half empty

[darcyeds]

therivaswearspradax​:

“Well then, I guess we have a petition to organize.” Zoe was determined to make this work, what a great idea! She would much rather take care of something that didn’t screech for what seemed like hours on end. Maybe something like an egg or other renditions of this project other schools had done. “I don’t see why not. Consider me your newest member.” Zoe did tend to jump into things before knowing the full extent of what it was like, but she had a good feeling about friendship club. Fiona was right. Letting your guard down and letting people in was way easier than having your guard up and constantly feeling like you have to defend yourself. Maybe she should be this version of herself more often. It was a hell of a lot less exhausting. But, it would be baby steps for Zoe, for now. “So, who else is in this club?”

“i guess we do,” her voice was cheerful. of course she knew zoe from power cheer, which two cheerleaders teaming up was powerful enough, but she was also a celebrity which gave the entire ordeal bonus points. she was sure that there were still plenty of west drive fans who would sign it just because she was a part of it. “we’re so excited to have you a part of our friendship circle. you’re going to love it,” she insisted, hoping she wouldn’t eat her own words. as long as linus kept the lesson pretty basic bible and lowkey, avoiding the fire-y bits of hell and damnation, maybe she would actually enjoy the club. “well, there’s me, my sister clare, linus is president, becky, there’s kim and melinda. spinner used to come to it, but he doesn’t really so much anymore. but i’m trying to get him to come back. and i’m actively recruiting new members so we can grow and have a stronger impact on the school.”

[darcyeds]

needmoresleepers​:

@darcyeds

“Hey, so-” Toby settled, in front of Darcy’s desk in class. His backpack was still on, the class still bustling as everyone was getting ready for class to begin. This meant, luckily, that he had some time. “I know that we don’t really, like… talk, but I have a favor I need to ask.” He scratched the back of his neck with a hint of awkwardness. “It’s not, like, huge or anything but I-” he stuttered. Talking to pretty women he didn’t know was so difficult, a lot of the time, “-Could you maybe help me with this project? My partner made clear upfront that since I was a nerd I wasn’t getting any help, but I’m a math nerd, and I really don’t understand what caused the French Revolution, and you seem pretty smart, so… could you maybe explain it to me? I’ll owe you one, seriously. I’ll do your math homework or, like, code a website for Friendship Club. Not even, like, on Squarespace or Wix. Like a straight up code.”

darcy looked up from her notes, pink highlighter still in her fingers as she was about to mark-up the main causes of the french revolution as a guy that she only really knew in passing sat in front of her. brow furrowed in confusion, she recapped the marker, “hi?” it was more of a question than a statement before he got to his point about asking a favor. her head cocked to the side, the boy seemed fidgety and nervous as he came out with what seemed like a mostly simple request. people didn’t typically ask her for scholastic help, least of all the guy who was known to be the school brainiac. there was something adorable about the entire unexpected interaction. “i’m not going to lie, i thought nerds were smart in all areas,” she confessed, but smiled as he said that she seemed pretty smart. she was used to getting the pretty part of compliments, but the other part was typically reserved for her far more studious sister, clare. “i do?” she asked, genuinely surprised. “i mean, i’ve seen marie antoinette like a zillion times, so i totally know what caused it,” she let out a wistful sigh as she thought of the movie, “she was such an icon even if she was a horrible queen. i mean, ‘let them eat cake,’ they didn’t even have bread, marie, how can they possibly have cake?”

