I wrote this for my parent’s vow renewal ceremony. 50 years.
In preparing for this event, I began asking people what “love” meant, to them.
Following are a few of the answers received.
Love is letting them have whichever side of the bed they’d like, even if it changes.
Love is giving them the last bite, or not worrying that there are no seconds because you know they never finish their plate, anyway.
Love is time sent together, whether doing something, or doing nothing but breathing the same air.
Love is being able to call for them when you’ve already gotten in the shower and forgot your towel.
Love is being able to be yourself with another person.
Love is not only loving each other despite our faults and imperfections, but because of them.
And someone sent me a meme from a child: Love is when your puppy licks your face…
Even when you’ve been gone ALL day.
What I learned in all my research is, love is complicated.
I grew up in a home (well, to be honest MANY homes) with the two people here before us.
I was witness to the ups and downs it takes to be a couple – partners in life.
I saw struggles and arguments, as well as heard music and laughter.
There were highs and there were lows, there were disappointments and celebrations.
But what I always saw, deep down, was commitment and mutual admiration.
When it came down to it, through thick and thin, my parents always had each other’s backs above all else.
Growing up seeing this as a model, I though all marriages were like my parent’s.
I thought there was always communication, sacrifice and compassion, and as long as you loved each other, nothing else really mattered.
But not all couples are like my parents.
What I didn’t realize is that a good sense of humor, commitment to each other’s hobbies and goals and DEEP ADMRATION for each other’s imperfections were even more important.
My parents have never faltered in their commitment to each other.
They have always put each other first, making decisions that helped them grow and last as a partnership.
My parents have always found a way to laugh at themselves and with each other (though sometimes AT each other), building light-hearted camaraderie.
My parents, above all, have always been in awe of each other’s talents and had deep appreciation for each other’s short comings.
So, when I asked around to find out what “love” is, I knew I would get lots of fun and fruitful answers; I also knew that the real answer could only be found after decades of commitment and struggles like my parents have endured, together.
So now, even though perhaps there’s a few extra wrinkles, some thinning or silver hair, a couple of knees that would set off a metal detector, and a few extra pounds between you, we all know you still see the beautiful, young girl with the long, black hair and sparkling eyes- and a strapping, muscular lifeguard with an obsession for things that drive fast and fly high…
And, because of your love, that’s what we all still see, too.
