[deactivated20230702]

The irony of this happening immediately following my four month hiatus is not lost on me.

[deactivated20230702]

*blows a layer of dust off and taps mic* is this thing on?

[cor-ardens-archive]

when you try to reblog a post but it’s tagged “freaks dni” and your hand singes and burns like when a demon touches the bible

[willowcrowned]

love when a dynamic is like. this would be deeply toxic for anyone else but considering the people involved this is actually far and away the healthiest option

[falconiforme]

[willgrahamscock]

they’re horrors to YOU, however i’m turned on by them

[willgrahamscock]

[badjokesbyjeff]

An old Italian man lived alone in New Jersey. He wanted to plant his annual tomato garden; but it was very difficult work as the ground was hard. His only son, Vincent, who used to help him, was in prison. The old man wrote a letter to his son and described his predicament:

Dear Vincent,

I am feeling pretty sad, because it looks like wont be able to plant my tomato garden this year. I'm just getting too old to be digging up a garden plot. know if you were here my troubles would be over. I know you would be happy to dig the plot for me, like in the old days. Love, Papa

A few days later he received this letter from his son:

Dear Pop, Don't dig up that garden. That's where the bodies are buried. Love, Vinnie

At 6 am the next morning, FBl agents and local police arrived and dug up the entire area without finding any bodies. They apologized to the old man and left. That same day the old man received another letter from his son:

Dear Pop, Go ahead and plant the tomatoes now. That's the best could do under the circumstances. Love, Vinnie

[ruffboi-mags]

Jeff I am BEGGING YOU to change your name

[bundibird]

[columboscreens]

[facelessoldgargoyle]

happy get the strap Saturday

[low-poly-yuri]

why is france called the hexagon when its abundantly clear that it’s a pentagon

[cleansingreflections-deactivate]

what

[low-poly-yuri]

mmm i guess i see it i was definitely seeing 1 and 2 as one side plus the left and right sides slope out more

[cleansingreflections-deactivate]

yeah tbh i see how you can see 1 and 2 as one side

[vang0bus]

actually its a decagon

[vang0bus]

careful apollo might hear you

[yotaasuke]

ok but if we r being really pedantic it’s a triacontakaipentagon (35 sides)

[promiscuous-mycorrhizal-fungus]

ur all wrong actually

[aokozaki]

Before the Amongus addition this post is literally just “Tumblr Discovers The Fractal Properties Of Coastlines”

[alpacavampire]

I was explaining to some friends that the scale of the difference between the Bruce from Batman the Animated Series and the Bruce from DC Super Hero Girls is the same as the one between Keaton's Bruce and Kilmer's Bruce

Do you see what I mean?

[carfuckerlynch]

she let me hit cause i died and came back wrong

[the-multiverse-theory]

queerplatonic is whatever those 3 middleaged animal men from ice age had btw. i hope you understand now

[noodyl-blasstal]

[bvbblebeam]

good morning gay people!!

[ottermatopoeia]

[sn1ckie]

glenn close at any mild inconvenience

[tunnelduck]

WHAT THE FRICKIN DING DANG GOSH DARN DILLY WILLY HECKIN SHARK TOOTH BANANA CHICANERY ROOTIN TOOTIN RASPBERRY FRICKIN FUCK ARE YOU TWO DOING HERE?

[paedenchucks]

I love how Darryl Wilson is the most classically masculine of the daddies and he’s a willing and capable house husband.