[darcyeds]

wcrdstctheswanscng​:

“you implied that i had a, what was it? checkered past,” she reminded darcy, her own arms loosely circling her waist. “i don’t think you’re trying to be malicious, but i also don’t think you realize the impact of what you’re saying.” normally esme turned a blind eye to the hushed mentions of her misgivings, usually because they were never actually said to her face, but this was a struggle, as she truly didn’t believe darcy even realized why esme was offended. her past was sordid, sure, and even now she was far from perfect, but she liked to think she was still a decent person for it, or at the very least that her least harmful transgression was the one on trial now, even if she was the one willingly approaching the bench. “i wasn’t going to tell you the details,” she countered, having learned her lesson already. for a moment she actually felt bad for darcy, the way she instinctively tried to hide any amount of desire she saw as wrong. “do you know how different things were when our parents were teenagers? and do you think your parents didn’t act on impulse, not even once?” that much was a moot point, and getting into rebelling against parents was not a hill esme was willing to die on, knowing her values there differed with more than just one person. “regardless,” she quickly dismissed, “and no, i won’t tell anyone about your biologically instinctual and natural desires that you keep bottled up because someone told you to be ashamed, don’t worry. your reputation won’t rival mine anytime soon.”

she felt like she wasn’t getting anywhere with the other girl. she had set out simply to invite her to join friendship club and help end the baby project and ended up talking herself into a grave. and knowing esme’s reputation, she would likely start throwing dirt on top of her at any moment while the funeral march played in the background. “i’m really not trying to be malicious at all,” she was grateful that she realized that and maybe today was not going to be darcy’s death day. “i just totally talk without thinking sometimes. i need to really work on that if i want to make new friends and recruit new members,” she told her. it was all too easy for darcy to get caught up in the moment and not realize just how judgmental she was as a result of her raising. she wasn’t sure how, but she needed to learn how to balance the principles that her faith was ground in and not being a judge-y bitch. she was a work in progress. “oh, good. not that you shouldn’t talk about it,” she tried to cover quickly, “i mean, it’s your life, do what you want. but like i figured you’d have people you were closer with to talk about it to. so yeah, i’m glad we agree on not,” she waved her hand in front of her throat like she was cutting the conversation, “giving me the details,” she knew she was still just talking too much rather than letting bygones be bygones. “look, no offense, but i don’t really want to think about my parents acting on impulse,” or think about them at all even though she was the one who had brought up the conversation, “but i’m sure they did some things without thinking or impulsively, but they didn’t do everything until after they were married, i’m sure of it,” her cheeks were reddening just thinking about what she was defending. she wasn’t sure whether to be grateful for esme agreeing to keep her secret or feel some other type of way because of the way she phrased it. sure, it was natural, but that didn’t mean she should allow herself to feel them. right? that was a thought she wasn’t quite ready to explore. “thanks, i think,” she told her.

[darcyeds]

📸 💋💕 -spinner

send  📸  for  an  instagram  post  about  your  muse

posted! 

send  💋  for  a  flirty  text  from  my  muse

darcy ✉️ spinner : you looked really good at the party last night, even with all of the paint darcy ✉️ spinner : it made me miss how nice things used to be with us

send  💕  for  a  loving  text  from  my  muse

darcy ✉️ spinner : i am so lucky to have a guy like you in my life 💓 darcy ✉️ spinner : i love you spinner mason 💞💞

@fidgetspiner

[darcyeds]

@fidgetspiner

[deqrassi-blog]

[darcyeds]

wcrdstctheswanscng​:

“your belief is that i should be sorry for showing the wrong form of affection just because i’m not legally bound to the person. that’s not supposed to make me feel weird or bad?” she knew it wasn’t in line with keeping the civility, but part of esme now wanted to attend, if only to prove the assumption wrong that she’d be welcomed as warmly as darcy presumed. either she was mistaken and the club was receptive of her, or she got to say ‘i told you so’, and though one result was a bit petulant, esme won either way. “frankly, i’ve done much worse than that anyway,” she interjected, offering the pamphlet back her way. “i can’t imagine why not,” she droned, offering a pointed look. “you can have different beliefs. you can not want sex. there’s nothing wrong with that. but i’m not a bad person for wanting it, and while i’m sure you’ve heard enough to imply otherwise, it’s not like i’m galivanting around the province spread eagle. good luck with your club or whatever, but my advice is to not try to tell potential members that they have something to feel guilty about,” she shrugged.

