Alright, they've lived in my brain too long; Time to air out my thoughts about the polyamory in BG3
To give a little context: I am currently ethically non-monogamous with my primary partner of almost 7 years. I am not a monolith of thought when it comes to polyamory/ENM/open relationships. These are my own personal thoughts and feelings. I've also completed the game with Astarion and Halsin romanced. Spoilers ahead, read at your own risk.
TL;DR - I don't share the current opinion of whether or not Astarion is okay with Tav pursuing Halsin and the discourse around his agency and choices in the relationship are bumming me out and frustrating me.
I am getting increasingly frustrated about the conversation about Astarion being polyamorous/okay with Tav being with Halsin in the game, primarily because I think a lot of the "think pieces" are coming from 1) monogamous people who have only ever been monogamous, 2) monogamous people who have been burned/cheated on/forced into polyamory by a partner (I feel for ya'll, that wasn't okay), 3) people who are very VERY protective of Astarion, and 4) people who are blatantly uncomfortable with polyamory. My goal is not to invalidate anyone's experiences, but to share an alternate perspective.
I do think that Astarion is not only okay, but happy with Tav dating Halsin. I glean this from how he responds to being poly with ANY OTHER companion. If you ask him to share with literally anyone else, he will say no and give his reason.
Gale: He doesn’t want to be in a love triangle (which with Gale, it would be).
Lae’zel: He’s uncomfortable and Lae’zel would kill him (also true).
Wyll: He knows Wyll is old fashioned and monogamous.
Karlach: He knows Karlach’s feelings for you are strong and he doesn’t want to stand in the way of that (he even says he’d be cool with an arrangement but knows Karlach will need all of your affection based on what she’s been through).
Shadowheart: He would be cool IF Shadowheart had more experience and ya’ll were together longer. But he knows Shadowheart is fragile in her current state.
Minthara: He REALLY doesn’t like this idea and will dump you immediately.
I did also see that ***SPOILER*** they updated or are updating some of the spawn Astarion language to have issues with your affair with Mizora should you pursue it, and it requires a persuasion/deception role to keep you two together.
Up to this point in your relationship with Astarion, he has become more comfortable voicing his opinions and concerns with you. He is learning to value his autonomy and his non-physical relationships. He will tell you when he doesn’t want to do something. In fact, he’ll break up with you over pushing his boundaries. He is fine with you pursuing the Drow twins and fine with you sleeping with Haarlep, even comforts you when Haarlep uses your form. So when he says he is okay with you pursuing Halsin, he means it. Yes, he voices his insecurity with you that you may be pursuing Halsin because you and he haven’t had sex in a while. But he acknowledges that Halsin has experience in this arrangement and doesn’t pose a threat to your relationship. Plus, if you kiss Halsin in front of him, he’ll say “don’t mind me, I’m just enjoying the show.”
To me, the idea that this is the ONE thing that Astarion doesn't have agency over in an arc of showing he can speak up for himself is you sleeping with Halsin is an idea that takes more agency from Astarion. He is a grown man. A 240 YEAR OLD man. That trauma he's endured does not mean he needs to be babied or coddled because he can't make his own choices. I think that's an unfair assumption to put on him that Halsin and Tav being together is the ONLY thing he can't enforce his boundaries on.
If he didn't want you to be with Halsin, he would say no like every other monogamous character in the game.
If you want a good example of someone saying yes just because they want to keep you, look at Karlach. You can tell she is HEARTBROKEN when you ask her, but she says “I don’t want to lose you”. That is not an enthusiastic participant in a polyamorous relationship. Astarion says “yeah, go for it! Just give me some reassurance”. Polyamory is not immune to insecurity. I've asked for reassurance in my own relationships and so has my primary partner. That’s not unenthusiastic. That’s realistic as shit. If you ask him about the relationship after you finish his questline, he doesn’t need reassurance because you’re having sex again. That’s also super realistic.
Am I sensitive to this as someone who practices ENM? Almost certainly. It's hard to see a lifestyle I live be villainized and claimed to be "forced" onto characters. I was actually really excited that I could pursue both Astarion and Halsin, and that Halsin places so much importance on consent and not misleading your partner. And it sucks SOO much to see one of my favorite characters be reduced to "oh, he's only doing it because he's afraid to lose Tav." It makes me almost feel bad for liking the interactions between them and enjoying to option. Do I think people mean to make me or other poly people feel bad? No.
But it does.
Headcanons are headcanons. I get it. People are absolutely allowed to interpret the poly aspect of BG3 how they want to. People are allowed to feel uncomfy with how it's portrayed and not pursue it. But it still bums a queer ENM Astarion and Halsin lover out.
Now excuse me whilst I live out my Astarion x Halsin x Tav polycule fantasies in the form of fanfiction.
Being a ✨book girl✨ with a partner means all the fictional literary men I lust after are deep, brooding, and morally gay bad boy billionaires while my real life fiancé eats Chipotle for dinner every night and worries he'll hurt someone's feelings for just misspeaking.
