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@pastelpool ☆⋆. 𐙚˚
@eternalblue-mp3 ˎˊ˗
she/her - 22
eng•span - 🇨🇦🇬🇾🇵🇷
masterlist 𝜗𝜚
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till the bed breaks!…wait…for real?
word count: 569 words (proof read like…once)
description: fuck so good y’all break the bed, what more do you want me to say?
warnings and tags: mdni!!!!!!!!!!!!!, sex (duh), no orgasm 😔, gender neutral reader, wade is being annoying about the whole thing, pet names, (lemme know if i missed anything!)
notes: idk man i thought it would be funny i wrote this at 3 in the morning and at 3 in the morning almost everything is funny or a good idea just roll with it!
nsfw under the cut <3 !!!
༘⋆ ꙳ ꕀ ꒰ 𖧧 ·͜·♡ ꒱ ღ ༘⋆ ꙳ ꕀ ꒰ 𖧧 ·͜·♡ ꒱ ღ ༘⋆ ꙳ ꕀ ꒰ 𖧧 ·͜·♡ ꒱ ღ
“face down ass up” was more than just a silly song lyric that afternoon.
you currently in that position as wade relentlessly pounded into you like making you both cum was his only life goal.
you were too blissed out to even speak, not that words could help anyway, your face was smushed into a pillow slowly soaking up tears.
all was…as fine as a scenario like this could go, until you felt something.
and no, it wasn’t JUST wade’s cock stretching you out so good it had you seeing stars.
it was beneath you.
no…it couldn’t be- right?
there’s no way in hell that-
wade started slowing down, he finally realized it too.
“something feels off…and i’m not just referring to our clothes, sweetheart” he said jokingly”.
“wade-“ you murmured as you tried to lift your body weight.
bad idea.
suddenly you both felt what can only be described as the platform, in this case the bedframe, disappearing beneath the two of you.
thank goodness for the mattress, of course, saving you both as you hit the floor.
there you were, in the middle of your shared, now broken, bed, completely naked, winding down from (almost) highs that neither of you reached.
there was silence for a little bit, but, of course, silence doesn’t last with wade, it never does.
he’s now cracking up and you hid your now burning red face in your hands.
“some porn scenario we got ourselves into, huh?” he chuckled, elbowing you “i can already see the title, fucked my partner so good the bed breaks, NOT CLICKBAIT, WEAR HEADPHONES, not for anything i’m doing, but for your-“.
“wade!” you interrupted “we are literally without a bed right now!”.
“i’m aware of that, genius!” he sassed back “you can’t solely put the blame on me here, it’s not my fault you’re so hot and you sounded so sexy and you make the cutest noises when i-“.
“wade!” you interrupt again “y’know what, we have to order a new bedframe, i just wish i remembered the measurements right now” you start to get up to check your shared closet “do we still have the instructions for this?”.
he shrugged “don’t know, didn’t know we’d get ourselves into a hot and bothered situation like this” he said in a lower tone, landing a small slap on your ass.
you quickly turned, about to speak, when you noticed something, the other massive elephant in the room that wasn’t the bedframe.
“are you seriously still hard?” you said, almost unfazed.
wade, still sitting, looked down at crotch and then back up at you “i mean…we clearly didn’t get to finish”.
you squatted down so you were both at eye level with each other “so what do wanna do about that?”.
he started to eye the bedroom door “we still have the couch!”.
you shook your head “you are exhausting”.
wade smirked and eyed you up and down “enough to tire you out too, clearly”.
you stood up and starting making your way towards the door “up, now” you demanded.
wade was slightly taken aback, but nonetheless was turned on even more “could get use to you bossing me around, baby”.
you shook your head, but couldn’t hide your smile “all i ask is that you don’t break the couch too”.
wade scoffed like it was nothing.
“if it breaks, it breaks, besides…no one lives below us anyway”.
i now all of a sudden have hella motivation to write idk where this sparked from but holy shit this is fucking awesome lmao
I FINALLY HAVE A FIC IDEA MY WRITERS BLOCK ERA MIGHT BE OVER
after a month lmao but it’s done!
gloves on!
word count: 634 words (proof read like…once)
description: only you were crazed enough to let wade’s dirty gloves between your legs.
warnings and tags: mdni!!!!!!!!!!!!!, reader has a pussy, pussy slapping, dirty talk, fingering, squirting, pet names, (lemme know if i missed anything!)
notes: i am not even joking this idea came to me while i was taking a nap, this literally came to me in a dream. i love my brain ugh.
nsfw under the cut <3 !!!
