you could leave it all behind

DEACON SANTIAGO twenty. hades cabin. - u n r e m a r k a b l e - b o y - •   keep about your wits, man   • ❝ with such a hell in your heart and your head, how can you live? how can you love?  ❞

[indiemovies]

[deacxns]

Someone that annoys you?

“ no one here annoys me, really. everyone’s just at different stages in their individual journeys and we can’t let that get in the way of how we treat ‘em. “

[stevenjackie]

[deacxns]

bexhexed‌:

       rare  instance  since  wars,  since  visions  had  strengthened,  but,  this  time  around  child  of  hecate  had  been  allowed  in  game.  partly  responsible  was  fact  that  visions  had  taken  turn  elsewhere-  were  focusing  attention  wholly  on  those  she   missed.   worked  with  her  present  moment,  for  their  team  had  won  and  it  was  great  feeling  to  just  be  in  the  moment.  no  prophecies,  no  blackouts  when  going  into  trance  .  .  just  doing  and  moving  and  enjoying.  after,  however,  reality  sunk  in  and  she  found  path  elsewhere;  not  entirely  sure  of  where  she  was  following  feeling,  but  deciding  to  trust.  soon,  met  with  deacon  and  head  tilted  as  she  calculated  move.  ❛  no,  not  that  —-  just  had  a  feeling  and  was  wondering  if  you  are  alright  ?  ❜

         deacon  nodded  at  bex’s  explanation,  still  not  having  looked up.  a  part  of  him  ached  at  that  fact  ---  it  seemed  the  rudest  thing,  to  have  spoken  to  someone  without  looking  at  them,  to  have  reacted  to  their  response and  still  withheld  a  greeting  smile,  or  even  simple  eye  contact.  but  the  truth  was  that  he  was  easily  drained;  not  physically,  because  despite  his  current  injury  he  felt  as  if  he’d  made  it  through  the  game  feeling  fine.  no,  he  was  easily  drained  from  contact  with  other  people,  as  much  as  he  enjoyed  it,  thrived  in  it,  felt  he  needed  it  to  prove  himself.  deacon  wanted  to  give  himself  a few  more  seconds  of  idly  wrapping  the  tape  around  his  wrist  without  needing  to  turn  himself  on.  but  he  did;  he  had  nothing  against  bex,  and  knew  couldn’t  last  in  his  selfish  rudeness.  with  his  uninjured  hand  still going  through  its  motions,  he  looked  up  at  her  and  cocked  an  eyebrow  in  tandem  with  a  warm  quirk of  his  lips.   “  I’m  alright   ---   I fell.  it’s  nothing  that  needs  serious  attention,  but  I  like  taking  care  of  things  as  soon  as  possible,  you  know?  I’m  awfully  sorry  if  I  worried you,  though.  “

[deacxns]

after the game was over, deacon gave a grin and a wave and excused himself from the victorious celebrations of the day’s teammates.  he’d taken an easy fall sometime following the mysterious fire, and while it hadn’t impeded his ability to keep going, he felt a twinge in his wrist. it was likely he didn’t need to peel off from the pack to wrap it then and there, but for as much as deacon liked his fellow campers, he preferred to keep away from the wilder thick of things  ---  and in his eyes, in his experience, the aftermath of capture the flag was always on the wilder side. he walked just enough to let the noise fade and settled on the ground with a roll of athletic tape from his pocket, his spear set on the ground beside him. heard a distant set of footsteps, and without looking up from his wrist, asked,  “ am I in the way here? I can move in just a moment if you’ve gotta pass. “

[deacxns]

DEACON SANTIAGO:   a  pantone  edit 

[deacxns]

@amarabianchi  ------  tap on a table/door/wall/chair to get my muse’s attention

deacon glanced up, wondering if there was ever any point at being surprised by some sudden company  ---  especially before, during, or after a training session. there was no point in the day when you could get the training area to yourself. he hadn’t heard amara’s arrival and hadn’t been expecting her, but when he glanced up and saw who had, apparently, been trying to catch his attention he fixed a tired smile her way all the same.  “ hey, amara. I’m just taking a breather, if you needed me for something. or if you wanted the floor to yourself, I guess. “

