I've been having anxiety so bad because this book releases on June 16th, and the manuscript edits aren't done. Literally everything else is done and ready, but the BOOK isn't. I've been stressing like hell because the editing is going SO SLOWLY, because the editor's notes have been taking me so long to decipher and figure out what they mean and why.
There have been tons of notes about expanding on literally throwaway lines. One two-sentence paragraph about Deimos and Sevin riding the train, that was only used to connect two other scenes, was highlighted as needing more description of the setting. I've been going INSANE trying to figure out how this book is somehow so terribly written even though it's in the same style and method as Scion of Bones (whose editor didn't have any complaints like this).
Now I've reached chapter 28, and there is a note:
"I'm just now realizing Sevin's adopted father has the same last name as Deimos."
???? What? Sevin doesn't have an adopted father. WHAT?
Then I get to these tidbits:
Book line: He looked like Prince Charming stepped right out of a book.
Editor: Where did he learn this concept?
Maybe from the fact Nova Cascadia was pretty clearly settled by US and Canadian colonists and the culture is very similar? Along with the fact that I, in the year of our lord 2026, am aware of common concepts people had 500 years ago as well? 😭
Book: Sevin and Deimos are deployed. Before they left, Grey suggestively told Sevin he's very brave for being alone with Deimos in the summer. It's been insinuated through the whole book Deimos is more animalistic than the others, Grey is fucking with Sevin and hinting it's Deimos' mating season.
Book line:
"Aren’t you hot?” “No. Our bodies adjust to borderline extreme temperatures. I’m fine.”
Editor: "Earlier someone said he’s brave for going out in summer with Deimos, but he’s able to adjust to extreme temps? That just makes the warning from earlier fall flat."
Ma'am, the temperature wasn't what he was warning about...
The air was filled with the rich smell of coffee beans and the sweet scent of pastries, the perfect palette cleanser after the stench of death that filled the Orion building.
“Give me whatever sixteen-year-old girls think is good right now,” I requested. “And add whipped cream.”
“Ouch,” the young man faked a wince. “Girlfriend mad at you? I’d grab her a brownie, too, if I were you.”
“You could say that,” I supposed. “Give me the brownie, too.”
Editor: "The “sixteen-year-old girl” bit isn’t getting him any looks? How young does he look? A man in his early twenties is definitely NOT a teenager."
He...he never said he was a sixteen-year-old girl? He requested whatever drink is popular with the teens right now???
And at this point, I realize she thought Deimos' chapter was still being told in Sevin's POV, despite taking place in the Crypt, the mention of needing to cut his blond hair, and his conversation with his father, General Constella. No, none of those clues were enough, what she took from that was "Sevin's adopted father has the same last name as Deimos."
I go back and go over all the editorial notes I've been stressing over, and I realize the reason I'm so confused is because almost all of them completely ignore established world-building, setting, and character arc. She's making these notes because she literally doesn't know what came before to lead up to them. So she's either REALLY not good at reading, she worked on this sporadically and forgot what happened in previous chapters, or she just skimmed.
I was having SO much trouble, particularly since there was like, a 4-chapter span explaining that Sevin is suffering empathy degradation, it's a major plot point, then had a note where she was confused as to why Sevin wouldn't be upset that Deimos killed two women he never met, before he ever met Deimos. We...we discussed this. Like, a lot. I feel like the fact that Sevin doesn't care about a lot of things anymore is a huge plot point leading up to the revelation that he's part of a hybridization experiment making him less human???
I'm now currently halfway done with going through and deleting almost all of her feedback. I swear to god, if I come back here on Friday and announce that all the editing is now done because it's gone so much more smoothly, I'm launching somebody into space. 😭
