Joo Jaekyung theory: OCD and alexithymia?
Iāve posted this on twitter a few weeks ago, so I thought sharing this theory here.
Disclaimer: Iām not psychologist/psychiatrist, these are just theories as a fan and give an artistic POV criticism to understand Joo Jaekyungās character and his development.
Alexithymia
Whatās alexithymia? Itās also called āemotional blindnessā, itās a deficiency when someone have problems identifying, processing, describing, and working with oneās own feelings, often marked by a lack of understanding of the feelings of others. (Wikipedia)
However, alexithymiaās symptoms and signs are not the same towards every individual. Therefore, here are the symptoms that I believe connect to JJK.
Poorly differentiated emotions and describe them:
I believe JJK can recognize a few emotions as Anger, Annoyance, Confidence, Desire, Disgust, Excitement, Impatience, Pride, Rage, Satisfaction etc. But more complex and/or elaborated emotions, JK struggles to differentiated and express them.
Ep. 10, JK tells Dan āWhy do you live in a place like that? Itās disgustingā
You can argue this, but this is JKās way to show heās worry. To him, it doesnāt make sense that a human that receives $14k would live poorly like that, he lacks sympathy to deliver his worry. Then we have Danās reaction, he feels humiliated and tells JK āitās none of your business!ā But then JK says āwhatās the problem? Am I wrong?ā logically, heās not wrong. Socially, thatās not something to say.
To JK, Dan should feel ashamed to live in a place like that, BUT since weāve read Danās POV, we know he feels humiliated because a rich man who pays him for sex is criticizing his sentimental place. JK doesnāt understand why Dan is not ashamed and why itās his fault that KD got offended. JK doesnāt connect emotionally with physical objects.
The difficulty in identifying and describing feelings are associated with hyperactivity and impulsivity.
Iām just gonna quote Wikipedia:
āAn inability to modulate emotions is a possibility in explaining why some people with alexithymia are prone to discharge tension arising from unpleasant emotional states through impulsive acts or compulsive behaviours such as [ā¦] perverse sexual behaviour [ā¦].ā
I find this sign interesting; we can agree that JK is hyperactive: he workouts a lot, injured or not, he doesnāt rest. I think that the best example of this sign is from ep. 34 when Heesung told JK he has feelings for KD. JK refuses to admit he has romantic feelings, to him, itās an unpleasant emotion to feel attached to someone, so what was his reaction? Impulsive perverse sexual behaviour: the BDSM sensory scene. Right after he made his point to Heesung, he asked himself āWhat am I doing?ā
Problem processing his romantic feelings.
Alexithymia and relationships
Quote from Wikipedia: āAlexithymia [ā¦] individuals tend to avoid emotionally close relationships, or if they do[,] they usually position themselves as either dependent, dominant, or impersonal, such that the relationship remains superficial.ā
Can we agree that ep.34 JK tried to prove to himself that there were no feelings and KD was just an employee/sex toy? āthereās no relationship here. Kim Dan is my possession.ā
Causes of alexithymia: since we donāt know anything regarding JKās story, these are my theories of what could be.
Ep. 14, the shadow says: āa little baby like you?ā Ep.49 Baek Jumin says āAre you gonna cry like a little baby when you lose?ā and āIāll never forget how you were as a kid. A little bitch ass punk.ā
My take is, JK grew up in a foster family/orphanage, without his family/parents. The reason I think this is because he doesnāt get attached to objects, if itās not useful, he doesnāt need it. If we look at his penthouse, thereās no object that heās attached to. Hence, the reason he didnāt understand why KD was living in a ādisgustingā place. I think JK was weak as a kid, which would make sense why heās obsessed to not lose and to always be the strongest. If JK was not bullied, I think he witnessed violence as a child (sexual abuse maybe?). Either way, JK had to fight to survive.
Now, back to causes of alexithymia: The disaffected individual that had experienced overwhelming emotion that threatened to attack their sense of integrity and identity. This is a psychological defence to reject all emotional representations from consciousness. I believe this is why his title is so important to him, why he needs to stay the champion.
Obsessive Compulsive Disorder
This person explains why JKās jinx might be OCD, find the tik tok below
https://www.tiktok.com/@ivy.lovell/video/7479847930283805995
Iāve read a study that says thereās a correlation between alexithymia and OCD. Alexithymia is correlated with the severity of OCD symptoms. If his jinx is JKās compulsion, this explains why JK is so detached regarding his partnerās desire.
What gave me this understanding was on ep.20 Theyāre having sex in front of a mirror, and JK changes position so KD can see as well and JK says: āDonāt look away! Iām showing you out of the goodness of my heart!ā This might sound sarcastic, but I think JK wanted KD to enjoy sex as much as he does. Then, JK says: āI figured you just didnāt have it in you, but it looks like everythingās in working order. You know how to get it up and everything.ā JK thought KD had an erectile problem! In his mind, since KD was/accepted having sex with him, KD enjoyed their sex moments. On ep. 63, KD says heās not doing this because he wants to and JK thinks: āHeās not doing this because he wants to? Then what about all those times he cried and blew his load while having sex?ā JK is surprised by this, he simply cannot understand, and he didnāt process at all that KD didnāt enjoy every time they had sex (cuz we know he did sometimes.) He genuinely thought they had āsexual chemistryā.
On ep. 13 the doctor suggested to kiss and do some foreplay before having sex. We know that JK likes (a lot) to kiss KD, but when was the first time he did some foreplay with KD? On ep.29 right after he saw on TV (the romantic movie) a man sucking a womanās nipple. I read a testimony from an alexithymia woman that she reads/write romance so she can learn/understand those emotions. On a group discussion on twitter, we gave this theory that JK watches romantic movies to understand those emotions.
JK needs to be told constantly what he needs to do in this or that situation, or what this or that reaction means from others. Ep.10, JK was going to leave KD in his apartment, but KD asked to not leave him alone, thatās when JK took KD with him. Ep.13, the doctor said KD needed rest, eat well, to do foreplay, kiss. Ep.15 KD asked to be advised in advance so he can prepare himself. And ep.65, Granny tells JK how bad KDās health has been and JKās reason to bring KD to Seoul is now different and looks out to him.
Overall, JK recycle anger/rudeness as a reaction to his emotions. Particularly when heās worry and care about Kim Dan.