[deacxns]

some day’s end when I need a few friends now and again I could never hope to keep them thought to give friends what I thought that they wanted never had they needed a good friend as I’ve been

[deacxns]

                             task 001   ------   camper file

the basics

camper’s name: deacon elias santiago  camper’s age: twenty  camper’s birthdate: january 21, 1923 camper’s birthplace: ????  good question. gender identity & pronouns: cismale, he / his sexual orientation: bisexual

personality

+ traits: helpful,  empathetic,  resilient,  sincere  - traits: blinded,  doubtful,  reserved,  atoning  zodiac: aquarius moral alignment: lawful good  hogwarts house: I took a quiz for him that tells you the percentage you get for each house and he tied for gryffindor and hufflepuff, so he’s like  ...  a hatstall. but he’d probably choose hufflepuff for himself which I guess answers that.  mbti: infj enneagram: types 2 & 6 four temperaments: melancholic  celtic tree sign: rowan

appearance

height: 6′0″ hair color: brown eye color: brown any tattoos/piercings?: a small arrow on his ankle. his sisters had similar tattoos, in the same place, if not really matching. they got them done by an old woman in arizona when deacon was fifteen and the family was passing through on the way to earthquake relief somewhere on the west coast, and their mother flipped her shit in the most elegant way when she found out. noel was only thirteen, which was an ordeal. he still thinks it was worth it, though. other attributes: n/a

the demigod

godly parent: hades any mortal family?: samson and verity santiago (adopted parents), ava, tamora, and noel santiago (adoptive sisters). an unknown biological mortal mother who likely died years ago, who deacon has no real desire to figure out the identity of.  abilities: shadow travel that he uses pretty much exclusively to pop in and out of the underworld to chill, inherent knowledge of the rites of the dead, ability to sense when others are dead or dying. good at listening, good at calming others down.  relationship w/ godly parent: deacon genuinely likes hades and really respects his father  ---  appreciates how he went above and beyond in keeping the promise deacon forced him to make about seeing his three sisters safely through wwii when it became clear that deacon’s end of the deal had been fucked up by the lotus hotel. their relationship can be strained sometimes because deacon is shit with honest words and expressing emotion, and hades, as a god, can be the same way; deacon feels that hades is continuing to apologize to deacon for something that never needed apologizing for, and the two of them don’t know how to go about talking that through. but they can chill. deacon liked the time he spent recuperating in hades’ palace before popping into camp, that period of respite to make up for being displaced from time.  when/how was the camper claimed?: he was claimed shortly after being attacked by a monster on a boat with his sisters when he was sixteen any quests? or smaller missions?: deacon has not been on a quest but has probably done a couple of smaller missions? he doesn’t have a lot of the cooler hades kid powers but he’s not useless and would want to help  what is their fatal flaw?: yikes!!! probably his monumental amount of self - doubt. his inability to stop comparing himself to people that are no longer around, and, therefore, infallible  ---  though deacon was guilty of putting his family on this pedestal of sainthood even when they were alive.  what is their preferred weapon?: a celestial bronze shield and spear he took from hades’ palace 

favorites

favorite camp memory: the realization that he had siblings again, once he finally dragged himself to camp    favorite food: potatoes in pretty much every one of their various forms  favorite color: burgundy  favorite animal: penguins  favorite movie: a farewell to arms  likes: snow days, overly sweet and done up coffee, the sound of fire crackling, flannel button downs, reading four different books at once, sunflowers, artistic photography  dislikes: when bread gets too soggy, heat without a breeze, holes in jeans, being alone on open water, too much down time, strong perfumes and colognes

