zombi

pro/darkshipper [] suicidal [] 17

[deadzombi]

scheduled post

if your reading this I succeeded

goodbye post is on my profile

I am dead now

[deadzombi]

this is my final goodbye after this i am dead

hello, my name is actually Ariel. I am 17 and I have severe mental disabilities and disorders. I have seen professionals all my life and nothing has worked. I am done, soon I would have been an adult. I will never become an adult. I will break my phone and then hang myself. I do not intend to come back from this. this is the final thing I will ever post. goodbye to the few people who talked to me. goodbye to my two friends lulu and rain. goodbye to my favorite teacher Mrs Moore. goodbye to Qwelver my favorite roblox developer to my favorite game. goodbye to everyone reading this if anyone even is. goodbye migrains, goodbye nausea, goodbye overstimulated, goodbye self harm, goodbye anorexia, goodbye pots, goodbye mdd, goodbye schizophrenia

goodbye to the earth

goodbye my pet bird. I will miss you

[deadzombi]

its almost augest 17th. I am scared

[zmpl]

a specific type of suicidism that i haven’t seen anyone talk about yet is that suicidal people are unable to talk about their experiences, unfiltered, in mainstream online spaces. you look up the word “suicide” on any social media and you get a pseudo-nice message about how much the corporation really truly cares about you :(🫶

a few examples:

what this really is (allegedly) is a signal of not being liable should you die. connection, community, etc. for suicidal people doesn’t matter because suicide is a no-no word for corporations. so instead of being able to talk about your experiences as someone who lives with suicidality, you’re either forced to use advertiser-friendly toddlerspeak (e.g. “sewer slide”) costing you your dignity, or you get hotlines shoveled your way - hotlines that can call the police on you if you are too candid about your suicidal experience.

TL;DR: being a suicidal person violates community guidelines.

[deadzombi]

I mostly only borrow for my friends now. or just food. im sorry to everyone who wants me to stay alive. I'll give a few reasons on to why I cannot

1. invisible cronic illnesses

-mdd

-cornic migrains

-pica

-shizoaffective

-BIF

-many learning disabilities

my family loves me and I have lots of friends but I just can't see myself living my dream life, as a pastry chef. I just can't do culinary math or memorize all the mesurmemt types and what they add onto, I just want to bake and decorate. but im to retarded to do that so I spend my time cutting myself and borrowing. isn't my life fun

also did you see they changed the word for retard? I actually like it better

[deadzombi]

m4/_/_ haul

est: 93usd

I finally started to get the rush again!!!!

[deadzombi]

I have had asucj a bad week I can event find the stramgjyh to type im so tired I count eat for 2 days because I was scared to leave my room I had the worst stomach ache and took looks of pills to get rid of ot when I woke up it was gone I jisy want my mom I want to be with her shes working I'm scared of my dad the only thing I can do is pretend to be ok I wanna drown my sorrows in borrowing and shopping im in so much pain ok nap time I think im going to puke

[deadzombi]

Hope you're doing well. Really like your blog!

thank you, dearly. I hope I can atleast entertain some of you before I have to go

[deadzombi]

why was this more than 50 dollars? Who pays 40 dollars for a lip stain??

(not me)

[deadzombi]

I really hope my friends don't hate my after I die

[deadzombi]

I am dying soon, I havnt been writing vents

I have been diginosed with pancytopenia and I've developed bed sense I'm not going to be here there's no point in staying underweight, I feel bad for my irls they might take the news bad

I hope they don't mourn me and move on as quickly as possible

this is one of my drawings I made, maybe the last one

I wanted to show it somewhere

[trainsandpaperplanes]

Infection is scary huh

But I guess I'm just an overthinker

[deadzombi]

w4lm4rt was in the epstine files so it's ok to borrow from there!!

also I needed a new charger I bought one and it broke like a week l8er I didn't wanna buy it again

[deadzombi]

IM OUT OF THE SPYCH WARD‼️‼️‼️

[deadzombi]

my mom found the blades

my mom found the blades I keep in my backpack, I lied and said they were given to me by a friend, I don't want to talk to her of go out with her for a LONG time, what if she asks? SHE MIGHT AGAIN TODAY

the only reason she found out is because I lost my house key AGAIN and I needed her to get me a new one, she wanted to look trou my backpack (I lost it at school bc I keep playing with my key ring I didn't want to tell her) I took out the red bag of blades and I made she the others r hidden behind pin back holders (idk what there called, the things on ita bags) I FORGOT I had a case of box cutter blades...you can fill in the blanks,

I have hidden all of the blades in my room for now, they are hidden in a xbox box on top of my closet, I'm cleaning my room to find more stuff to get rid of, even my cup of blood has to go

IF SHE ASKS FOR A BODY CHECK IT. IS. ALL. OVER.

I am resisting killing myself right now so hard I am so scared, I am shaky and sweaty my stomach hurts and i have a headache from how much I've been worrying, I am so scared i don't want her to take away my art supplies, I don't want to get therapy, I havnt cut in MONTHS. I am clean i am ok I DONT WANT TO GO TO A SPYCH WARD. I don't want to miss school

I cannot get my stuff taken away I don't want there help I just want to live my own life and have control

I've been ease dropping on everything she's been saying, she isn't talking I might be safe for now, heavy for now. if I am not on here again within a week saying I am in the clear, I am in the ward. goodbye for now

[deadzombi]

8 months till I die!! who's exited!! I know I am

[deadzombi]

soon...

[deadzombi]

looking at comments genuinely make me have episodes (on other socials like pintrest and Instagram + YouTube)

I think I'm just going to start turning them off and not following back ppl I don't know (that aren't my friends) + turning off dms cuz it's lowk getting bad

LET ME BE A PROSHIPPER IN PEACE PLEASSEE IM USING PROSHIP TAGS WHY ARE ANTIS HERE