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did clementine break your heart?

“i didn’t intend on feeling anything, she was my friend and a revenge ploy, but i underestimated the zodiac when i thought i could fuck her for the thrill of it. do you know how irritating it is knowing someone doesn’t need you? watching her succ her way to the top while i’m left with a limp dick? was i heartbroken? eh, was i bitter? fuck yeah. i don’t know how i felt, i don’t think i was in love with her but i wasn’t downing shots over a friend fucking drake.”

#Anonymous

are you actually sorry for what you did?

“yeah, like i’m aware fucking people over is a part time job for me, more like an internship because i don’t get paid, but yeah. i meant what i said when i apologized, you were there when i had no one and you’re probably the only person i regret fucking over.”

#rowanpark

sidebloggable

If my character was under a truth serum, what would you/your character ask them?

They have to tell the truth, remember!

#i'm gonna regret this #all my muses dawson cia soren hanna and robbie

❛ shut up ! your mother buys you mega blocks instead of legos ! ❜ / ❛ I’LL TAKE A NAP HERE ! ❜ / ❛ how are we gonna win if we fucking die ? ❜ / ❛ why the fuck would i say printer ? ❜ / ❛ the benefits of killing him would be that i’d be pushed way less . ❜ / ❛ what the fuck ? $599 for a fucking playground ? that looks like a piece of shit . ❜ / ❛ welcome to bible study , we’re all children of jesus . ❜ / ❛ YO HOLY SHIT HE DEAD ! ❜

“shut up! you literally eat at bendys because you don’t wanna drive to wendys you bent bitch!”

“rowan, we’re literally in the hot tub, like i know you wanna die but prune soup ain’t on the menu today.”

“okay, but i promised my fans a game a russian roulette. besides, it’s the only game where you enjoy losing. so, who’s first. pippa, you got a good angle?”

“you literally gave a mic the succ of a life time and ate a dolphin’s ass, excuse me if i misheard you saying you wanna stick your dick in a printer!”

“okay, but how does that benefit me?”

“it looked different online, this is like the catfish of items. i could make a better playground out of the boxes it came with!”

“oh fuck off, i’m not the one that sacrificed shit to satan for fame. just because two of my friends did doesn’t mean i’m a squirrel for his acorn.”

“listen, just because he crashed that surfboard doesn’t mean his as is dead. he catapulted into the water once, he probably has an underground layer down there or his own personal portal to hell, miss me with that dead shit.”

#rowanpark

❛ i won’t hesitate bitch ! ❜ / ❛ done & done , let me pull the table out of my ass . ❜ / ❛ hey guys , we’re unboxing this cheese stick today . ❜ / ❛ shut up ! your mother buys you mega blocks instead of legos ! ❜

“oh, trust me, i know.”

“snake haul pulls a nightstand out of his ass and now you have to one up him with a table. at least while faking shit i wasn’t stretching my anus to the size of uranus.”

“yeah, it’s super foreign, super unique, maserati cheese sticks. no i’m kidding, it’s actually just a mozzarella cheese stick i picked up from starbucks, and we’re about to eat it for the views. anyways, don’t forget to like and subscribe and maybe we’ll eat you next.”

“shut up! you wear jesus sandals instead of crocs!”

#amthvsts

auliicraval

iconic vines sentence meme .

❛ suck a motherfucking dick . ❜

❛ i thought you were bae , turns out you were just fam . ❜

❛ i thought you were american . ❜

❛ is that a weed !? ❜

❛ i won’t hesitate bitch ! ❜

❛ chipotle is my life . ❜

❛ turn off the flash you fucking moron ! ❜

❛ kiss my ass bitch motherfucker ! ❜

❛ is that a police !? ❜

❛ i’m calling the weed ! ❜

❛ done & done , let me pull the table out of my ass . ❜

❛ merry crisis ! ❜

❛ i don’t have enough money for chicken nugget . ❜

❛ i’m ready to die anytime , any place , for any reason . ❜

❛ hey guys , we’re unboxing this cheese stick today . ❜

❛ i aint never gonna stop loving you , bitch . ❜

❛ this is the comedy police ! that joke’s too funny ! ❜

❛ i’m not going back to jail ! ❜

❛ what the fuck ? $599 for a fucking playground ? that looks like a piece of shit . ❜

