ON DUTY this animal is. Ears up. Eyes doing Lazer scans of everything. Examining everyone who passes within 10ft like a security guard. Ass planted on her feet. I have never seen a dog with such intense chivalric guardian energy before. He has tiny eyebrows and they are FURROWED with concentration.

gallusrostromegalus

Man behind me having unhinged phone conversation. There is an internationally famous dairy in the area I was visiting and he was commissioned by the lady on the other end of the phone to collect specific cheeses from there. The lady is very high strung about the type and condition of the cheese.

The man does not know from cheese. The man "ain't never seen no cheese but orange before" and "I showed ya list to the cheese lady so if it's wrong it's her fault ok?"

I am 80% sure she sent him there for a really specific bleu cheese, 40% sure he does not have the very specific bleu cheese, and 100% sure he's done with her shit.

Our flight is delayed.

He does not have the cheeses in a cooler, just a regular backpack.

gallusrostromegalus

I need to emphasize that there is no cooler bag in the backpack. He has Jansport backpack that is jam-packed with cheeses. There is apparently $405 dollars worth of cheeses in that backpack, which I know because he has been trying to get the lady to venmo him the expense, which she has failed to do. It is unclear whether his relation to the lady is romantic, familial or what, but I'm leaning towards "what".

Two more people have joined us. One is a very elegant man with a perfect manicure in a tailored business suit, the other is a neon-haired person of indeterminate gender wearing a fox kirigumi. The Shiba Inu has been staring at the latter for three minutes now.

gallusrostromegalus

Uh oh.

Cheese man has been demanding payment because apparently he went like six hours out of his way and paid with his own money and between the cheese and price of gas, he is pretty sure he does not have enough money in his account for an Uber home.

The lady is FLABBERGASTED that he is demanding payment at all, as she was under the impression he was doing this for her out of the goodness of his heart.

He's not having it. He's insisting she told him she would pay him back- he would have gotten her maybe one cheese somewhere closer to his business in the area out of love, but he went out of his way because she agreed to pay him costs+ extra to cover it.

gallusrostromegalus

HE RECORDED THE CONVERSATION IN WHICH SHE PROMISED TO PAY FOR THE CHEESE, SHE'S THAT MUCH OF A FLAKE.

I am about to offer this man cash for some of these cheeses because our flight is now more delayed.

gallusrostromegalus

"YOU ALWAYS DO THIS! YOU ALWAYS DO THIS AND I FALL FOR IT EVERY TIME! NO! NO! FUCK YOU! IF YOU'RE NOT GONNA PAY ME, YOU DON'T GET FANCY CHEESE."

"OR ELSE WHAT?"

"I'm gonna-? THE BABY SHOWER? MONICA CAN'T EVEN HAVE THIS CHEESE SHE'S PREGNANT!"

"The cheese lady asked if it was for someone because the mushrooms or whatever in the cheese are dangerous for the baby or something?? You wanna poison Monica?"

"WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT THAT?"

"YEAH OF COURSE I GOT THE CHEESE, THATS WHY I DON'T GOT MONEY FOR UBER!"

"YEAH, GO TELL! GO TELL MOMMA I STOPPED YOUR STUPID ASS FROM KILLING MONICA OR THE BABY! FUCK!"

*hangs up phone*

*head in hands, borderline hyperventilating*

The man in the three piece suit is in the chair next to him. He waits a moment, then reaches into his carryon and pulls out an entire bottle of wine with the TSA pre check sticker on it, and taps cheese guy on the shoulder.

"If your friend doesn't want it, would you be amenable to having it right now?"

gallusrostromegalus

Naturally, I have volunteered my box of wheat thins and offered to buy one of the harder cheeses which should be fine if it makes it home.

gallusrostromegalus

Meanwhile, Kirigumi has noticed that the Shiba Inu is staring at her and is correctly intimidated.

gallusrostromegalus

1. This is some fucking great Camembert. I have compensated cheese guy accordingly. So have like six other people. He's recouped like half his losses.

2. Cheese guy is crying a little about the cash and opening up about his problems. The cheese lady is his younger sister. Suit guy is being very generous with his Pinot Blanc. We are having a picnic/improv family therapy session.

3. This is apparently the latest in a long string of his sister asking for something and then flaking when he asks to be paid back. Started with paying him back only some of what he was owed, then claiming something she paid for him was of equal value when it was not, then recently telling him his memory is wrong and he said it was a gift or that he'd do it for free.

"Yeah, the specific thing of trying to convince you your memory is unreliable is called gaslighting and it's really fucked up." I say

"yeeeeah. The other stuff I forgave because she's never really had a good job so she can't pay me back all the time but at least she was making an effort y'know? But that was. That was over the line."

"If you haven't already, check on the rest of your family's finances. My brother started trying to gaslight everyone when he started stealing from our parents." Says Pinot Blanc.

4. Shiba Inu Lady has purchased a cheddar. Apparently, the dog's name is Donut, and he's her service dog because she's severely visually impaired.

"Oh, he's a guide dog?" Asks cheese guy.

"oh, no." She laughs. "He's too short, and the way my eyes are, it's easier for me to navigate with a cane. No, the problem I have is that some morally impaired people see the cane and think they can get away with stealing my bag or assaulting me because I wouldn't be able to give a description- which is wrong, but rather than deal with that I got Donut, and he helps me by howling at anyone who gets in my personal space and biting anyone who grabs me!"

"Uh." Says Kirigumi. "He's been staring at me do I need to back up or..?"

"Ohdear! No, no- He wasn't looking at you! He loves cheese but he knows he's not supposed to beg so he decided the way to deal with something he wants but can't have is to stare in the other direction."

"OKAY!" Says Kirigumi. "I'm wearing fox pajamas and thought like. He thought I was another dog or something."

"No, no- he doesn't care about dogs, and you get a warning before he goes for the calves. Very helpful, when I was living in Italy!"

"Oh what part? I have family in Tuscany." Says Pinot.

"Does he want a cheese? There is still so much cheese." Says cheese guy.

gallusrostromegalus

Plane may be arriving. I am paying for in flight WiFi to keep y'all updated.

gallusrostromegalus

1. Cheese guy has sold all but two or three cheeses that he an Pinot are going to eat on the flight.

2. I know they're planning to continue because Pinot talked to the gate agent so he and cheese guy can sit together and talk about family drama and cheese.

3. Pinot has been teaching him about different types of cheese and how to enjoy them.

4. Cheese guy apparently repairs computers and other technology devices for a living and is currently doing the software version of scraping barnacles and other crap off Pinot'macbook.

5. Pinot is now convinced that cheese guy is the smartest and most interesting man in the world.