DarkLordMushu

I am the one thing in life I can control

[darklordmushu]

Ray Ban Sunglasses Official Charity Event!

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The official charity event of Ray-Ban sunglasses, all styles of glasses are only $24.99! We will donate 50% of the profits to the COVID-19 epidemic prevention department. Every purchase is your support for charity, thank you!

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[dark-sappho]

waiting for my turn to speak in a conversation and trying not to interrupt literally feels like I'm trying to jump into a game of double dutch

[dark-sappho]

me trying to use my abysmal social skills

[jellogram]

One time I was at an aquarium with my mom and she asked me what sea creature I would want to be, if I had to choose out of all the ones we saw that day, and I was like "What was the ugly eel? Wolf eel. I want to be the wolf eel." And she was like "....why?" and I knew right then that my mother would never understand me.

[tothechaos]

me trying to convince myself that the whole spectrum of human emotions is a good and necessary thing to feel even if its not comfortable while im actively experiencing emotions that make me feel like my bones are being dissolved in acid

[helloitsbees]

How did you give yourself an EAR INFECTION eating pussy

im just gonna screenshot from a text i sent my friends after the doctors visit

[helloitsbees]

you can’t fucking do this to me

[im-fairly-whitty]

Queen of Crete overrules her husband and raises their new son normally, prince turns out real okay actually.

[thefingerfuckingfemalefury]

Turns out you can solve the whole Minotaur problem by not locking a child in a baffling maze and feeding them nothing but terrified human sacrifices

[androfembot]

note to self: do NOT double the chocolate chip cookie recipe. the mixer can’t handle it. I can’t handle it. my knees hurt. I’ve been rotating cookie sheets since I was born and I will be rotating cookie sheets until I die

[androfembot]

help

[alder-knight]

[memewhore]

[omgeddon-deactivated20260424]

I don't need samsung's permission to fold my phone in half.

[greater-than-the-sword]

Kidnapped and experimented on by aliens but I was in the control group so nothing happened

[yugiohz]

DID MY YAOI STICKERS ARRIVE

[yugiohz]

it was my bachelor degree 😑

[greelin]

[COVERED IN BLOOD] Perhaps the world is slightly brighter having me in it.

[hungwy]

people born in 2000 should be like 12-14 now. but they’re not. that’s how fucked up our world is now

[how-not-to-human]

The older this post gets the funnier it becomes

[duchesspeggy]

My cousin born in 2000 is a licensed psychologist.

[shepardoftheearth]

that’s how fucked up our world is now

[mossbeds]

no i’d love to hang out it’s just that i died in a barn fire 100 years ago and no longer have a physical form :(

[rylandsgrace]

Amongst all of David's awards, you were recently named on the DILF list. Here's the top five: 1. Pedro Pascal, 2. Oscar Isaac. 3. David Tennant. 4. Mads Mikkelsen. 5. Cillian Murphy. Oh, and Michael Sheen came in-

#Micheal Sheen silence on this is deafening

[indigovigilance]

Can we just notice that David gives zero shits about #1 and #2 this is purely a competition between two candidates and he is winning.

[valtsv]

i think banishment is the funniest possible spell you can cast on someone. like i'm not even going to fight you. YOU'RE going to go away. you have no choice.

[valtsv]

a guy i banished to the desert 10 years ago finally tracks me down after years of planning his revenge and i immediately banish him to the desert again

[liquidstar]

People will tag fucking anything related to Greece as mythology. They'll literally see pictures of pillars and be like "#Greek Mythology" malaka I promise the pillars are from real life