he wasn't even looking at me and he found me

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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ

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@daydreamingbird
You still have that look in your eyes. Like you fear nothing.
MY NAME (2021)
Actually here’s some english shit that pisses me off. When you very slightly change how you pronounce a vowel to make a noun into a verb. This is a duplicate, which happens when you duplicate one item to make two or more.
or when you record a record, import an import, subject a subject, discount a discount, refund a refund, contrast a contrast, permit a permit, refuse some refuse, contest a contest, desert a desert, insult an insult, present a present, protest a protest, update an update, invite an invite, survey a survey, reject a reject...
Fuuuuuck i didn’t know some of these
MODEL
[read left to right]
"Begs the question, young Kiramman. What are you shooting for?"
CW genshin leaks CW opinion
the combination of Varesa’s design and the visuals meant to show her personality is just straight up humiliating. I feel very uncomfortable looking at her.
sure thing, she has a slightly different body model and diversity is good, but the quality of this representation is mid at best and realistically we shouldn’t cheer up when a corporation is throwing a bone to us. she has more plump thighs and chest, but her waist is still thin, and her stomach is flat. this is not representation, this is not made for you, my feminist follower who reads this rant written by a feminist woman. this is made for people who drool over disproportionate anime girls on r-34 website.
her whole character is made for people who drool over disproportionate anime girls on r-34 website. she’s soft, and innocent, and clumsy, and naive. yes, she’s strong, but look, she’s such an uwu cutie who can’t stand straight after using her power for a kick!!! uwu!!!! she’s visually coded to resemble a cow: an animal, and not just any animal, but an animal heavily sexualised by pop-culture. her main personality trait is that she loves to eat and can eat a lot. the cut of her clothes is open, frivolous, I dare say sexy (neutral intonation) — and, on top of that, the little details of her design are resembling a visual code of a child character. I mean: twin braids, headband, colourful bandages, those little hearts and bows on her gaiters. and there’s nothing wrong with these cute accessories! sigewinne is using the same aesthetic, and I have no complaints about her character. of course, of course, clothes styling is not identifying one’s age. but I’m a fashion designer, and as one, I want to say you that we, as a humankind, rely heavily on associations, and, as unjust as it is, fashion is no exception. so, when someone creates a character with both child-like and animal-like visuals, and an associatively child-like behaviour with clumsy unsteady movements, this character will be seen like we see children and animals: someone vulnerable, someone dependent. and then, if the creator gives this character a sexualising, frivolous design on top of the traits I listed above — this is messed up on so many levels my head starts to boil. Varesa’s design is not only infantilising in a derogatory way, but also is created for fetish and for fetish only, and I don’t even know what could possibly change my opinion, because goddamn this is a disaster.
Loved the gay this year 10/10
Genshin is alienating its female playerbase and I'm so tired of it
This is not at all what I usually post but I really need to rant about this and I don't know where else to post it, so...
We have all seen the Varesa leaks and discourse by now, and like most players I'm also extremely disappointed. I won't even begin to touch on other issues like racism, fatphobia and Natlans messy storytelling here and just focus on the sexualisation of female characters recently.
Mavuikas full body crotch zipper, Citlalis entire behaviour around the traveller, Mizuki (though to a lesser extend) with her burst animation and yet again a crush on traveller, and now the mess that is Varesas design.
Hoyo is suddenly heavily catering exclusively to this very specific audience of male gooners who sit in their moms basement and have posters of 12 year old anime girls on their walls. It's disgusting. Of course their other games were known to be like this, but Genshin was always the one with minimal fanservice which is exactly why it is so beloved by a large audience including women and children.
Yes, there was fanservice before, too. But even though Raiden pulls a sword out of her chest, it doesn't feel as offensive because she is a badass character with actual lore and personality beyond just blushing and stuttering around Aether. I dare say it was even a kind of fanservice that is also enjoyed by sapphics, see also the popularity of Eimiko and their individual characters among women. These characters were treated like actual people rather than objects for Aethers harem.
Characters also always had short pants/skirts, yes, but Varesas entire ass is literally out and directly held up into the players face during her animations. None of the pre-Natlan characters were like this. "It's because she is a wrestler!" Then why is she stumbling and falling on her ass or to her knees after every single attack? It's ridiculous, there is no logical explanation for it no matter how hard you try to find one. It is pure fanservice.