˗ˏˋ ✶ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ✶ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ✶ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ✶ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ✶ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ✶ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ✶ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ✶ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ✶ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ✶ ˎˊ˗˗ˏˋ ✶ ˎˊ˗
gunpowder, blood, dirt, sweat, tears.
god knows what other residue was on wade’s gloves.
he had just got home and it was late.
he just got home and he needed you now more than ever.
and you needed him just as much.
so here you were, half of your body on the bed, your legs dangling off and your pussy exposed to him and the cold air of the room.
and here was wade, kneeling between your legs, mask halfway up, a smirk on his face as he gave your now wet cunt small slaps.
and it was all giggly and gentle…until about after 7 minutes.
“baby…” you whine lowly, wincing a little as the impact got harder and harder.
wade looked up to face you, his hand now resting on your inner thigh.
“what is it? sorry i was too distracted by the beautiful sight of niagara falls…located…” he took off his mask and pretended to scan the room like he wasn’t kneeling in front of you.
“wade, stop teasing me” you said with a pout.
“what are you talking about?” he said while acting like he didn’t know what he was doing.
“you know exactly what i’m talking about” you said.
wade playfully shook his head, pulling his gloves a little more over his wrist, god you’d be lying if you said that didn’t turn you on a bit more.
“i still don’t know what you’re talking about” he said as his palm made tight circles over your pussy “i think you have to be more specific”.
you squirmed a little in pleasure, your face scrunched up as you whined out “i want your…fingers inside me p-please”.
“oooh, bold and vulgar, how did i get so lucky with you?” wade said slyly as his fingers slowly trailed down your cunt and to your leaking hole.
you frowned “wade…p-please-“.
wade grinned “all i needed was the ‘please’, sweetheart”.
his grin grew bigger as he inserted two of his massive gloved fingers into you, stretching you out with a sting that still felt so good.
you moaned as he started to move his fingers in and out of you, the blanket and even the floor beneath you starting to soak with your wetness.
but you felt a knot in your stomach start to form…and it felt like it could snap at any second.
wade notices almost immediately, he leans down so that his face is only mere inches away from yours.
“i know what you’re gonna say, i just wanna see you beg for it, baby” he whispered softly.
your eyes widened a little and your lip started to tremble as you spoke “i’m gonna cum- go f-faster please-“ you spoke while still being a stuttering mess.
he smiled cruelly “not quite yet, baby” he said as he curled his fingers, while still hitting that spot inside you that had your head spinning.
“nngh p-please!-“ you whined, your voice slightly cracking, it was almost pathetic at this point.
wade rolled his eyes and laughed “fine! make it rain, hot stuff”.
he started fingering you faster until your legs shook and until you finally felt the knot in your stomach snap as you squirted.
all over him, you, the bedsheets, the floor.
you’re almost shocked it didn’t get anywhere else.
you’re trying to catch your breath as you hear wade start to laugh again.
you look up at him with a confused expression “what’s so funny?”.
he got up and looked down at you with a smirk “i can’t believe you let these gloves near you let alone inside you!”.
you started to giggle while shaking your head with the strength you had left “doesn’t it prove that i love you that much?”.
wade’s smirk then turned into a softer smile “yeah, guess it does”.
I FINALLY HAVE A FIC IDEA MY WRITERS BLOCK ERA MIGHT BE OVER
OMG THANK U GUYS WTF!!!!!
i wanna write for so many characters rn it’s killing me oh my god
vampire!deadpool fic is doing numbers now i wanna write all of my faves as vampires
tried doing the whole headcanons bullet point thing and idk i think it’s fun, i think i’ll keep doing it more often!
bf!movie!michael afton headcanons
word count: sfw: 151 words nsfw: 150 words total: 396 words
description: just cute and nasty headcanons if movie!michael afton was your boyfriend
warnings and tags: mdni!!!!!!!!!!!!!, fem reader, slight themes of obsession, p in v sex, unprotected sex (guys be better come on now), dirty talk, pussy eating, fingering, spanking, biting, bruises description (all consensual)
notes: i’m ovulating and touch deprived and i love him so so much y’all i’m sorry i’m not sorry and idk if i like this but eh whatever!
