Hi I have too much time on my hands, also this is my blog, so Here's what I wish the seven stages were.
First of all: here's what I didn't like:
+ Thirst & Urination: was literally used once?? A waste of space, time and lines. There are other ways to get old!Five to leave the room other than going to piss.
+ Excessive Gas: Somehow the most creative & interesting one (it's noticeable, a use of voice effects instead of a visual ones, interesting dialogue options) but I just really don't think it's funny, it bores me and kinda feels cheap (that's my opinion tho, if you thought it was funny that's totally fine).
+ Paranoia: Too specific, also If u have to use the words "i don't trust him" in the dialogue, you've failed to convey paranoia properly. Besides, it's also way funnier if Five's just naturally paranoid.
+ Uncontrollable perspiration: He can sweat because of stress, if they want. It's interesting for visual purposes, but it's really just a waste of space. Also ew but again: that's just my opinion.
+ this isn't a specific stage, but the order was all jumbled up. I assumed it wouldn't be perfectly seperated but why give them an order if you were gonna ignore it anyway? Yea just a complaint
And now, without further ado: The Seven Stages of Paradox Psychosis (revised)
Basically: Headaches. This can be expressed in Eye strain, annoyance and irritability. It can be worked into the dialogue, but it could also remain hidden (which means if five chooses to tell Luther he has a headache, it means. Well. He chose to. You can go anywhere with that, as a showrunner and as a fan). I chose this because I want the first symptoms to be mostly physical, and the later ones to affect the mind. It's a nice lil suspense curve.
This is important for plot reasons, mostly. Anyway, I really liked it, and it works well. I don't know about the specific execution of it though, so I'd suggest to leave out lines like "no i didn't". It was hilarious in its bluntness, but it felt a little too obvious. I purposefully left the earliest symptoms as the most easily played off. I'd like to see Five excusing the symptoms away at the beginning, instead of straight up denying them. how about an annoyed "People itch themselves, luther. It's part of having skin" or something?
This is the only physical symptom I didn't change. It can be actively incorporated into actions and be, like, a genuine obstacle, if only for its distraction. I don't have much to say, I love the way Aiden worked this into his body language even when it wasn't adressed.
This is mostly a replacement for the paranoia, which I already explained why I didn't like. This'll be the point where Five starts, for loss of better phrasing, Losing His Goddamn Shit. This'll be a nice blur to the line between Five's "normal" issues and the Paradox Psychosis, a line that they seemed to be trying to blur anyway.
5. Deteriorating Coordination
There's a lot going on in his head rn. It makes sense for him to be distracted, which means this stage can be excused in the moment. They could have Five drop small things, bump into stuff, trip over himself. It's a nice way to keep the mood lighter without just hitting the fart joke button. Slapstick humour can be brilliant, if done creatively. Also, adding a symptom that can limit five physically will provide the suspense and conflict of a physical injury, without committing to one.
I spent a ridiculous amount of time trying to clearly phrase this. (I eventually gave up.) Basically what this means is: because they're the same person, they forget that there's two of 'em. It starts with things like finishing each other's sentences and feeling each other's pain, and later they'll try to stand in the same place, complete each other's action, and hear each other's thoughts. This has a visual aspect, a physical aspect and a mental aspect, AND provides a fascinating acting challenge and a genuine plot concern. I mean, think how much more worrying it'd be to see Five trying to communicate with Luther, knowing at any moment he could act on old!five's impulses, and vice versa. Imagine the fight scene but occasionally they accidentally kick themselves. I'd give anything to see that.
(This one is second to last because it'll be noticable and give us a warning to know that stage seven is coming.)
Yeah I'm not getting rid of it. The narrative value? The suspense? The comedy? Immaculate. I saw a post explaining how this works perfectly (which I can't find) but the main point, I think, was that if you're under the psycological pressure of being around yourself, it makes sense to go feral. So yea. It's being kept.
Whew alright that was a lot. I hope you enjoyed reading it as much as i did contructing it, and I would love to hear anything you have to comment! K bye <3
(Ps, i specifically hope @malorie-rilove @chuckabeth @thatsilentgirlinyourclass @thetrueihaveaname and @margarita-umbrella weren't dissapointed, since y'all literally helped me finish something for he first time in like ever. Seriously tysm)
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