miscellaneous

mini playlist:  it’s called: freefall by rainbow kitten surprise (I seriously Cannot express how much this is his song, y’all);  south by hippo campus;  death & taxes by daniel caesar;  kids these days by shakey graves;  coins by local natives.  describe their aesthetic: standing alone in a field of golden grass so tall you can’t tell where it ends or begins. waiting until the day grows late and your shadow grows long to do what you’ve been putting off. sinking into an old chair, or sofa, bed, anything so soft and worn it feels like it remembers you. reaching for a cup of dark coffee before it’s had time to cool and not even minding the fire it burns down your throat. churches of a faith you no longer believe in but still find comfort in when you need solitude. the dark silhouettes of spiny trees in the heart of winter. the golden touch of someone you feel you don’t deserve  ---  to know, to hold, to love. the red behind your eyelids when you close your eyes to the sun.  if your camper was a vine, which one would they be?: the only time he enjoys parties is when his eyes go out of focus   if they weren’t a demigod, where would they be in life?:  ... probably dead, idk?? he’d probably have stuck with his parents and his sisters forever, just travelling and doing what he could to help people in need. forever feeling inadequate and trying to make peace with that.  anything else: n/a

[deacxns]

holydov-e‌:

continuing this post

“Oh, it’s something I got in a fortune cookie during a family dinner last year. But I liked how it sounded, so I randomly bring it up from time to time.” Angela smiled brightly. “I think everyone should have a piece of wisdom with them, just in case. That, and a joke, at least one good joke in case of an emergy.” What kind of emergency would require to know a joke, that was still beyond Angie, but it was something she still considered to be true. 

“Do you happen to have one?” Angela asked, before quickly adding. “A sort of quote you carry, not a joke.” Thinking more about it, she tilted her head slightly. “Although a joke wouldn’t be that bad anyways. You should have at least one or two puns related to your godly parent, that’s like a demigod law.” She laughed.

“ that  ...  makes a lot of sense too, “  deacon said, forcing his posture to relax. he was glad that angela didn’t seem to realize how much he needed that reassurance, but all the same, finding out it was a fortune cookie phrase did wonders to calm him down.  “ did you try keeping the actual fortune or did you just commit what it said to memory? I doubt a tiny scrap of paper like that would last too long, but, you never know. “   

he cocked his head and tried to think  ---  to at least give the appearance of mulling over angela’s question, when in reality he was pretty sure he didn’t have either quite as on hand as she did. these things were always harder when on the spot.  “ well, I certainly don’t have a tangible fortune from the inside of the cookie sitting in my pocket, but now that you bring it up I don’t know if I have much else in there, either. “  deacon shrugged and tried for a laugh.  “ I know I don’t have any puns about my dad. you’re really showing me how much of a slacker I am. “ 

[deacxns]

‘ you listen to your gut . even if it makes them hate you . ’

              “ that’s pretty good advice, angela, “  deacon said, considering her words. he wondered if he looked like he was panicking, a little  ---  not that he was panicking so much as wondering what she knew that he might not, that her advice including a caveat about people potentially hating him. maybe it was just a normal sort of mantra that he wasn’t familiar with  ...  one that he wasn’t quite sure would serve him well. he didn’t want to think of doing anything that made people hate him; wanted even less to think of any gut instinct of his that would lead to those actions. he shook off those thoughts, even if he didn’t do anything to physically shake them off, and tried to give her a genuine smile. it would be cruel to give her anything less for her well meant words.   “ thanks. must’ve looked like I needed that, huh? “

[deacxns]

‘ i seldom am well behaved . ’

     “  …  well, seldom’s not never. “  deacon shrugged off charlotte’s words with a small smile, like if he reacted to the admission of guilt like it was a joke then he could absolve himself of any obligation to act on it. he didn’t think it was the truth, really  —  he couldn’t think of a bad thing to say about the daughter of ares, and he’d stand by his statement that seldom really wasn’t never should this whole situation land the both of them in some sort of trouble with the camp. his grin amped up, bigger than it was when he first spoke, and he shook his head.  “ and behavior on the whole here’s not really the norm anywhere else, right? so who can say what constitutes for truly good behavior. “

[littlelovelymemes]

(    *   & .   —   THE  HAUNTING  OF  HILL  HOUSE  SENTENCE  STARTERS

*   warning   :   may  contain  spoilers  for  episodes  one  through  ten .

