I feel the push and pull. Stay BAYE or pursue my dream elsewhere? They say you must crawl before you run...oh trust me...I feel the pain.
How do I keep this momentum..this passion..this self love..if there are external and internal distractions?What is this fine line of self love, and selfishness?
Why, during the road to success, the worst storm comes along? Why, oh why, oh why, oh why the mess? Why the tangled hair? Who could be trusted?
Can I even trust mine self?
Also, I am afraid of being alone...instead of the full sacrifices equated with being alone in order to be big, the company, the extra bodies, the extra energies are so comfortable.
You say it’s luck, and it seems unreal, have a back up plan. UGH! NO!
Big in every way possible. that’s what this body and soul strives for. Being big, and trying to get there comes with a very big price yeah? How would I know, I’m still playing tug of war with the world, and myself. You are worried about the economic glass ceiling. Hunny no, YOU GOT YOUR OWN PERSONAL GLASS YOU AIN’T EVEN BREAK THROUGH YET!
What if I died tomorrow? What if you died tomorrow?
Would you have been happy of where you were? How you were? What you were? Who you were? When it all happened to you? Did it happen for you? Did you cry? Did you laugh? Did you sing? Did you dance? Did you get on stage and do what you loved? Or did it take many excuses until it was too late?
Were you around people who made you the best you can be?
Were you lifted up? Or did gravity of people, energy, or false hope drag you down? Question yourself and ask God for help.
You have a conscience, and God is with you. You know exactly what you need to do.