first bullet points are all sfw, afterwards it’s all nsfw <3
𓂃𝝑𝝔𓂃𓂃𝝑𝝔𓂃𓂃𝝑𝝔𓂃𓂃𝝑𝝔𓂃𓂃𝝑𝝔𓂃𓂃𝝑𝝔𓂃𓂃𝝑𝝔𓂃
was definitely starstruck the first time he met you
even after months of dating he’s still shy around you
it takes him a while to open before he tells you anything (and he doesn’t even tell you everything)
love language is psychical touch
always needs to hold your hand, have his hands on your waist, etc
in a way, he’s obsessed with you, maybe others would find it a little creepy, but you don’t seem to mind
it’s like he can’t seem to function without you…or he just refuses to
so besides his job (that you don’t know much about) you’re always with him
loves to sleep over at your place instead of his
cuddles, so many cuddles
majority of the space on his camera is taken up by pictures of you
whether it’s you on walks with him, at the mall, in front of his work and even…in other situations
𓂃𝝑𝝔𓂃𓂃𝝑𝝔𓂃𓂃𝝑𝝔𓂃𓂃𝝑𝝔𓂃𓂃𝝑𝝔𓂃𓂃𝝑𝝔𓂃𓂃𝝑𝝔𓂃
behind closed doors, he’s absolutely nasty
he has you wetter than any ocean, i’ll tell you that much
has you bent over and is pounding into you relentlessly
is way too into spanking than anyone would’ve guessed
yes, this includes spanking your pussy
seems like only his dick or fingers can reach that spot that makes you want to scream
has such speed it’s almost head spinning
he’ll have either length inside you while saying the dirtiest things to you
“so tight baby” “it’s like your pussy was made for me” “love seeing you all red like this”
he’s a pussy eating pro
eating you out like he hasn’t eaten in days
will moan into your pussy while doing so
and about that picture thing from before? yeah, he takes pictures of you before, after and sometimes even during sex
and that takes up a good chunk of his storage
just changed all of my font sizes on my fics for the ✨aesthetic✨ i wish i put this much effort into figuring out my current writers block issue 😭
bites
word count: 1.2k (proof read like…once)
description: you’ve known wade was a vampire for a bit, but things start to change when he desperately needs to feed off of you
warnings and tags: vampires, murder mentioned, blood, blood play (if you squint i guess?), suggestive, implied nsfw at the end, biting, gender neutral reader (lemme know if i missed anything!)
notes: i was giggling and kicking my feet writing this i love my brain omg. sub vampire!deadpool #needthatsobad
enjoy happy valentines day cuties mwah mwah!!!
𖤐♡𖤐♡𖤐♡𖤐♡𖤐♡𖤐♡𖤐♡𖤐♡𖤐♡𖤐♡𖤐♡𖤐♡
it was definitely not the craziest thing he’s told you.
the mercenary work, him knowing mutants, the multiversal shenanigans.
him telling you that he’s a vampire on top of that did not shock you.
it confused you, sure, you definitely had a million questions but, again, you rolled with it, not the craziest thing he’s told you!
he would tell you, in great detail whether you asked for it or not, how he would feed off of the people he killed.
“i mean no one else has found out, i would just be a quick slice to the neck and bam, i get right in there!”.
you nodded, almost numb to this point of hearing the grotesque sound of his mercenary missions. “so…i guess you have a…never ending supply, per say?”.
he nodded joyfully “yup! it’s like a walking talking grocery store! or…pharmacy?…is it like drugs?…well i don’t know if i could take it that far but this is already a lot but it doesn’t compare to the other guy i fed off of the other night-“.
“wade” you said sweetly, taking his hands in yours “i understand”
he sighed softly at the contact and nodded.
“thank you baby, so glad i told you and not like…blade”.
you titled your head and giggled “who’s that?”.
wade shook his head “you don’t wanna know”.
🩸🦷🩸
it’s now been months of the same routine, nothing disrupting that…you wouldn’t call it peace, per say, but your normal.
you were now reading on the couch, bowl of grapes on the side table, lost in a coming of age novel you picked the other week.
wade’s been gone for hours, maybe longer than usual, usually whenever that happens, it’s just him getting side tracked, so you didn’t worry too much.
that is, until wade walked through the door, looking more tired than usual.
you looked up from your book and smiled at him “welcome home wade”.
he gave you a slightly playful salute back, not feeling or looking energized whatsoever.
you titled your head in worry, eyes roaming up and down his body in worry “you okay baby?”.
he nodded “yeah, i’m just tired, y’know?” it’s late, like it must be midnight or something. matter of fact, how are you still up? you loveeeeeee sleeping early, it’s kind of a buzz kill sometimes-“.