‘  if  you  were  me ,  you  wouldn’t  be  such  a  fucking  asshole .  ’

‘  the  world  out  there  has  teeth  and  it  is  hungry  and  it  is  stupid  and  it eats  and  eats  mindlessly .  ’

‘  you  listen  to  your  gut .  even  if  it  makes  them  hate  you .  ’

‘  i  am  a  dream  and  so  are  you  and  so  are  we .  ’

‘  you  are  a  looker ,  aren’t  you ?  ’

‘  honey ,  someone’s  in  the  house .  ’

‘  i’m  dreaming ,  right ?  ’

‘  i  just  need  a  little  time  away .  it’s  nothing  more  than  that .  ’

‘  you’re  saying  it  was  an  accident ,  so  you  accidentally  put  your  hand  through  a  mirror ?  ’

‘  i’m  scared .  that’s  all  i  am .  there  is  nothing  else .  i’m  only  scared .  ’

‘  do  you  think  there’s  something  wrong  with  me ?  like ,  really  wrong ?  ’

‘  it’s  alright ,  sugar .  it’s  just  a  dream  —  just  a  screaming  meemie .  ’

‘  we  yield  to  it  or  we  fight  it ,  but  we  cannot  meet  it  halfway .  ’

‘  i  seldom  am  well  behaved .  ’

‘  i  enjoyed  the  conversation ,  but  i’m  gonna  say  goodnight .  ’

‘  did  you  just  punch  me  in  the  boob ?  ’

‘  just  enjoy  me .  i’m  loving  you .  ’

‘  i  wouldn’t  have  changed  a  thing .  i  need  you  to  know  that .  ’

‘  forgiveness  is  warm  like  a  tear  on  a  cheek .  ’

‘  i  loved  you  completely  and  you  loved  me  the  same .  ’

‘  that’s  all .  the  rest  is  confetti .  ’

‘  forgive  a  girl  for  being  lonely .  ’

‘  there’s  nothing  sadder  than  a  cold  bed .  ’

‘  journey’s  end  when  lovers  meet .  ’

‘  journeys  don’t  end ,  not  if  you  love  someone .  they  don’t  end  at  all .  ’

‘  probably  best  you  didn’t  say  anything  to  them .  ’

‘  i’m  asking  you  to  love  me  hard  for  the  next  few  minutes .  ’

‘  i’m  gonna  jump  and  i’m  asking  you  to  hold  my  hand  while  i’m  falling .  ’

‘  i  have  something  that  i  have  to  tell  you ,  but  i  need  you  to  remember  when  i  do  that  i  love  you .  ’

‘  i  wish  i  would’ve  loved  you  better .  ’

‘  pandas  don’t  like  macaroni .  ’

‘  i’m  just  floating  in  this  ocean  of  nothing  and  i  wonder  if  this  is  it ,  this  is  what  death  is .  ’

‘  i  wonder  if  this  is  what  death  is ,  just  out  there  in  the  darkness ,  just  darkness  and  numbness  and  alone .  ’

‘  i  wondered  if  that’s  what  they  felt ,  just  numb  and  nothing  and  alone .  ’

‘  he  was  a  light  in  the  darkness .  he  was  a  life  preserver  in  the  ocean .  ’  

‘  i  reached  for  him  because  i  had  to  feel  something .  i  had  to  feel  anything .  ’

‘  god ,  i’m  so  glad  i  did  it  though .  thank  god  it  worked .  ’

‘  i  felt  scared .  so  fucking  scared .  ’

‘  honestly  i  had  to  do  it  because  it  felt  better  than  feeling  nothing .  ’

‘  that  thorough  fucking  shame  was  so  much  better  than  that  horrible  empty  feeling .  ’

‘  you  have  to  live .  ’

‘  i  don’t —  i  don’t  know  how  to  do  this  without  you .  ’

‘  i  learned  a  secret  :  there  is  no  without .  i  am  not  gone .  i  am  scattered  into  so  many  pieces ,  sprinkled  on  your  life  like  new  snow .  ’

‘  when  we  die ,  we  turn  into  stories  and  every  time  someone  tells  one  of  those  stories  it’s  like  we’re  still  here .  ’

‘  we’re  all  stories  in  the  end .  ’

‘  you’re  supposed  to  protect  me ,  but  you  say  the  meanest  things  to  me  when  i  try  to  tell  you  things .  ’

‘  that  was  really  wild  stuff .  ’

