Although their faces were so close, Shu still did not dare meet the gold and cyan that longed for his gaze. Instead his eyes wavered ever so slightly to the side in their mulling melancholia, cast downwards to Mikaâs cheek that stopped reddening from sudden worry at his masterâs silence. What was this foolish boy even saying? How could the words of someone like him, a fallen sovereign, a dethroned tyrant ever cause this supposed acceptance of a statement the boy would otherwise not believe? He could not understand the adoration that was cast upon him, nor the weight of his words. If Mika wasnât half as great as was proposed, then how could Shu himself hope to even reach a tenth of that magnificence?
Shu had never been a good person. He had done many things that he regretted, hurt many people thinking his ways to be just, and only now did he see how foolish he had been. The Valkyrie of yore was the perfection he strove for, but did he really wish to become the kind of ruler who trampled on his own pieces in the process? Nito had already made it more than clear to him when he left. His perfect, beautiful masterpiece who he could never have fathomed would abandon him. Shu had been the master that had groomed and fine tuned him into a perfect clockwork, a doll that moved by his every command, and yet it had betrayed him, left him. In a sense he was scared â terrified that one day Mika as well would follow Nitoâs path and leave only him behind â but at the same time he saw no reason for his other doll to remain steadfast by his side.
He had after all never done a single good thing to the being known as Kagehira Mika; only ever thinking of himself and his own performance.
Had he not currently been feeling so awkward, he could almost laugh at the raven haired boyâs worries â did he really seem so bad off to the other currently? If so, he certainly needed to work on this whole âhuman interactionsâ thing. Resolve still hesitant, his gaze however shifted to meet Mikaâs that had probably been staring at him for a while now, probing for a connection that he had not wished to grant until now. Despite the hint of awkwardness in the otherâs voice, Shu could feel the sincerity in his words. If he was afraid that Mika was going to follow the path of the senior Valkyrie, then the younger very much reassured him that he was not going anywhere. Not that they could go anywhere right now.
But somehow, if they had to spend the rest of their days in here, spending them with Mika didnât seem half bad.
         {{ â ;; }} â W-what? So suddenly? Your strings do not appear to have loosened, so whâ â
Voicing his incomprehension, Shu was not against the idea per se, he just failed to see why Mika should wish for such a gesture when there did not appear to be anything the matter with his mental condition right now. But somehow the gaze of disappointment that met him as his words left him, made the sovereign halt mid word, indigo glazing over with confusion. And soon he realised â apparently a k i s s was not just something one performed under certain circumstances. He had never before cared much for such gestures, so naturally he had no inkling as to the emotions linked alongside it. He liked to believe that his guise of checking Mikaâs temperature earlier was different, hence why he even needed a guise in the first place, but could it be he was wrong? With an almost perplexed nod he retracted his words and corrected them.
         {{ â ;; }} â Very well. I guess I wouldnât mind for this to be a kiss with no strings attached. I canât say I understand much about the matters of the heart, nor do I really understand what you would expect from me but⌠even so, I want to learn. Even if I cannot possibly be what you could hope for, I wish that one day I may become. I might very well have been the real doll all this time, but even so if I could obtain a human heart that thought would not sound bad in the least. â
Surprised at the lack of scolding that should have occurred when heâd broken Shuâs thoughts so abruptly and loudly, Mika blinked up at him almost owlishly, fingers gently threading into the older boyâs hair once more as both of them paused to gather their thoughts.
Heâd always known about the self-doubt that Shu had expertly hidden away under a mask of haughtiness and sharpness. Heâd seen the real Shu; the fragile and easily broken boy, whoâd almost been ready after to thrown his own life away after their near-destruction and Nazunaâs defection. The truly kind and generous Shu whoâd taken in Mika when he was at his lowest; whoâd given him a place in his home, in Valkyrie. Whoâd given him so many beautiful clothes, some many precious memories, good and bad. Everything Mika Kagehira had become, he owed to Shu.
How could he ever leave the older boy after all that?Â
Propping himself up slightly on his elbow, suppressing a wince as the movement caused a burning sensation to run through the hideous scar on his chest; Mika was about to call out to the other once more before Shuâs perplexed speech and flushed expression caused him to stop dead in his tracks, staring up at the other in disbelief for a second. Then Mika flopped back to the ground with a laugh once more, inadvertently pulling Shu even closer.
âHahahaha! Oshi-saaaan! Yer a great guy....but yer a real idiot sometimes, yanno? And that pun was the worst~!â he teased, gently bumping his forehead against Shuâs and squeezing his shoulder gently in an effort to take away any sting in his words. Truly the other wasnât an idiot, not really. But had he really thought that kisses were only to be shared when things were bad or troubling? Instead of whenever one felt like it? Then again, Mika supposed he couldnât really blame him for thinking like that, it wasnât as though either of them had ever had people lining up to show them such feelings before.
Breathing out another soft laugh, Mika shook his head, gently kneading the otherâs scalp for a moment while he chose his next words, hoping Shu would understand, hoping heâd make sense.
âOshi-san.... Youâre no doll, Oshi-san. No doll couldâa looked after me like you have...not after everythinâ Iâve put ya though. If ya were a doll...ya wouldnât have cried so much that night I woke up, âcause dolls canât feel that much...â Mika trailed off, biting his lip. That probably wasnât the best thing to bring up at the moment, but alas. âYour heart is human, Oshi-san...ân itâs the kindest heart ever, yanno?â
Before Shu could argue or pull back, Mika slid his hand from his hair to cup the other boyâs cheek, leaning up to gently brush his lips against the otherâs, simply testing. When Shu didnât pull away or protest, Mika gently pulled his head down and pressed their lips together in a soft kiss. Not going any further than letting their lips move against each other slowly, still unsure about taking that final step (when it came to kissing, at least); Mika drew back only when the ache in his chest became almost unbearable, breaking away with a pleased sigh and easing himself back onto the ground again, staring up at the other with a bashful smile as his hand stroked over Shuâs cheek.
âThereâs no way yer a doll, Oshi-san. Youâre too warm...too alive for that.â