“i never said you should be sorry for it,” darcy pointed out, “so please don’t put words in my mouth. i said that i am waitinging until i am legally bound to someone to show affection in that way. and i also took back what i said about if you wanted forgiveness, which i shouldn’t have even had to do because i never said you had to or should do it. it’s a choice. you choose whatever works for you,” she knew that she could be judgmental. it was a flaw and she was working on it... sorta. not really. but she could say that she was, at least. “i just have different beliefs, but i wanted you to come regardless of what yours were. i figured everyone could use a few extra friends, but clearly you don’t want us,” she took the pamphlet back and added it on top of her stack. “i really don’t need to know the details,” she told her. “and i never-” she stopped herself and dropped her voice much lower, not wanting everyone in the degrassi halls to hear what she was about to say, “i didn’t say that i don’t want it. i just don’t act on it because it’s just how i was raised and what i believe. and i don’t think you’re a bad person for doing it. we’re just-” she looked at esme and shrugged a single shoulder, “we’re just different. and fine. thanks for the advice,” she sighed and pushed some hair behind her ear. “and just- please don’t tell anyone what i said about wanting it, okay? i have a reputation to uphold.” truthfully, she did want it, and felt guilty for it. and she figured admitting that much to esme might humanize her, but it could also just get her ridiculed. it was hard to tell which it would be with the girl in front of her.

[darcyeds]

wcrdstctheswanscng​:

“neither am i,” she countered, the statement true for the most part. she didn’t want to turn this into an argument, least of all that brought the facets of one’s religion into play, but this was now a matter of darcy’s perception of esme, and she couldn’t help push that button some. pausing to hear the explanation through, it wasn’t anything new to her, esme still unimpressed. “hi, i’m esme. i enjoy getting railed, but i’d also like to get married one day.” the response was a little drastic, but she said what she said, and in her mind, it rendered them even. “but there’s still that part about thinking i’m the devil,” she reminded, “like, i’m actually pretty sure you’d piss off all of your members if they knew you’d even invited me.”

darcy winced slightly at the girl’s choice of words, clearly uncomfortable with the entire interaction at this point. “that’s great,” she forced out, trying to keep her smile, but it fell after just a moment. “look, if you don’t want to give the club a shot, you can just say no. you don’t have to try to make me feel weird or bad because i have beliefs that are different than yours,” she ended up saying exasperatedly. “i was trying to be nice and friendly and welcome you into a group of wonderful people whose entire thing is friendship, but you’re making it so hard,” she knew she had gone from digging herself into a hole to digging her own grave. “come or don’t. but no one’s going to be mad at me for inviting you. that’s not what we do,” and that was something that she naively believed. “but if you don’t, can i at least have my pamphlet back? simpson charges us for every copy we make and we’re not exactly everyone’s favorite fundraiser to support.”

[darcyeds]

wcrdstctheswanscng​:

at darcy’s fluster, it was evident enough that it wasn’t so much a misspeak now with her retraction. she knew how her “extracurriculars” were perceived by students similar to darcy, and she didn’t not notice the sideways glances she got in the halls from those less tolerant of her publicized behavior, but it wasn’t often that she had to floor to address it directly. not that she so had the desire to do so, but it was better than letting the campus assume the worst of her, even if it was a fruitless battle most days. “you may not be the one to decide, but you’re the one that chooses whether or not you agree with it,” she challenged calmly, slowly closing the cover to the pamphlet. “and whether not not i need it, that still sort of implies that you think i’ve done something worth asking forgiveness for. do you?”

it seemed with every word that came out of darcy’s mouth, she was just digging herself deeper and deeper into a hole. and she knew more of esme’s reputation than just the premarital sex that she had already admitted to. degrassi was quite a rumor mill, but none of the colorful ones going around ever quite measured up to the ones that traveled about esme. of course, she had no clue what was and wasn’t true, but it seemed like it wasn’t a good idea to be on the girl’s bad side. “i’m not trying to start anything here, esme,” she told the girl, hoping her words wouldn’t fall on deaf ears, “i’ll be honest that i don’t agree with premarital sex and i’ve made a commitment to save myself for marriage,” she flashed her purity ring, “but that’s a decision i made for myself, not for anyone else,” she left out the part where it was a decision she made when she was far too young to understand it, but was constantly guilted by the people who surrounded her to uphold the vow, “i know i’m coming across like so judgey right now,” she looked down at her sneakers, “can we just start over? hi, i’m darcy. and friendship club would love you have you visit just to see what we’re all about, not to change you or anything.”