‘  that  was  really  wild  stuff  considering  you  were  asleep  for ,  what ,  like…  ninety-nine  percent  of  it ?  ’

‘  i’m  sorry .  i  should  have  made  more  of  an  effort  with  you .  ’

‘  you  tried  the  best  that  you  could .  i  should’ve  met  you  halfway .  ’

‘  people  fuck  up .  i  guess  you  don’t  get  that  —  you  really  don’t  get  it  until  you  fuck  up .  really  fuck  up .  ’

‘  i  felt…  nothing .  just  nothing .  and  it  spread  everywhere  in  me ,  this  nothing ,  until  i  couldn’t  feel  anything  anymore .  i  was  just  this  dark ,  empty  black  hole .   ’

‘  i  felt  nothing  and  so  i  drank  and  i  drank  and  nothing  worked .  i  couldn’t  feel  anything .  ’

[deacxns]

adlermaia‌:

at his nudge, maia’s gaze followed deacon’s indication and, catching sight of the behaviour in question, rolled her eyes. “ cruel would be to set it on fire yourself, ” maia stated wryly. “ betting on that is just taking stock of the consequences —- and for the record, i’m not taking that action. i don’t see any tyche kids playing, and there are way too many hermes kids around for there not to be mischief involved soon. ” in fact, she thought it was more likely to be a when, not an if. “ how long do you give them? ”

deacon shrugged, the action settling his shoulders up close by his ears as he did.  maia had a point  ...   well,  maia had several points. whether or not he ended up admitting as much to her remained to be seen, as he kept his gaze, a small smile, directed on the game unfolding away from them.  “ as long as it’s not cruel, “  he said; humor embedded in the words even if he was far from laughing just yet.  “ I wouldn’t set it on fire even if I could  ---  that would take the fun out of it, even if you refuse to play along. in five minutes it’ll be all aflame anyway. “

[deacxns]

charlottejean‌:

  “ good game,  yeah ? ”   smile is radiant and she’s practically glowing   (  with both sweat and joy  ) ;  charlotte has been patiently waiting all summer for the first game of capture the flag and it didn’t disappoint.  her team might not’ve won,  but she’s never been a sore loser,  not if she personally persevered.  sword remains gleaming at her side,  its tip pushed gently into the dirt.   “ the next one’ll be even better. ”

“ yeah, “  deacon agreed with a small smile directed at his teammate for the day,  “ good game. “  he took a moment to catch his breath, redirecting his gaze away from charlotte to wipe down the knife in his hands. he rarely had much personal investment in the outcome of capture the flag, but it was nice to see everyone in such high spirits after it. he looked back up at her, smile still in place.  “ you have different plans for the next one? “

[deacxns]

scnbrshed‌:

  “ honestly? smells like burning plastic. like way too many solo cups just got tossed into that fire in an attempt to hide it from chiron, but they know everything.” benny wrinkles his nose, hating the smell of all of it. it was nice to be back at camp but he could do without this stuff already. “ yeah, it’s only going to get worse. i think i brought some candles with me though, if you want to head back to my cabin? vanilla and peppermint. “

deacon glanced around, noting all the discarded cups still underfoot, and raised an eyebrow back at benny.  “ half of them are littered, half of them are burning. it really does seem like they’re doing the bare minimum to evade getting caught, I guess. “  he knew you’d only need to walk a few more yards out of the immediate firelight to find some freedom from the solo cups and the havoc they wrought, but he shook his head all the same, tone roping benny into his commiseration.  “ you’re  ---  honestly,  probably right. I’d like to think better of our peers, but vanilla and peppermint are always preferable to burning plastic. “

[deacxns]

@adlermaia

deacon bumped his shoulder to maia’s, gesturing with his chin across the fire where some kids appeared to be hackeying a sack  ---  wayward cheering and bystanders getting too involved turning the action into a dangerous game. he leveled an even smile at his sister, cocking an eyebrow.  “ it feels kind of cruel to bet on their fun ...  especially on the first night. “  deacon shrugged before he leaned back and let the energy of the evening infect him with a good mood.  “ but I bet you their hackey sack gets tossed into the fire. “