❛ FUCK YOUR TEA ! ❜

❛ the feminists are taking over ! ❜

❛ I GOT TWO FREE TACOS ! ❜

❛ and they were roommates ! ❜

❛ i’m not your friend ! ❜

❛ there’s no saving this sweet piece of ass . ❜

❛ hi welcome to chili’s ! ❜

❛ yeah tip of the penis to you too . ❜

❛ this is why mom doesn’t FUCKING love you ! ❜

❛ welcome to bible study , we’re all children of jesus . ❜

❛ aw fuck , i can’t believe you’ve done this . ❜

❛ YO HOLY SHIT HE DEAD ! ❜

❛ this is the dollar store , how good can it be ? ❜

❛ step back , i think i’m gonna vomit ! ❜

❛ oh sorry , i didn’t see ya there , i was too busy blocking out the haters . ❜

❛ shut up ! your mother buys you mega blocks instead of legos ! ❜

❛ I’LL TAKE A NAP HERE ! ❜

❛ i hate to do this but i specifically asked for no mustard and you just brought me a bottle of mustard on a plate . ❜

❛ how are we gonna win if we fucking die ? ❜

❛ why the fuck would i say printer ? ❜

❛ the benefits of killing him would be that i’d be pushed way less . ❜

❛ but it pays off, because i dont even have time to think about dying . ❜

#all my muses #PLEASE

walang-por-e-ber

Anonymously tell me what you think about me.

#for all my muses

askbait

Gentle Asks

🌸- What’s your favorite color? 🌺- Name a song that reminds you of a happy moment in your life 🌷- Do you have a best friend? 💐- Are you in love? 🍡- Name 3 things you love about yourself 🍬- What food makes you happy? 🍭- List things that help you fall asleep 🎆- Do you have a favorite person? 🎀- What is your favorite tumblr account? 🛍- Who do you admire that you don’t talk to? 💕- List two reasons to love yourself 💗- List three good things about your friends 🦄- What’s your dream job? 💒- If you could live with anyone, who would it be? 🍉- What would you do if you had one day with unlimited money to treat yourself? 🍂- List simple things you can do to make yourself happy everyday 🍁- List things you can do to make other people happy

#for all my muses

ohcaptainmycaptain1918

If you lost me in a crowd, what "offensive" thing could you yell that'd be GUARANTEED to track me down?

#all my muses please

angelamxx:

shaking her head, angela kicks the balloons out of her way as she attempts to make her way across the house. why anyone would subject themselves to this is beyond her. spending money on shit that’ll lose purpose the second they turn their cameras off? no thanks. rounding the kitchen counter to where the bar stools are, she picks up a balloon and lightly tips it at dawson. placing her hands down on the counter, she raises an eyebrow. “clearly, considering your ‘breakfast for dinner’ is sitting on your head,” angela quips, pulling out her phone. “i’m ordering pizza. it’d be a shame if this nice ass house burnt down because you didn’t know how to cook food. in the meantime, feel like giving a sneak peak of the diss track?”

he feels ridiculous, the cooked dough sliding onto his lap. he emerges from the pile of balloons, ridding the pancake into the trash. the entire idea truly was an entire waste of money, though the value of a dollar hardly means much to him. “i was making sure it was done.” he shrugs, attempting to play down the incident. “listen, the maids haven’t been here yet and i’ve been too busy editing to clean, but pizza sounds good.” he takes a seat on the bar stool next to her, swooping down to grab a balloon. with his two front teeth he makes a small hole in the balloon, inhaling a bit of the helium. “ayy, you got girls? where they at? are you serious? didn’t see them, like rowan i’m just curious. ayy, pippa said you cum fast, like the furious. disney flop, you’re troy’s reflection like a mirror is.” he recites a verse, falling short as his voice returns to normal.