Back with a new set of graphics for a Sims 4 challenge! 😄 This was a commission by @storytellerwhims for their Never Get Bored Legacy Challenge!
Rules are by Meggie, but the graphics are by me, as always. 🖤 For more information on my Sims 4 graphics, check out my FAQ here!
Btw you can help support me & my content by using my creator code “kimba” when purchasing Sims 4 packs on the EA app.🙏 Not required but definitely appreciated! 🖤🖤
Hi everyone! I'm Rockie and I'm back with another fun legacy challenge! Graphics by the lovely @kimbasprite. Thanks again for making another one of my challenges come to life!
You've gotta love trans folks more than you hate TERFs.
You've gotta love your unhoused neighbors more than you hate the billionaires.
You've gotta love immigrants more than you hate ICE.
You've gotta love queer kids more than you hate christian fundamentalists.
You've gotta love fat people more than you hate the diet industry.
You've gotta love disabled people more than you hate the insurance companies.
You've gotta love your fellow humans more than you hate the worst that humanity has to offer. You don't have to like every person you're fighting for, and you sure as hell don't have to give up your righteous anger, but hate is ultimately corrosive.
Is it just me or is Anh a kind of bad friend ? "The Love hypothesis"
I've just finished my second reading of "The Love Hypothesis" by Ali Hazelwood and I can't tell if Anh is a bad friend or if I'm getting too into the book. I like their friendship backstory and how close they are but when it comes to guys/relationships Anh gets weird.
First with Jeremy. Htting it off with him at her birthday where he was Olive's date. Talking to Malcolm about him behind Olive's back, complimenting him often of Olive and telling him about Olive and Adam.
Then with Adam. Anh oversteps and tells Olive to do things to him. Like kissing him and putting sunscreen on him. When Olive says no she compares it to putting sunscreen on her boyfriend's face (Jeremy) to putting it on shirtless sweaty Adam.
I was thinking the same thing! I'm sure Anh has her moments but she lacks a lot of self awareness, I think. Like maybe Olive doesn't want to get all handsy with Adam. Some people really don't like PDA, fake dating or not. I haven't finished the book yet, but that shit would get on my nerves. I'm sure her purpose is to make Olive more anxious about them being found out, but Anh being pushy will always bug me.
I have another question for Tessa Bailey now that I've finished the Bellinger Sisters books (highly recommend both It Happened One Summer and Hook, Line, and Sinker btw):
Can we get a one off about Maureen Bellinger FINALLY returning to Westport, even just to visit Piper? It's been 24 years, and I know that she misses Henry and has a life with her husband in LA, but I hate that the only time we ever hear about her is her warning Piper about dating fishermen, especially boat captains.
I just want her to have a bit of a redemption, you know? To rekindle a love for a place that holds so many memories for her, good and bad.
Wyll Ravengard ❤️🔥
Painted this completely unplanned and unexpected portrait last night. I guess the heavy rain traditionally brought me inspiration after all, even though it's now really hard to not read all sound of thunder as explosions. Unfortunately russian attacks on our homes happen more often than thunderstorms. Wonder if this will ever go back to normal. Either way, happy with our handsome boy, excited to do more BG3 art when I have more time between commissions and charity work.
If you like my art, consider tipping!
MY TIP JARS HERE ❤️🩹
Cool so I'm going to fight everyone who made Fox Thorton feel like the only thing he had to offer was his body. Because baby boy deserves so much more than that. He was sexualized as a a CHILD because his father was a rolling stone? How the fuck is that fair??
Also this book makes me want to fight everyone who has somehow equated sexual promiscuity/sexual freedom with being a bad person. Having sex, liking sex, and being able to have it with consenting adults without leading people on is not a bad trait. You know what is? Using people. Making snap judgments on people. Lying to people. Making people dawn a mask or a label because you deem it so.
Also, also, Captain Taggart, I need you to leave Fox alone about being captain until you show him that you trust him. How have you made Fox feel like you trust him when you immediately assume the worst in him?
I'm only half way through this fucking book and I'm exhausted and wanna keep reading.
So I got through It Happened One Summer really quickly, so now I'm on Hook, Line, and Sinker (because I called Fox and Hannah the moment Fox played intercepter for Brendan to flirt with Piper).
And I think both Piper and Brendan are being unfair about Fox. Like, being a ladies' man doesn't make you a bad guy. But then again, I am very much so soft on pretty boys 😅
Josh Chen would hate the idea of crop tops on men until Jules told him he looked sexy in one. Then he would wear one all the time and try to get all of the Twisted Men to wear one.
Josh would push Alex the hardest, knowing Alex would never and will never.
Josh would ask Christian once, who would threaten him then never ask again.
The only one who would cave is Rhys, who would only wear one for Bridget in private.
Tessa Bailey, if you're reading this, I need you to get rid of this boa constrictor grip you've got on my heart over Piper and Brendan. I started listening to the audiobook thinking the cover was cute and it was a rom com. Now, I just listened to Chapter 18 with my eyes closed because I was overwhelmed. And I KNOW it's only going to get worse.
BRB, going to be crying over a boat captain and a social media influencer. It's fine.
