a psa for cis people writing [or writing with] a trans muse in the rpc
I would like to preface this by saying that the opinions of one trans mun may not reflect the opinions of every trans person, and some things I may not like, other people might think are fine / I might think something is okay that other folks may not. I am just one person, and I can only speak to my own experiences. When in doubt, ask your trans friends. Ask multiple people if you need to. Most of us are happy to help.
Write trans characters, not the trans experience. It is more than okay headcanon your muse as trans and write them as such. What starts to get fuzzy is if you’re doing threads about your muse’s experience as a trans person. You don’t know what it’s like to experience gender dysphoria or have to come out as trans or be the victim of transphobia, so please don’t write plots about these experiences.
Most coming outs happen when the person is revealing that they are not the gender they were assigned at birth. I see a lot of people writing about their muse coming out as trans after having ‘passed’ for an extended period of time. This does happen sometimes, but not nearly as often. Also, coming out is not a big event — we see celebrities do it when they have to tell the world that they are not the gender they were previously assumed to be. But coming out is an ongoing and oftentimes private process, and for most people, is one that never stops.
On passing: Not every trans person ‘passes’ as cis. Not every trans person wants to pass. Some do. The point is — there is no one way that trans people look. Yes, there’s a stereotype that small, more feminine men are trans, and that masculine women with bigger builds are trans. That happens. But that is not always the case. And if you’re only headcanoning muses who fit this stereotype as trans, it’s worth considering why.
On transitioning: Not every trans person has had top or bottom surgery, or is on HRT. Not every trans person wants to. Younger trans muses will likely not have access to these resources, or may not have been on hormones very long. This means they may not pass. This is okay. And, this shouldn’t need to be said, but: You do not have to medically transition in any way to be trans. End of story.
Refusing to ship with a muse because they’re trans is transphobic. We have to deal with this shit IRL all the time when dating, but it’s even grosser in RP because half the time, shipping =/= writing smut. Not that it’s okay then either, but the point is, a person’s genitals or assigned sex at birth have no bearing on their gender, and not shipping with a muse because your character isn’t attracted to the muse’s assigned gender at birth is transphobic. Full stop.
Don’t deadname your muse. Personally, I don’t think there’s anything wrong with coming up with your muse’s birth name, but don’t make a big deal talking about “[name], previously known as [deadname]”. You wouldn’t do it to a real trans person, don’t do it to your muse.
It’s ‘trans man’ and ‘trans woman’, not transman/transwoman. Trans is used as an adjective in this case, not a noun. It’s a small detail, and there may be older trans folks who refer to themselves/muses as transmen/transwomen (and that’s fine — this is about semantics and it’s a recent change), but please be aware of this.
TL;DR — Just treat your trans muse like you would any other muse. Making them trans can add depth to their character, and if you want to explore what the experience is like for them, talk about it with a trans person, but don’t write whole plots or threads or headcanon posts about it. Let this headcanon inform your portrayal, but don’t make it the focus. This is a practice in ‘show, don’t tell’. Now go off and write your amazing trans muses ! I love them very, very much.