#angelamxx

amthvsts-deactivated20200422

“ it’s every week bro ”

[ inspiration + actual track ]

i can tell that you came from that disney show ain’t nobody ever heard about this disney hoe got a bitch that remind me of my childhood from high school musical when i see him i’m like hell no yeah, pippa called asking if we could win against snake haul i said, of course, we ain’t ever going to take Ls i just heard the song team 11 now i hate y'all clem that’ll be your last hit like an eight ball

nah wrong snake it’s ya boi snake, as in snake haul got girls, but she said wasn’t here for it me and sauce in this house with a whole shore ride your father’s nuts, you’re a squirrel for his acorn

ayy, you got girls? where they at? are you serious? didn’t see them, like rowan i’m just curious ayy, pippa said you cum fast, like the furious disney flop, you’re troy’s reflection like a mirror is wanna flex all your shit, but you didn’t buy it i just cooked her spaghetti, maybe gonna add some sauce to it talk shit, now she’s lost in the sauce like i always do it

heard that you used to bully kids back in high school stop coming for dawson’s brand, you know that’s his move

got two points, but that’s a triple bitch i’m dunking drowning in the sauce, because fake bitch, i don’t know you bopped your way to the top but all you do is fall after this diss tack it’s gonna be an overhaul pack your shit, find way your back to study hall playmaker but you can’t even make a call rest in peace, it’s time to pass the ball everyone’s here to witness the fall of snake paul you made it halfway up but this is how it’s going down career on the ground and you ain’t making a sound got a million followers, now times that by two in case you’re wondering, that’s our career without you wish we could say we’re sorry but bieber ain’t here pouring one out for the homie but we won’t shed a tear

it’s every week bro with the same stupid show acting like he’s real, but i don’t see it yo kick me out for my hair, i don’t really get it though stop crying just accept everybody knows you’re satan’s hoe it’s every week bro with the same stupid show acting like he’s real, but i don’t see it yo kick me out for my hair, i don’t really get it though stop crying just accept everybody knows you’re satan’s hoe should’ve never sold your soul now, sold your soul now got fame from the devil now, from the devil now and he prefers troy bolton now, troy bolton now now he’s onto bigger teams, bigger teams now

should’ve never sold your soul now, never sold your soul now now, i’m stealing all your fans now, all your fans now used to be the shit, but you’re just shit now get lost in the sauce, dinner’s on your plate now

#I still need a tag for ethos #btu I'm actually #choking

“what the frick is up frisky kitties?! it’s ya boy dawson here, back at it with another video. today, as promised, we are going to do a tour of my new house. now i know what most of you are thinking, dawson, we don’t care where you live, we want the snake haul diss track. i know, i promise it’ll be out in a couple of days. my guy kyle is editing it right now and i promise it’ll be worth the wait. pippa and i worked really hard on this tack, i’m talking blood, sweat, tears, mostly tears but that’s besides the point. anyways, enough chit chat let’s get on with the tour.

alrighty, so first and foremost we have the living room. i don’t actually live in here, to be honest i don’t even know why they call it that. it’s got some couches, you know, ikea hooked a bih up and delivered it same day. shoutout to ikea, might be sponsored but that doesn’t matter, is there anywhere else to dec your crib? anyways, ikea pulled though and furnished every inch of this place, if you wanna find any of the items in this room the links will be listed below, use the promo code feelingfrisky96 to save 20% on your entire order. alright, so now that that’s out of the way, let’s move on to the kitchen.

so this is the room where i cook, you know when chipotle’s closed or post mates is taking too long. the cupboards are kind of empty, i’ve yet to do any shopping. in the fridge, well yeah there’s a bottle of um..sparkling grape juice and a leftover chipotle bowl from last night. mmm, yeah, just as good as last night. i might have to end the vlog right here to finish it, i’m kidding. alright, so here’s the microwave, not to be confused with the iphone seven charger. i tried that cordless charging method, screw you darklord67 on twitter, i nearly blew up my entire apartment building, but that’s another video, stay tuned next week to find out how i almost killed my neighbor. anyways, yeah, the microwave is about the only appliance i trust myself to use, so yeah, i don’t think any of us know how to use a stove - myself included, so let’s move to the backyard.

