paper

I don't know anymore any/all vent account

[trainsandpaperplanes]

Intro post

vent art blog.

tw suicide, self harm, general bad mental health and edgy art.

I go by paper here

any/all

aroace

17

autism + dysthymia

if I ever disappear I've either been t-worded or idk maybe I died

[trainsandpaperplanes]

I'm sorry

[trainsandpaperplanes]

missing my blood

[stupidbpdb1tch]

I'm the problem. If I died everything would've been better

[trainsandpaperplanes]

I did not decide to not kms today to deal with this bullshit

[trainsandpaperplanes]

I keep mentally referring to my suicide note as a death note so who knows maybe I'll start killing people instead

[trainsandpaperplanes]

sorry i'm sorry i need to die

[trainsandpaperplanes]

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAa

[trainsandpaperplanes]

i sorry

[trainsandpaperplanes]

Feeling alive, just for a moment

[trainsandpaperplanes]

I just had a dream that I was in a hotel bathroom about to take a shower and I picked off a scab from a cut by accident and it started overflowing with blood like it flowed with a pulse so definitely arterial and it wouldn't stop unless I held it at the right angle and it stained the white bathmat bright red so I tried to wash it out with the shower nut the water was also red

So maybe I should be a bit more careful

[trainsandpaperplanes]

No matter how much I don't want a tomorrow and don't want to exist and despise myself, my legs always manage to freeze up so that I can't die.

Isn't that interesting?

[trainsandpaperplanes]

don't miss me when it happens, y'know?

[trainsandpaperplanes]

I could not apologise enough for being born

[trainsandpaperplanes]

on this minute 2 years ago I should have died

But I failed. I fucking failed.

There isn't a day that I don't regret it.

All I can do is hope that the next time actually works.

[trainsandpaperplanes]

Hahahaha

3 years.

Fuck.

[trainsandpaperplanes]

i don't just want to eat sugar. I want to become sugar. Turn all of my organs into it. Melt my brain into something sweet and incomprehensible. Do you get it?

[trainsandpaperplanes]

I need to be distracted constantly or else I'll remember that I exist