Current Obsession: Crit Role Campaign 4

30's, 🏳️‍🌈, She/Her/They/Them. WTF am I still doing on this site anyway? May Primus, The Maker, Almighty Troll Jegus and all the fandom deities have mercy on your soul, ye who enter here. MDNI for your sake and mine please.

[amygdalae]

kind of hate my stupid caustic pussy for dissolving my underwear over time but it's kind of cool, like, scientifically

[destinationtoast]

dying at this sequence from @pinkydragon01 :

[halfbloodfanboy]

[slightly-sigilant]

I have a new standard for the level of haterdom to aspire to, and it's Reddit User KismaiAesthetics, who hates doing laundry so much that he got really good at it, so that he can (I quote) do it right the first time, every time, and get back to watching cat videos on the Internet.

and by "really good at it," I mean that he does a bunch of reading on the chemistry of laundry, subscribes to academic journals about laundry, and buys a bunch of different laundry products (including from outside the US) to scrutinize their ingredients and test them for himself. he writes a bunch of incredibly detailed longposts about his findings on /r/laundry and his website, which is also about laundry. he even got interviewed about his laundryposts, in which he revealed he's writing a book about laundry. this man is like ahab and the white whale, if ahab had a reddit account and moby dick was a pile of clothes with cheeseburger stains on them

[slightly-sigilant]

anyway the reason I encountered this guy was because recently, the household washer has been leaving these gross little oily brown flakes on anything washed in it. this is kind of a big problem for me, given that I not only have (literal, diagnosed, medicated) OCD which includes a contagion phobia, I also sew a bunch of stuff with the intent of gifting or selling it, and sometimes that involves prewashing fabric. only, you know, washing is supposed to make things cleaner, not dirtier.

and my research brought me to (gross photos warning!) Kismai's post on the very topic. apparently this stuff is called "scrud," and it's basically a residue that forms over time inside the nooks and crannies of a washing machine - leftover detergent reacting with mineral traces in tapwater to form a buildup that also traps dyes, grease, and other dirt, which bacteria then feeds on, because it wasn't already gross enough. it forms faster if you have hard water, use too much detergent (which most people do), use fabric softener, wash only on cold and the list goes on and on - point is, scrud is the reason that you have to actually clean your washing machine, or be super fastidious about how you do laundry.

(I'll take "things I wish school/my parents actually taught me" for 800)

so now I am engaged in a lengthy battle against scrud, armed with a tub of oxiclean and a sack of citric acid crystals. (we're renters, so disassembling the machine is out of the question.) pour in a scoop of oxiclean, run a machine clean cycle, pour in a scoop of citric acid, run another machine clean cycle, all while wiping piles and piles of scrud out of the drum at the end of each cycle. I'm on the eighth cycle now. there's still so much scrud. the reddit record for "how many cleaning cycles were needed to get a machine entirely free of scrud" is 22 cycles. help

[slightly-sigilant]

hey so like

it turns out that laundry sucks significantly less when your clothes and sheets and etc actually come out of the machine looking, feeling, and smelling clean, rather than looking, feeling, and smelling like despair dipped in slime

like, I have this pillowsheet I call my Depression Era Pillowsheet, because during a Real Bad Time of my life when 90% of all I could do was lie in bed and cry, that was the pillowsheet I laid and cried on. this went on for weeks, and it was never changed out because, again, 90% of my waking hours were Lie In Bed And Cry Hours. it did eventually get changed out, but no matter how many washes I put it through, it remained stained and slimy. like I'd throw it in every time I washed my clothes and it would still come out feeling like someone had applied a fresh layer of Weeping Slime Laminate to it. someone with more sense probably would have thrown it out but idk, I just never did for some reason

anyway! taking some pointers from the freaks over at /r/laundry, I grabbed an enzyme-based detergent, a booster (thing of More Enzymes and oxygen bleach that you add alongside detergent to make it clean gooder), and washed everything on hot (in a machine without a scrud problem), including the Depression Era Pillowsheet. it finally came out looking and feeling like fresh clean cotton?? what?? I hadn't even done the whole "soak it for 24 hours in various unsettling substances" thing??? wack

[biorg]

The Gruesome Cup, Fortunino Matania, 1942

[jammeke]

( via @fabula-unica )

[agarthanguide]

She had him killed for this. Just FYI.

[agarthanguide]

Frederick Sandys, 1861

[agarthanguide]

I’m starting to doubt that I’m ever gonna get around to FCG, so here’s a roundup of the Bells Hells in historical art styles alongside an illustrative example of the art style used.

From top to bottom-

Laudna in the style of 19th century gothic revival stained glass

Dorian Storm in the style of Yoshitaka Amano

Orym of the Air Ashari in the style of 16th century Mughal painting

Fearne Calloway in the style of Baroque portrait sculpture (for example Bernini)

Chetney Pock O’Pea in the style of Ivan Bilibin

Imogen Temult in the style of Nell Brinkley

Ashton Greymoore in the style of Banksy

[glowwormcentral-deactivated2021]

[lawyer voice] mothers and fuckers of the jury-

[hellenhighwater]

DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I THINK ABOUT THIS POST??? IM IN LAW SCHOOL THIS POST IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE

[toontwink]

reblog to ruin a law student’s life

[thebibliosphere]

The kid next door (talking toddler age) is playing outside and just wiped out in his Fisher Price car, and I just heard the babysitter say, “oh no, your insurance premium is definitely going to go up!” And the kid who had only been mildly sniffling before made the most confused, but startled sound you’ve ever heard.

Just very clearly an attempt at saying, “my what?”

