full of emotions, unfortunately

// he/him // early 30's // 18+ to follow // •☆♤QUEER LEFTIST♤☆• earthengear-arts.tumblr.com anti-censorship, antifascist. i like cowboys, knights, elves, art, RWBY, Arcane, and Jedi Fallen Order (HAUUGGHH)

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go look at my art blog while you're here

@earthengear-arts

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@hugoweavingbaskets @tiny-knives hellow founding members of the bd and cal best friend club

(i think they're best friends and i would at all times like to talk about it)

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everyone reading this is invited to the club btw (-:

[tiny-knives]

My contribution to the club ✨️

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YES!!! YES!!!!!!!

[aquashark18]

hope this is ok for the club 🙏

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DELIGHTFUL CONTRIBUTION, THANK YOU!!!!!! :-D

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me before i get my paycheck: i'm so excited to spend this on essentials and save the rest wisely

me as soon as that direct deposit hits: you know i've always wanted to learn the theremin

[iamanewvagina101]

what r ur kinks

I'm consumed by grief

[renif]

decisions

[shaythey]

Part two of my Jedi: Fallen Order Moments That Make Me Go Crazy series

[animatedjen]

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@hugoweavingbaskets @tiny-knives hellow founding members of the bd and cal best friend club

(i think they're best friends and i would at all times like to talk about it)

[shiny-good-rock]

everyone reading this is invited to the club btw (-:

[tiny-knives]

My contribution to the club ✨️

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YES!!! YES!!!!!!!

[auloscaelifer]

Unexpected friendships (Cal and Omega would definitely be best friends tho

[animatedjen]

Cal “No Bones” Kestis:

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jedi survivor thoughts part 16

MAJOR SPOILERS ABOUT THE ENDING

as suspected (and just like with jfo) the laaaaast little shred of plot was held up by me just being unable to defeat the boss lmaoooo

man HOW fucking bleak!!!!!!!! i tend to prefer tragedies, so this was kind of catnip for me.

was really expecting it to end on a hopeful note with merrin's speech to kata. was NOT expecting them to then continue and go for SUCH a dark tone.

what i wonder was the significance of cal leaving bode's lightsaber? were they telling us that cal is going to fall or kata? i mean, it's gotta be cal. they've been pushing that HARD since day 1 with the inevitability of becoming an inquisitor thing

the fact that bode's whole Thing was "i'm doing this for kata" and then nearly shoves her off a cliff at the end of the battle.....insane. fully makes sense for his character! just brutal to watch though. that poor kid.

poor kata. oh my god. i don't know if it's better or worse that she saw it all happen. like at least she seemed to know that bode's end was very much his own fault. i straight up thought merrin was toast. but what a complex set of emotions now that the ONLY people kata has to take care of her now are the people who orphaned her. good god.

what a terrible mirror between bode and cal--that desperate longing on bode's face for just. death! after the battle. i get the sense that a lot of bode's jabs during the last battle ("Why won't you just die?!") are things he says to himself internally, and same with cal. something something i am a shadowy reflection of you.

i like that SO many questions were fully unanswered about bode's history. this doesn't bother me the same way as the holes in what happened with the mantis crew post-jfo. not sure why! i'll have to think about that.

really struggling to understand the rationale behind tanalorr. it made sense that it was secret 200 years ago, when ONLY the jedi knew it was there. but now there's a developed world below the anomaly that witnessed days of GIANT BEAMS shooting into the sky AND 8000 sightings of a jedi who everybody knows is a jedi and they're just.......not gonna mention it to the empire???? even cal's insistence that it'll be a safe haven is something i don't follow--in one of the first visions he has of tanalorr, the planet is getting attacked! like. what

YEAH HELLO???? there's now an imperial uhhhh destroyer i think (the evil triangle looking ones) orbiting koboh. like! they've immediately found you out. your safe haven is a myth

(also went back through my observations and like. we never got information on what the koboh dust was, or what santari lied to the council about. why was dagan SO obsessed with tanalorr pre-council-rejection? again, i get the sense that they wanted the player to read between the lines a lot--a reasonable choice!--but i wish we'd gotten a lot more information on major plot elements like that.)

oh noooo there's a force echo where bode used to sit at pyloon's. i'm sure this will be fine. OOOOF OOF OOF good shit good shit. between that and kata singing her "ghost star" song up on the roof with pili AND her chat with cal ("Oh. I think I understand.")......i'm experiencing an Emotion.

overall, very fun despite some complaints about the characters' relationships, the unnecessary tight pants on merrin (why dude), and some elements of the plot i just don't really get. i love the original trilogy but i think this was at least as strong as any of those stories, and ultimately (despite my critiques) i thought it was a good game. i hope that they get to make a third game. really enjoyed this one.

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jedi survivor thoughts part uhhh 14 i think AGAIN MAJOR MAJOR MAJOR ENDGAME SPOILERS

cal: "I just sensed something, Greez. Did you feel that?" cal that is the second most concerning thing you possibly could have said, the first being "i'm fine"

Cere: "Cal. Master Tapal would be proud of the Jedi you've become." straight up had to pause the game. i'm FINE

THE FADE TO BLACK.....I KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS LMAO. they fucked!!!

CORDOVA//////im cry.

