dead boy

22/Davis/Enjoy

[porterr-robinson]

[catlips001]

Donald: “Phew. The snow storm can’t get us here..

A- ”

[cartooncoyote]

This is actually the best intro to a porno that has ever existed

[satanblessitt-deactivated201608]

There is no way this is a porno

[zombiesahoy]

This is the best porno there has ever been.

[usingtimewisely]

The way he says “HEY WHAT THE FUCK” shaped me as a person

[satanicvaginas2-deactivated2020]

lemon stealing whores

[stream]

Nicolas Cage as Spider-Man Noir Spider-Man: Into The Spider-Verse (2018)

[kingsupermepat-deactivated20220]

Yea I want to rearrange your guts but first how was your day? Did you eat?

[elvensemi]

Does anyone else have that one friend whose sleep schedule is like an ever-evolving mystery? One day they’ll appear to be asleep for the entire 16 hours that you’re awake, but the next three they won’t appear to actually sleep at all. Sometimes they appear to be on Australian time, other times their schedule has adjusted to somewhere in the middle of the Pacific ocean. (I call this Cthulhu time.) You go a week without seeing them and you have no idea if they’re just really busy, dead, or if their sleep has simply synced up to the exact hours you’re awake and online. The only indication that they’re still in this mortal coil is vague posts about grocery shopping that pop up on their blogs at 4:12AM. 

[elvensemi]

I’m horrified at myself because I randomly decided on 4:12AM for an obscure and horrible hour in the morning, but after I posted I glanced down at the clock and 

did i just vaguepost about myself

[elvensemi]

There are two things I love about this post: 

the number of people who are, with apologies, That Friend

the fact it keeps getting splorts of notes every day at 4:12am

[newestvegas]

“Ah, Perry the platypus!”

“What an unexpected -“

“WAIT, WAIT, WAIT!”

“You’re trapped!”

“By societal convention!”

“Look! We’re in a fine dining environment. Everyone knows not to throw a scene in a fancy restaurant!”

“That’s right. You’re trapped. Sit down.”

[hummingbird-hooligan]

This show is fucking brilliant.

[laughing-llama]

did everyone else read that in his voice

[mary]

[havingchanged]

[sluttyfranzkafka]

this is one of my favourite quotes taken out of context 

[valtsv]

forget overwatch mains, the REAL personality test is who you main on mario kart

[valtsv]

rb with your star sign and who you main on mario kart in the tags

[joshpeck]

geodude could be renamed rockman and it would have the absolute same meaning

[joshpeck]

i absolutely do not remember posting this, but I stand by it

[alexunlawful-deactivated2024022]

Really.

[alexunlawful-deactivated2024022]

every time Pokemon releases a remake of the Kanto region, I’m allowed to reblog this 

[hirrez]

“Headache”, Surreal Girls by Concept Artist & Illustrator Leslie Rosique @leslierosique

[blackwoolncrown]

Are straight white people okay????

What is this?!

[squeezemetillipop]

People like this exist. Interesting.

[feliicityrampant]

this story has a part 2

[doctormemes]

THERE IS A PART 3 WITH GUEST RESPONSES I REPEAT THERE IS A PART 3 THIS IS NOT A DRILL

[bullyfemme]

[glorious-scumbag]

I thought things couldn’t get more horrifyingly amusing than the woman who wanted people to pay $1000 each to go to her wedding so she could “feel like a Kardashian for a day” and had a Facebook breakdown about it saying she was gonna go backpacking in Peru to “find herself” after being “betrayed” by her friends who didn’t want to partake but here we are

[caffeinatedcorvid]

I thought it was the same person ngl.

[imsuchacapricorn]

I’m in the wedding shaming group and saw both this and the Peru post before it went viral. Love it.

[imsuchacapricorn]

THERE’S AN UPDATE

[a-melior-ate]

Stephanie is a true hero.

[hemilf]

my favorite thing about this update is that the fact that we are even SEEING this means there’s AT LEAST one other snitch in the party that she hasn’t caught yet

[shiny-good-rock]

dnd idea: an 8-ball but it has a d20 in it so you have to shake it and the d20 rises out of the murky liquid to decide your fate

[ferrettaur]

Good news I found the exact opposite object

[tyrannosaurus-rex]

yall. every magic 8 ball already has always had a d20 inside.

[the-bitch-of-izalith-deactivate]

It doesn’t have the numbers on it though so you can’t use it for dnd

[tyrannosaurus-rex]

thats quitter talk

[dinothundersblog-deactivated201]

ME: I try to jump over the gap DM: Roll for acrobatics 8 ball: Not likely DM: you take 97 damage and die

[probablyevilrpgideas]

My reply is no

Don’t count on it

My sources say no

Very doubtful

Outlook not so good

Better not tell you now

Cannot predict now

Ask again later

Reply hazy try again

Concentrate and ask again

Outlook good

Most likely

Signs point to yes

As I see it, yes

Yes

You may rely on it

Without a doubt

Yes, definitely

It is decidedly so

It is certain

There ya’ go, nerds

[hauntedmushroom]

The X-Files (1993-2018)

[trumanblondie]

How to tell which member of Queen wrote what song:

Brian: adds an orgasmic guitar solo

Freddie: writes with either deep lyrics or plain weird ones

John: gives himself an absolutly snazzy bassline

Roger: i would like to FUCK my CAR