midnight-thoughts and sleepless-nights

~My weapons of choice are words and paint brushes. I turn my pain into art instead of pulling the trigger, and maybe one day my writing will have an impact on someone, or many. But for now though, Tumblr will be my new diary~ #midnight thoughts #spilled thoughts #excerpts from a story I'll never write #writing #poetry #heartbreak #aesthetics (22 years old, she/her)

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

“match my freak” how about you match my poetic misery instead

[pareisakti]

Bet u can't

[obscurix]

all of this anger was once love.

[orpheuspilled]

MESSAGE TO ALL BITCHES: WE ARE SURVIVING THIS YEAR NO MATTER WHAT.

[orpheuspilled]

CAUSE PROBLEMS ON PURPOSE.

[crushpdf]

Make the most of the next two months

Get all your vaccines

Travel while we have a functioning DOT

Read and buy books on feminism, anti-racism, pro-lgbt

Attend drag shows

Don't skip any of your classes

Read and buy history books

Find your out-of-state networks

Learn to carry cash

Get birth control solutions

Support the Biden/Harris administration

Postpone large purchases and save money

Be careful of what you say online, like un-ambiguous attacks against the incoming administration, especially in spaces that contain your full name or personal information

Feel free to add on.

[slasheru]

hello again (bill clinton limewire voice) my fellow americans

There are a few states that actually have Shield/Refuge laws designed to help trans people fleeing from trans-unsafe states, which also guarantee trans folks access to healthcare. These states are:

California

Colorado

Illinois

Oregon

Vermont

Washington

Minnesota

New Mexico

Maine

Massachusetts

Rhode Island

Connecticut

Washington D.C.

Additionally, some states have "trans sanctuary" executive orders signifying safety for trans folks seeking healthcare. These states are:

Maryland

New Jersey

New York

Living as a resident in these states means you are protected by state's rights and state government to continue or begin receiving trans healthcare. These laws have been codified in their states so everything has been a-ok'd by their state governments.

Stay alive. You got this. I love you.

[goodguydotmp3]

Black folx don't get caught slippin. Crosscheck this list with these maps made by and thoroughly researched by tougaloo college.

They're a map of sundown towns across the u.s. one is interactive. also, side note, if you know a sundown town that isn't on there, please contact them and they will follow up on it.

[johnny-depp-is-loved]

Please, spread this for those who might need it right now

U.S. suicide hotline: call or text 988 (available 24 hours)

U.S. trans lifeline: [phone] (when you call, you’ll speak to a trans/nonbinary peer operator. full anonymity and confidentiality)

Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) National Helpline: 1-800-662-HELP (4357) – provides 24/7 confidential support and referrals for individuals and families facing mental health and substance use disorders, including panic attacks and anxiety.

LGBT National Help Center: [phone]

Trevor Project: Call [phone], text START to 678-678, or chat online.

Take care of yourself and each other. Please stay safe ♡

[inkskinned]

executive dysfunction is legitimately physically uncomfortable. i’ll be trapped between two things, weirdly caught on how-much-time-it-might-take-me. i take hours worried im going to take hours doing things. i’ll sit on the floor for the entire day, caught up in the middle of not-doing the chores i actually do want to be doing.

& the amount of mental energy that goes into it. & the legitimate amount of anger and discomfort and self-hate. is not “being lazy”.  it’d be a lot less work if i didn’t have to fight myself to just get up and do it. 

i just need you to understand it’s not effortless. it’s never effortless. it’s not “okay let me just get up and finally start doing this.” it’s more like. i am slamming my foot on the pedal but the car is in neutral and nothing is moving. it’s more like shouting instructions into a dying telephone. it’s more like being trapped in a small electric box, and someone who hates me is administering shocks. 

im trying. im trying. please help me get up.

[blownawayy]

i thought it was hard, i knew nothing

[greelin]

something genuinely insane about going somewhere and getting to feel “i had some of the worst years of my life here” and “i was loved here, once” simultaneously.

[greelin]

the structure rots and the plants reclaim. But i remember

[kosmogrl]

[mournfulroses]

Trista Mateer, from "Aphrodite Made Me Do It," originally published in 2024

[givemeantypsychotics]

i don't want to heal i want them pay for what they did

[emotionaleating]

when someone doesn’t wanna tell me what i did wrong and suddenly i’m 8 years old wondering what i did to make my mom mad again

[oxypill]

sometimes i open up like an open wound

[wowlookwhosspirallingagain]

i’ve spent my whole life trying to be someone else. how am i supposed to know who i really am anymore? i don’t know my own favorite color or food, i’m not sure what i enjoy doing and what i’m forcing myself to do for people to like me

[i-will-recover-tomorrow]

[quoteastic]

I still get sad about what happened. Every now and then it just hits me. Sometimes, it takes days for me to get over it.