EXCUSE ME???? BODE IS WHAT/? HE'S FUCKIGN WHAT

i knew that he betrayed cal. i did not know uhhhhhhh any of the rest of it. and may i just say: holy shit

oh no. not again. god why does every fucking jedi we find have to be evil. that's so fucking depressing.

this plot line hits soooo much fucking harder than merrical no offense

the fucking respawn

HANG ON FUCKING WHAT WHY I AM PLAYING CERE RIGHT NOW

man i wanted to play cere but not like this. jesus fucking christ (straight up unsure if cal is alive at this point) (this is awesome by the way)

absolutely love that cere is just SO absurdly capable. and that her meditation points look different. of course they do!! i fucking love that. also tried to go into the menu to see what skills she has and they so wisely do not give me that information lmaoooo

god cere is so fucking cool. it is genuinely hilarious how clumsy and inept cal is by comparison

related: why are they having me save every four seconds. cere has fucking got this lmao

genuinely devastating to see the archive in flames. their hard work.....gone

............oh OK so we're fucked. vader's here. we're just fucked now

this fucking fight has my heart pounding. i keep yelling "COME ON CERE" looool. dude. everything is fine. one death so far.

death count: ||||| ||||| | (i got so fucking close that time and yelled "NO!!!!" embarassingly loudly) |||| |

i am genuinely devastated by cere's death. dude. i'm experiencing an emotion. maybe two.

also meta-wise what a brilliant way to have the player experience the lead-up to cere's death (cal experiencing the force echo of what you played through.) smart, devastating choice

it is soooooo normal and fine that cal's meditation space is now tinged with red. and also that i can use sith powers. don't even worry about it

gotta say, this is probably controversial considering the number of times i saw this in the tags for jfo, but i just wasn't ever interested in inquisitor!cal. it just seems kind of boring tbh. it's more interesting with the events of jedi survivor, but still....honestly? i'm more interested in having a main character who has a moral code. i do really enjoy the way that they're playing with his morality here! and i'm glad it wasn't just "cal is an inquisitor now." i think that's what's unappealing to me about au's where he works for the empire--without significant buildup, i am just not on board with it. this IS really solid rationale for why cal would suddenly be OK with doing stuff that up til now was morally unpalatable. (that said, to each their own and i'm glad that other people enjoy their au's--everybody's got their own preferences. (-: )

bode fight count: ||||| (lost count tbh, too lazy to rewatch the stream and check)

bed time

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in the hall of the mayonnaise king

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getting some mixed reviews on this one. almost as well-mixed as an emulsion of egg yolks and vegetable oil

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jedi survivor thoughts part 13 - MAJOR SPOILERS AHEAD. getting into the endgame, i think

daganfight part 74! climbing up the observatory. the balloon puzzles are fun and make my brain genuinely feel like we're up high doing dangerous shit at times lol. still not suuuuuper sure what dagan is trying to do, which is pretty wild given how far we are in the story. maybe i missed some important conversation. that IS plausible. hoping we find out more here (i'm betting we will because one of bd's scans just talked about the properties of the koboh dust)

Cal: "They think he's taking them to Tanalorr." Bode: "Over my dead body." bro your first few lines involved you talking about wanting to see your daughter again. say something else.

BODE YOU CAN'T KEEP TALKING ABOUT GOUR DAUGHTER DUDE THEY'RE GONNA KILL YOU

lmao there's a latching point for the cable on the ground in this hallway. this structure is for suuuuure gonna stay airborne and nothing bad will happen. AWW tumblr ate my edit but i realized that this was actually a hatch to somewhere loool

can't remember if i already said this here but i was unfortunately already majorly spoiled by someone's fully untagged pinned post (very cool! thank you for doing that! :-/) as to part of what happens with bode, but i also think they're gonna kill him because he keeps talking about how much he loves his family, rip

going up to meet dagan with zero (0) stims left. i'm sure this will go really well! maybe we'll have a tea party instead of fighting! [upside down smiley face emoji] THANK FUCK meditation point right before. i got crushed by urgost earlier without thinking ahead to backtrack and save and had to do the whole beginning part twice, so. who knows with this game loooool

hugoweavingbaskets and i were talking about cal's reverence for the dead even when they were his enemy up until the end and man. man. the fact that he places dagan's lightsaber back with him.......man.

SUPER COOL FIGHT BTW. i BARELY got it on the first try (no stims bingus!). the ceiling fight was insane. really liked that development with cal's psychometry. i think i was primed for this by reading a fic that mentioned this type of thing and handled it really well (used a "ghost" from someone's past to haunt them, basically) and it makes sense that he would be able to do that

also yay big plot question resolved: dagan wanted to go malicos-mode and make Jedi 2: Shitty And Worse using tanalorr. incredibly funny timing for me to play through this after the real life schism drama that just happened irl. i'm not catholic but i'd be mcfucking losing it over this plot if i was. jedi schism! jedi schism!!

i am kiiiind of surprised that there wasn't a Big Bad from the empire? although i suspect that may be next with bode..? really liked the writing in that last cutscene with cal and bode--it makes sense from cal's perspective that bode would be hesitant to press their advantage and just want to be done.

went back to pyloon's after because i loooove getting all the little snippets of dialogue and the game crashed while i was playing holotactics! oh no

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in the hall of the mayonnaise king

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@hugoweavingbaskets @tiny-knives hellow founding members of the bd and cal best friend club

(i think they're best friends and i would at all times like to talk about it)

[shiny-good-rock]

everyone reading this is invited to the club btw (-:

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fuck dude what if i watched andor again