Dominic the Dominator hangs his head, defeated and feeling sorry for himself. Liberal amounts of concealer hides his many bruises and black eyes. A cloth mask, used to hide his broken nose and missing teeth, sits on the stained yellow table next to a bowl of chili, a cup of black tar, and an ashtray full of stumps.
"More coffee?" the waitress asks him before filling up his cup with more steaming sludge. Dominic the Dominator feigns a close-lipped smile, nods, and takes a sip. It almost tastes like the ashtray nearby. In other words, it's perfect.
He fights back tears as he thinks about the day. The kitchen fire, the island invasion, the laxatives in the punch bowl at a party of businessmen. It had all been going so well! He had been doing a great job of dominating the world around him. But then...
Submarine Man, he thinks to himself and grits his remaining teeth together. That spandex twink stood in the way of victory for the last time.
Dominic the Dominator aggressively spoons up some chilli between his swollen villainous lips, trying his best to eat away his sorrow without getting dry socket. He swallows, lights a cigarette, and tries to let his mind wander.
It had all started, here, at Rita's Diner. A chance encounter, swapping comic books, a night spent looking at the stars and wondering if anything had meant anything. That was the day that Dom had decided to become a supervillain.
Dom smiles, and for a moment, remembers the good times. Jared had been a hell of a guy. Brilliant beyond his years, hysterical beyond belief. Being a mad scientist had changed him. But on the other hand, Jared's experiments had changed him, too.
Best get back to the Dugeon of Agony, Dom thinks to himself. He chugs the steaming hot ooze, slams the cup down, pays. As he walks towards the old jukebox, he takes a longing look at his favorite Dolly Parton song. He reaches into his pocket, just as the door swings open and pins him against the machine.
"Shit on a shingle," a familiar voice politely requests at the counter. There's a drawl dragging at the corner of each word, bending the vowels as words string together. Dom swivels around. Dolly can wait.
"Dad?!" Dom cries out in surprise. A lanky figure wearing flannel and a John Deere hat looks up at him, his thin smile twisting at the wrinkles on his face. He motions to Dom to sit beside him.
"That's Tractor God to you," Dom's father whispers under his breath.
"Not in public. You're still my dad, anyway."
"You look like hell, son."
Before he can respond, a steaming plate of bread and gravy clatters gently onto the bar. Tractor God nods, smiles, and digs in to his country breakfast.
"My plan failed," Dom sighs, "my right-hand man betrayed me, my army scattered to the wind, and my nemesis beat me to a pulp."
"Heck, that Submarine kid still beating you?"
"He's a grown man, Dad. So am I, for that matter."
Tractor God thinks for a moment, and takes a few bites of breakfast.
"You know," he chews thoughtfully, "something similar happened to me back in the 70's."
"Oh, yeah," Dad smiles, "General Disruption and I were trying to do an invasion run and occupy Pekin. It was going well, but the General didn't think having me in the picture was a good insurance policy."
"He sent all of my followers into a trap. Got them all arrested and deprogrammed from their hypnosis. Then, Captain Industry got the jump on me. We fought in a steel mill. He ended up smashing my head into a grain silo."
"I was worried that I wasn't cut out for this business. I thought you never lost."
"Heck," Tractor God let his jaw go slack, "It took me a long time to get where I'm at. The best villains have to struggle. None of us come flying out the gate all perfect and invincible."
"I was worried that I was just a failure."
"Ha!" Tractor God laughs, "You're just failing, you aren't a failure. You're a chip off the old block, sport. One day, you'll be at my level, maybe even further."