this is probably my favorite part of the house, just check out that pool. i mean it’s callled an infinity pool but it’s gotta end somewhere, right? how about this, five million likes on this video and i’ll find out where that pool ends. i’m kidding, maybe. anyways, next to the pool there’s this nice jacuzzi. it’s nice for cracking open a case of capri sun with the boys ya feel? just like two bros, sitting in a hot tub, five feet apart. it’s nice, but yeah, that’s basically the backyard so let’s go back inside.

okay, now this is where the magic happens. see that? i just clapped my hands and the lights shut off, cool, i know. it was kind of the selling point of this house. i mean there’s not much to this bedroom, i kinda just sleep here and watch netflix when i’m not in the theatre rooms, which brings me here. check. it. out. the surround system is sick, the reel is shook. and the best part, the seats have a built in massage system. i know, dope. but that’s not even the best part. behind us here we have a, uh, vertical gymnastic bar. yeah, like it’s great for you know, tricks.

but yeah, uh, i think that’s enough just following me around my house, you know it’s kinda boring content and all but -- wait, what’s that sound? omg there’s balloons falling from the ceiling. holy shit it is raining balloons guys!! omg!! the weather man didn’t say anything about this, so many balloons!”

he slowly lowered himself to his knees, allowing to balloons to cover his head. there was roughly a three foot layer of balloons coating his floor as he remained under for approximately a minute before emerging with a dramatic gasp of air.

“just kididng, i’m still here. anyways, thank you so much for tuning in this week, you know it a lot to me. i hope you like this video, if you did be sure to smash that subscribe button and give it a big thumbs up, you know it means the world to me. this week’s frisky kitty goes out to danielle. i love you danielle and thank you for all of your support, i’ll slide into your dms later tonight to get your information for your free merch. anyways, thank you all again and remember-- stay frisky. bye!”

#i'm deleting my account after this #i didn't even proofread #i don't wanna relive this mess

angelamxx:

by the time the reminder she set for 4:45 PM on her phone goes off, angela is already booking her way out of the reel so fast you’d think the broken doors would’ve swung off its hinges. when she clocked in that morning, she overheard her boss talk about some high school kid coming in for their first ever shift. no way in hell was she gonna stick around for that. as angela starts her car and backs out from her parking spot, she briefly remembers that dawson’s place was nearby. they’ve hung out a couple of times in the past, and from what she’s gathered, there is no one who hates snake haul as much as dawson does — well, maybe besides pippa. she recalls hearing from the girl that they were currently working on a diss track against snake haul. always a lover of youtube and team 11 drama, angela decides to cruise her way down to his place. as she pulls up, she hears a huge crash coming from inside. quiet as a mouse, she quickly makes her way up to his door. on a whim, she places her hand on the handle and — yup, unlocked. “if troy or some fucking burglar is inside, i swear to god,” angela mutters to herself in annoyance. she counts to three in her head before pushing the door open, ready to rush in like the messy bih she is to tackle troy, and stops in her steps. her eyes land on dawson and she gives him a dry look, crossing her arms. “what the fuck are you doing?” / @dawsinz

it’s the day after his house tour, the opportunity every youtuber takes to flex without it being obvious, and the remnants of the film are still scattered on the floor. of course, he could’ve just flexed his infinity pool and spa tub but he has an audience of thirteen year old children to cater to. he’s knee deep in balloons, popping as he stomps around the oversized house. losing his footing he falls backward, frying pan in hand as the entirety of six feet collapses upon the balloons. pop! pop! pop! he glances over at the female who’s now made her presence known in his house, a flush present on his face as a pancake from the frying pan lands atop his head. “well, hello.” he chuckles, as if he’s not sitting within an ocean of balloons topped with a pancake. “i’m cooking breakfast, for dinner. it’s what happens when you’re up until seven am editing videos.”

#angelamxx #this is honestly trash #i'm sorry

#muse tag tbd.

babegroot

idle rich sub-tropes: when wealthy people have trouble grasping concepts that are a way of life for people without money, you meet Rich in Dollars, Poor in Sense. these people have been spoiled all their lives, so they have had all these things taken care of for them. so when they try to do these things (by choice or not), they just don’t get them. in their eyes, days spending their money on sweet nothings sound a lot more logical.

#muse tag tbd.

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