don't question greatness

'if that hit you in the chest, sorry. I was aiming for your crotch.' [indie roleplay sideblog for deadpool. i don't own deadpool, or any of the content posted on this blog unless stated otherwise. ]

[deaddrools]

novarocket has followed you!

Hey, there.

Say, you wouldn't happen to have any chimichangas on you, would ya? My stomach's rumbling up a storm!

[deaddrools]

toothytart has followed you!

[necromantxc]

I just had my deathday about a month ago. So pretty much a year. 

[she handed him the katana and gingerly prodded at the puncture wound, checking to see that it was already healing over.]

So— what’s with the dorky costume? ‘ve seen a lot of you guys running around lately.

[deaddrools]

[he took back the katana, placing it back in it's place.]

Dorky?

I'll have you know this costume is pretty great. And it shows off my perfectly toned butt. 

Deathday? Should I have brought a gift or somethin'?

[deaddrools]

toothytart has followed you!

[necromantxc]

  [she began to pull it free, only minimal gore to be seen due to her— more or less— bloodless body]

Chill, dead-boobs. Can’t really be killed twice, y’know?

Besides— [once the blade was out, she carefully wiped both sides across her sleeve before re-sheathing the sword.] Sword’s fine. 

[deaddrools]

[he groaned and winced at the sight of her pulling out the blade. not that he couldn't deal with gore--it was just the fact that she was able to do that and not be harmed. it was weird. even for someone who had the power to regenerate any part of his body.]

I'll have that back, thank-you! And my name is Deadboob--pool! My name's Deadpool, not Deadboob!

So how long've you been, like...dead?

[necromantxc]

[is it munmonday or is it winter is stupidday yeha]

[deaddrools]

toothytart has followed you!

[necromantxc]

You can quit the names now, Deadboob.

[she quickly unsheathes the sword, admiring the blade for a moment before plunging it into her torso— oops. cooties.]

See? You’re a necrophiliac, dude. 

[deaddrools]

[he let out a somewhat girly yelp, jumping up as the sword thrusted into the girl in front of him.]

W-what the fuck?! What did you just do to yourself--and my katana?!

[deaddrools]

hemogobbler is now following you!

[hemogobbler-blog]

  I dunno, maybe the complete lack of any heartbeat goin’ on here.

[deaddrools]

Hmph.

I'd ask if I could feel your heartbeat, but that would probably make me seem weird considering where the heart is.

[gesturing around the chest area]

[deaddrools]

toothytart has followed you!

[necromantxc]

  [insert sighing and eye rolling to the max son]

Ivy. Ivory, but Ivy. 

Now give it.

[deaddrools]

Sure thing, Ivory, my sweet.

[insert passing of the katana here]

Be careful, okay? With your girl cooties.

The name's Deadpool, by the way.

[deaddrools]

hemogobbler is now following you!

[hemogobbler-blog]

  Normally, yes. Under the effects of an ancient curse of undeath which can’t really be broken, however…

Hell no.

[deaddrools]

Ancient curse, hm?

How do I know you're not just wearing tons of pale makeup?

[deaddrools]

toothytart has followed you!

[necromantxc]

  Christ, dude, just let me see one for a sec.

I’m not going to get cooties on your toy.

[deaddrools]

How do I know that, though?

I don't even know your name and you're wanting to play with my sharp stick.

[deaddrools]

hemogobbler is now following you!

[hemogobbler-blog]

  Health doesn’t matter when you’re dead, dingus.

[deaddrools]

Dead?

Wouldn't you be six feet underneath the earth and decomposing in a wooden casket right now if you were dead?

[deaddrools]

toothytart has followed you!

[necromantxc]

  [!!! wow he dense]

…

Gimme one of those katanas, dude.

[deaddrools]

Slow down there, sweetcheeks.

You gotta buy me dinner first before I let you touch my katana.

[deaddrools]

toothytart has followed you!

[necromantxc]

  Necrophilia— as in finding dead things attractive. Necrophiliac.

What do boys learn in school?

[deaddrools]

Exsqueeze me?

Unless we're near a graveyard where a bunch of old supermodels are buried, I am not a  necro-- a nec-necro...whatever the hell you said!

[deaddrools]

hemogobbler is now following you!

Hey.

Woah--is it not unhealthy to be that pale?

[deaddrools]

toothytart has followed you!

[necromantxc]

Oh, boy! Oh, boy.

We got ourselves a bonafide necrophiliac. 

[deaddrools]

What the hell did you just call me?

I'm not a necrophiliast or whatever the hell you said. In fact, I think I'm a pretty handsome guy.

[deaddrools]

toothytart has followed you!

[necromantxc]

[Toots?]

Nothing that concerns you, stud. 

[deaddrools]

Woah, woah, settle down there, dollface.

I'm just trying to be polite to an obviously attractive woman. 

[deaddrools]

toothytart has followed you!

Hey, there, toots.

What's a girl like you doing in a place like this?

[yummyinmytumbly]

Mushroom, Potato & Chorizo Tacos