[darcyeds]

fidgetspiner​:

spinner didn’t care what anyone had to say about their complicated relationship there’s some things in life he refuses to resist and she was on of those things. “you got me there. i doubt it was talked about too much anyway.” he says though knowing his friends he’s sure they told people about it. “it’s fine i’m over it now.” which was basically true though some days he struggle but he wasn’t about to say that. letting out a chuckle at the name she gave his ex he nods. “i like whatsherface better but the story is pretty short. she cheated on me, i punched the dude, and now i’m done with her.” 

after their last breakup and when he had gotten together with jane, darcy had been afraid that their complicated relationship would be entirely over, but this change in events made her wonder if their door was still open. not that she wanted to jump immediately back into something, but knowing there was at least hope for her first love was something beautiful in her eyes. “i guess it wasn’t. at least not to me,” she said, “but i’m glad you’re over it,” she added. but when she heard about what jane had done, her heart broke for him. no one deserved to be treated like that. “that’s awful,” her words were sincere. “is your hand okay?” she asked, instinctively looking to the one that was holding his cup before looking back at him once more, “are you okay?” sure, he said he was over it, but that didn’t always mean he wasn’t still hurting. 

[darcyeds]

wcrdstctheswanscng​:

for as casual as darcy had been about the encounter thus far, it was easy for esme to at least let her talk; she wasn’t solidified in any religion herself, though she had her soft beliefs, but it didn’t hurt to let darcy elaborate. that is until her final sentiment, one that didn’t exactly sit right with esme. perhaps she was misunderstanding, but it sounded like a little of that judgement she dismissed was seeping through after all. “i don’t feel like i need to be forgiven for anything… i’m not hurting anybody.”

darcy felt like she was off to a good start at potentially recruiting someone new to friendship club and ending the baby project for good. but just as quickly as it had started, she noticed suddenly esme didn’t seem as interested in her pitch. darcy’s own smile flattened back out at the girl’s reply. not everyone was ready for the forgiveness approach to the club. “oh- i didn’t mean-” she quickly tried to backtrack her words without saying anything else that could come across the wrong way, “i just meant-” she stopped herself and took a deep breath to collect her thoughts, “i’m not the one who gets to decide what does and doesn’t need to be forgiven. no one in friendship club or this school or anywhere else has that power. i didn’t mean that it’s something you need. but if you wanted it, it’s always available,” she wasn’t sure if she was making things worse or better, “or if you don’t, that’s fine too. we’d be happy to have you in the club either way.”

[darcyeds]

jcyson​:​

“i mean, armstrong’s a dick as well as the rest of the school’s staff, so it’s not too surprising. probably got his own baby at home pissin’ him off, so he wants us to suffer too,” words are spoken carelessly, paired with an occasional shrug. his eyebrows do raise though, right after, in the way they always do when something stupid is bound to come out of his mouth seconds later. “oh no, wouldn’t want that, now would we?” he smirks, “that’s about half the reason most of us even show up to this dump, to see you girls run around in your cute little skirts and matching pom poms,” he teases. and it is just teasing, because he knows darcy’s off limits, courtesy to spinner of course, ( no matter the relationship status ), but it doesn’t stop the satisfaction of ruffling her feathers, especially when she makes it so easy. he lets off a snort at the pamphlet, half expecting her to withdraw it within the next second, scrunch her nose up, and offer some sort of smart ass comment. “you’re aware of who you’re offering that to, right? what, you’re not expecting it to burst into flames the second it touches my hand?” 

