darkest poet

a trying student

[darkest-poet]

est. 6/4/22 - angel // ravenclaw, cabin 11, theatre enthusiast, candle-lover, victim to catholic school latin, hey!

hello and welcome! this is my academia blog where i post about my thoughts, school, advice, and sometimes whatever is going on in my life.

i love to make friends so please don't be afraid to interact! i may not post every day, but i'm still on here :)

about me:

i'm a teenage stem student studying health sciences. of course, i love to read and write. i enjoy all genres, especially mystery and fantasy. i love writing poems and short stories! (i'd love to write a novel, but haven't found any inspiration or proper commitment in a while...) i've enjoyed the study community for a long time on youtube, but i'm trying to get more involved on tumblr. i want to use this blog as an outlet for my interests and as a place to be more productive.

blog for geeking out about non-academia things: @dewyswirls

(p.s. check out my irl friend chaotic-theatrical-weaver if you may be interested in rambles for mainly “the crucible”, and little fires everywhere. i’m sure someone will get the references!)

[darkest-poet]

really questioning where the time’s gone after logging back into tumblr after so long. four years… wow. life has honestly just taken priority, but i miss when i had all the time in the world. it hasn’t even felt that long. hopefully i’ll be able to be back here because i have missed it sincerely.

[darkest-poet]

“the cure” but in a neil perry and todd anderson kinda way

OR3 but in a dead poets society kinda way

“you seem pretty sad for a boy so in love with the world”

[dewyswirls]

okay; long ramble, but i recently saw harry potter and the cursed child and wow. what an experience it was. i did not take the reviews of the effects seriously because they were not kidding about how excellent it was. the dementors flying?? the neon writing all over the theater?? the ripples whenever the time turner was used?? the one second costume changes?? i was in awe every second. when voldemort walked through the aisle i was actually scared, but it was so funny. i'm seriously obsessed and i can't wait to buy tickets again to reexperience it.

aside from that, could scorbus be any more obvious... the show was a field trip for my class, and we all picked up on the vibes as we watched it. when they were having moments i always looked over at my friend and we were giggling!! oh and the stairs scene killed me every time they passed each other, but couldn't talk. i have so much to say about scorbus, but i think that i can save it for another post.

basically, i have severe homesickness for the wizarding world. i have harry potter phases, like with hogwarts mystery, hogwarts legacy (that one was so bad that i got back into shifting for it, what!!) and now with the cursed child. when scorpius and albus traveled to the triwizard tournament and were in the audience, it made me miss hp so much. i would love to witness quidditch matches... it made hogwarts so much more real for me and i mourn my wizard life!!

[darkest-poet]

i absolutely love summer. going to the beach/boardwalk, getting ice cream with friends, going to carnivals, but also walking through the forest, swimming in creeks and lakes, picking flowers and fruit, visiting the fields, catching fireflies, stargazing, and camping out?? yes, give me all the whimsy!

[darkest-poet]

the secret history brought me out of my extremely long reading slump, like i forgot what it feels like to fixate on something this much, nonetheless a book!!! i cannot stop obsessing over everything and i haven't even finished it yet. genuinely on my mind 24/7 like ugh donna tartt you've got me in a chokehold

[dewyswirls]

seriously i regret taking latin for granted when i took it in school because the secret history would’ve hit so much harder if i could understand the phrases when i read them. like how did i miss “cubitum eamus” and had to google it…

[darkest-poet]

i cant get over “now and then”. it feels like perfect closure with how everything’s come full circle, and i couldnt imagine it any other way

i just wish i could share this memory with my grandpa, who was the one who played their songs every day and got me into them. i have fond memories of listening to “paperback writer” together and learning to play “norwegian wood” on the violin for my family

it feels surreal and like such a gift that as a young beatles’ fan i get to receive a new song in my lifetime

these lyrics hold great importance to me

[darkest-poet]

feeling anxious yet eager because im running for student council president. the brain rot is real as im trying to come up with my campaign posters and speech. my greatest motivation: knowing that itll be worth it at the end of the year when i get my recognition and hopefully valedictorian if everything plays out well.

trying to live up to my academic expectations,, i have to do it for future me and past me who was full of hope for this school year

[darkest-poet]

fall season is here, meaning it’s the time where i get back into my turtlenecks and doc martens, as well as play “roslyn” and “bags” on repeat

[darkest-poet]

your reminder that people who spread rumors and gossip are simply envious and aren’t worth your time; they are unable to find something genuine to comment on about you and begin to create worthless ideas. moreover, notice how these types of people only focus on the few minor, insignificant aspects about you—they ignore your countless accomplishments and piles of success.

as stated by drake, “haters will broadcast your failures, but whisper your success.”

keep thriving.

[darkest-poet]

it’s sick how people you thought you could fully trust end up having another side you never knew. it really sucks to be talked about behind your back by someone or people you really cared about—especially when they talk about something you can’t control. i can’t help it that my reaction to stressful situations is to cry, or that i may react strongly about things that seem small. it hurts especially when these reactions stem from your childhood and are a result from trauma. at the same time i can’t blame them; they don’t know about it at all. it’s also not their fault that i’m so closed off and struggle to open up. it still stings badly. i couldn’t catch a break in my childhood and i still can’t now. these situations also further encourage me to continue to keep to myself.

[darkest-poet]

Happy one year to my Tumblr blog. I still remember 2022 me sitting at my desk typing at my laptop one of my first posts. I’m really thankful for the people who enjoy what I share. I haven’t been active much, but I plan on revamping my page soon. :)

[darkest-poet]

that terrible feeling when you try to be your biggest fan but at the same time you’re your only fan

[darkest-poet]

don’t know if it’s just me, but lately there’s been an influx of bot followers. it’s really frustrating, especially when you see some notifications, hoping that someone finds your content interesting, but it’s just a bot. hope that somehow this problem can be fixed, but of course, it’s the internet; it’s inevitable.

[darkest-poet]

being sad is such a complex emotion. your stomach drops and chills spread throughout your body. you just feel numb; all you can do is sigh repeatedly. your heart gets heavy—you can physically feel it—and all you want to do is lay face-down in your bed, or maybe you’d rather stare at the plain ceiling. other times, it’s more passionate. you have to hold back tears by biting your lip and focusing your attention on something else, maybe by staring into the distance repeating “don’t cry. don’t cry.” or “you’re ok. you’re ok.” the waves of pain pull you away. this time, you don’t just feel numb. you can really feel the hurt caused to you. it’s like your heart is getting stabbed and sliced raw.

sadness is a complicated thing!

[darkest-poet]

it’s back to school season, which means before I go back, I need to decide my personality.

should I be the mysterious girl who rarely speaks, yet when she does, she says something that sticks with you forever? or should I be the sunny person who is always there to offer a smile and a conversation filled with laughter?

this is so difficult! :(