He straight up forgot about his scraped knee and is now worried about whatever the fuck an insurance premium is.

[xxxdragonfucker69xxx]

[jewish-joy]

Last year, I befriended a Catholic seminarian. We've gotten to be pretty decent friends. Seeing as he was staying in town for the summer and I wasn't, I entrusted him with caring for my plant.

He did a wonderful job, but as he was returning my plant to my custody, he explained "I watered her every other day, I gave her new dirt, moved her into the sunshine, prayed the rosary-"

"What?"

He looked at me, confused. "Isn't she a plant you pray with?"

"No," I said slowly. "She's a prayer plant. That's the... colloquial name of the plant."

Upon seeing his stricken face, I realized something went wrong. Turns out, this entire time, he's been including my plant in on his prayers and leaving her near icons.

Listen, totally cool. My plant becoming Catholic is a great deal for her not dying over the summer. But now I must navigate this interfaith household. Keep me in your thoughts.

[aquaflv]

really recommend getting a partner with a different religion than you and very little knowledge of your religion because the opportunities for explaining things to each other are just exquisite

[aquaflv]

yesterday she told me some story about the Buddha's wife and child and I was like. Wait. He fucked? And she was like yeah of course he fucked, why wouldn't he, he was the most attractive and loveable and and wise and etc. person who ever lived. why would he not fuck.

[aquaflv]

this morning she looked perplexed in the kitchen at me and said "did Jesus not fuck?"

[nyadversary]

big shoutout to the gas station near my house which is running a deal on energy drinks and thought the best way to express this on their large LED sign was to make it read BANG MONSTER 2/$5

[nyadversary]

update: you'll be pleased to know that they rethought their sign and have changed it to read MONSTER BANG 2/$5

[nyadversary]

i have terrible news about the economy

they raised the price of monster bang :(

[glitchgirlgasm]

Monster bang inflation 😵‍💫

[plumped-up-furrys-deactivated20]

monster bang inflation 🥺🥺🥺

[therisingking]

Girl when I tell you my life flashed before my eyes

[saturniandragon]

[lingonberry24]

[foolishmortal]

what if you told someone you liked their shoelaces while you were on your knees blowing them in a bathroom stall and they told you that they stole them from the president

[therisingking]

You bitches really won’t let me catch a fucking break huh

[ultimatespider]

the pros of reading ao3 fics in public is that their layout is so clean and simple that people would think you’re reading some academic researches when you’re in fact reading a 50k fic. the cons is that you need to control your face all the fucking time

[fuckyeahisawthat]

An additional feature: the layout is clean and simple BUT anyone familiar with AO3 will immediately recognize it. Pro or con? You decide.

[lynati]

If they know it enough to recognize it on sight, they probably aren’t going to be judging me about it.

[geardrops]

they were also at the devil’s sacrament

[solidsmax]

X-MEN' 97 2.07 | Strange Land, Savage Heart

[frostedmagnolias]

Necklace

c. 1897-1899

gold, enamel, opals, amethyst

by René Lalique

The Metropolitan Museum of Art

[nellasbookplanet]

Having just finished the first episode of exu divergence (the episodes are really long okay), it really puts into stark contrast the dissonance of the idea that the gods 'pick favorites'. It's a common argument thrown out whenever all the good the primes have done is pointed out: 'well the gods won't help my blorbo everyone, they just pick their favorites and answer their prayers and give them powers, meanwhile all the little people still suffer'. (nevermind that they seem to think that, if the gods can't help everyone, they should simply help no one, just to be fair about it)

This dissonance becomes especially clear the moment one of the 'favorites' isn't offered special privileges. Vax is just as much a champion of deep faith as Pike and Caduceus and Yasha and Fjord, yet many see him not as the Raven Queen's favorite but rather as her victim because she wouldn't break her rules for him. Bor'dor's mother, blessed by the Wildmother, was not saved from an angry mob by divine intervention. Suddenly, they are no longer favorites but rather betrayed victims, manipulated into their positions by gods who wanted to use them.

But the gods don't really pick favorites (or at least not in the way this argument insinuates; I'm sure there are some mortals they like better than others). Clerics and champions aren't given gifts and powers and support because they're the gods' special little princesses. They're given these 'gifts' with an expectation. Even ignoring the divine gate, the gods can't personally step in and help every single mortal; their clerics are expected to help where they cannot. They save the world, they work as healers, they travel to offer support where they can. As Caduceus once said, one day someone will pray for a miracle and their prayer will be answered because you will be there.

Crokas was given a divine boon not because he was god's special little boy, or because he prayed real nicely, or even because he was suffering greatly and deserved a break. Many people were suffering; it was a pretty shit time. Rather, the Stormlord, god of strength, saw him carry on his back two children he barely knew through a wasteland, offering his strength to save them. He was given a boon so he could continue helping, not only these children but others as well. He had proven himself capable and willing of being an embodiment of the Stormlord's domain, and so he was given a miracle not to help him specifically, but so he would spread the miracle around.

[verdiris]

Nightcrawler, my beloved 🙏

[useless-catalanfacts]

Earrings by the Masriera atelier, the most famous jeweller family during the Catalan modernist movement (Catalonia's equivalent of art nouveau but with a strong emphasis on Catalan traditional crafts and symbols). Their descendants still make jewellery in the same style, some are the same designs and some are new ones following the style.

Photos from the Masriera online shop.

[toyastales]

Coiled snake pendant with chain by René Jules Lalique, crafted from gold, pearls, and champlevé enamel, Paris, 1898-1899. Collection: State Hermitage Museum, St. Petersburg, Russia.