probably napping

- kayla - wannabe polyglot - amateur model -

[ruinedchildhood]

[dillondean]

I’m in THE most insane predicament, details forthcoming

[dillondean]

Literally like brace yourself…..my friend wants me to hook up with his dad because last night his dad said he might be bi and I’m this guy’s only gay friend

[dillondean]

Further evidence:

[divascreech]

oh my fucking god

[tanookitoes]

this is what a real ally looks like

[lastparty]

romeo and juliet (1.4) - william shakespeare

[redportrait]

romeo: i had this intense af dream last night bro mercutio: oh so did i romeo: what did u dream dude mercutio: that ur full of shit

[batpoptart-blog]

I like the translation

[wengoku]

ive never in my life been a monster fucker but that venom thing is.. a little sexy… if you will

[glowpop]

IT REALLY ISNT

[wengoku]

it kinda is

[glowpop]

IS THIS WHAT YOU WANT IN YOUR PUSSY?

[wengoku]

[veryharam]

I’m so wifeable

[exoticmelanin]

I can boil water really good

[anxietyndchill]

[crimson-waterlily-deactivated20]

shuri deciding her brother’s suit was obsolete:

[mattholicguilt]

“it would be impossible for this disabled character to be played by a disabled actor because of the things this character can do in this movie” well then maybe…… you fucked up in the writing of this disabled character……

[crumplelush]

also cgi exists. if you need your disabled character to walk for a couple of scenes use a body double and green screen. this can also be used for trans characters prior to transition.

if it’s possible to make chris evans look 5ft nothing and skinnier than a maypole then it’s possible to cast disabled actors for disabled characters

[queen-of-troy]

The Spy Kids films had disabled actor Ricardo Montalbán play the kids’ disabled grandpa, and in the third movie he was CGI’d into an Iron-Man style bodysuit that made him look like he was able to walk and take part in a high-speed futuristic car race and other action sequences. And this was in 2003. If a goofy kids’ franchise can do it using embarassingly bad early 2000s CGI, you have literally no excuse.

[tasty-bitch-nugget-666]

Power Move

[frostyforya]

this statement dealt 10 damage to everyone in a 2 mile radius

[megapope-deactivated20220531]

All I'm saying is to be more careful, no matter how rich or passing they are you might still trigger dysphoria in them without even knowing it.

Are you seriously implying that Mark Zuckerberg is both transgender and actively reading my blog

[queerstatic]

tell me something nice, hit me with those positive vibess

[eatsleepcrap]

the earliest recorded named cat lived over 3000 years ago in egypt and was called ‘nedjem’ which means sweetie

[queerstatic]

[eatsleepcrap]

the pet cat of prince thutmose was called ‘tai miuwette’ which means ‘little mewer’

[queerstatic]

[eatsleepcrap]

in medieval england so many cats were given the name ‘gilbert’ that the word ‘gyb’ came to mean ‘pet cat’

[lyctorgideon]

highlights from my three years working at panera

customer pooping on the floor

pulling a stag beetle out of an old woman’s hair

two employees started dating and had a blow-out fight in the parking lot before work at least once a week

employee cutting her finger practically off because she jammed her arm in the bagel slicer

catering coordinator fucking the GM in the basement

man claiming he didn’t have a panera card because a friend stole all his rewards cards while he was in a coma for a year

the turkish opera singer who worked in the kitchen for a summer

disheveled man offering “voodoo therapy” in the dining room to guests as they walk in

tiny dominican lesbian stole the girlfriends of two different male employees

[lyctorgideon]

#please be real

its real all right & there’s more where that came from

[lornasallydane]

Please tell us more

[lyctorgideon]

the woman who pooped on the floor got banned, but not for pooping on the floor

there is a man who comes in once a week, buys a sandwich to go, and eats it in the men’s bathroom. we know because he leaves toothpicks and the wrapper by the urinal

a woman once demanded to know where she could buy an apartment in the area, i informed her that this was a panera and not a real estate office, and she interrupted me to specify she was looking for an $1100 two bedroom

we hired twins named franciel and franciela

customer complained about the size of the small mac n cheese (it comes pre-portioned) and i told her she could upgrade it to a large for a few dollars, at which point she shook her mac n cheese in my face and screamed “i could shit more mac and cheese than this!”

the GM got so upset that he threw a sandwich at the wall and it stuck there for a few minutes because of the sauce

people act like “do you want bread, chips, or an apple for your side?” is the goddamn SATs

no, you can’t get “bread chips”

no, you can’t get “apple chips”

no, you can’t get “apple bread”

i hate you

[dazedlavender]

hey so here’s some more panera events:

a man got kicked out of one panera for threatening people with a knife so he’d come to our panera and stare at us for hours

a lady SCREAMING about not getting enough soup and saying it was bullshit

a man telling us he should get a free smoothie because he was sad

some guy walking behind the counter and typing in his order himself

finding out that one of the guys that works here had sucked the toes of another guy who worked there (they both have girlfriends)

the toe sucker wanting to start a panera choir

nobody knows what arugula (ah-roog-a-la) is or how to pronounce it (some of my favorites have been arg-you-lah and ay-reg-la)

a customer asking for “the garbage cookie”

line worker sticking hands in the bagel slicer/toaster when they’re on and putting his bare hand on the hot panini press and the rest of us having to try and stop him

people being mad about us not selling donuts

uncomfortably long pauses on the phone (”hi we’re having a great day at panera bread ____ my name is ___ how can I help you” “.......................hello”)

a group of high school boys (who looked like fuckboys) walking in, yo-yoing, not ordering, and leaving

[jumex]

im educated but like…im still stupit

[lovecorp-deactivated20180525]

sjsfjh imagine if tumblr had memories like facebook does 

[lovecorp-deactivated20180525]

one year ago today you posted: “i wish i could fucking eat dirt like a worm"

[derpycats]

[iraffiruse]

[ladyshinga]

I remember when people first realized how much funnier these comics were just without Garfield’s dialog, which Jon was never able to hear anyway. Garfield only ever communicated to us readers in thought balloons, after all. What we’re seeing here is Jon’s canonical reality.

I’m torn between laughing at these and being deeply worried for Jon lol

[c4tto626]

this is like 100% what living with cats is like

[luidilovins]

This is WAY funnier