“wade” you interrupted “it’s 8:30PM…it’s not that late”.
his eyes darted to the other side of the room to avoid your gaze “oh…well! that’s what happens when you lose track of time! i was really busy, then i was really sidetracked cause i saw this really cool store that sold all sorts of cool shit-“.
you gently pushed your bookmark into your book and kept your gaze on him “i know when you’re lying”.
he turned to you and sulked like he got caught with his hand in the candy jar, which did actually happen! and he did try to lie about it! so you know the signs.
you sat more up on the couch and spoke softly “what’s going on wade?”.
he sulked over and plopped on his knees in front of you, his voice only in whines and whispers now.
“i didn’t get any…y’know…today and now i just feel like shit, like if the term shit hit the fan was a scenario, it would be this, like it feels like shit just hit not even the fan, it hit the air conditioner-“.
you gently grab his face to get him to focus “look at me, focus”.
he nodded and continued “baby…i know it’s a lot to ask and you might say no, which is fine! you don’t have to say yes! but-“.
you could almost tell what he was going to say, but you wanted to hear it from him.
“but what?”.
he took a deep breath and then looked up at you with pleading eyes.
“can i feed off of you?”.
you felt and almost heard your heart beat faster.
so did he.
he took your hands and slowly rubbed his thumbs over them “again, you don’t have to, i was just thinking and you’re the only one i’ve told and-“.
“i’ll do it”.
you say it before your brain could even register what you said at all, your heart beating faster.
wade’s eyes widen a bit “are…wait are you sure?”.
you nodded slowly “yeah, yeah i’m sure”.
wade’s voice dropped to a lower whisper as he slowly sat next to you on the couch, his hands slowly and gently rubbing your thigh.
“can you tilt your head a bit for me baby?” he asked sweetly. you did as told, eyes closed bracing for the incoming impact.
steadily, wade hands snaked up your chest to hold the other side of your neck, the heat from his breath started to linger on your skin.
you squeeze your eyes shut as you feel the sharpness of his fangs sink into your neck, tearing small holes in your skin. his lips puckered on you, slowly drinking from you.
as he did so, small moans escaped him. your scent, your body, your blood…you. you were everything to him and the fact that you trusted him this much was enough to make him feel at ease.
after what felt like eternity, he lifted his mouth off your neck. it stung, for sure, but you carefully tilted your head to stare at wade to see him, blood staining his lips, panting slowly, eyes wide and glassy, staring at you like you were the only being in the world.
you were…enamoured with the sight. you’ve seen him vulnerable, of course, but never anything like this. you felt your heart do backflips, feeling like it could beat out of your chest any second.
he broke the silence, per usual, his voice shaky but sincere “thank you, seriously. i’m so grateful that i can trust you like this-“.
you listen, genuinely, but you’re also mildly distracted by the blood dripping from his lips. staining the corners of his mouth, drying slowly.
“babe, you have some on your lips” you whisper softly.
wade’s eyes widen as he swiped a thumb across his lips “shit! yeah i’m sorry that got a bit messy, hold on i’ll wipe it off-“.
before he could even continue, your lips were on his, the taste of each other and iron passing between you as you both moaned between kisses.
it was almost…intoxicating. but at the same time it felt unbelievably good.
wade felt himself get weak in the knees, his moans were a bit louder compared to yours, submitting himself to you in this scenario neither of you saw coming.
“t-thank you, i love you so fucking much, you drive me insane, you’re all i need, i swear you’re all i need” he whimpered for the brief milliseconds your lips were apart.
you both slowly pulled away and wade’s eyes widened with the sight of your own blood slightly staining your lips.
“well…” he said breathlessly, “someone enjoyed that”.
you shrugged and tried to hide a smile “maybe a little”.
wade took your hands in his again “i love you, i love you so so much”.
you planted a small kiss on his forehead “i love you more”.
he turned to get a glimpse of your neck, the tiny holes still there.
“did that hurt at all?”.
you shook your head “it stung a little, kind of felt good”.
you watch as his facial expression turns to shock “good? what kind of freak shit are you hiding from me?”.
you smirked “how bad do you wanna find out?”.
wade felt his heart beat faster.
he thought you wouldn’t be able to handle the whole vampire thing, but it was him who could barely handle you.
THANK YOU AHHHHHHHHHH
username inspo btw <3
my best ideas rlly are at 3 or 4 in the morning huh
my first fic have been gaining a lot of traction nowadays and i lowkey feel like it’s cause deadpool got added to marvel rivals? i could be completely wrong but i’m grateful for the support nonetheless
also my cousin is gonna teach me how to play the game cause i’m genuinely scared of getting cussed out by ppl and his gameplay looks so overwhelming cause he’s all three roles ahhhhhhhhhh
might have to use pics of him in the game for fic images cause his design and voice are soooooooo 😵💫😵💫😵💫