My future finances and probably my life are a joke...
But it’s okay, I’ve accepted it, it’s beautiful, I am liberated,
but here is why I have found my new freedom:
I just discovered I am building interest on a student loan daily (silly me, I thought it was monthly, like everything else in the world, but no my adulthood is a joke, like my life).
So the interest in about $2.36 daily, which will grow as my debt grows because interest is based on percentage. So after another 6 months of me not having enough money to securely pay anything on a loan to even cover the interest and feed myself as well (but hey do I really need food if I have no financial future to begin with?), it will obviously increase. Currently I’m about $73 a month merely interest, after a few more months that’ll be about $90 and it will grow again, etc. So to even put a dent in the loan after paying the interest currently I would have to pay $74-$75 and that will only realistically put $1 towards the actual loan, ideally to $84-$85 just to take of a decent $9-$10 off the loan.
And I know what you’re thinking, GET A JOB LOSER, stop sitting on your ass, what’s stopping you?
Well I have a temporary job right now (before that all I could find was minimum wage jobs that only offered 12 hours a week), I have a job (it pays about $900/month, my rent is $435, my other bills are another $200, but again do I really need to eat? Do I need a soda/beer/cocktail after a long day? Do I need any sort of social interaction, probably not, I’ll just hermit to put aside possibly $100 for any savings or maybe the loan, who needs a savings? I won’t be going to the hospital for any reason right? I won’t have a flat tire?) for the next 6 months, but guess what, out of the 370+ jobs (I applied for in one year), this temporary job is the only one I received. Granted my resume could use some polish, it’s not bad, but fuck it, I take full responsibility, I should have put money (once again that I didn’t have) towards some more unpaid summer internships in other places, you know put $100-$200+ towards a destination in gas or a ticket to fly, another $250+ on a long-term hotel (a really cheap one), or (again a really cheap) deposit on an apartment to live (don’t forget the rent for 3 months) at while I work for free for 3 months, don’t forget the food expenses. There is too much lack of a fuck to even calculate that at this moment.
I can sell my car (a 2012 model) and pay off...approximately 2/3, have no transportation, but less crippling, building interest. Just a candle at the end of the tunnel, not the light, not, but a little candle because after that I will have added many years to my life where I won’t have to pay debt until I die.
I promise, I feel liberated. I would like to take this moment to send a very personal goodbye to my car, my dearest Cadence (that’s the name of my car), I never imaged you would be my ticket to a slightly long, sustained life with less crippling debt. I’ll cherish our memories together and I promise to find you a loving home, I’ve had more life changing experiences with you than most friends you lovely vehicle.
jbbartram-illu
pixelskylines
jacobvanloon
turnnoffyourmind
blakekathryn