darcy’s smile briefly faltered at jay and his choice of language. she shouldn’t have been too surprised, she felt she knew jay a little too well for comfort thanks to her on-and-off relationship with his best friend. but she shook her initial negative feelings for jay off and put her smile right back on, being the best salesperson she could be to end the baby project and potentially recruit new members for friendship club. “and if he does have a baby, that’s a wonderful blessing for him and his wife. but it’s not something teenagers should be worrying about,” she fell back into her spiel about how the fake baby was actually a horrible project. “no, we wouldn’t,” she was more than aware that her status as a cheerleader and how she and her fellow power squad members looked in their uniforms did a lot to get students interested in various school activities, but she always pretended to be naive to it all. it was just pure luck that she had gotten more guys to give the club a shot than most other members. “all we do is help boost school spirit. i’m so glad it’s working to keep delinquents like you from dropping out,” her grin was entirely fake now as she cocked her head slightly. he had a way of getting under her skin like no other and it drove her crazy. “oh, i’m aware,” she nodded, continuing to hold the pamphlet out to him, “maybe that’s what i want to happen,” she let out a fake chuckle, “i’m joking. i promise it’s flame free. you should know that friendship club accepts anyone, jay. you saw what it did for spinner and he walked away scar free. you can always give it a shot. and if you hate it, you can walk away, too.”

[darcyeds]

wcrdstctheswanscng​:

it wasn’t worth getting into the logistics of how the daycare efforts would be wasted on such a short term project, esme leaving it at hearing her out. “oh…” opening the front cover, it dawned on esme what the club actually was - utterly unfitting for her, for starters. “half the school thinks i’m the devil incarnate, and my teenage extracurriculars already involve premarital sex, so i don’t think i’m your model member.”

she looked on hopefully as the girl opened the pamphlet, but he smile quickly fell as esme seemed quite disinterested in the club. she had usually been so good at recruiting new members, or at least getting people interested enough to try it once. of course, those people she convinced were ones that tended to have ulterior motives with darcy and she took advantage of that. “that’s the beauty of friendship club, though,” she said, pulling a smile back on her face, “yes, it’s based in religion. but no one judges anyone in there. we’ve had some people with pretty checkered pasts come in and everyone welcomes them with open arms. and as far as premarital sex goes,” the one part of the bible her parents had thrust on her more heavily than others, “we’re a very forgiving bunch, just ask spinner.”

[darcyeds]

therivaswearspradax​:

“You won’t, unless you enjoy eyebags running on 3 hours of sleep. Maybe I can help. I’m sure when he sees more than one student concerned he’ll consider it. And, I can be very convincing.” If getting the project shut down would be possible then the sooner the better. Zoe already wasn’t looking forward to it and it was a whole year away, she was sure that changing Mr. Simpsons mind about the assignment wouldn’t be that hard. Or getting herself out of it at least. Zoe let out a sound between a laugh and a scoff hearing Darcy talk about friendship bracelets. But still, she was warming up to the idea of joining another club. She averted her eyes and began to actually consider joining.  “Okay.” The word came out of her mouth slowly but once it was out there she didn’t regret. “I guess coming for one meeting shouldn’t hurt. Where do you guys meet?”

she was surprised to have gotten zoe on her side so quickly. sure, they knew each other decently well from power cheer, but she always assumed the girl’s flare for the dramatics would make her want to participate in such a grueling school project, but that didn’t seem to be the case at all. “you’re so right. and the more of us that go to him about it, the more likely he’ll actually listen to our concerns,” she mused aloud, following the girl’s train of thought. “but why stop at just us? i’m sure linus could get a petition put together, sponsored by the friendship club. if we got enough signatures, there’s no way they could force us to participate next year. and with two cheerleaders passing it around, we’re destined to get plenty of people interested in the cause,” the idea was fueling her excitement over getting the babies cancelled before she had to take one home and hear yet another lecture about premarital sex from her parents over a silly project. “it totally won’t hurt at all. and you can give us more ideas about how to get this up and going.” 

