it took 3 watches on the big screen for me to clock that when naim sees ryan in the store and tries to talk to him, ryan has already ecountered entity naim. it's blink and you miss it, but when naim approaches ryan you can see a bruise on ryan's arm just above his elbow, and when naim's eyes flick down at the bruise and he asks "are you okay?" ryan looks at him with a tiny pinch between his brow almost like he's confused why naim is asking. "you can't keep doing this," he says. you can't keep doing this, because to him it was naim that came round his house just yesterday. he kept his distance when he spotted him, because even though ryan ached to reach out and pull him in things have changed. you saw the ritual, everyone knows about me now. you're not safe. but naim said he didn't care and kissed ryan like he did at the mill, desperate and tender. but then suddenly it wasn't like the mill, because naim's hand on his arm squeezed hard enough to bruise, and when ryan shook free with a cry of pain, naim's face was utterly blank. it wasn't like naim, to hurt him, but ryan let it happen because he's used to intimacy coming with violence.
after the store, after the near miss with his mother, naim comes to his house again and asks to take him somewhere. how about the rollerskating rink? he says, innocent and shy, and something inside ryan swoops because maybe not all is lost, maybe things with naim could be different like he'd hoped. he holds the gate open for him unaware that the real naim is watching on in horror. they climb into the photobooth and naim leans in, equal parts timid and eager just like their first kiss and each that has followed. he laughs into naim's mouth, breath hitching when naim tugs his shirt up and off with a sudden boldness. "just me?" he asks with a grin, trying to be casual but wanting naim with an intensity he's never wanted anyone before. naim says nothing, leans in to kiss him again with a hand wrapped around his throat, and ryan lets his eyes slide shut.