I don't even understand why Hoyo is suddenly going this route. More than half the playerbase hates these designs, and last time I checked the banner sales for these characters have been extremely low compared to Fontaine characters, who are beloved by the entire playerbase. So if this shit doesn't even sell, what is the point?
So back to my original statement. As a female player I feel alienated from the game now. Every female character nowadays is catered towards straight males and extremely sexualised. Obviously for women who play the game this is fucking uncomfortable. They don't even make male characters anymore, which wouldn't be a huge deal for me personally if the women they released weren't all like this, but I know it's rapidly driving away many female players. And we do make up a large part of the playerbase, I always felt like it's 50:50 men and women playing, if not even more women (on EU at least). And the only 2 male characters coming soon will be 4 stars.
Personally I'm still holding out hope for Nod-Krai, the Mondstadt expansion, Snezhnaya and Khaenri'ah, because those always had peak lore and designs so far. But if the game continues on like this I will drop it, even though I've been playing for almost 4 years and have spent money on it. It's absolutely no surprise to me that women are moving to others games like Infinity Nikki, where female characters and players alike are respected and valued.
artist - @ujugn on twt
Lots of ominous news nowadays, but there are good things too! Thailand's Marriage Equality Law took effect today!
This tweet takes you to the top of a thread that lists all the changes, like replacing gendered terms like husband and wife with spouses, same-sex marriages have full legal status that, same-sex couples can adopt and use IVF and create pre-nups, just a whole lot of steps to make them equal.
It's all just so amazing and joyous. They hosted a parade for the newlywed couples!
VIGIL
Did I add anything to the plot? No. I just wanted to draw Caitlyn 😌😂
with arcane’s focus on visual elements, something that’s been nagging on me lately is mel medarda’s final design and why it compounds the tragedy of her story:
firstly, when we see mel in her flashback, she’s already wearing her significant white/gold, but tempered with blue—noticeably missing her mother’s greys and reds, even then, showing her idealogical differences
then in piltover, we see mel as her own self-actualization—all white and gold and black, colors connected to power, and with an elegant cut that still places her slightly apart from piltover fashion. it shows her place as a non-combatant (long skirt) and someone privileged (the pure white) and wealthy (the gold. so much gold.). this is mel medarda at the pinnacle she’s worked so hard to achieve—it’s elegant because she is elegant
which of course becomes subverted when we do see the gold accessories taken away and the white dirtied when she’s kidnapped by the black rose—this is the first and only time we see mel in actual disarray, and it shows how vulnerable she is when she’s outside the political sphere
and after her transformation, we have this costume change, where aside from the increased gold (now representing magical ability instead of just wealth), we have mel in a a skin-tight catsuit style getup, allowing for greater movement, and her hair done in micro-braids in a style that won’t affect her center of gravity. at first, when i was watching, i was confused (especially about the hair), but then i realized—
this isn’t mel dressing herself to reflect a change, this is leblanc’s vision of mel, where power is swiftness and she is markedly different than others in a way that is now impossible to ignore
and she tries to return to her previous sense of self with the white hood, going back to a trademark of her style, but notably this is an outfit worn to conceal, not reveal and show off like her previous iconic dress, and her change is visibly with even just the hood off
and when mel accepts black rose’s help and betrays them and her mother dies, the white hood disappears—try as she might, she cannot go back to who she was, and she stands before noxians as a mage and mother-killer and a wolf, something dangerous
and then, when we see mel leaving piltover, she’s wearing nothing of her original self, but a combination of black rose’s getup and her mother’s colors. there is almost nothing of “mel” in this outfit, as if she’s been subsumed by these two identities—noxian and mage
even her makeup has shifted, with the red line under her eyes and the gold in her lower lip directly copying her mother
this isn’t a mel who’s realized herself in a new identity. this is a mel who, when faced with the enormous loss of her brother, mother, lover and former identity, has fallen into the definitions and roles that were presented to her, and who is now primed to continue the cycles started by her predecessors
and moving on from arcane, i think it would be fascinating to see mel in one of the newer shows to see how she grapples with this and if she either falls back into tradition and dooms herself, or if she’s able to break free and reforge her identity on her own terms
❝ Is there anything so undoing as a daughter? ❞
No monster's gonna get you when I'm here...
ARCANE LEAGUE OF LEGENDS: 2x09 - “The Dirt Under Your Nails.” ↳ "I did appreciate your warmth."
Mel Medarda ARCANE - SEASON 2 | ACT 3
MEL MEDARDA in Welcome to Noxus - Bite Marks (2025 season 1 Cinematic)