[darcyeds]

wcrdstctheswanscng​:​

clearly esme was in full agreement as referenced by the dramatic, anguished groan she offered in lieu of anything verbal. the project wasn’t off to a great start as it was, and the reminder of how much more there was to impede was unwelcome to say the least. oblivious, esme reached out to accept the information, barely glancing over the title. “as in, pawn the baby off on my friends to babysit?”

darcy kept her typical smile on as the other girl didn’t seem quite as excited for the pamphlet as she had hoped. “well, not exactly,” she started, “though i have considered talking to simpson about getting a daycare started for the fake parents who wish to come to friendship club and get a break from the crying doll for a bit,” she went off on her little tangent, “but friendship club would be able to give tips about how to avoid being in the baby situation altogether so that you have time to actually be a teenager and have fun and participate in extracurricular activities without worrying about a baby.”

[darcyeds]

fionsarabella​:

Fiona briefly wondered how Darcy could recall when her younger sister was a baby, but that thought quickly went away when the girl continued talking. Grateful that Darcy offered to carry something for her, she felt compelled to tak her up on the offer of walking her to class – even if it did mean listening to her pitch on the Friendship club. “I suppose it wouldn’t hurt to hear what it’s all about.” Darcy’s heart seemed to be in the right place, either way. “Isn’t there kind of a religious element to the club?” Fiona asked tentatively; it wasn’t like the meetings she attended outside didn’t have a religious aspect to them, aa meetings tended to have a part about accepting god into your life – something which she hadn’t quite done.

darcy perked up a bit more when the girl didn’t decline her offer to walk her to class so she’d have the opportunity to tell her more about friendship club. “i’m so glad you’re up for hearing more about it. it’s a wonderful group,” she started, not entirely sure just how much in detail she should go with the girl, not wanting to push her away considering some of the more controversial elements to the club. but then fiona brought them up herself, she supposed the club did have its own reputation. “it does. the group is rooted in christianity, but that’s not the only thing that we are about. we talk about a lot of common issues teens face today and ways to deal with them. we just happen to back up those ways with verses from the bible, but it doesn’t make the information and advice any less viable,” she explained, hoping she would be open enough to give the club a shot. “in fact, one of my favorite verses that we use to encourage other teens is 1 timothy 4:12. it says ‘don’t let anyone look down on your because you are young. instead, set an example for the believers through your speech, behavior, love, faith and purity.’” it was a verse that had been drilled into her since she was young as a way to show others the light. “isn’t it so encouraging? friendship club empowers people from our generation to stand up and make a statement.”

[darcyeds]

santamcrias​:​

“of course i believe it! do i think its fair? no. do i think i’d look super cute carrying around one of those babies though? yes.” she replied with a playful smile, looking up at the other. “it like kinda makes sense though? someone here might end up pregnant, so at least he’s helping prepare them!” she took the pamphlet, looking down at it before giving a small shrug. “i could maybe stop by sometime!” she replied, not being too big on the idea but not wanting ot hurt the others feelings. “how long do the meetings last?” 

“i totally agree that you’d look super cute carrying a baby,” she paused briefly before continuing, “once you’re older, married, and financially stable enough to give the child the type of life it deserves. that’s not something any high school teenager can do,” she explained her line of thinking regarding the entire assignment. “what if this project makes young girls think they have what it takes to raise a baby so young? teenage pregnancy rates are already so tragically high, we don’t need to contribute to that by making high schoolers think raising a child is as simple as putting a fake bottle in a baby’s mouth,” she continues. her smile was once again on her face as the girl considered stopping by, “oh, you so should,” excitement in her voice. “they only last the lunch period, so they’re so not long at all. and you can bring your tray in from the cafeteria and everything. plus, we sometimes go on fun trips together, either camping or we’ve gone to the beach. it’s such a fun time, i’m sure you’ll love it.”